A setback is something that blocks you from achieving a goal. Most people treat setbacks as mini-failures, and often use them as an excuse to give up… and therefore fail.
Every successful person has encountered setbacks, but learning what doesn’t work is an essential part of learning what does! Setbacks are a sign that you’re making progress.
Treat setbacks as signals that you might need to change your approach to achieve the goal. If an action consistently results in a setback, consider taking a different action. Repeat as necessary.
7. REDEFINE FAILURE AS “FAILING TO TAKE ACTION.”
This is the most important part. Indeed, the previous steps were only laying the groundwork for this one. Consider: regardless of your goals and milestones, you don’t have control over anything except your own behavior.
Redefining failure as “failing to take action” puts failure (and therefore success) within your control. When the only true failure is inactivity, you cannot fail… as long as you continue to take action.
So what’s the worst-case scenario when you think this way? It’s this: you might die before you achieve your goal. But you’ll still be successful because if failure is failing to take action, you were successful the moment you took action to achieve your goal!
SHORTCUT
TRANSCENDING FAILURE
CREATE goals that motivate you to achieve something possible.
ALWAYS write goals down; display them where you’ll see them.
DECIDE by saying “I must…” or “I will…” rather than “I’ll try…”
BREAK your big goals into smaller, measurable milestones.
CHECK whether you’re moving toward or away from your goals.
WELCOME setbacks because they’ll hone your plan.
THE only true failure is failing to take action.
SECRET 28
How to Become More Optimistic
If you truly want to be successful, it’s in your best interest to create and maintain a positive attitude. When you’ve got an attitude of optimism, expectancy, and enthusiasm, opportunities grow and problems shrink. Here’s how it’s done:
1. BEGIN EACH DAY WITH EXPECTATION.
Your experience at work and in life generally lives up (or down) to your expectations. Therefore, when you rise from bed, make your first thought be “Something wonderful is going to happen today.”
There’s a big lesson here, which is that your attitude isn’t controlled by events. While truly sad things do happen, most of the time your attitude is the result of how you’re viewing the world, rather than what’s happening in it.
It’s absolutely true that the day’s events might not proceed in the manner you’d prefer. Even so, if you keep looking for something positive to happen, your mind will find something that fulfills that expectation.
2. ASSUME OTHER PEOPLE MEAN WELL.
It’s impossible to really know the “why” behind the “what” that people do. Attributing other people’s weird behaviors to evil motives adds extra misery to life, while assuming good intentions leaves you open to reconciliation.
You can’t read minds and you don’t have everyone wired to a lie detector. Truly you have no idea what anyone is really thinking or why people do what they do. In most cases people are doing the best they can with the resources they’ve got.
Before you tell a story about somebody else (or listen to one), ask yourself four questions: (1) is it true? (2) is it kind? (3) is it necessary? and (4) would I want somebody telling a similar story about me? Treat others as you’d like to be treated.
3. AVOID DEPRESSING CONVERSATIONS.
Stop complaining about the economy, your company, or your customers. Same thing with your personal problems and illnesses. What does it do, other than depress you and everyone else around you?
Similarly, it’s wasting your breath to argue about things, such as religion and politics, that get people all riled up. When such topics surface, bow out. Say something like, “Whether I agree or not, it’s not a useful discussion for us to have right now.”
Some battles aren’t worth fighting, and many people are easier to handle when they think they’ve won the argument. What’s important isn’t “winning,” but what you, and the other people involved, plan to do next.
4. LET GO OF YOUR RESULTS.
The big enemy of happiness is worry, which comes from focusing on events that are outside your control. Once you’ve taken action, there’s usually nothing more you can do. Focus on the job at hand rather than some fantasy of what might happen.
The nature of the physical universe is change. Nothing remains the same; everything is, as the gurus say, transitory. Whether you’re celebrating or mourning or something in between, this too will pass.
Remember that while some work environments are inherently difficult, if you’re consistently miserable, it’s your fault. You owe it to yourself and your coworkers to either find a job that makes you happy or make the best of the job you’ve got.
5. IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE.
Sometimes we can’t avoid scarfing something quickly to keep us up and running. Even so, at least once a day, try to eat something really delicious, such as a small chunk of fine cheese or an imported chocolate. Focus on it; taste it; savor it.
In addition, many households leave their TVs on as background noise while they’re doing other things. The entire point of broadcast TV is to make you dissatisfied with your life. If you want some background noise, play an audiobook.
Finally, go through your home and office and throw out everything that isn’t useful or beautiful. Why would you want to pollute your life and your environment with objects that are useless and ugly?
6. ADOPT AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE.
The small and large successes and accomplishments in your life deserve recognition. It’s a mistake to move on to the next task or goal without celebrating, even if only by patting yourself on the back.
Similarly, give a verbal gift to everyone you meet—a smile, a word of encouragement, a gesture of politeness, or even a friendly nod. Always say, “Thank you,” even for the smallest of services.
Finally, just before you go to bed, write down at least one wonderful thing that happened. It might be something as small as a making a child laugh or as huge as landing a million-dollar deal. Be grateful for the day, because it will never come again.
7. FOCUS ON THE FUTURE.
Focusing on past mistakes or wrongs inflicted on you is like driving a car while looking in the rearview mirror. You’ll keep heading in the same direction until you collide with something solid.
While you can and should learn from the past, keep your thoughts on the future. Daydream about how things might be better. It’s when you let your thoughts wander that you’re more likely to have the insights that create your future.
Above all, believe that the best is yet to come. When my grandmother was in her seventies, she returned to college, traveled across Europe in youth hostels, and learned Japanese painting. The last thing she told me was, “You know, Geoffers, life begins at ninety.”
SHORTCUT
BECOMING OPTIMISTIC
EXPECT something wonderful to happen every day.
DON’T try to read minds; treat people as you’d want to be treated.
DON’T waste breath fighting about things you can’t change.
CONCENTRATE on the job at hand, not the results you seek.
TAKE better control of the pleasures in your life.
BE thankful for every day and every accomplishment, yours and others’.
REMEMBER that the best is yet to come.
PART V
How to Communicate
Communication isn’t just important in business; it is the very core of business itself. While individual contributors may work alone, their work has no meaning unless other people know about it.
Managing is communication, selling is communication, marketing is communication. You’d think, given its importa
nce, that businesspeople would be good at communicating. However, that’s not usually the case.
The business world is chockablock with bloated documents, cryptic e-mails, pointless conversations, and boring meetings. Fortunately it doesn’t have to be this way, as the following secrets explain:
“Five Rules for Business Communication” contains the essential keys to making yourself understood, regardless of whether you’re communicating in person, over the phone, or online.
“How to Have a Real Conversation” describes how to fully understand what another person is trying to say and then move the conversation forward toward whatever decision you want the other person to make.
“How to Write a Compelling E-mail” provides the process for composing a crisp, easily read message that both helps the recipient understand the decision you want made and drives the recipient to make that decision.
“How to Give a Memorable Presentation” explains how to guide an audience through a set of emotions using the power of your voice and your ideas, as well as essential rules to make your presentation more effective.
“How to Work a Room” gives you the tools you need to build business contacts at conferences, meetings, and social events, without seeming pushy and while staying within the bounds of social convention.
“How to Negotiate an Agreement” contains the essence of getting what you want in return for what you’re offering. This method applies to every negotiation from simple salary discussions to million-dollar sales.
“How to Handle Alarming E-mails” describes the three e-mails that nobody ever wants to receive and how you can respond to them in a way that both protects your interests and moves your agenda forward.
SECRET 29
Five Rules for Business Communication
Most business communication is dreadful: fluff-filled internal e-mails, dead-boring presentations, conversations that start and end nowhere, sales messages that leave customers scratching their heads.
In every organization the real leader is whoever can communicate the most clearly and make complicated things seem simple and simple things seem obvious.
Five rules apply to all business communication. Learn them, memorize them, practice them, and make them part of your everyday mental toolbox.
1. PINPOINT THE PURPOSE BEHIND THE COMMUNICATION.
Communication is information with a purpose. Therefore, it’s possible to communicate well only if you are clear about the purpose of the communication.
Therefore, before you initiate any communication at work, ask yourself the following three questions (and answer them):
1. What decision am I seeking?
2. Whom do I want to make this decision?
3. Is this the right time to ask that person?
The clearer your answers to these questions, the clearer your communication will be.
2. CHOOSE A MEDIUM THAT’S CONVENIENT FOR THE DECISION-MAKER.
It was famously said in the twentieth century that “the medium is the message.” Now that we’re all inundated with media, that’s no longer true. Today you want the medium to be “transparent” so the decision-maker focuses on the decision.
Always use the medium (or media) that demands the least mental and emotional effort from the decision-maker.
For example, never ask for a face-to-face meeting if the decision you want made can be effectively handled through a quick exchange of texts or e-mails. Similarly, never use e-mail when the decision requires the personal touch of a face-to-face interaction.
For example, if you’re using e-mail to avoid feeling uncomfortable (such as when delivering bad news), you’re choosing a medium based on your needs rather than those of the decision-maker.
3. SIMPLIFY WORDS AND SENTENCES.
The business world is complicated enough without your using five-dollar words when five-cent ones will do the job better. Below is a real-life example, a press release selected at random (with my rewrite):
WRONG:
“Acme provides GPS intelligence for small and medium-sized businesses to track/manage/automate their mobile fleets. Based on data and metrics Acme provides, SMBs gain visibility and actionable intelligence to adjust their service vehicles accordingly for both improved customer satisfaction and bottom line.”
RIGHT:
“Acme tracks the location of your service trucks so you know where they are and can get them where they need to go. This saves you money because you can now service more customers with the same-size fleet.”
The original forces the decision-maker to struggle to figure out what’s being sold. What does “GPS intelligence” mean? Or “track/manage/automate”? The problem is not that the original is completely indecipherable, but that it needs to be deciphered at all.
By contrast, the rewrite simply says what’s being sold and why it’s important to the decision-maker. I should emphasize that the original press release is better than average, though; I’ve read plenty that were far more convoluted.
The trick to simplifying your communication is: write the way you talk. In my experience almost everybody is better at talking clearly than at writing clearly. If you’ve got to write something, do this:
1. Use the “record” function on your phone, tablet, or PC.
2. Imagine yourself talking to a colleague.
3. Say whatever it is you want to say (keeping your purpose in mind).
4. Play back and transcribe what you just recorded.
5. Edit out any biz-blab or jargon that accidentally slipped in.
Once you’ve done this a few times, you may find that you can “hit record” in your head and hear yourself talking. Eventually it becomes automatic.
4. REPLACE BUSINESS CLICHÉS WITH PLAIN LANGUAGE.
Many businessfolk believe that their communications will seem more businesslike and profound if they pepper them with business clichés, buzzwords, and biz-blab. Such people are idiots mistaken.
For example, high-tech marketing documents frequently describe products as “cutting-edge,” “industry-leading,” “third-generation,” “fourth-generation,” “leading-edge,” “state-of-the-art,” “2.0,” and “next-generation.”
None of these terms mean anything. Not really. Far from making the stuff seem more exciting, biz-blab marks the person who uses it as (at best) an unoriginal thinker and (at worst) a fool.
Bulking up your communication with business clichés also slows decision-making down. Below is an example from a real-life business document, along with my rewrite:
WRONG:
“In order to focus externally, we must focus both externally and internally (customer’s customer and internal alignment necessary to respond), with internal collaboration with common focus/goals by stakeholders accountable for ultimate business results oriented, optimized and coordinated outputs, aligned around the sales cycle and with a proactive approach to higher order competency investments and being unwilling to throw deliverables over the fence to sales teams and trust results will be achieved.”
RIGHT:
“We should measure changes in sales revenue to make certain the sales training actually worked.”
I could list a bunch of business buzzwords, but there are so many of them (and more are created every year) that it would be pointless. Instead I suggest you do a Web search for “list of business buzzwords.” You’ll find plenty to avoid.
5. REPLACE TECHNICAL JARGON WITH EVERYDAY WORDS.
This rule applies only if you’re an expert attempting to communicate with a non-expert. When experts communicate with other experts, jargon is useful because it allows bursts of communication without an explanation of stuff both parties already know.
However, jargon prevents non-experts from understanding what you’re talking about, which makes it difficult or impossible for them to make the decision you want. If you want non-experts on board, replace jargon with commonly understood terms.
WRONG:
“Dielectric interference that’s trivial at
24 nm will likely overload at 12 nm.”
RIGHT:
“Computer chips that contain electrical components that are smaller than 1/8000th the width of a human hair—about half the size of today’s components—may not be reliable. Why? Because the electricity in those components might make them interfere with each other, as when your cell phone crackles on a call when you’re standing next to a microwave.”
Note that using commonly understood words usually takes longer than expressing the same thought using technical jargon. It also takes a lot more thought and effort, because you must “get outside” your expertise and imagine how a non-expert might approach and understand the subject matter. However, it’s worth the extra effort if you truly want non-experts to understand you.
SHORTCUT
CLEAR BUSINESS COMMUNICATION
ALWAYS know your reason for communicating.
PICK a medium that’s appropriate for the other person.
SIMPLIFY your message for easy mental consumption.
EDIT out the buzzwords and corporate-speak.
AVOID jargon unless dealing with fellow experts.
SECRET 30
How to Have a Real Conversation
Business Without the Bullsh*t Page 12