When the bald-faced lie is written, rather than spoken, only signs 5 through 8 apply. In both cases the rule of thumb is: trust your gut. If it feels as if you’re hearing a lie, you probably are.
2. HOW TO SPOT A HALF-TRUTH.
People tell half-truths because they want all the benefits of telling a lie (i.e., mislead you to their advantage) without the risk of being caught out or suffering the burden of being forced to think of themselves as liars.
For example, suppose your boss knows for certain that you’ll soon be laid off, but needs you to finish up your current project. If you ask, “Is my job secure?” your boss can tell the truth (“No”) or a bald-faced lie (“Yes”).
For your boss, though, there’s a downside to both approaches. On the one hand, the truth might cause you to leave the company before your current project is complete. On the other hand, telling the bald-faced lie forces the boss to self-identify as a liar.
Because of this, the boss is more likely to tell a truth that’s misleading, such as “Rest assured, your contribution is appreciated.” Hearing this half-truth, you might conclude (wrongly) that your job is secure.
The trick to spotting a half-truth is to corner the possible liar and ask questions so it’s more difficult for the other person to maintain the half-truth in the no-man’s-land between honesty and dishonesty.
Building on the example above, suppose Fred knows that Jill is going to be laid off, but still wants her to plug away at a major project. Here’s how the conversation starts:
Jill: Is my job secure?
Fred: Rest assured, your contribution is appreciated.
If Jill accepts this answer, she’ll assume that she isn’t going to be laid off. Instead, she should ask the question again, but leaving Fred less wiggle room.
Jill: That’s great. Am I going to be laid off?
At this point Fred must either tell the truth (“Yes”) or a bald-faced lie (“I don’t know”). If it’s a bald-faced lie, it’s likely that Fred’s body language will change enough to warn Jill that she’s being lied to.
Of course, Fred could simply tell another half-truth:
Fred: The final decisions haven’t been made.
However, by making another ambiguous statement, Fred has provided Jill with a touchstone. Rule of thumb: two ambiguous responses in a row means that the other person is lying. (In other words, two half-truths equal one full lie.)
When employees tell half-truths to their bosses, it’s usually an attempt to hedge. The employee gives an answer that sounds affirmative, but has one or more caveats hidden inside it. For example:
Jill (boss): Are you going to complete this project on time?
Jim (engineer): Yes, the technicians will finish the testing on Monday.
But just a moment! How can Jim possibly know if his project will finish on time when he doesn’t yet know the test results? Therefore, Jim’s yes is a half-truth that should signal Jill to press the point further.
Jill: What if the tests are negative?
Identifying people who tell half-truths allows you to assess whether they can be trusted and whether you can believe their promises and commitments, which allows you to make better decisions.
3. HOW TO SPOT AN INDIRECT LIE.
An indirect lie happens when somebody passes along information that he or she knows is untrue, by claiming he heard that piece of information from somebody else.
For example, Fred knows a layoff is imminent, but when asked about it says, “Jerry doesn’t think so.” Fred may technically be telling the truth (because Jerry is misinformed), but the statement is intended to mislead.
Here’s another example. You can turn almost any false statement into something that’s technically true by preceding it with the phrase “It’s rumored that…” Such statements are always “true” because the statement starts the rumor.
To spot an indirect lie, poke at the source that the possible liar is citing. If you find it wanting, ask the question again more directly. For example:
Jill: Is a layoff coming?
Fred: Jerry doesn’t think so.
Jill: And is Jerry in a position to know for certain?
Fred: Uh… maybe…
Jill: To the best of your knowledge, is a layoff coming?
Once again you’ve maneuvered Fred into a position in which he must tell either the truth or a bald-faced lie.
SHORTCUT
WORKPLACE LIES
LIARS reveal themselves by their body language.
LIARS are often overly insistent that they’re telling the truth.
HALF-TRUTHS are technically true but intended to mislead.
FLUSH out half-truths by pressing for specifics.
INDIRECT lies attribute the lie to somebody not present.
FLUSH out indirect lies by questioning the source.
SECRET 46
How to Identify a Bogus Statistic
Mark Twain wrote, “There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.” Since statistics are traded around the workplace with gusto, it’s in your interest to be able to identify the ones that misrepresent the truth. To do this, ask these five questions:
1. IS THE DATA SOURCE OBJECTIVE?
Statistics are only as valid as the data that lies behind them. As a general rule, if the person or organization that gathers the data will receive some kind of financial benefit if the data is skewed, the data will be skewed.
For example, if a corporation responsible for a large amount of pollution funds a study “proving” that the pollution is harmless, the data in that study is almost guaranteed to be skewed, because otherwise the polluter would be forced to spend money to clean it up.
2. IS THE SAMPLING RANDOM?
Companies frequently run Web polls in which people accessing the website decide whether they want to participate in the survey. However, any statistics based on these “self-selected” polls are automatically bogus.
For example, if I stick on a website a question like, “How well are we doing on customer service?” only people who have had very good or very bad customer service experiences will bother to answer. You’ll have no idea what the typical customer thinks.
3. DOES IT MISUSE THE CONCEPT OF AN AVERAGE?
Many bogus statistics use averages in a way that’s clearly intended to mislead. For example, in a room with one billionaire and 999 people who are penniless, the average wealth per person is a million dollars. While true, the statistic is misleading.
Rather than averages, valid statistics tend to use the concept of a median, which is the middle value when all values are arranged in order. In the example above, the median wealth per person is zero dollars, regardless of the presence of the billionaire.
4. DOES IT ASSUME CAUSALITY?
Even if two sets of data seem to be in lockstep, you have no idea whether that is meaningful until you know for certain that one thing caused the other. Correlation is not causation.
For example, if your sales revenue spikes upward after your salespeople attend a sales training class, the increased revenue may be the result of sales training or may be the result of something unrelated, like an improvement in economic conditions.
5. IS THE GRAPHIC REASONABLE?
Graphical presentations of data (whether bogus or real) can also mislead. For example, by tweaking the scale of a graph, you can make a small difference look like a big difference (or vice versa):
The graphic gives the impression that there’s been a huge increase in sales, when in fact, sales increased only by a measly .1 percent. Rule of thumb: the fancier the graphs, the more likely it is that the presentation is purposefully misleading.
Another way to distort graphics is to present insignificant amounts in a way that makes them seem significant. For example, if you ask nine customers a question and eight of them answer yes, you create a graphic like this:
However, if you’ve got thousands of customers, it’s impossible that those nine are representative of your enti
re customer base. You end up with a statistic that seems authoritative but is in fact entirely bogus.
SHORTCUT
BOGUS STATISTICS
IF the data source makes money on the statistic, the data is probably bogus.
IF the people surveyed volunteered to be surveyed, the statistic is meaningless.
THE concept of an average is often abused; ask, “What’s the median?”
WHEN things happen in parallel they’re not necessarily related.
GRAPHICS tend to make statistics appear more significant than they are.
SECRET 47
The Eight Lies Most Bosses Tell
The boss/employee relationship has an inherent inequality of power, and since knowledge is power, most bosses will want to keep some knowledge to themselves and away from employees. Doing so often involves telling the following lies:
1. “WE CAN’T PAY YOU MORE.”
The crux of this lie is located in the word can’t. If a company has any cash flow whatsoever, the boss is making decisions about where to spend based on what the boss feels is a priority. Your salary isn’t the priority, so can’t really means won’t.
Ideally, of course, compensation should be comparable, at least in some sense, to the amount of value each employee creates. Because that’s seldom the case, bosses are often forced to lie to employees in order to keep from being pressured to pay more.
Since your compensation always reflects the minimum your boss believes you’ll accept, when you hear this lie, it’s a signal that you need to renegotiate the compensation agreement you have with your boss. (See “Secret 5. How to Ask for a Raise.”)
2. “YOUR RAISE IS ABOVE AVERAGE.”
If you’re in an organization in which the compensation for everyone in the group is pulled from a set amount of money, there’s a good chance that the boss is describing almost everyone’s raise as “above average.”
Companies that employ nonunion labor are exquisitely sensitive about anybody sharing salary information, because such sharing inevitably makes somebody feel that he or she is being slighted. Bosses therefore tell this lie because they’re afraid that if you knew what your coworkers were being paid, you would quit in disgust. To discover whether the claim is actually a lie, push for further details. (See “Secret 45. How to Spot a Workplace Lie.”)
3. “WE’RE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY.”
In real life happy families don’t keep secrets from one another, and tend to share everything equally. Since that isn’t the case with any business, the only kind of family a business can resemble is a highly dysfunctional one.
Indeed, the most wretched places to work are those in which bosses and employees replicate the yelling, spanking, criticism, deception, and cruelty that play a huge role in the horrors of a miserable childhood.
Bosses tell this lie in the hope that you’ll feel reluctant to push for a raise or promotion lest you upset “your family.” Therefore, your best bet is to quietly refuse the entire premise of the lie and remember that it’s not personal, it’s business.
4. “THERE’S NO TRUTH TO THE LAYOFF RUMOR.”
This statement means that a layoff is definitely going to happen. This lie is told because management either wants to keep the talented people from jumping ship or wants to prevent irate employees from committing acts of vandalism before they’re escorted to the door.
Before you get too irritated at your boss for telling you this whopper, consider that your boss is probably fighting for his or her own career, is being asked to do top management’s dirty work, and may end up being the last person to get axed.
The moment you hear your boss deny any rumor, you immediately know that it’s true. Therefore, if you hear this one, you should immediately activate your escape plan. (See “Secret 39. What to Do If There’s a Layoff.”)
5. “MY HANDS ARE TIED.”
Bosses feign helplessness when they want to renege on a commitment to an employee, or escape blame for a decision that’s unfavorable to the employee. Example: “I tried hard to get you the raise I promised you, but since sales are down, my hands are tied.”
By attributing the decision to corporate policy or salary guidelines, the boss not only escapes your ire, but can leave you feeling as if you owe the boss for at least “trying” to get you what you want.
However, there are always exceptions to policies and guidelines, but they require effort on the part of your boss to make them happen. Therefore, rather than giving up when you hear this lie, push harder for what you want.
6. “YOU’LL BE WORKING FORTY HOURS A WEEK.”
If your boss thinks of your work in terms of the hours you expend on the job, and you are not paid by the hour (that is, you’re salaried), your boss will constantly pressure you to work more than forty hours a week.
This is simple economics. The only reason any company turns an hourly job into a salaried position is that it’s then possible to extract more time from each worker than the company is paying for.
Whenever you hear this lie, assume that you’ll be pressured to work unpaid overtime. Not to worry, though. If you treat this demand as unreasonable (see “Secret 6. How to Handle Unreasonable Requests”), you can get out of working unpaid overtime. Then, if you manage your time correctly, you’ll get more done than the people who are coerced into working ridiculously long hours. (See “Secret 23. How to Have Enough Time.”)
7. “YOUR RESPONSE WILL BE CONFIDENTIAL.”
This lie is generally told when employees are asked to participate in a survey that solicits criticism of the company or its management. The hope is that employees will truthfully communicate their negative opinions and views.
The moment you sign an employee contract, however, you waive your right to privacy. So if you’re asked for a confidential opinion, your best bet is to “praise with faint damnation,” even if you’re being surveyed by a supposedly “independent” source.
For example, if you’re asked “confidentially” if your boss is doing a good job, don’t say something like, “He’s in over his head.” Such honesty will come back and bite you, so say something innocuous like, “My boss works too hard.”
8. “YOUR PARTICIPATION IS VOLUNTARY.”
This lie always means its opposite. For example, attendance at a “brown-bag lunch” where top management will be giving a presentation is voluntary only if you plan to voluntarily get fired.
Similarly, you’re putting your job at great risk if you don’t “voluntarily” contribute to the annual charity drive. As the great historian Edward Gibbon put it: “The invitations of a master are scarcely to be distinguished from commands.”
In the corporate world, voluntary is code for mandatory. Whenever you’re told that something is voluntary, always be the first person to sign up and the last person to complain about it.
SHORTCUT
COMMON BOSS LIES
“WE CAN’T PAY YOU MORE.” Truth: your salary isn’t a priority.
“YOUR RAISE IS ABOVE AVERAGE.” Truth: you probably got stiffed.
“WE’RE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY.” Truth: this place is totally dysfunctional.
“THERE’S NO TRUTH TO THE LAYOFF RUMOR.” Truth: a layoff is imminent.
“MY HANDS ARE TIED.” Truth: I’m unwilling to fight for what you want.
“YOU’LL BE WORKING FORTY HOURS A WEEK.” Truth: you will have no personal life.
“YOUR RESPONSE WILL BE CONFIDENTIAL.” Truth: it will be used against you.
“YOUR PARTICIPATION IS VOLUNTARY.” Truth: your participation is mandatory.
SECRET 48
The Seven Times It’s OK to Lie to the Boss
At first glance this chapter might seem to run contrary to the overall theme of this book, because lies increase rather than decrease the amount of bullsh*t in the workplace.
However, there is a social contract between human beings: don’t lie to me and I won’t lie to you. In business that contract is often seen as working only one way: a boss can lie but
an employee cannot. And that’s the real bullsh*t.
When bosses tell self-serving lies about salaries, raises, layoffs, work hours, etc., they set themselves beyond the limits of ethical human behavior. That being the case, they no longer have any right to ask for total honesty from the people they employ.
Of course, you may always choose to tell the truth, but in the circumstances below… lying may be the better part of candor.
1. WHEN LYING IS PART OF YOUR JOB.
Some jobs, by definition, involve fooling the public with half-truths. If that’s the case with your job, you’d best be consistent in private. Trust me, if your boss hired you to lie, the last thing he or she wants is to be told the truth.
For example, suppose you’re responsible for public relations at an oil company. Admitting to your boss that you know you’re spouting nonsense about global warming makes you look like a hypocrite. If you must lie as part of your job, it’s also your job to lie consistently.
2. WHEN YOU’RE PROTECTING COWORKERS.
If you have personal dirt on your coworkers, you owe it to them to keep it to yourself, even if the boss asks. For example, if you’re aware that Joe called in sick because he was drinking whiskey until 3 a.m. the night before, your best response is “I have no idea why he’s not here.”
Business Without the Bullsh*t Page 20