by Sandra Ross
Afterwards, he fell on top of her, lost.
It was quite some time after, that he could finally move. She was still out of it. He fell beside her on the bed and pulled her on his body, so that he could put his arms around her.
He didn't want to think that the situation did not develop as he had planned. He was supposed to seduce her, blind her with sex, not be blinded himself. He didn't want to think that he had the best orgasm of his life. Or that he wanted her again, like a hungry man, so quickly, while at the same time he desperately needed to simply hold her and never let her go.
Or that he came inside her without using a condom. Even if his partners were using some other kind of protection, he never took such a risk. He knew, of course, that she was taking a pill prescribed by a community doctor due to a minor problem with her monthly circle, but still... he never trusted anything. The pill was not one hundred percent safe. But he didn't care before that moment when he possessed her. As soon as the first thrust, he was completely taken over. And if she knew that, she will surely kill him.
She opened her eyes, looked at him and smiled like an angel. He thought she could kill him, and it would be worth it.
Chapter Eight
HE could tell the exact moment she realized it.
She blinked. "Oh... but... you... you didn't use protection!"
"Weren't you on the pill?" he asked, not letting her know that he knew.
"I... it didn't matter because you didn't even ask!" she replied, starting to push away. "What if I wasn't?!"
He had to do something to calm her down quickly . He reached and grabbed her back before she could completely be out of his reach. She's as untrusting as a stray cat, and he knew why. Weren't they cut from the same mold? Didn't they come from the same place? Except she didn't know that. It wasn't time for her yet to know.
"Iliana, let me explain-"
She tried to pull herself away and almost made it, she freed one of her hands and nearly punched him. When he tried to kiss her, she tried to bite his lips. He knew it was what was on her mind. But she stopped struggling as the kiss took over. Her body was still tensed, but a full minute and maybe more of intense and passionate kissing, she has become completely relaxed.
"I'm sorry," he murmured as his hands caressed her breasts. Oh, how he's completely fallen in love with them. "I have a box of condom in the drawer, but I completely couldn't stop when I got inside you. It felt so delicious... and since you probably knew what we'd be doing once I get you inside my house I expected you'd be on the pill. As everyone is."
She slapped him on his chest. "I'm not everyone! I don't sleep around, Nickolas. I have not been in bed with a man for years since... since my first lover. And you never gave indication we'd be... we'd be something like this. That you'd be this... I didn't know you would be this lustful."
"Hmm... lustful is an understatement." He soothed her more with more kissing, snuggling, and caressing. "I wanted you so badly... Iliana. You can look inside the drawer and see about the condoms, if you want." Which she did. He only saw the sigh of relief when she saw the box. She was as distrustful as he knew she would be. "I'll do anything you want. Tomorrow morning I'll go and buy the next-day-pill, or anything else you want. I'm really sorry. I guess... but you do use protection?"
She tried to concentrate at what he was saying. Although his voice sounded really sad and his expression was really guilty, something wasn't just right. He didn't strike her as a man that would just forget such a thing. And he didn't sound really concerned, either. She looked at him suspiciously, and admitted. "I'm taking the pill."
"Ohh... but then... everything is fine! We just ruled out the possibility of a pregnancy. I assure you that I am perfectly healthy and I have no doubt in my mind you are too. So, no harm is done!"
This sudden, cheerful mood was too fishy! But before she had time to think more clearly, his mouth was once again attacking hers with gusto. She melted into the kiss. He kissed so deliciously, so heavenly. How could she think straight when he's kissing her?
She thought they were going to make love again, but he stopped and used a phone to command someone from inside the house to get the food ready. She thought they were going to eat in his bedroom, but there was an anteroom, like a breakfast room connected to his bedroom and to his work room and study. And they went there after the call came that everything was ready.
The table was laden with her favorite dishes! It was a delight to know he really prepared for this dinner. There were lamb steaks and fruits, and wine. Delicious, sweet, intoxicating wine.
After the sumptuous dinner, he only gave her time to clean herself in his big bath before he was carrying her to the bed again.
They made love again... slow and delirious, very satisfying. Still, they did not sleep when she felt so exhausted. Being with him felt like being electrified. She couldn't spare any time for sleep if she could help it.
When she thought they were going to make love again, he just kissed her. Long, delicious, passionate kisses that didn't go anywhere but make her purr with satisfaction and contentment as she laid in the security of his arms.
Chapter Nine
HOURS passed until it was almost dawn. They could see the still dark sky in his open ceiling. Iliana was half asleep in his arms and Nickolas was playing with her hair.
"Iliana... where did your name come from? Did it mean something?"
She smiled sleepily. "My parents were Greek, second generation immigrants. Ilios in Greek means sun. It was my daddy's idea because when I was born, he said that my red hair blinded him as if he had looked straight at the sun with bare eyes. Silly talk..."
Her lips were smiling nostalgically and her eyes watched the glass ceiling, and the sky that was showing shades of blue. Nickolas felt his heart bleeding. He thought he didn't have one anymore. The old, familiar guilt rushed inside him.
He chased it away, as he did all these years.
He was ready to complete the second part of his plan which was to make her open up to him entirely. He knew he was about to inflict her great pain. He had to do it.
Besides, there were some details he didn't know and he had to learn every little thing if he wanted to keep her alive. His body was stiff with tension, but he proceeded.
"Tell me about your childhood, about your family."
She froze. Her smile faded and she looked at him with tortured eyes. "Why?"
He smiled at her. "I want to know everything about you. I knew you've lost your parents because you have already mentioned it, but I want to know more. Please, Kitty, tell me." His voice was tender and melancholic and his eyes looked sad, almost as if this talk hurt him as much as her.
But she couldn't. She hadn't spoken to anyone about this.
Not even to Ramon who actually knew the story, more or less than she knew.
She moved from him and turned her face away. "I don't want to talk anymore now." Her voice sounded thin and squeaky, almost childish. That's how she felt. Like she was six years old again...
But Nickolas wouldn't let her go. He brought her back to him, skin touching warm skin. Ignoring her attempts to resist, he put his arms around her and placed her head on his chest, right above his thudding heart. He started gently caressing her hair and cheek and spoke tenderly.
"You have to talk eventually, sweetheart. Talk to me now." There was authority in his voice as he insisted. "I want to know more about you, everything I can. I want to start knowing more about you now. I want to be able to help you, protect you, be your wall." He kissed the top of her head. "I haven't felt like this with any other woman, Kitty. I feel very protective of you, like you're one stray cat I found and now I own you. Do you understand? I want you to trust me. Tell me everything, the most important things about you. I feel that you love them very much. I want to know about them."
The strong beating of his heart was calming her, made her feel safe. Maybe she could talk, after all. It was so long ago. Maybe... this man... who seemed to know her so well
... who understood her and seemed willing to accept her even when she came from a very questionable background compared to his. Besides, he didn't know her parents. It would be just another story to him. While she... she could tell the story, and maybe feel for the first time that she's finally not alone. Not anymore.
Maybe she really could trust him. She already felt like they had shared each other's soul to each other after what happened a few hours ago. Making love with him felt exactly like that. Like they'd become one; equal parts to a whole. Soul mates.
She smiled to herself. She never thought she could be this melodramatic. Maybe she really was in love?
She started talking, at first in a flat, emotionless voice.
Chapter Ten
"MY parents were poor. In fact, when I was born, we became poorer because my daddy lost his job. He could hardly find a day's labor and my mommy was cleaning houses. We lived in a neighborhood that wasn't good. We never got out of the house after dark and in daylight we always watched our steps. Gangs were in control. We had Los Lobos in ours, which in Spanish means the wolves. The wolves were always battling against another gang from another neighborhood. They were Italians and they were called Le Pantere, which means, the Panthers."
As she was completing her last sentence, his heart started beating irregularly, faster, but she was far away in the past to notice. And her own pulse started racing, too. She continued as if she was reciting a text she had memorized. Her voice became deeper and lower.
"One night, Daddy went out to fetch Mommy. She got late cleaning house and she was afraid to come back home alone. I was six then, and he left me with Granny, my daddy's mom, who also lived with us because she was old and had started to forget things. Besides, she had a small pension and that was a great help to us back then. A small apartment of two rooms and four people living in it. Even I remember that it was hard and I was just six.
"Around ten, we heard car brakes screaming and constant noise from far. It sounded... bang-bang-bang, like fireworks exploding one after the other. They were gun shots. Some members of the Panthers had gotten a car and had come to our territory. They were shooting at everything. Walls, doors, windows, pavements, everything. It's a good thing that people didn't walk outside at this hour. Only two did. My parents. And that's how th-they d-died."
Nickolas knew there was more. He felt very terrible, but he has to let her talk about it. To "tell" him about it, so she would not wonder why he knew.
"Who found them, Iliana?"
It took her a long time to answer, so long he thought she wouldn't say anything.
"I did." Her voice sounded more distant now. Like she has gotten right inside the most hidden part of her, and she has only her voice to show herself. "I heard the bangs and I rushed out of my bed and run to the door. I just had to see the fireworks and poor, poor granny was no match for me. I was so much faster than her, she couldn't stop me. I ran down the stairs and got out of the house and... they were lying on their backs on the pavement, just outside the house. They were still holding hands, because, you know, they were always holding hands when they were walking, like couples in the park across the street from school."
He understood now why she was so much calmer, so happy when he was holding her hand while walking. Why when he first held her hand, she looked at their linked fingers so quizzically, but didn't pull her hand away even when she was as skittish as a stray cat back then.
He couldn't almost hear anymore. It felt like his brain had exploded into millions of pieces.
But she continued in her monotone. "Daddy's face was covered with something and I couldn't see him. It was a red gluey thing, with other little white things in it, some soft and others harder. I tried to get it out of him, but it wouldn't come off. And my hands were full of it now...
"Mommy seemed like she was sleeping. But her blouse had two huge holes on it. Her beautiful white blouse, with the pink flowers! Her hand was moving up and down quickly, like she was waving at me. I giggled. I thought she was playing with me so I sat down beside her to tell her about the fireworks. She would smile at me like she would in the mornings when I would go to their bed and I squeeze myself between them and tickle them until they would wake up. But she wouldn't open her eyes. She had stopped moving. I thought she has gone back to sleep. I thought about tickling her, but I decided not to. So I sat there, holding her hand and waited. And then a policeman came. And he made me let go of her hand. And I don't remember what happened next." She paused. He felt like his chest was going to explode. "And I don't want to talk anymore now, thank you," she said in a very small voice, it sounded like a six years old. "Please don't make me speak anymore."
The sky was already light by then, and he was holding her so tight he thought she was going to protest. But she didn't. She didn't protest. She didn't make a sound.
When he looked, she was asleep, her beautiful face as innocent as a child's. He breathe deeply, slowly, then reached for the controller and pushed the button for the blinds. Slowly, the blinds on the open ceiling closed, as well as the blinds on the windows. And the whole room was bathed in shadows.
That's when his tears started falling from his eyes.
She found refuge in sleep. He knew that. After that night her parents were murdered, she just slept. She slept and had to be put in the hospital for sustenance because she wouldn't wake up. She would just sleep. For six months.
He felt like throwing up. Guilt returned and this time he let it torture him. A minor punishment for the horrible things he once let happen.
If he could, he would send Iliana away from him.
But he couldn't since death was all around her now.
Because of him.
Again.
~ ~ ~ ~
The End
~ ~ ~ ~
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Wrong Number
Finally! Devon thought as she sat down on the couch in her new apartment.
Moving was never easy, but she had done it so many times now that it was becoming somewhat of a routine. However, this time it was different. She wasn't going to be moving again in the near future, if ever. It had taken a while to save the money she needed, but now she had her very own book shop. Even better, her spacious apartment was right over the shop, which meant that she had everything she needed conveniently within reach.
The first order of business had been to get her belongings moved into the apartment. Tomorrow, Devon would begin unpacking boxes and stocking the shelves of her shop with the help of Janina, the girl she had hired to help her. Together, she hoped that they would be able to get most of it all done within a couple of days. She really wanted to have her grand opening by the end of the week. Saturdays were usually excellent days to hold them because people would be looking for something to do on the weekends.
Devon had planned it all out beautifully. She did her research and found that this tiny coastal town on the east coast would be the perfect location for her book shop. Crystal Cove was small enough to be quaint, but large enough that tourists visiting nearby beach resorts would be able to find it easily enough. In fact, tourism was a large part of the town's income. When she found Crystal Cove, it boasted one casual dining r
estaurant, one fine dining restaurant, a Victorian bed and breakfast as well as a small but elegant inn. There were other necessary businesses in town but there was no book shop. That's where Devon came in.
She was going to be selling all sorts of books. There would be sections for romances, mysteries, occult, research materials, and even a children's section. That was going to be set up as a story time area. Her favorite part, though, was in the back of the shop. That's where Devon would be offering Tarot readings in a private and specially decorated area. No one had to know that her information came from sources that had nothing to do with the Tarot. She had been playing that off for years so that people didn't become afraid of her and her abilities.
Well, Devon thought. I can't just sit here daydreaming. I've got to get busy. Her electricity, water, and landline phone were all turned on and she could now stay here. The movers were due to arrive in a few hours to bring in her furniture. One thing at a time, she thought. She got up and started to do some cleaning and measuring so that she would know where she could put what.