by Ward, Tamryn
“Monsters,” Mattie says, making a silly face.
“Seriously. Is this wall necessary? The terrorists have already breached the border. So what’s the point?” Up, up, up my gaze travels. As we come closer the wall looms more and more massive. “Look at it. It’s at least fifty feet tall.”
Mattie shrugs.
So does Roy. “My dad told me the agency started patrolling the perimeter a few years ago. So whatever the threat is, if it isn’t terrorists, it’s gotten worse recently.”
“Have any of you been outside?” Mattie asks.
I shake my head. So do Roy and Tom.
“I heard there’s just nothing but dry desert,” says Roy.
“If that’s the case,” I say, “what’s the use of a huge wall? There isn’t anything out there to protect us from anymore. The terrorists are in here already.”
“The wall was built to keep the desert people out,” Tom says.
“What desert people?” I ask. I’d never heard or read about any desert people. Who are they? Where did they come from?
“Yeah, they’re the people who tried to escape the war and ran into the polluted desert,” Tom tells us. “I heard they’re really ugly, with skin that looks like molten wax. They’re bald, with big heads and bulging eyes.” Tom opens his eyes really wide and makes a scary face.
Mattie laughs. “You’re so funny. There are no deformed desert people.”
“No, really,” Tom insists. “That’s what I heard. Something about people being exposed to toxic chemicals.”
“Chemicals from what?” I ask as we slowly creep closer to the wall.
Tom shrugs. “The war, I guess.”
“This way,” Jay motions for us to follow.
Flanked by Tom and Mattie, I follow the rest of our group. It’s reassuring having them at my side. I realize, suddenly, that I’ve become more reliant on them, closer to them, in just the few days we’ve been together than I have any friend in my life.
Maybe even Sam.
Shared pain. Shared struggle. Both have a way of bringing people together. Or pulling them apart.
My gaze locks on Henry’s back. He and Alice and another girl named Isabel are whispering, pointing, and snickering at the other recruits like a group of little children on the playground.
What the hell is their problem? We’re not kids anymore. We’ve graduated from school, old enough to go to war. But you wouldn’t know it if you saw those three.
Jay stops in front of a massive gate. Three guards, armed with guns, stand inside, facing us. “If you aren’t in the top three of your class, this is most likely where you will end up. There are some opportunities for advancement, but not many. As a wall guard, you’ll be patrolling outside the wall--”
“Patrolling for what? What dangers are out there?” Roy asks, winking at me and Mattie.
Yes, I would like to know that too. I would like to know if there are hordes of scarred, deformed desert people, just waiting for the chance to invade, or groups of terrorists who have been trying, and failing, to break through our defenses. Being ranked so low, I will be lucky to be a gate guard. I might totally fail training. I’m pretty close to failing already. And we haven’t gotten to the hardest part yet, the computer stuff.
Jay slides a glance at the guards. “Because I’ve never patrolled the wall, you’d have to ask one of them.”
The guards turn, as if on cue. One of them pulls on a massive lever and the other two operate the gigantic gate. As the huge gate swings open, a wide vee of inky blackness is revealed. Brilliant white orbs glow from just beyond the opening. It doesn’t take long to tell the orbs are coming closer. A low rumble cuts through the silent stillness.
Within seconds the sound is louder, coming closer, and then I am staring at the first motorized vehicle I have ever seen. It rattles and bumps up to the border, producing a squealing noise when it stops at the edge of the gate. Two people climb out of the vehicle. The guards approach one. The other, silhouetted by the brilliant lights behind him, moves toward us. I take a step back.
“Eva? Eva Pearson?” the person from the vehicle says. The person from outside knows my name? How?
I shade my eyes, trying to make out his features but the light blazing behind him is too bright.
“Eva, it’s me. Sam.” He comes closer and then I see. It is Sam.
Sam! The boy I used to chase in the corn fields, who I used to catch frogs with in the creek…who I had planned on marrying after graduation. Without any warning, he wraps his arms around me, giving me a hug. He whispers in my ear, “I thought I’d never see you again.”
To my surprise, I stiffen in his embrace, feeling awkward and unsure. I’m glad to see Sam. Right? Really happy to see him. To have this chance to…say goodbye. But those arms don’t feel the same. They don’t comfort me like they once did. They feel like the arms of a stranger.
Already?
Confused, I shuffle my feet.
I feel eyes on me. Everyone is watching. Including Mattie and Tom and Roy…and…and Jay. “What are you doing out there?” I ask as I try to step out of his embrace.
“I answered an ad for work. We hunt out here,” he explains. His eyes roam over me. He’s smiling. He’s happy to see me. Really happy.
But me…I’m not as happy as I thought I would be. As happy as I should be.
I can’t believe it’s Sam. My Sam. Out here. And yet…I’m not weeping with joy. “Hunt what?” I ask, trying to fill the awkward silence.
“Deer mostly. Elk. Bear, too.”
“Bear?” I repeat. I try to appear to be over-the-moon excited to see Sam, while not letting Mattie, Roy and the others see. “There are bears out there?”
“Yes. I’ve seen a few myself. There aren’t a lot of them. You know my parents lost their cattle this winter, and their farm was foreclosed right after you left. They couldn’t pay their taxes. I had to do something.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Or what I’m feeling. So much has changed. In such a short time. Sam isn’t the center of my life anymore. Our futures aren’t bound together like they once were. No. I see a different future now. Especially knowing the same thing could happen to my family if I don’t make it into the NDA. “Then you aren’t living in Riverview anymore?”
“No. We’re living on a hunters’ compound. It’s a little crowded, but it’s not too bad.”
I hadn’t heard about any hunters’ compounds before now. It seems there is a lot I didn’t know about the world inside the wall, too, not just outside.
Alice saunters up, laughing. “Oh, look! What’s this? A reunion? Isn’t that sweet?” She circles Sam. “Who is this, Eva? Your boyfriend?” she shouts, very loudly.
“Get lost,” I snap.
Alice grins. It isn’t a friendly smile. It’s a devious one that makes my teeth grit. “Young love. Isn’t it precious?”
Sam says, watching her, “She isn’t very nice. Are the others like her?”
“Some of them,” I admit. In truth, I don’t want him to know how great some of the people are. Like Jay.
Sam’s lips thin. He’s looking behind me. I wonder if he sees Jay. “You know, you don’t have to do this, Eva. There are other options.”
“Not for me, there aren’t. I was selected. It’s an honor being selected for the Elite. Besides, my family needs the money.”
“I’m sure they’re grateful for the money, but is this what you want, Eva?” He points at the group of recruits behind me. “Is this what’s best for you?”
What kind of question was that?
Who is this boy? I’m absolutely certain now that I’m not talking to the Sam I once knew and loved, the one who understood me. Who knew I would do anything for my family.
I am talking to a stranger.
Is he trying to suggest that forcing my family to leave everything they love to chase bears in the dangerous forest outside the wall is better than my working a great job, being well-paid, and sending money home to my family so they can stay in Rive
rview? “Of course it’s best for me. I love my family. They mean everything to me. And I’ll be doing important work. Very important. I’ll be defending our land against the terrorists who want to destroy everything we’ve worked so hard to achieve. I would never quit the agency. Quitting is weak.”
Sam shakes his head. “Weak, eh? Let me ask you this then: What’s more important, Eva, being strong or being happy?”
Another stupid question.
“I don’t think I could be happy if I wasn’t strong,” I tell him. “You’ve known me long enough. I shouldn’t have to explain that to you. Besides, there’s more to life than being happy.”
“Is there?” he challenges. Then he raises his hands, as if to concede. “I don’t want to argue. It was good to see you again. Maybe some time you can visit me. My parents would love to see you too. We’re living just a few miles that way,” he points down the road. “You can’t miss the compound.”
“Sure. I’ll visit,” I lie. “Soon.”
He glances over his shoulder. “Looks like we’ve been cleared to pass through. I’d better be going.”
“Yeah.” I toss him a wave and watch him return to his vehicle. It rumbles and bumps and squeaks down the road, heading toward the hunter’s compound.
Jay steps up to me. “Do you know him?”
“Kind of. He’s an old friend.”
“I can see you’re the kind who doesn’t make the wisest choices,” he says.
I’m puzzled. “What do you mean?”
“Did you forget the contract you signed? You aren’t permitted to contact anyone outside the agency while you are in training. You are not allowed speak with anyone. Or write to write to anyone. Not at any time.” He leans closer and whispers, “Be careful, Eva. Very careful.” Then, stepping back, he motions to the gate and continues his lecture about gate guards.
All I hear are those whispered words, be careful.
Very careful.
And I watch the guards lock the gate. One steps outside and the others shut it. I hear the lock engage.
The lock.
Is it…on the outside or inside?
Are they keeping something (or someone) out? Or in?
Chapter 15
I round a blind corner. We’re in a patch of thick woods. It’s very dark, thin slivers of moonlight cutting through the dense canopy overhead. I have fallen behind the others, thanks to the pain screaming through my body. I follow the sound of their footsteps, pounding on the earth. I don’t even care that they’re getting farther and farther ahead. I can’t do any more. I can’t run any faster. It’s taking everything in me to put one foot in front of the other. Even Mattie has left me behind—at my insistence. She didn’t want to.
“How are you doing, Eva?” someone asks after he jumps out from nowhere and scares the shit out of me. I see spots before my eyes. Lots of them.
Gasping, and ready to fall over, I wrap an arm around my stomach and reach for something to steady myself. I find a tree. At least, I think it’s a tree. I can’t see it, but I can feel it. It’s big. And strong. Then again, it could be Jay. I think it’s his voice. “That wasn’t nice, leaping out of nowhere like that.”
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” He moves closer. Yes, it’s Jay. His nearness makes me more breathless and dizzy. But at least I know now that I’m not using him to prop myself upright. The tree didn’t move. “When I didn’t see you following, I got…I thought I’d better double back and check on you.”
My knees are about to buckle. I lean against the tree. It’s much more stable than I am. I focus on breathing, pulling in slow, deep breaths. “I’m fine.”
He steps into a puddle of silver moonlight. “No, you’re not.” He looks absolutely ethereal, ghostly and beautiful.
“Yes, I am. I’m absolutely fine.”
He blinks at me. Because of the light from above, I can read what those blinks mean. They say, you’re a liar. You’re a really bad liar.
I amend my response, “Well, I was fine until you scared the crap out of me.”
“You’re hurt,” he states the obvious.
I’m hurt. No kidding? Something inside me snaps. Irritation blazes through me. It’s a strange time to bring this up. Now. Why didn’t he do something about it before? Why didn’t he stop it when he had the chance? His actions toward me confound me. I don’t understand them. I don’t understand him. And I don’t understand my feelings for him, either. “Yes, I’m hurt,” I grumble. “I had the shit beat out of me yesterday. While you and that bastard, George, stood there and watched. Neither of you stopped it. You just let it happen. Why? Why would you let that happen? And then, after you see me have a one-minute conversation with an old friend, you have the gall to warn me that I need to be careful? What is that supposed to mean?”
He lunges forward, catching me by surprise. I flinch, and clamp my eyes shut, expecting pain. But instead of striking me, he cups my face in his hands. “Look at me, Eva.”
I open my eyes.
He’s staring at me. Staring hard. Staring like he’s trying to say something with his eyes.
My body responds, even while my brain melts. I warm all over. I tingle all over. My knees go soft and the air thins.
He pulls my face, coaxing me closer. His breath warms my cheeks. Its sweet scent teases my nose. An electrical charge buzzes through my body. “I didn’t just stand there. I couldn’t just stand there.”
“You did. I saw you.”
He shakes his head. “No. I left.”
“Oh, that’s even better,” I whisper, my head spinning. It’s hard to think with his mouth so close to mine. “You were so bored you couldn’t even stick around.”
“No!” He jerks his hands away, and I nearly fall. I stumble, catching myself by thrusting my hand out and bracing my arm against his chest. As soon as my footing is sure, though, I yank it back.
“Dammit.” His lips thin. Why is he angry with me? I didn’t just admit to not caring that one of my students was beaten mercilessly by a guy twice her size. “Let’s go. The others are waiting.” He loops an arm around my waist and starts to drag me down the street, but I elbow him in his side. As hard as I can. He makes a loud oof sound and releases me. One of his hands smack over the spot where I’d struck him. “Now, that’s what you need to do when you fight. Get in the first blow. Use your elbows and knees, and don’t stop. You’re fast. You can get in at least a few good shots. That’s your best defense.”
“Gee, thanks.” I roll my eyes. Really? Does he expect that advice to be helpful against a guy like Henry? I know my little elbow pokes don’t slow him down. “I’ll try to remember that next time I fight Goliath.”
* * * * *
The next morning I wake in my bunk with a smile on my face, despite the fact that I hurt everywhere. My toes. My eyelids. My fingers. There isn’t a muscle in my body that isn’t sore.
But my dreams last night of my parents hugging me, thanking me for sacrificing my future for them, urge me on. I crawl out of bed and hit the floor hard. The dull thud echoes through the empty room but nobody hears it but me. Everyone else has left for breakfast.
I wince as I pull on clean clothes and trudge to the training room. I hope we will do something different today. I can’t run. I can’t fight. I can barely move a finger, let alone throw a punch.
Skipping breakfast, I’m the first to the training room. Yet again a list is posted on the wall. Just my luck. My name is first. I will have to fight. Next to my name is Helen’s.
At least there’s some hope I won’t be carried out on a stretcher this morning.
The others straggle in one at a time. Alice is first. Her mouth is twisted into a cruel sneer. Behind her are Henry and Isabel. Then Fran, Tom and a quiet boy named Keith. When Helen enters, her gaze goes straight to the list. Then she looks at me. I can tell she isn’t scared. She isn’t afraid of me, and she’s probably the worst fighter among us. What does that say about me?
That I don’t belong here. That I
don’t stand a chance of making it through training.
Jay strides in shortly after Helen and refreshes our memory about the basic fighting moves we learned and some strategies we should use if we’re unfairly matched. While he’s talking to us, George ambles in, his eyes as cold as ever and his expression completely bored. He points at the posted list and calls out the names of the first two fighters.
I wobble and wince out to the middle of the ring and face my opponent. Helen raises her hands to shield her face. Jay’s words echo through my head. Get in the first blow. Use your elbows and knees, and don’t stop.
I slam her in the stomach first and she doubles over. A quick knee to the chin sends her to the floor. She’s too dizzy to get up, so I’m called the winner.
I’ve won. The victory leaves me feeling as empty as George’s eyes.
I glance at Jay. He looks indifferent as he watches the next two fighters, Keith and Roy. Keith wins, but it’s a close fight and Roy loses consciousness for only a brief second. The third pair is Fran and Isabel. Isabel wins and lunch is called. As I head for the door, Roy catches my hand and gives it a squeeze. He smiles and whispers, “I’m glad you weren’t hurt.”
We stop in the corridor. It’s empty, except for us. “Me too,” I admit. A part of me feels really crappy though, for being glad it was Helen instead of me this time. I’m not sure I like what this training is doing to me. It’s stripping away my empathy. My humanity. And yet, isn’t that what it should be doing? Turning me into a fighter. A soldier.
A survivor.
Roy opens his mouth, as if to say something then shuts it.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I’m just…not sure I belong here. I’m not sure I ever belonged here. I’ve lost both matches I’ve fought. I can’t run for shit. It’s…not what I thought it would be.”
“You’re not that slow, and you’re strong. But I admit, this isn’t what I was expecting either,” I say. “Forcing us to beat each other until we’re unconscious? What does that teach us?”
“Nothing,” he says.
“Nothing but cruelty.”
“Yes, cruelty,” he agrees with a nod. “They’re turning us into cold-blooded merciless warriors. I thought we were supposed to be training to protect our citizens, not pound their faces in. Protect. Serve.”