by Ward, Tamryn
Tick.
Tock.
Tick.
Tock.
Henry is watching me. There are no curtains separating the beds. He can see and hear everything that I do and say. There’s absolutely no way I can tell anyone here the truth. So, when the doctor finally arrives, I tell him a safe version, emitting my knowledge of my attacker’s identity. The doctor checks my neck, takes some notes and then tells me I should stay in the infirmary until the guilty party is caught. He tells me he is certain my attacker will be apprehended tonight.
I would love to tell him he’s wrong.
To his surprise, I opt to leave. I walk slightly steadier now, thanks to some time having passed and my adrenaline levels returning to semi-normal. I don’t look at Henry as I pass his bed. I know he will try to intimidate me. Instead of returning to my room, though, I head toward the other wing, where Jay’s apartment is. He hasn’t told me exactly where he lives, but I know where the trainers live. That much is common knowledge. Hoping for some dumb luck or divine intervention, I go down his hall.
It’s empty. And silent. Exactly what I would expect at this time of night. If I didn’t need to talk to him so desperately, I would go find somewhere to rest for the night. Tomorrow is a big day. And I know I’m going to need to be alert if I’m going to survive. But I’m going to need a safe place if I’m going to make it to training tomorrow.
Moving as quietly as possible, I creep down the hall, trying to listen through the walls. If only I could hear his voice. I would recognize it immediately. I count the doors as I walk. One, two, three…eight, nine, ten. There are ten in this hall. I have a one-in-ten chance of getting the right one if I knock. Do I dare?
I lift my hand to knock.
The door swings in.
I picked the right one. On the first try. I can’t believe it. Neither can I believe Jay opened without me knocking. “What are you doing here?” he checks left, right then yanks me inside and shuts the door. The lock clicks in place.
“I was attacked tonight.” I point to my throat.
He squints. The lights are off, except somewhere deeper in his apartment. There are more shadows than light. He won’t see the red mark on my throat. “I heard several people were attacked tonight. There’s a massive manhunt going on right now. You shouldn’t be out wandering by yourself. You could be attacked again. You weren’t very quiet.”
“The thing is I know who did it,” I whisper. “And I know where he is right now.”
“Who?”
“Henry,” I tell him.
“Henry?” He doesn’t believe me. I hear the disbelief in his voice. “He’s in the infirmary. He was attacked too.”
“Yes, I know, but—”
“The report came through a couple of hours ago.” Jay looks at the clock tic-tocking on his wall. “Before midnight. As far as I know, Henry has been in the infirmary since then. When were you attacked?”
“About one-thirty, maybe a few minutes earlier. But he must have snuck out of the infirmary. It was Henry. I know it.”
“No, it couldn’t have been him.”
Dammit, Jay doesn’t believe me. If he won’t, no one will. I’m screwed. “But I know it was Henry. He snuck out of the infirmary somehow.”
Jay purses his lips as he studies me for a moment. “That’s possible, I suppose, but not likely. All patients are under observation while they’re in the infirmary.”
“Sure, but is someone watching them constantly?”
“No, but—“
“He snuck out. Henry attacked me. I know it was him. He spoke to me. He told me to leave. Now. Tonight. Or I’ll die.” I grab Jay’s arm and squeeze. I need him to believe me. I need him to help me. “He wants me out, before we start phase three. He’s mad that I’m ranked first.”
“That’s a very serious accusation.” Jay looks down at my fingers, gripping his arms. I look at them too. My fingernails are white because I’m holding him so hard. “Are you sure?”
“Yes. Positive. He spoke to me. During the attack. He told me to leave or I wouldn’t live until tomorrow. I recognized his voice.”
“Did you see him?”
“Well, no, I didn’t see him,” I admitted, reluctantly. “It was dark, and the light from the hallway was behind him. But I’m positive it was him. I went to the infirmary to report the attack. When I saw him there, he smiled and motioned with his hand on his throat. I think he faked his own attack to give himself an alibi.”
Jay rakes his fingers through his hair. “This is a tough one. It’s going to be hard to prove.”
He didn’t have to point out the obvious.
“What should I do? I can’t leave training now. I’m so close to the end, and I’m ranked first. My family needs this. But I’m his partner for stage three.”
Jay didn’t respond right away. “That should actually work in your favor. He won’t pass if you don’t. That’s probably why he tried to scare you off tonight. It was his last chance.”
I want to believe him. I really do. But a nagging fear remains. And I can’t shake it so easily. “I wish I could be sure.”
“Look,” He grips my arms and stares into my eyes. He isn’t afraid for me. If that’s the case, shouldn’t I be going into this worry-free? “I wanted you to leave. I wanted to keep you safe. But you were determined to stay.” Nothing like telling me it’s my fault. “And you stayed. You rose to the top of your class. You proved me wrong, along with everyone else who underestimated you.”
“So you didn’t have anything to do with my rank?” I ask. I need to know. I hope he’ll tell me the truth if he did make an adjustment or two.
“No. I would never give an initiate a rank boost that wasn’t earned. It was you, Eva. You did that for yourself.”
I believe him. “That’s not what Henry thinks,” I say. “Or Alice. Or all the other trainees.”
“I know. George told me what they think. He’s suspicious too.”
“Are you in trouble?”
“No, not at this point. It’s clear from your test scores why you’re first. Now you have to prove to Henry and the other recruits why you deserve to be first. Let him see you aren’t a scared little rabbit that runs the second he makes some noise. Knowing Henry’s kind, he’ll play by the rules tomorrow. He won’t want to risk losing.”
What Jay says makes sense. It’s perfectly logical. Logical but terrifying. By going through with phase three, I’m trusting Henry to act a certain way, to put greed and ambition above his need for revenge. If I don’t leave, he will have to face two possible outcomes, neither of them perfect. Either he will hurt or kill me, thereby failing the test, or he will be forced to work with me and come in second overall.
Can I trust him? Can I stomach spending as many as three days alone in the wilderness with a man who has tried to kill me?
God, I don’t want to!
Jay pulls me to him, wraps his strong arms around me and runs a hand down my back. It feels so good being in his arms. So right. I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to go anywhere. Not back to my room. And certainly not out on a dangerous mission with a man I know I can’t trust.
“Eva,” Jay whispers. He tilts my chin. “I respect you. You’re not the scared, delicate little creature I thought you were. And that’s why I know you’re going to be all right. Do it. You have to. You need to prove to yourself that you’re as capable as anyone, even Henry.”
“I do believe that,” I say without conviction.
His lips curl up at the corners. “No, you don’t. Because if you did you wouldn’t have come to me. You would’ve decided to handle this on your own tomorrow. Out there. Just you and Henry.”
He was right.
About everything.
He tips his head and focuses on my mouth. I know what’s coming. And I am thrilled. His kiss makes me forget about everything for a few short moments. And I am so glad for that. It makes me feel powerful and cherished and important. And I don’t want it to end. But when it doe
s, I am ready to face Henry. I am ready to face phase three.
And I am ready to kick both their asses.
Chapter 25
At exactly five A.M. I stand at the door, packed up and ready for the final, and most dangerous, phase of training. All the trainees are armed with a knife, a canteen, a rope, a pair of binoculars, some matches, one flare, and a few rations of food. The rules of the exercise are explained to us one last time and then each team is blindfolded for transport. We will not know where we were taken. Nor will we know where the other teams were located either. All of us are warned that anyone who goes beyond the marked perimeter will be immediately eliminated from the program. The goal: To disable the members of the other teams and return to home base first.
This was it. Either Henry and I would win, as a team, or we would lose.
Based on the look he is giving me, I’m not convinced the former is a given.
But I’m not afraid.
I can handle him.
* * * * *
Four hours later I’m alone with Henry. Somewhere out in the wilderness. And he isn’t happy about it. Clearly he’d expected me to run away last night, like a spineless coward.
He shouldn’t have.
“I gave you a chance,” he grumbles, as we stomp through the forest, looking for a safe place to hide from the other teams. “You could have made this easy on yourself. All you had to do was leave. I don’t get it. Why would you want to stay? You’re not cut out for this.” Stopping at the bed of a stream, he motions around him. “The danger. The pain. You should be living on a farm, chasing around a brood of chickens and a pack of kids.”
“Sexist much?” I scoff.
“Call it want you want. Girls are not meant to be out here, in battle.”
“I’m not the only ‘girl’ out here,” I point out. And then, vaguely recalling a book I’d read ages ago, I inform him, “In some cultures the women are the warriors and the men stay home and chase the kids.”
Clearly he hadn’t read the same books I had. Most likely he hadn’t read any. “What cultures? I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
Of course he had to ask that. And could I remember the names of those civilizations now, while I was stressed out? No. Of course not. “There’s…a tribe in…Africa,” I lie, “They were discovered before the Great Decimation. Called the…Amazonia. Their entire religious system, political hierarchy and economy are controlled by women. I’m willing to bet they’re still out there.”
He looks left, right, probably searching for a way to cross the stream. “You’re lying. I’ve never heard of the Amazonia.”
I see a way across--unlike my partner. “Is that how you handle everything you don’t like? Call people liars? Cheaters?” I kick a fallen tree that happens to be wedged against another tree. The log drops, the far end landing on the opposite bank of the stream. I easily walk the length and hop down. “The Amazonia tribe is as real as me.”
“And as irrelevant,” he says as he tries to push ahead of me to take the lead.
“Irrelevant?” I shoot back, elbowing him in the gut. “I’m the top ranked trainee in our class.”
He grabs my arm and yanks. I spin around, facing a smiling partner with a strong, angry grip. His expression, paired with the vice-like way he’s holding my arm tells me I shouldn’t turn my back on him until we’re safely back at base. His words, “Not for long,” reinforce the message.
But I’m not going to let him intimidate me. “You realize if I don’t return with you, for any reason, you won’t pass this exercise either. If I fail, we both fail.”
“Yes, I know that.”
“So, if you think you can shove me out of a tree and call it an accident, you can’t.”
“I’m aware of that, thank you.” He scowls as he searches our surroundings. “Now, will you shut the hell up? All your noise is going to get us caught.” He has no idea where to go next.
I decide I’m not going to wait for him to make a choice. I push through some brush. “You are the biggest asshole I’ve ever met.”
He follows. “I’ll take that as a compliment, coming from you.”
I stop and turn to face him.
This sucks. For so many reasons. I want to put an end to it. Maybe I’m delusional thinking I can. But I can’t help it. I’m ready to face his hostility head-on. If we can (by some miracle) get past this, maybe the rest of the time won’t be so hellish. “You know why you despise me so much?” I ask.
“No, why don’t you tell me?” He crosses his arms over his chest and sneers.
“Because I scare you.”
He rolls his eyes. “That’s funny. Really funny. Hilarious.”
“Is it?”
“Yes.” He makes a sound that is supposed to be laughter. “See, I’m laughing my ass off. I’m not scared of you, or anyone, for that matter.”
I state the obvious, “You’re lying.”
His face turns the shade of a ripe apple. “If anyone can identify a liar, it would be you, since you lie so much. Is there anyone you don’t lie to? Your parents? Your friends? What about your lover, Jay? Do you lie to him, too?”
Now it’s my turn to get a red face. I can feel my cheeks heating. Maybe Henry can’t kill me. Maybe he can’t maim me. But he can still hurt me. And those words do hurt. “You sound like a two-year-old.”
He knows he’s drawn blood. “Ah, did I strike a nerve?”
“No.” I try to pretend like my face isn’t flaming from guilt and embarrassment. I’ve been caught before in lies. By my mother. And I felt horrible. I’ll never forget the first time I was caught. Regardless, I’ve found myself lying again and again. As much as I want to stop, I can’t seem to.
“So, what did you say to get Jay to put you at the top of the ranks? Did you concoct some woe-is-me story to make him feel sorry for you?”
“Of course not.”
“Huh. Maybe you sucked his dick, then?” He steps closer and leers at me. “You must be damn good at it, to get such a huge boost. I bet you swallow, like a good girl.” He grabs my chin, and my blood turns to ice. “Don’t you, Eva?”
I inhale. I exhale. I inhale again and I spit. In his ugly, cruel face. “I didn’t suck or swallow anything.”
“Sure. Right,” he says as he rolls his eyes and drags the back of his hand across his cheek. “You just happened to earn that boost. Because you’re so badass you deserve it.”
“Yes, I am.” I feel a little badass right now, after standing up to this goon.
“I’m not an idiot.” Surging forward suddenly, he slams me. I sail backward until a tree stops me. He cages my head between his arms, hands planted against the tree trunk. The bark scrapes my skin, and I can already feel a bruise forming on my back, but that pain is nothing compared to the agony I feel at being pinned in place by this asshole. I want to puke.
“Back off,” I tell him, my voice low, almost a growl.
“Or what? You’ll knee me in the balls? I’m ready for that, princess. And anything else you might throw my way.” His gaze rakes up and down my body. I hate everything about this guy. The way he smells. The way his voice sounds. The ice-cold color of his eyes.
I try an elbow to the jaw, but he’s too close. I hit his side, but I lack leverage to hit him hard enough.
“See? You’re not badass. You’re weak. Soft. You are in the wrong place, darlin’. You should be at home, cooking your man some food, not out here, trying to play with the big boys.”
“Fuck you.” I spit at him again.
“Huh.” He shakes his head, wipes his face. “Looks like someone needs to teach you some manners, along with your place.”
Before he can try, I swing a hand, aimed for his smug face. He catches my wrist and pins it over my head, against the tree. I have one arm left. And two legs. But Henry is stronger than me. I’m going to have to outsmart him.
“You know what?” with his free hand, he starts clawing at my clothes. Buttons pop. Fabric tears. “I’m going to have to tea
ch you a lesson. It’s going to be a painful one, if you’re still a virgin, which I doubt. When I’m through you’ll thank me. It’ll save your life.” He rips my bra, uncovering one breast. My blood boils, I’m so furious. I kick one knee up then the other, but all I hit is thigh. I bang my head forward, smacking it against a chest as hard as concrete. The impact makes me see stars. He pinches my nipple, and I bite my lip, determined not to cry out. The bastard is not going to get away with this. I have to stop him.
“You’re not so tough when you don’t have your friends to protect you.” He shoves his hand down my pants and I shut my eyes, determined not to let the tears burning them leak out. He is trying to destroy my spirit, to obliterate it. I won’t let that happen, no matter what.
But how do I stop him? How? I’m not stronger.
Must be smarter. It’s my only hope.
Think! Think!
What is more important to him than making me suffer?
I whisper, “There’s someone coming.”
His fingers shove into me, invading tissues that have never been touched by a boy before. It hurts so badly. I want to scream, but I don’t.
“Henry, are you really going to let them win, just so you can do this?”
“Nobody’s here. You’re lying.” He rams his fingers in a second time. I bite my lip as a scream of fury blazes up my throat.
A nearby squirrel scampers through a pile of fallen leaves. It’s loud enough to hopefully make him think I’m telling the truth. All I need is one second. Only one. “Are you sure? Listen.” The squirrel skitters again, making the leaves crackle and crunch.
He glances over his shoulder, and I slam my palm into his nose. Got him! Yes! He claps his hand over his face. Taking advantage of the fact that he is blinded by tears, I jam a knee up, striking him right between the legs. He doubles over. A weird strangled sound fills the air.
“If you touch me again, I’ll make sure you lose,” I whisper in his ear. “I’ll let them think you killed me. And I won’t come back until your sorry ass has been either arrested or thrown out.”
Still stooped over, he produces another inhuman sound. He’s hurting. But he deserves every second of agony he gets. Bastard. For all the terrible things he’s done. To me. To Paul. And to Tom.