by Jasmin Quinn
And the other incongruity that tugged at him was the woman in the other room. It was like they, whoever the hell they were, knew that she would be exactly the right woman to insert into his life. It was a risk though, someone like her wouldn’t typically grab his interest. Too young, too innocent (feigned or otherwise), even if she was breathtakingly beautiful. He started getting hard as his mind explored her gentle curves, touched her breasts, tasted her sweetness. His grimaced, and turned on his side, trying to banish the thoughts. She strolled right through his defences, captivated him from the moment he saw her. She couldn’t be that perfect. She couldn’t be exactly what he wanted. Someone must have coached her. Maybe Kelsie… maybe her boss.
His brain was heavy and dull, full of cobwebs. He needed sleep so he could think rationally. He was getting paranoid, shifting from distrust to lust and back to distrust. When she was near him, all he could think about was her, taking her, fucking her, keeping her. When he was alone, the questions and suspicion flooded his brain. He wanted to believe her, he wanted this to not be some elaborate setup. That would tear him apart. As he finally drifted off, his last thought was how vulnerable he was. He hoped she wouldn’t stab him in his sleep. He should have tied her up.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Nika sat up suddenly, Finn standing over her, his hand on her shoulder, shaking it gently. “What time is it?” she mumbled, blinking to chase the sleep from her eyes. She looked around remembering that she was at the cabin. And Finn, who had been sleeping, was now awake in front her, shirtless. She bit her lip as she reluctantly drew her gaze up from his chest to his face. “Aren’t you cold, Finn?”
“Yes,” he growled at her. “Why didn’t you keep the fire burning?”
What a contrary man, Nika thought irritably, despite the tremor in her chest and the heat in her belly. “You didn’t tell me to keep the fire burning.”
“That’s common sense, Nika,” he snapped as he started resetting the fire, blowing on the embers.
Nika didn’t like his tone, but almost lost her voice as she looked at his strong broad back, the muscles rippling as he tried to coax a flame. She inhaled deeply to shake off her longing, such a fine line between lust and anger. “You have to decide, Finn. Am I a child or am I full-grown woman? Because you are treating me like a child. And I am unaccustomed to that kind of treatment – everyone else treats me like I am a woman. But you keep telling me what to do and what not to do. To the point that I don’t know what I should or should not do.”
Finn had his back to her, squatting in front of the fire, lighting more kindling, watching as it flared up. But she knew he’d heard every word she said. She could see it in the stiffness of his shoulders and back, the growing tension in his muscles. She stopped talking, waited for him to respond. As the log caught, he stood and turned to her, his eyes dark and stony. “Is that what you think this is about, Nika?” he snapped. “Do you think this a fucking honeymoon? That we’re up here on vacation?”
“Of course not!” Tears jumped into Nika’s eyes at his sudden anger, his raised voice. She didn’t want to cry, didn’t think that would be to her advantage. Did women even cry when they were having a fight? Girls did for sure, and she wanted him to stop treating her like a child. She decided she could not cry. “I think you are a stubborn, obstinate man… and mean!”
Finn sucked in his breath, clearly not expecting her counter-attack. “You picked me, Nika! There were other things you could have done, like go to the police.”
“I did!” Nika exclaimed in exasperation, not understanding.
“Not me, Nika. I’m a fucking cop, I’m not the police.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and paced in front of the fireplace. “Why the hell didn’t you just call your boss, tell him you were trouble? Tell him to come and get you?”
“No, it doesn’t work that way.” She was feeling cornered.
“Of course, it doesn’t,” Finn muttered, clearly frustrated.
“Let me finish!” Nika snapped, her anger growing in tandem with his. “I cannot ever call him directly – I am not allowed. I don’t know his number to call him. I don’t know any of the numbers.”
“Why the hell not?”
A tear slid down Nika’s cheek. She swiped at it angrily. “It is a protocol. You know about protocols, don’t you Finn? It mitigates risk.” She bit off each word, as if she were talking to an idiot.
“Are you really that stupid, Nika?”
Nika was outraged at his insult. “I am not stupid at all, Finn!”
“You’re telling me that you walked away from wherever the fuck you come from and just got on a plane to Vancouver without any means of contacting someone?”
“I had my phone, Mr. Jackman could call me.” And then she clamped her mouth shut realizing she had just let slip the name of her employer. She could tell by the flash of triumph in his eyes, that Finn also caught it.
“And did he? Did your Mr. Jackman call you?”
Nika dropped her eyes to her hands, her anger shrinking under his interrogation. She nodded, “Yes. He called me and told me to come back immediately. He was angry. He made me afraid to come back.”
“Why afraid, Nika? Does he beat you?” Finn’s voice softened slightly.
“No.”
“Lock you up? Terrorize you? Yell and threaten you?”
Nika looked up at him, startled, defensive of Mr. Jackman. “No, Finn, of course not. He has always treated me well.”
Finn snorted, “Then I don’t buy it, Nika, if that’s your real name.” He stalked into the kitchen, slamming open cabinets. Nika trailed after him but kept the breakfast bar between them.
“Of course, it is my real name. Finn! I don’t understand why you are angry at me again.”
“I’m a cop, Nika. I have been for almost 10 years. A pretty woman pops out from behind my Jeep and convinces me she’s in trouble. And me, I fall for it like a 14 year-old-boy jerking off to a Sears catalogue. I don’t know who the fuck you are or what you want from me.” He found what he was looking for as he pulled a bottle of scotch from a shelf, then slammed the cabinet door. Nika jumped.
He filled a small tumbler half-full of scotch, downing it all at once, then poured another generous shot, swirled it around in the glass as he looked at her. “Why did you come to me, Nika? On the ferry?” His eyes were filled with suspicion, the set of his mouth betraying his hurt.
Nika exhaled, trying to steady her growing anxiety. Perhaps she was as stupid as Finn accused her. After all, who was he? A cop that Kelsie Scott said she could trust. A chill swept through her as she thought of Kelsie Scott. Did the woman manipulate her, take advantage of her lack of worldliness? How easily she fell into Kelsie’s trap, her talk of Vancouver, all the things a girl could do. Maybe Kelsie had manipulated Dean too. She was beautiful and charming and the daughter of Randall Scott, who was an ally of Rusya’s. Maybe Finn was Kelsie’s lover, maybe Kelsie’s baby was not Dean’s at all, maybe Finn was working for Randall Scott. And he was keeping her safe from the Russians so that he could turn her over to Randall.
She watched Finn warily as he emptied his glass and poured himself another scotch. She needed to calm herself, try to think rationally. She’d let Finn take her here, bully her into coming with him to this cabin. She had no idea where she was. She was essentially trapped – even if she somehow incapacitated him, she couldn’t drive out. She didn’t know how to drive. And she couldn’t walk out in the snow and the cold. She didn’t have the right winter gear, didn’t have the stamina to walk through the deep snow. And to where anyway? By the time she got her bearings, she would be frozen to death. She could see only two ways out. She had to manipulate Finn into taking her back to Port Neill or she had to find out if Finn was who he said he was.
But what could she say? How could she know who he was for certain? “Because… because…” she stuttered, deciding how to approach this, not sure if she should bring Kelsie’s name up again. But the truth was the truth. “Kelsie said t
hat you were a good man, that you could help me if I was in trouble.”
Finn glared at her as he walked past her into the bedroom. She followed him, watching as he dragged on his gray sweatshirt and socks. “Who the fuck does Kelsie Scott think I am? I risked my job for her and her thanks is to send me another fucking charity case?”
Nika sucked in her breath as his angry words stabbed at her. “I am not a fucking charity case.” Her tongue rolled over fucking, a word she’d heard a lot but never used.
Finn brushed by her, picked his scotch up off the counter where he’d left it and took another long pull. “Then what are you Nika? Why are you here?”
“Because you brought me here.” Nika trailed after him, keeping distance between them.
Finn slammed his glass on the counter and stalked up to her, grabbing her by her arms and propelling her backwards until she was at the edge of the room. He slammed her up against the wall, looming over her, his face a mask of outrage. Nika trembled under his fury, her legs barely keeping her upright. He was too close, his strength too much, and she had no means of escape. “Don’t play fucking games, Nika. You know exactly what I mean.” Finn roared.
She didn’t know what he meant, but maybe she did know what he meant. He was confusing her with his questions, with his rage. She couldn’t think fast enough; her fear was making her brain sluggish. She shook her head slightly, staring into his dark eyes. “I don’t, Finn. I don’t understand.”
Finn inhaled deeply, then exhaled. Calming himself, but not loosening his hold on her. “Are you here to insinuate yourself into my life? A plant, a spy?”
Nika gasped as understanding dawned. He thought she was here to manipulate him. If the situation wasn’t so tense, she might have laughed out loud at the irony. She gave a small shake of her head. “I am not Finn. I promise you that.”
Finn shook her just a little, his fingers still gripping her arms, bruising her. “Why should I believe you?”
“Why should you not?” Tears sprang to Nika’s eyes. She tried to blink them back.
“Because you haven’t told me a goddamned thing about who you are or why you’re here. You seem to find a way to side step the discussion every time I raise it. The burden of proof is on your side. You think I should just blindly believe you? Is that what you think?”
Nika’s tears started falling, but they didn’t seem to sway Finn. In fact, they seemed to make him angrier, as if he thought that her crying was another manipulation. He shoved her hard against the wall and then snapped his hands off her, freeing her, and stalked over to his scotch. “Stop your fucking crying, Mata Hari,” he grunted.
Nika slid down to the floor, knees bent in front of her, hands pressed against her temples, her fingers clutching her hair. She looked at him through her tears, bewildered. “My name is not Mata Hari, I promise you, Finn. It’s Nika Petrova.” She sat with her back rigidly against the wall. She was afraid to move.
He gaped at her in disbelief, then drained the scotch from his glass and slammed the glass back down on the counter. He stalked to the door and pulled on his coat and shoes. An icy dread snaked through Nika. “Where are you going, Finn?” she asked shakily.
He stopped, looking down at the keys in his hands. “I need to get out of here, Nika. Away from you.”
“Finn, no!” Nika cried, scrambling to her feet as Finn slammed out of the door towards his truck. Nika raced after him in her bare feet, oblivious to the cold. “No, please Finn, don’t leave me! Please don’t leave!” She scrabbled at his arm, trying to grip it and pull him back, to her, to the cabin.
“Nika,” he growled yanking his arm out of her grasp. “Get back inside!”
“Please, Finn, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know,” she sobbed. “I’ll do whatever you ask.”
He stopped dead as her words fell out of her mouth. He took her chin in his hand, yanking her face up so she had to look directly in his eyes. “Anything, Nika? Is this how they train you in seduction?”
“Finn.” She was still weeping, her hot tears stinging her cold cheeks. “That’s not what…” Her words died on her lips. Was he truly that cruel? That he would demand that she be with him, that he would take from her what she would have freely given him an hour ago?
He cocked his head. “It’s not?” Finn grabbed her by the arm and hauled her back inside the cabin, throwing her from him. She stumbled, her wet feet sliding, and fell hard onto the floor.
But her panic was too much, and she barely registered the bolt of pain in her hip. She started to scramble up. “Finn –”
“Stay down, Nika!” he ordered. “And stay the fuck inside.”
Openly weeping, she pulled herself onto her knees so she could see him. “Are you coming back?” She couldn’t stop shaking from the cold, from his abandonment.
Finn didn’t answer, didn’t lessen her distress. Instead, he stomped back out of the house, slamming the door behind him. Nika heard the Jeep start, the crunch of snow under tires, and then silence, except for her sobbing and the scornful crackle of the fire.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Finn pressed his foot on the gas pedal, revelled in the tires spinning, the Jeep fishtailing as he drove away from the cabin. It matched his mood – angry and out of control. He knew he was driving too fast for the road conditions, but it was a fucking great way to blow off his anger. He couldn’t be with Nika right now, too many emotions overwhelming him – fury, distrust, lust. All she had do when he berated her for letting the fire die, was to say sorry. But she thought it would be better to argue with him, the ungrateful little twig.
As he put distance between himself and Nika, he started to calm down, his rage giving way to a persistent fusion of guilt, sadness and hurt. This was not him, not who he was. What the fuck was she doing to him? Christ, he had been close to hitting her, he was so angry. She was so spare with her words, playing dumb, pretending she didn’t understand. He could see the keen intelligence in her eyes, hear it in when she spoke. And yet, she seemed genuinely naive at the same time. If it was an act, it was a bloody good one – who the hell could fake that?
As the intersection to the highway appeared, he pulled his truck off to the side of the road, keeping it running for warmth. The sky was bleak, shrouded in grey uninviting clouds. Darkness was fast encroaching on the day, promises of a snow storm in the increasing wind. Finn berated himself for his treatment of her. Not something he’d ever done to any woman in his lifetime. He knew who he was, strong, hard, and these days, angry and quick-tempered. But he had never touched a woman in anger, at least before today.
He didn’t need a shrink to tell him why he lost control. He wanted Nika, wanted to possess her, keep her, love her. It was fucked up, he acknowledged grimly. But that was where his head was at. And the anger, that came from his mistrust of her. Because when he’d woken up from his nap, an undeniable clarity hit him. He’d been thinking with cock since he met her. He took her at face value because he wanted desperately to believe she was an innocent caught up in something beyond her control. He let himself believe it because he decided that she was his saviour from the darkness. He’d been letting his emotions rule his head, abandoning his training and instincts and everything else that made him a good cop.
And then as he assaulted her, left her in pieces and walked out on her, he knew then he’d also abandoned his principles, what few he had left. Shame flooded him. He turned the Jeep around and headed back to the cabin. The snow was starting to fall, big flakes touching lightly against the windshield. That was the promise, Finn thought. There was going to be a storm.
When he walked back inside the cabin, Nika was sitting on the couch. As she heard him close the door, she jumped up on her knees and looked at him. “You’re back.” Relief was threaded through her words. Finn didn’t respond, didn’t know what to say. He hung his coat and removed his shoes before picking up the bottle of scotch and the tumbler and dropping down on the other end of the couch. Nika followed his every move with pensive ey
es.
“Want some?” he asked as he proffered the bottle. She shook her head. She was on edge, trying not to appear on edge. Her eyes were puffy from crying, her face red. The wind outside howled whipping the falling snow into a frenzy. He sighed as he poured the scotch into his glass. Did he really drink half a bottle? He took a gulp, savoured the burn as he swallowed.
“Nika,” he started, studying the contents in his tumbler, then he stopped. What was he going to say to her? He should tell her he wasn’t a monster, that she needn’t be afraid of him. But how did he know that? He’d lost control with her once, who’s to say it wouldn’t happen again? He inhaled deeply and then let out a long slow exhale. He glanced over at her, still kneeling, at the other end of the couch, watching him warily. If she were a suspect and he was interrogating her, what would he say? That thought helped to focus him. “Nika, I don’t trust you. And nothing you’ve said to me so far has changed that.”
That sounded good to his ears. No apologies, no promises to be nice, not yet. He saw her tremble. “What can I do, Finn?” she whispered, desperation tinged her voice. He felt the tug at his groin as his eyes raked her. It should have been his heart, not his cock, he thought. What a fucking prick. Well, in for a penny…
“The other problem Nika, is that I’m…” he stopped again. What? Having impure thoughts, want to ravish your body? Make you mine? Keep you forever? “… I’m attracted to you, in some crazy way that I don’t understand.” And also, in a way he’d never felt before in his life, an uncontrollable primitive need to possess her that reared up in him whenever he was near her. He didn’t share that last thought. Instead he said, “I can’t reconcile the two – the distrust and the attraction.”
Nika’s eyes widened, her face comprehending his words. She sat back on her ass, pulling her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them protectively. “I can’t either, Finn.”