“Are you sure?” he asked. “It’s still a hundred degrees out there.”
“It’ll be fine,” Caroline replied. Better than sitting in here, she thought. With her.
She wandered outside and sat on the front steps, leaving her plate to Yara who’d refused to come inside, somehow basking in the million-degree heat. She stared out into the street, watching the evening traffic crawl by. Caroline had lived in this house most of her life, ever since she could remember, and sometimes she forgot that her parents had had a whole other life before she was born, a whole other child. Had that not been enough for her mother? Had she been so unhappy that she needed to seek solace in someone else—in the likes of Jep Cranwell?
After a few minutes, Caroline’s father came outside. He sat down beside her on the steps. “Want to talk about what’s eatin’ ya?”
“No.”
“I can see you’re upset about something.”
“I’m not upset about anything,” Caroline lied. “It’s just been a long couple of days is all.”
“A couple of the orderlies overheard you arguing with Noah Cranwell that day at the hospital,” Max O’Conner said.
Oh no, Caroline thought. “They did?”
“Yes.” Her father nodded. “How long have you known?”
“What?” Caroline turned to look at him. “What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean.”
Caroline took a deep breath. So her father knew. He had known. Had everybody known but her? “I found out at the hospital the day we were there with Mom. You know, after she got out of the house,” she said. “I guess I knew on some level before then, but I didn’t want to believe it.”
“I didn’t want to believe it at first, either,” her father replied.
“When did you find out?”
“Oh,” her father said, leaning back on his hands, “probably about thirty years ago.”
“You knew the whole time?”
Her father nodded. “Not the whole time, but at the end I knew.”
“And you were okay with that?” Caroline was incredulous. “You just forgave her?”
“I wouldn’t say I was okay with it,” he replied. “I wasn’t okay with it then, and I’m not okay with it now. But yes, I did forgive her . . . and Jep.”
“Why?”
“Because I love your mother.” Her father shrugged, sitting back up.
“But she cheated on you!” Caroline practically screamed. “Not once, for a whole year! Noah told me. It lasted a whole year!” Caroline was furious. How could he be so calm? How could he just . . . sit there as if someone had stolen his lunch instead of his wife?
“I don’t need you to tell me how long it lasted,” her father replied, his face reddening. “I lived through it, remember?”
“Do you remember?” Caroline asked. “Do you remember? Because what kind of person stays with their wife after she cheats on him for a whole year?”
“I really thought you’d have a more mature response,” Max O’Conner said. His tone was even, but his eyes were flashing. “You can’t possibly understand until you’ve lived through it, and I pray to God that you never have to live through it.”
“You’re right,” Caroline replied, standing up. “I’ll never understand it, because I don’t understand you. I don’t understand how you can care so little about everything.”
“What are you talking about?” her father asked. “I care about you and your mother more than anything.”
“I don’t believe you,” Caroline replied. “You never act like anything bothers you. You won’t talk about anything. I’ll tell you one thing, I never want to end up like you, married to some old woman who can’t even remember who you are, but she can sure as hell remember to go get her hair done for the man she’s cheating on you with!”
Caroline felt the slap sting her face before she even saw her father lift his hand. She stood there in stunned silence for what felt like forever until finally her father spoke. “I . . . I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to . . . I didn’t mean to do that. You pushed me too far . . . I’m sorry.”
Caroline pulled her truck keys from her pocket and walked numbly down the stairs. She didn’t know where she was going, but she wasn’t going to stay there another second longer. Not another second longer.
CHAPTER 33
CAROLINE SAT IN FRONT OF COURT’S HOUSE for a long time before knocking on the front door. She would have gone inside sooner if it hadn’t been for Reese’s truck sitting in the driveway. She kept hoping he would come out to leave; she just wasn’t in the mood to deal with him tonight, but she didn’t have anywhere else to go. Ugh, why did he and Court have to be friends?
She got out of the truck and trudged up to the front door. Court swung open the door before she even had a chance to knock. “We were wondering when you were going to come insi . . .” He trailed off. “What in the hell happened to you?”
“I’m fine,” Caroline said, stepping inside the house. She could see Reese sitting on the couch and Court’s father perched on the recliner reading the newspaper. “But can I stay here tonight?”
“Of course.” Court pulled her further inside and beckoned her to sit down. “I gotta tell ya, Carolina, you sure as shit don’t look fine.”
Caroline didn’t even want to know how she looked. She’d been crying since she left her house, and her right cheek still burned. She sat down and the entire story tumbled out—everything, all the way up to the part where her father slapped her across the face. “To tell you the truth, I probably deserved it,” she said at last. “But, I mean, how did he think I was going to react?”
Reese handed her what was left of his whiskey. “Here. I think you need this more than me.”
“Thanks.” Caroline took the glass. “I can’t go home right now.”
“I’ll make up the spare room,” Court said, standing up. “You know you can stay as long as you want.”
“So you’re with Noah now?” Reese wanted to know as soon as Court left the room. He took the glass back from her and drained it. “Like, together?”
“No.” Caroline narrowed her eyes at him. He was so nosey. She’d left out the bits about her and Noah in the cave and in her bedroom, but she had a feeling Reese got the picture, anyway. “We’re nothing,” she said.
“His loss,” Court’s father said, looking up from his newspaper for the first time. He folded the paper up into a square and placed his reading glasses on the end table beside the recliner. “Now, if you’ll all excuse me, this old man needs to get some shut-eye.”
“‘Night, Dad,” Court called from the hallway bedroom.
“Don’t worry,” Joe Brannon said, placing his hand heavily on Caroline’s shoulder. “I’ve known your family my whole life. It’ll work itself out.” He shuffled out of the living room, leaving Caroline and Reese alone together.
“I’m sorry, Carolina,” Reese said, after a moment of uncomfortable silence. “Really, I am.”
Caroline knew he was. He always said just exactly what he thought. “I know.”
“You know,” Reese said, scooting closer to her on the couch. “You look exactly the same as you did in high school.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep. And you act the same, too.”
“How so?”
“You know, always running to Court when you’ve got a problem.”
“You’re one to talk,” Caroline retorted.
“What do you mean?” Reese stood up to fill his glass.
“Oh, come on,” Caroline said. “Don’t think I don’t know about how you almost lost your truck when you first started with the railroad. You didn’t know a bank account from a hole in the ground. I know Court made those payments for you until you could get back on your feet.”
“He told you about all that?”
“Of course not,” Caroline said. “I noticed the bill was coming to him. I put two and two together.”
“I guess we both lean on him a little hard,” Reese rep
lied.
Caroline guessed he was right. Except the only difference was that Court did things for her because they were buddies and not because Court was in love with her. Court had been in love with Reese since they were in junior high, and she reckoned that Reese knew it just as well as she did. “We should probably work on that.”
“Work on what?” Court emerged from the bedroom.
“Nothin’.” Reese set his glass on the coffee table. “I better git. Early day tomorrow.”
“You sure?” Court looked deflated. “It’s just eight o’clock.”
“And I’ve been here since three o’clock this afternoon,” Reese replied, giving Court his best lopsided grin. “I’ll holler at ya tomorrow.”
“Alright,” Court said with a sigh. “See ya later, man.”
“Later.”
Caroline followed Court out onto the front porch and watched Reese drive away. It looked like it was going to rain again with lightning illuminating the sky. She sat down in one of the rocking chairs. “I’m sorry I interrupted your night,” she said.
“Oh, it’s fine,” Court replied, still staring off after Reese’s truck. “He’s been over here damn near every day since he got back.”
“Would you rather he went somewhere else?”
“What do you mean?”
“Court, it’s just me,” Caroline said. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Court replied. He sat down next to her. “He’s welcome here same as you are.”
Caroline sighed. She knew better than to push it. “And I appreciate always being welcome.”
“Do I need to go over and have a talk with your dad?” Court asked. He was only half joking.
“No,” Caroline replied, grinning for the first time all evening. “My mom is his world, and I insulted her. I insulted him. But I couldn’t stop myself even though I knew the words were wrong as they were coming out of my mouth.”
“I did that once.”
“You did?”
Court nodded. “It was just after my dad and Pam got married.”
“What happened?” Caroline wanted to know.
“Pam was trying to boss me around, as usual,” Court said, a sad smile crossing over his face. “I got all mad and told her she wasn’t my mama. When my dad got home, of course she told him, and he gave me hell. We argued, and I told him that it was all his fault that my mom died. I told him . . .” Court paused. “I told him that if we had more money she’d still be alive.”
“Oh Court.”
“Wasn’t that an awful thing to say?” Court asked. “Cancer doesn’t care how much money you have. And he’s still paying off those medical bills.”
“I’m sure he knows you didn’t mean it,” Caroline offered, patting his hand. “You were just a kid.”
“It seems so unfair that he had to have two wives die of cancer,” Court continued. “I wonder if maybe he tried too hard to save Pam because of what I said about Mom. Maybe he wouldn’t have lost his house.”
“You can’t try too hard to save someone,” Caroline replied, although she knew from experience that you probably could. Memories of her mother’s meltdown at the airport flooded back.
“Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone,” Court finished. “It’s going to be alright.” It was his turn to pat her hand.
“Thanks.”
“So,” he said. “Are you going to open the shop tomorrow?”
Caroline shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Why don’t you sleep in and hang out here?” Court asked. “It’ll do you some good.”
“You’re the best.” Caroline threw her arms around him, leaving Court to flounder awkwardly for a few seconds before relenting and hugging her back.
“You’re gonna be just fine, Caroline,” he said into her ear. “Just fine.”
CHAPTER 34
IT WAS ALMOST AUGUST. THE DAYS WERE still sweltering, but there was a glimmer of hope for fall, and that was all it took to get the people of Cold River out of their summer funk. Caroline found herself dividing her time between the bait shop and Court’s house. She’d gone home briefly one morning while she knew both her father and Ava Dawn would be gone to gather more clothes. Her mother’s nurse looked at her curiously, especially when Caroline hadn’t acknowledged her mother. However, she must’ve known something was going on, probably apprised by Ava Dawn, and the woman didn’t say anything.
It wasn’t like she planned to ignore her mother and be mad at her father forever. She knew that she would eventually have to go home, especially after the season at the shop ended. Her father usually cut the nurses’ hours in the fall, and it saved them money. Still, she couldn’t help but think that maybe it was time for her to strike out on her own. Maybe it was time for her to find her own place and make her own mark.
She was thinking about all of this as she watched Smokey from the window of her shop, as he laid new shingles on the roof. He was almost finished. Another day or two, she figured. The day before, two dump trucks came and laid fresh gravel out front, and a concrete mixer came the day before that to lay a fresh new sidewalk leading up to the station. Noah glanced up and over at the bait shop when he placed his hands in the fresh cement, and Caroline could have sworn they locked eyes. It had taken her until just a few minutes ago to get the courage up to look outside again. Caroline had to admit she was impressed with how much had been done over there. Noah was going to make his September opening date. He hadn’t tried to talk to her again since that day at the river, although she often wondered about what she would say to him if he tried. Yara, it seemed, was his dog now. Some mornings she’d be up on the porch when Caroline got to the shop, but more often, Caroline saw the two of them, Noah and her, together. The food Caroline left out for her went untouched.
For the first time in a very long time, Caroline felt alone.
As she continued to watch out the window, she saw her mother’s Jeep pull up, and out jumped Ava Dawn. She eyed the shop skeptically, shielding her eyes from the sun. It was as if she was deciding if she wanted to come inside. After a few seconds, she bounded up the steps and inside the shop. “Hey, Caroline,” she said.
“Hey,” Caroline replied, trying to sound casual. “You stop by to pick up some bait?”
Ava Dawn crossed her arms across her chest. “Do I look dressed for fishin’?”
“Not particularly.”
The two women stared at each other. After what felt like forever, Ava Dawn said, “I actually came by to apologize.”
Caroline was taken aback. “For what?”
“For the way I acted about Brother Crow. I shouldn’t have taken it so personally.”
“Me either.”
Ava Dawn stepped around the counter and gave her cousin a hug. “Uncle Max is worried about you,” she said.
“I’m sorry I took off,” Caroline said, relieved to have it out in the open.
“I understand,” Ava Dawn replied. “And Uncle Max understands. He misses you, though.”
“I miss him, too,” Caroline admitted. She also missed her mother. “I know he’s going to be needing me by summer’s end.”
“Well, about that,” Ava Dawn began. “I was thinkin’, and I’ve already talked to Uncle Max about this, that I might quit at the diner and take care of Aunt Maureen full-time. You know I have my CNA license. I’ve had it since high school, and I love takin’ care of people. Roy would never let me work anything more than part-time, you know? I was thinkin’ I might even go back for my LPN someday. What do you think?” She looked at Caroline expectantly. “Lettin’ her leave without me knowin’ was just a onetime thing, I swear.”
“I know it was,” Caroline replied. “You could make more money at the diner, though.”
“But I’d save more livin’ with you and Uncle Max.”
“That’s true.”
“If you don’t think it’s a good idea, I understand,” Ava Dawn replied. She looked d
own at her feet.
“No!” Caroline exclaimed, reaching out for her cousin’s hand. “No, I think it is a wonderful idea!”
“Thank you,” Ava Dawn said, sounding relieved. “So does Uncle Max.”
“I knew he would.”
“What are you doin’ tonight?” Ava Dawn wanted to know. “I heard there’s a new band playin’ down at Mama’s.”
“Reese mentioned that,” Caroline replied. “I just don’t think I’m up for that.”
“Oh, come on. Please?”
“I knew you had another reason for coming down here,” Caroline teased.
“I don’t want to go alone,” Ava Dawn needled.
Caroline sighed. “Make Reese and Court go with you.”
“I don’t want to go with them. I want to go with you.”
“Will you leave me alone if I say yes?”
“Pick me up at eight!” Ava Dawn said, already halfway out the door. “Wear something cute!”
CAROLINE STOOD IN front of the hallway mirror at Court’s house. She’d spent the last few hours at one of the new boutiques in town, trying to find something suitable to wear to Mama’s. Most of the time, Mama’s was a hole in the wall bar where Smokey and his buddies went to drink, but on the weekends, it turned into just about the only place in town you could see a live band play. People from all over Ozark County came to hear the music, and a few of the big-name country stars had even gotten their start there. Caroline wanted to look cute.
She was glad she’d had the foresight to grab her pink cowboy boots from her closet when she’d been at her house. It was a cool enough evening to wear them, and they looked great with her blue jeans and tight-fitting peasant top. The top was black with little pink rose embellishments. The salesgirl told Caroline she looked sexy, but Caroline wasn’t so sure.
“You look sexy,” Reese said with his hands on his hips, appearing in the mirror behind her. “Damn sexy.”
“Thanks,” Caroline said, giggling. “When did you get here?”
“I’ve been here twenty minutes already,” Reese replied. “You were just too busy starin’ at yourself in the mirror to notice.”
Just Fine with Caroline Page 24