by Mingua, Wren
“Oh. Sorry, Love.” Algar slipped the saber into its sheath and handed it back to her. “I was missing home, so I needed something to remind me of my mates... my crew.”
Miranda took the sword and laid it on the counter. “So... what year were you born, Algar? Just out of curiosity.”
“1683.”
He said it with such a straight face, she was actually starting to believe him. “Wow. So how exactly did you end up here?”
“I have no idea how I ended up here, Love. I would say it was a curse... except I usually don't believe in that sort of thing.” Algar leaned against the counter. When he did, the open ends of his shirt slipped further apart, putting more of his bare chest on display. Miranda couldn't stop staring at him. She didn't know how to process her newfound attraction to Algar. It was--
“Weird,” she said aloud.
“What, Angel?”
“Uh... it's weird.” Miranda's throat squeaked, so she cleared it and continued, “If you're really from a different time period, that's too weird.”
He took a step closer to her, which made her heart stop for a few seconds. “I wish there was some way I could prove it to you,” he whispered.
“You don't have to prove it, Algar. As strange as you are, you being from a different time period might be the only explanation.” Miranda grabbed both sides of his open shirt and snapped it shut. “Now... button yourself up. If Lily comes home and sees you like this, her crotch might explode.”
Algar threw back his head and chuckled. “But how do you feel about me, Love? Do you like my new look?”
“You look...” Miranda couldn't possibly praise his unholy hotness, could she? In all her life, she had never been met with a more unexpected attraction. “You look clean,” she concluded, and hurried out of the kitchen as quickly as she could.
* * *
When Lily got home from work, Miranda and Algar were sitting on the couch, watching television. Miranda had already written her daily requirement of two thousand words, so she was free to relax for the rest of the day.
Except she couldn't relax—not when Cody came through the door and ruined her peace.
“WHOOOOOOO!” Cody announced his arrival with an obnoxious yelp. Lily tried to clap a hand over his mouth, but he twisted his face away. “The Codemeister is here! Have you missed me?”
Miranda shot him a disgusted glance over her shoulder. “Are you talking to me?”
“You talkin' to me?” Cody repeated, in his best impersonation of De Niro's Taxi Driver. “You talkin' to me? YOU talkin' to ME?”
When Miranda met Lily's gaze, both sisters rolled their eyes. Cody possessed a particular brand of obnoxiousness that only a twenty-one-year-old boy could possess. “Did you have to bring him over here, Lily?” Miranda asked with a groan.
“Aww... that's not very nice, Miranda!” Cody whined, flashing an exaggerated pout. “Don't you like me?”
“I like you when you're quiet,” Miranda said. She tried to turn up the volume on the television, but it only made him talk louder.
“I'm here to see the pirate!” Cody announced, rubbing the palms of his hands together. “Where is he?”
“He's right here,” Lily said. She tapped Algar on the shoulder, which made him look up. “This is Algar the Scar.”
“Lily!” Miranda hissed. “You can't just go around telling everyone about this!”
Cody crossed his arms as he stared at Algar. He looked him up and down, and they locked gazes for several seconds. “This isn't a pirate!” Cody laughed.
“He is!” Lily insisted. “He is a pirate!”
“This is just some dude,” Cody observed. “I thought you said he looked awesome. Like... all scraggly and shit.”
“Algar is awesome!” Lily defended him.
“Okay. Whatever. But I come over here expecting Jack Sparrow, but there's just some dude sitting on the couch. That's just wrong!” Cody flopped down on the couch, right next to Miranda. “Does he even talk?”
“He talks!” Lily exclaimed. “Algar... say something!”
Algar kept glaring at Cody. “Sorry. I have nothing to say to him, Petal.”
“Petal??” Cody repeated. A sandy brown eyebrow leapt to the middle of his forehead. “Is that some nickname you have for my girlfriend? Petal?”
“It suits her, I think,” Algar said, smiling at Lily. “She's soft and sweet... like a Lily Petal.”
“Shit! The wannabe pirate is hitting on my girlfriend! What do you think I should do about that, Miranda?”
“I don't think it's a big deal. He calls me Angel.”
“Angel?!” Cody slipped a hand over his mouth and chortled into his palm. “If he's calling you an angel, he obviously doesn't know you that well!”
Lily slapped the back of his head and shouted, “Cody... don't be a dickhead!”
Cody grabbed a bag of Doritos from the end table and helped himself to a snack. Algar rose from the couch and offered Lily his seat, but she declined. For several seconds, everyone was silent. Cody munched on his Doritos and stared at Algar, whose irritation was written all over his face.
“If this dude's a pirate, I need to be a pirate,” Cody said. “Maybe I should be a pirate for Halloween?”
“Cody...” Lily whined his name, exasperated.
“What, baby?” Cody licked his fingers and dipped his hand back into the bag, which made Miranda groan. “Baby, I need a drink to go with my chips. Go get me one.”
“Go get your own drink!” Lily sniped.
Cody reached around the back of the couch and spanked her on her rear end. “Go! Get! I need a Pepsi!”
Algar had seen enough. Without thinking, he grabbed Cody by the collar of his shirt and dragged him off the couch. Both girls squealed, but their squeals had no affect on Algar, who slammed Lily's boyfriend against the wall.
“Whoa! Hey! Shit!” Cody grimaced as Algar pounded his back against the wall. “Let me go! Jesus!”
“You don't treat women like that!” Algar snarled at him through gritted teeth. “Do you understand?”
“What did I do?!”
Algar dragged Cody forward and slammed his body against the wall a few more times. “Do you understand?”
Cody winced as Algar screamed at his face. “I do! Yes, yes, yes! I do understand!”
“You don't disrespect a lady like that.”
Cody tried to tug his shirt away from Algar's hand, but his grip was too tight. “I get it! I got it! I understand!” Algar raised his stump in front of Cody's face, which made him yelp. “Holy shit! You're missing a hand!”
“I am. And you should be lucky I don't have me hook hand right now, or I'd pluck out yer feckin' eyeballs.”
“Algar!” Lily shrieked. She tried to grab his shoulder and pull him away from her boyfriend. “Algar, quit!”
“And if I ever catch you disrespecting them again, I'll split yer arsehole with my sword.”
“Okay... that's enough!” Miranda exclaimed. With the combined strength of Lily and Miranda, they managed to pull him away from Cody. “There will be no splitting arseholes, okay? Algar... go sit down.”
“But I--”
“Sit down!” Miranda insisted, cutting him off. “Lily... you might want to take Cody and get out of here.”
Lily collected her boyfriend, who was whimpering by the wall. She took his hand and led him out of the house, but not before shooting a worried glance at her older sister.
When he was alone with Miranda, Algar's head sunk between his shoulders. He knew he would be reprimanded, but he didn't regret his actions. “He deserved it!” Algar exclaimed. “He bloody well deserved it! He was ordering her around... and he smacked her on the arse! He got what was comin' to him!”
“Algar...”
“And you!” Algar continued. “He disrespected you! He was sayin' you weren't an angel... well, you are an angel! You've been good to me...” Algar turned his eyes to the ground; he knew a scolding was imminent, and he didn't want to meet her g
aze. “I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't come 'round and given me a place to stay.”
“Algar... it's okay.”
Algar looked up, a bit surprised. “Is it?”
“Yeah.” Miranda flopped down on the couch and shrugged. “Cody's an ass. I'm sure he deserved it.”
“Aye. He did.”
Miranda muted the television and leaned back on the couch, exhausted.
It had been several months since she was sick, but these little outbursts still had quite an affect on her.
Chapter Ten
“What the bloody hell is all this?!” Algar exclaimed as he stared into the menu.
While her sister was gone for the night, Miranda decided to take Algar out for dinner. Of course, it was a mistake. As he shouted into the menu, he attracted more than a few stares from the surrounding tables.
“It's pasta,” Miranda said.
“I've never heard of half of this shite!” Algar prodded the menu with his finger. “Luh sag nah?”
“Lasagna,” Miranda repeated it the proper way.
“Man cotti?” Algar read aloud. “Is that some sort of perverted dish?!”
“No!” Miranda chuckled. “Anyway, I'm surprised you can even read. Aren't you supposed to be some kind of rough and tough pirate?”
“Aye. I am a rough and tough pirate. But I taught meself,” Algar said. “I'm not as stupid as you believe me to be.”
“I never said you were stupid! But I am surprised you're not more familiar with pasta. Did they not have many culinary options on your pirate ship?”
“We had fish. And fish. And more feckin' fish,” Algar said. “And if we were lucky, we'd catch ourselves a crab or two.”
“Maybe I should've taken you to Red Lobster,” Miranda said with a smirk. “Anyway, you should try something you've never tried before. Have you ever had spaghetti?”
“Hag spitty?”
“Spaghetti,” Miranda repeated.
A smiling waitress with auburn hair swept over to their table. “Hey guys!” she cheerfully greeted them. There was a wad of chewing gum rolling around in her mouth—Miranda secretly hoped it wouldn't land in her food. “What can I get you to drink?”
“Ale,” Algar said. “Hard ale.”
Miranda kicked him under the table. “We'll both have Dr. Pepper,” she said.
“Dr. Pepper?” Algar repeated, eyebrow raised. “Why do we need a doctor, Love?”
“It's not actually a doctor,” Miranda explained, ignoring the waitress' mounting confusion. “It's a drink.”
“Ye drink the doctor's blood?”
“No, Algar, no!” Forcing a smile, Miranda turned her attention back to the waitress. “Two Dr. Peppers,” she reiterated.
The waitress couldn't even bring herself to look in Algar's direction. He was clean and presentable now, but he was still boisterous enough to terrify the poor girl. “Do you know what you want to order, or do you need a few more minutes?”
“We'll both have spaghetti,” Miranda blurted—and she immediately regretted her decision, as she would likely have to school him on how to corral the long noodles onto his fork. The waitress grabbed the menus and took off before she had a chance to change her mind.
There was a decorative wall sconce near their table, which Algar kept prodding with his finger. Before he could knock it off the wall, Miranda grabbed his hand and laid it on the table. “So... let's talk,” she suggested.
“Talk about what, Angel?”
“Talk aboooout... I dunno. Anything.” She needed something to engage his attention so he wouldn't keep murdering the wall decorations. “The other day you mentioned that something bad happened to you when you were seven? What was it?”
“I'm not sure you want to know.”
“I do! I'm interested. You've definitely had an... an interesting life,” she said. “I'm sure you have a lot more stories to tell.”
“I have stories that could prickle your skin and chill yer bones, Love. I've seen things that no man should ever have to see... endured things that no man should have to endure.”
“I'm sure you have.”
“I was seven years old when my father started beating me,” Algar said. “He'd come home pissed off his arse, and he would beat me for no reason. One time, he threw me against a wall and broke me arm.”
“God! That's terrible!” Miranda grimaced. She wasn't sure it was appropriate dinner conversation, but she did ask for it.
“He ran away from home when I was eight. For awhile, it was just me and my mum... which was nice. If I didn't have her, I'm sure I wouldn't be half the man I am today,” Algar said. “I know you don't think I'm a very good man, but--”
“I do!” Miranda interrupted. “I do think you're a good man, Algar. You're kind of, well... you're kind of crass.... and strange... and vagrant... but it seems like you have a lot of respect for women, and that's always a good thing.”
“Anyway, the peace didn't last,” Algar continued. “My father returned about a year later. He raped me mum... right in front of my eyes.”
“Oh god! I'm so sorry!”
“That same night, that's when I killed for the first time.” Algar closed his eyes as he recounted his tale. “While my mum was screaming, I buried a knife in his back. We dragged his body outside and buried him under a mossy stone.”
“And how old were you? Nine?!” Miranda shook her head with disbelief. “And your mom was killed when you were ten, right? Wow... you really have had a difficult life! I can't even imagine.”
“I don't like to be gloomy about it, though.” Though his story was somber, a half-grin found its way to Algar's face. “It was a long time ago. A lot's happened since then.”
“Yeah, but your childhood can affect you your whole life! But you really did turn out to be a good man, in spite of it all.”
“You think so?”
“Aye,” Miranda said with a grin, attempting her best impersonation of Algar. “I do, Love. Dat I do.”
When the waitress returned with their Dr. Peppers, Miranda had to coach him on how to use a straw. But then he sucked his beverage so fast, it made him wince.
“It burns!” Algar clutched his head.
“Sounds like you gave yourself brain freeze,” Miranda snickered. “Anyway, I'm really sorry about Cody. He can be such a douchebag.”
“What's a deuce bag?”
“He's a jerk. A dick. An a-hole,” Miranda went on. “I really can't stand him. A part of me wishes Lily would just dump him and go for you. You'd be a better boyfriend for her than the Codemeister.” Miranda rolled her eyes at Cody's self-declared nickname.
“What about you?” Algar asked.
“What about me?”
Algar opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He liked Lily well enough, but he was wondering why his Angel wasn't on his list of romantic options.
“Anyway,” Miranda continued. “I know you like Lily, so it must be hard to see her with her boyfriend. I think she likes you too... I can tell. She's been with Cody for about six months now, and six months is about as long as she keeps her boyfriends. So if you hold out long enough, you might have a chance. I'm sure this thing with Cody has pretty much run its course.”
“Angel...” Algar whispered. “I fancy you.”
Unfortunately, Miranda didn't hear him. She was too busy staring over his head, at the handsome man who had just entered the restaurant. “Oh my god...” Miranda groaned. “I see someone I know. If he comes over to this table, be on your best behavior... okay?”
As luck would have it, the new arrival did visit their table. The handsome visitor flashed a dimpled grin as he approached them. “Miranda!” he exclaimed. “That's you, isn't it? Wow, you look great.”
“Thanks.” A ripple of anxious laughter drifted from her throat. “It's good to see you, Dr. Mooney.”
“Dr. Mooney,” Algar repeated, stroking his chin as he observed the doctor. “Is this a real doctor or a... a beverage?”
“A real doctor,” Miranda said.
“So we aren't going to drink his blood?”
“Heh... heheh...” More nervous laughter escaped her. “Just ignore my friend, Dr. Mooney. He's weird.”
“In my line of work, weird is a common occurrence.” The handsome doctor took it upon himself to sit at their table, right next to Miranda. “By the way, you can call me David.”
“David...” Miranda repeated dreamily. She kept staring at the doctor's hair, his wavy chocolate hair that was just begging to be touched.
“I'm not crashing your date, am I?”
“No!” Miranda practically shouted her answer. For a moment, her gaze flickered to Algar. The idea of a date with him was completely and utterly ludicrous. “No no no no no no no. It's definitely not a date!”
“Oh. Okay then.” The doctor's gentle smile returned in an instant. “You really do look good, Miranda. How are you feeling?”
“Pretty good.”
“Great. That's really great.” David laid a hand on her shoulder and gave it a little squeeze. Across the way, Algar was thinking about disemboweling him with his bare hands. “You know, you've been on my mind.”
“I-I have?” Miranda stuttered.
“Yeah. You have. Which is why... it's kind of fortuitous that I'd run into you like this,” David said. “This might be totally and completely inappropriate... and I might be crossing the line, but do you think you'd--” His voice trailed off.
“Do I think I'd what?!” Miranda's eyes were wide and wild with anticipation. When she was his patient, she had many fantasies about the gorgeous young doctor, she just never expected them to come to fruition.
“Would you like to go out with me sometime? For coffee or something? Or maybe a bite to eat?” the doctor suggested. “I know it's probably weird of me to ask out one of my former patients, but--”
“Yes!” Miranda said. “Yes! Yes, definitely! I'll give you my number...” She grabbed a clean napkin and scribbled down her cell phone number.
“You're awfully eager,” Dr. Mooney observed with a chuckle.
“Well...” Miranda could feel all the blood in her face rushing to her cheeks, which were uncommonly warm. How much did she want to admit? “I always... kinda had a crush on you,” she confessed.