by MJ Carnal
Andi laughed. “You’re used to showering together then? If it wasn’t my brother, this could be a huge turn on.”
“You are sick, Andi Allen. No wonder I love you so much.” Ryan hefted Caleb over his shoulder like he weighed nothing and carried him into the bathroom. “No peeking though, kid. I’d hate to be responsible for getting you all hot and bothered.”
“I am honestly living in hell.” Andi mumbled to herself as she walked back to her room.
~~~
Caleb woke to the bright sunlight streaming in his window. He didn’t remember coming to bed. He certainly didn’t remember changing into his sweatpants. And why did his hand hurt so badly? He glanced down at the angry cut that spanned half the distance of his palm. His head pounded.
“Good morning sunshine.” Andi walked into his bedroom carrying a bottle of aspirin and some water. “Sleep well?”
Caleb groaned. “What the hell happened to my door?” He turned his head trying to focus on the wood. “Did I do that?”
Andi laughed. “As if. That’s Ryan’s handiwork. The man is a Neanderthal.”
“Why did Ryan break my door?” He hissed as Andi took his hand and started cleaning it. “What the hell happened?”
“Well, my darling brother, you got shit drunk, took a header on the floor, broke some glass trying to drink yet another full bottle of liquor, and your door was locked. We didn’t want to miss the party so Ryan came over and we broke it down. It really was impressive. He got it on the first try. I didn’t see the appeal before, but I guess your friends aren’t so bad. They really do care about your stupid ass.”
“Has she called?” His voice was quiet and pained.
Andi shook her head. “She called into work again today. They called all of us to change our rotation to tonight with Dr. Laub.” She finished bandaging his hand and sighed. “I don’t know what happened. I tried to get Kevin to talk to me last night but he completely shut down. Just give her some time.”
“I can’t.” His voice broke. “I can’t breathe.”
“I don’t do sappy shit, you know that.” Andi gave him a weak smile. “But she was just as happy as you were. There is no doubt in my mind that you will end up together. Just keep believing that. And for the love of God, if you drink like that again, I will kill you.” Andi threatened as she got up to leave. “I called into work for you. You can thank me by taking a damn shower and leaving the house.”
~~~
The shower had done nothing to clear his head. And after three bites of toast, Caleb had given up on food entirely. When was the last time he had eaten? He didn’t care. He needed to get to Jena. He needed to make this right. He needed his heart to start beating again. She had called into work for the fourth day in a row. His stomach clenched thinking the worst.
The apartment complex was quiet. He took the elevator to the fifth floor and stepped into the silent hallway. He was taking a chance being here. But he couldn’t imagine one more second without her.
He knocked lightly on her door and waited. Nothing. He listened for movement. He knocked louder. “Please, Jena. Open the door. I need to talk to you.” His voice cracked. He pounded once more and rested his forehead on the door. He couldn’t breathe.
“She isn’t home.” A tall and muscled neighbor set a bag of trash outside his door and leaned against the wall. “She’s not there.”
Caleb’s head stayed firmly planted on the door. “Where is she?” Total defeat.
“I would guess that you’re Caleb?”
That got his attention. He stepped back from the door and looked at the stranger. “And you are?”
He extended his hand. “Luke. Sorry to have to meet you like this.” His southern drawl echoed through the hall.
Caleb shook his hand, his brow wrinkling in confusion. “I’m sorry. Who are you?”
“Come on in. I was fixin’ to check on her place when I heard you knocking.” Luke stepped aside and let Caleb into his apartment.
Once inside, Caleb glanced around the small living room. Alarm made him shiver as he looked at the pictures on his walls. Pictures of his Jena. Pictures of his Jena with this Luke. He was suddenly on high alert. “What the fuck is this?” Caleb pointed at the photos as his temper flared.
“Hold on there. Have a seat.” Luke pointed to the couch and sat across
from him in the old, tattered recliner. “I’m disappointed you don’t know who I am.” He chuckled and looked right at Caleb. “The name’s
Luke Turner.”
Caleb put his head in his hands and leaned forward. The southern accent, the photos, the dark hair. “Her cousin. I’m sorry man. She told me you lived in LA. I just didn’t realize it was right here.” He looked at Luke’s sad face and had to know. “Where is she?”
“She flew to Seattle. She’ll be back on Friday.” He shifted uncomfortably and sighed. “I can’t tell you much. It’s her story to tell. Let her breathe for a minute, man. When she gets back, fight for her. Do whatever you need to do. Just give her these few days.”
“Why is she is Seattle?” Caleb’s heart sunk. She really had run.
“There’s a job there.”
Caleb jumped from the couch and started pacing. “This can’t be happening. Shit. I don’t even know what the hell actually happened. Is she going to take it?”
Luke swallowed hard. “I don’t know. I’m going to do everything in my power to keep her here.”
~~~
“Dr. Turner, we are certainly impressed. I appreciate you coming out here to talk to us.”
Jena felt dead inside. The last few days were a blur. What was she doing? Could she leave LA? “Thank you for bringing me here. It is a beautiful city.”
“We have interviewed several candidates this week. We feel you are the only one that meets our needs at this time and we would like to make you an offer.” The chief of staff looked her body up and down and smiled. “We will send the offer to you by tomorrow evening. We hope that you will join us here. Seattle is the number three research hospital in the country and with you on board, I see us climbing even higher.”
Jena stood and collected her things. “Thank you for your time, Dr. Wade. I look forward to receiving the offer.”
Walking outside, Jena was hit with the wall of rain that had been falling on the city for the few days she had been here. It felt perfect. Despite being cold, she stood for a few more minutes, letting the water soothe her soul. She remembered seeing Caleb all wet, water dripping down his face, onto his muscled chest and chiseled abs. He was pure beauty. She shivered but not from the cold. Her past controlled her again.
He scared her. He was aggressive in the bedroom. And despite the fact that she had been successful in shutting out her past, one wrong move and it was all back. He had been trying to hear what was happening in the living room. She knew that. His simple desire to protect his sister had made him silence her in the worst way possible. One hand over the mouth and she was running. And looking around this strange new city, she realized she was still running.
He didn’t know about her past. Very few people did. And there was no way he would ever know. It had been ten years. Ten agonizing, nightmare filled years. And no amount of counseling had erased it. Little by little, her brain had learned to cope. But standing here in the freezing rain of a city she was about to make home, it was all back. A fresh wound, open and festering. It was time for a new start, away from everyone and everything. And Seattle was just the place to do that. She couldn’t take the chance of letting him in. She was damaged goods, too far gone to be fixed. He would never love her if he knew the truth. She was dirty, unpure, unloved. Opening up to him would only lead to rejection. She couldn’t handle any more of that.
~~~
Caleb slammed the door and Andi jumped from the couch. She watched him throw his coat on the floor and slide down to the doorframe. “Caleb?” Andi approached him slowly.
He looked up, his eyes haunted. “She’s gone.”
“Wh
at?” Andi kneeled next to him on the tile floor in the foyer.
“Gone, Andi. Gone. She’s interviewing in Seattle. She’s gone.” Andi pulled him into an embrace. Her heart broke for him. Her beautiful brother was broken.
Chapter 13
I don’t know what happened. But I need you. Please come back to me.
Caleb sat in his car outside the bridal salon. His hands shook as he sent the text. It was Saturday and she had been home for twenty four hours. He had hardly slept and certainly hadn’t eaten. Mark had cursed him when he scheduled the tux fittings the same time as the dress fittings. His heart leaped when his phone beeped back.
Please give me time.
He shoved his phone into his back pocket and pushed the car door open, nearly having it ripped off by a passing car. “Shit!” He yelled.
Mark stepped out of the store and looked at him.
“Shit is right, Allen. What the hell?” He held the door open.
“Don’t ask.” He snapped.
Mark grabbed his arm. “Stop. I know you’re hurting. I know it feels like shit. It was a lesson I learned because of you. I’m not trying to act like an asshole but this is Sophie’s day and I will be damned if you screw with it. So nut up and let’s go.”
Caleb took a deep breath and smiled a fake smile. “Greatest day of my life.”
Ryan threw his arm around him. “When you get her back, I’m gonna rub this shit in so hard. A taste of your own medicine will do you good.”
“I’ll take full responsibility for Mark and Soph. But I will be damned if I cop to playing some roll in the destruction of your paradise, bro. You and Layla did that all on your own.”
“Ah, but if we hadn’t, and Moretti hadn’t decided to go all evil keneval on our asses, you wouldn’t have met…” Ryan noticed Jena walk in the door and snapped his mouth shut.
The silence was deafening. Her face blushed and Mark reached out to hold Caleb’s forearm. “Deep breath man. Remember Soph.”
Caleb turned his back to the door. It was the single hardest thing he had ever done in his life. He swore his heart stopped beating. The sound of his blood rushing through his ears was all he could hear as the men greeted the women that had arrived. His hands shook. Sweat beaded on his forehead and for one moment, he thought he would be sick.
“Let’s go get fitted.” Ryan threw his arm over his shoulder once more and led him to the men’s section. “She loves you, man. She told me. You can’t give up.”
“She told you?” Caleb stopped walking, his face pale and his hands clammy. “When did she tell you?”
Ryan shrugged. “A couple times in the last few weeks. I don’t know what happened, man. I swear I don’t. But if I can settle down, she can.”
He looked over his shoulder for the first time. Jena was watching him, a mix of fear and desire in her eyes. As soon as he made eye contact, she looked away. “I hope you’re right.”
Sophie’s scream got everyone’s attention. Sophie and Molly were jumping up and down hugging Jena. Mark was shaking his head and smiling and Andi was wide eyed looking at Caleb. “What?” He mouthed at his sister.
Andi looked down and pulled out her cell phone.
She got the job in Seattle.
~~~
Jena stepped out of the dressing room in her Vera Wang chiffon bridesmaids gown. She stood in the mirror with a lump in her throat. Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears. Seeing Caleb had been her undoing. She slid her brave mask back in place as Sophie stepped into the mirror.
She gasped. “Jena, you look amazing. Red is your color. It’s gorgeous.”
“Thank you.” Jena turned to get a glimpse of her back in the dress. “I live in light blue scrubs. I have to admit, it’s a little shocking.”
Sophie giggled. As Jena turned around, Sophie pulled her hair back from her face. Standing behind her, she smiled. “Someday, we will be here picking out your dress. I can’t wait.”
Jena’s eyes widened and she stepped out of Sophie’s grasp. Tears flooded her face. “I can’t be here. I’m so sorry.”
As she stepped away from the mirror, Sophie grabbed for her hand. “Wait. Please, J. What’s the matter?”
Jena kept walking. “I just need a minute. I’m sorry.” She shut the dressing room door and crumpled to the ground. Her sobs echoed through the fitting room. When Sophie wouldn’t leave the room, Jena sighed. “Is Kevin here? Can you get him?”
Sophie jogged to the tuxedo section, quickly spotting Ryan and Kevin standing in the mirror admiring the fit of their suits. When she approached, they looked at her with concern. “I’m sorry.” Her heart sped as she saw Caleb walk toward them. She took a deep breath and attempted a smile. “I don’t mean to interrupt your male bonding. Something is wrong with Jena. I can’t get her out of the dressing room. She is asking for you.”
Without saying a word, Kevin left the other men standing there stunned. Caleb turned and punched the wall. His anger and sadness out of control. “This is bullshit.” He stormed off toward the front door, Ryan on his heels.
“Allen, stop.” Ryan’s voice was stern. “Get your shit together. Now. I mean it. You of all people should know better than to jump to conclusions. You fuck this up for Mark and Sophie, I will fuck you up. We clear?”
“Crystal.” Caleb walked toward the bridal side of the salon and turned to glare at his best friend. “Commence the fuck up, West, because I will be damned if that woman is walking out of my life. Certainly not with him. Are we clear?”
Within seconds, Caleb noticed Kevin standing in the doorway of the dressing room, whispering to Jena who sat with her head in her hands. Caleb’s heart raced. Perhaps it was innocent. He knew that it was easy to make a mistake. But he loved her. And there was no mistaking that she had asked for Kevin. His anger swelled as Kevin knelt down and took her hands. His voice was quiet but he could make out the words. “You need to calm down. Did you call Dr. McCall?” When she shook her head, he continued. “You need to. You’ve got to find a way to deal with this.”
Just as Caleb was about to interrupt, her small voice pierced the silence. “I love him. My heart reminds me of that every second. But I can’t let go. I know it is ridiculous. It was years ago, Kevin. But the fear cripples me. I can’t take the chance on us.”
“He’ll wait. Take care of you. Call Dr. McCall.” They both froze when the floor creaked. Their eyes widened as they saw Caleb standing there. Knowing he had heard their conversation, Jena’s hands began to shake. Kevin stood and brushed the last tear from her cheeks. “Make the call, J.”
Caleb closed the dressing room door and knelt in front of her. “Did I break us?” His voice cracked. “Can we be fixed?”
She put her head back in her hands and took a deep breath. “I know you don’t understand, Caleb. I’m not ready to talk about it. I can’t. I don’t want to. I can’t handle a relationship right now. I’m so sorry.”
Caleb reached out and took her hand. The familiar electric charge ran up his arm and when she jumped, he smiled. She felt it too. He had hope for the first time in a week. “I don’t understand. But I won’t push you. You’re under my skin, Jena. I will give you as much space as you need, for as long as you need it. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve completely fallen in love with you and I will wait, as long as it takes.”
Jena’s heart rate doubled. “I don’t deserve you.”
“You’re right, honey. You deserve so much better.” Caleb straightened and smiled down at her. “And you look hot in red. You should never take that dress off. Well, I mean, Ok, I’m leaving.”
She giggled for the first time in days. She would call Dr. McCall today. She needed to find a way to make Caleb understand. She needed to find a way to feel free to love him. She needed to find a way to feel whole.
~~~
Mark gathered the group outside the bridal salon. “Thank you for coming. I know we have been vague about plans. But everything is in place. You’ll be getting clues throughout the next few weeks. You wi
ll figure it out in a matter of days. We aren’t that creative.”
Sophie giggled. “I have my first clue in the car for the girls. I know you said no extras but I couldn’t resist. Come on.” Sophie led the girls to the trunk, where she pulled out rhinestone encrusted flip flops that matched their dresses. “Shh. I know it isn’t a clue. But these were so damn cute and since you know it will be on the beach, I found these appropriate.”
The girls hugged their goodbyes and Andi met Caleb at his car. “What’s wrong with Kevin?”
“Nothing? I don’t know.” Caleb snapped at her as he watched Jena get into her car and drive away.
“The last couple times I’ve seen him, he’s seemed withdrawn. Not that we are close.” Andi blushed and looked out the window. “But he’s constantly giving me shit. So unless his brain has become constipated, something is very wrong.”
Chapter 14
Caleb wiped down the kitchen counter. It had been a week since he had seen or spoken to Jena. He was determined to give her the space she needed. But time was not his friend and he struggled to keep busy. He had read three manuscripts from new authors, been to the gym everyday and his house had never been so clean. Andi had been consumed with work and the house had seemed empty. “Maybe I should get a dog. Great. Now I’m talking to myself.”
The knock on the front door startled him. Opening it, his eyes went wide. Kevin could hardly stand, his weight being supported by a burly man in his late sixties.
“I assume this belongs to you?” The man shoved Kevin at him.
“I lost my wallet.” Kevin’s slurred voice echoed through the foyer.
Looking past the older man, Caleb noticed a taxi idling in his driveway. “How much do I owe you, man?”
“You were on my way. No charge. Take care of him. He did a number on the jazz club downtown. The owner is a friend of mine. I owed him one.” Caleb shook his hand and smiled. “You have a good night.”