Just as she couldn’t picture herself staying here, either. Struggling to start over with the kids. The mere thought of trying to move them away from their friends and their school back in Massachusetts seemed an impossibility. Not to mention moving them away from their father. But the alternative no longer felt right either. She put the half-eaten bowl of spaghetti on the coffee table.
“You’re right, I need sleep.” Iris stood, the afghan dragging on the floor behind her. When Paul lifted it and draped it around her shoulders, Iris stiffened.
“I’ll clean up the kitchen and get the kids organized for the night. Why don’t you head up to bed?”
“Okay.” Iris started up the stairs, her eyes trained on each step. What was she doing? Paul was only trying to make things work, something she’d found comfort in earlier. Maybe if she tried harder, too. She looked down at him from the steps. “Thanks, again, for dinner. And for taking care of the kids. I don’t know what I’d do right now if you weren’t here for them.”
Upstairs she did not climb into bed so much as fall. She was too tired to contemplate tomorrow; today was already so full. Leah was awake. Paul had the children. And here, thank God, was her pillow. Check, check, check.
• • •
Iris stopped at the nurses’ station to sign in.
“Going to see our favorite girl?” the young male nurse asked.
He was handsome, no older than his early twenties, and Iris had to laugh at the fact that even in her weakened state Leah had apparently charmed him. “Yes,” she said. “How’s she doing today?”
“She’s been busy with her fan club. Physical therapy, then speech therapy. The counselor. Though I think they’re all done by now.” He glanced down at a schedule. “Yep, looks like you’re her first ‘fun’ visitor today. Aside from her husband, of course.”
Iris blinked. “Excuse me?”
The orderly looked up from his paperwork. “Mr. Willets. Your sister’s husband.”
“Fiancé. I mean . . . ex-fiancé.” Iris shook her head. What Stephen was, at this point, didn’t really matter. “Where did you say he was?”
After the first night in the ER, Millie had barred the hospital from allowing the Willetses access to Leah. Demanded that only family be allowed into Leah’s room. Given the fact that Leah was on suicide watch, the psychiatrist on call had agreed that it was best. An assigned social worker had enforced the request. Even though Iris had heard how angry the Willetses were with this measure, she’d had to agree with Millie on this one.
Without access to Leah, as far as Iris knew, Stephen had flown back to Seattle with his parents. Since then, the only concern she had for Stephen Willets was what she would say if Leah asked after him. Which, by some miracle, she had not yet done. Now Iris’s heart skipped a beat.
The nurse frowned and looked at his notes more carefully. “I’m sorry. I assumed Mr. Willets was your sister’s husband. Since he’s been staying with her.”
• • •
Iris raced down the hall and halted in the doorway. “I thought you went back to Seattle.”
Stephen spun around, his eyes wide but unapologetic. “Iris.”
“What are you doing here?” she demanded.
“I couldn’t leave her. Not like this.” He motioned to Leah, who was sleeping. But Iris couldn’t take her eyes off Stephen. He looked haggard, his shirt rumpled and his hair askew.
“Oh, I see. But you could leave her at the altar.”
Stephen winced. “Iris, please. Now is not the time.”
“You’re right. I think I’ll come back later. With the social worker.” She tugged her purse firmly over her shoulder.
“Don’t!” Stephen’s voice was firm, but his expression crumpled with worry. “Please, don’t. She needs me, Iris.”
She paused, her hands shaking.
“She needs all of us, Iris.”
Iris had never been able to conjure the same rage that Millie held to so tightly, but she’d not exactly held Stephen blameless. You could hardly assign all the responsibility to a bride at the bottom of a pool.
“Please,” Stephen begged. “I know you hate me. But you have to listen.”
Iris turned, her eyes on the linoleum floor. “I don’t hate you,” she whispered. “I hate what’s happened to her. That she could just try to leave us like that,” she choked. And there it was. The admission that, despite all the other antagonists in her story, it came down to Leah’s choice to try to end her life. To decide to leave them all.
“I know. It’s all I think about, every minute.” Stephen stood wearily and pulled an adjacent chair over. “Come sit.”
Reluctantly, Iris joined him.
Stephen let out a long breath and took Leah’s hand in his own. She stirred, but slept on. “I heard you and Leah talking before the rehearsal dinner.”
Iris closed her eyes. It was a talk they had to have.
“Stephen, I tried to get her to tell you. But it wasn’t my news to share.”
Stephen shook his head, silencing her. “I’d known that she was keeping something from me all summer. Suddenly she didn’t want to go home to Seattle. And then she changed her mind about working for the foundation, something my parents worked so hard to include her in. She just wasn’t herself.”
“She had a change of heart about those things, Stephen. But she still loved you.”
“I know. And I could accept those changes. But starting a family was everything. She and I talked about it all the time.” He turned to look at Iris. “You need to know something: it wasn’t that Leah couldn’t have children. It was that she lied to me, again and again, whenever I tried to ask her what was bothering her this summer. It was that I had to find out, by accident, by overhearing the two of you.”
Iris leaned forward, listening. “I’m so sorry you had to learn about it like that.”
“She should’ve told me about the baby and about what she went through last summer. Because I could’ve helped her somehow. I wanted to help her. But Leah didn’t feel she could trust me with the truth. And in keeping those secrets, she kept a part of herself from me. That was the betrayal I couldn’t get past.”
Iris nodded. Here was the only other person, beside herself, who truly understood how complicated Leah was. “I’m sorry she lied to you about something so important. But still—I just don’t see how you could leave her at the altar.”
Stephen stood. “I didn’t leave her at the altar!”
“You were going to!” Iris cried. “You were standing there with a microphone in your hand and your grim-faced parents behind you. I know what you were planning to say. The only reason you didn’t is because Leah beat you to it—she threw herself into that pool before you had to make your announcement.” Now she was crying.
“No, Iris. Even to this day I don’t know what I was going to say,” Stephen said, his own eyes filling with tears now. “I wasn’t in my right mind. I felt like she’d already left me. I’d felt it all summer long. And that was the final blow.” He wiped his nose with his sleeve. “Leah doesn’t let people in. And I couldn’t stand up before all the people who love us and pretend that I was going to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn’t love me enough to let me in.”
Iris put her hand on Stephen’s arm. She knew. She’d spent her whole life trying to get Leah to let her in.
“She loves you, Stephen. She may not know how to let people in, but she loves you.”
Stephen nodded, covering his face with his hands. He took a few ragged breaths.
“She looks better today, don’t you think?” Iris asked. Leah’s cheeks were rosy, a more vibrant color than the ashen hue they’d been. Briefly, Iris wondered if it was something about Stephen’s presence.
“She’s never looked more beautiful.” There was protectiveness in Stephen’s voice, which Iris drew comfort from.
<
br /> A nurse came in and did a quick check of vitals. “Mr. Willets, would you like me to have them send in a cot again tonight?”
He glanced quickly at Iris, nervously, then nodded to the nurse. “Yes, that’d be great.” He stood up. “I can help you with it.”
“No, no,” the nurse said, shooing him away. “You stay with your bride. We know the drill.”
Iris studied him as Stephen walked to the window, arms crossed uncomfortably.
“So you’ve been sleeping here?”
He nodded.
“For how long?”
“I haven’t left yet.”
Iris looked around the tiny room, at the bed, the one chair. The bedside table crowded with pictures, cards, and flowers.
“But how? I haven’t seen you. And my mother said—”
“Your mother meant well. But she was wrong.” He turned to face her. “Leah needs me.”
He walked around the bed, to Leah’s pillow. Touched her hair.
“So you mean to tell me you’ve been hiding out here since the first night?”
Stephen sighed. “Yes. But please don’t share that with Millie. I don’t want to upset her, because that will only upset Leah. I didn’t want to fight her on this, but I will if I have to.” His voice softened as he looked back at Leah. “Whatever she needs.”
“So you’ve talked to her about this?” Iris nodded toward Leah, who stirred in the bed. “And she’s known you’ve been here all along?”
“Yes, of course. We wanted to keep it between us. She needs peace.”
Iris sat back in the chair, taking it all in. So that was why Leah had not asked after Stephen yet. She hadn’t had to. “How’d you do it? Leah never said a thing.”
“When your family visited, I stayed on the cardiac floor, below.” He shrugged. “My mom brought me clothes, and I ate in the cafeteria.”
Iris’s jaw dropped. “Your parents are still here, too?”
He looked at her sheepishly. “Just my mom. She thought it was the right thing to do.”
So Adele was in on it. But instead of drawing ire, the move filled Iris with a new appreciation. “So your mother has gone into hiding somewhere in town, and you’ve pretty much camped out in the cardiac center for a week?”
“Pretty much.” He smiled roughly, rubbing the overgrowth on his chin. “Though I don’t recommend trying to bathe yourself from a restroom sink. Not very thorough.”
Iris squeezed her nose with one hand, playfully. “Now that you mention it.” But the relief of their easy banter was quickly overshadowed by concern. “Stephen, I’m amazed you did this. Really.” She paused, struggling for the right words. “But what does all this mean?”
“Mean?” The confusion on his face was genuine.
“Leah couldn’t handle you leaving again. She’s got a long recovery ahead of her.”
“I wouldn’t do that to her,” Stephen said. He turned back to Leah and swiped at his eyes. For the first time Iris saw the spill of tears, running down his cheeks. “You have to believe me, I wouldn’t do that.”
Iris rested a hand on his back. “I want to believe you.” She had all the answers he had to give. For now it would have to be enough.
Thirty-Six
Iris awoke to a buzzing sound. She glanced at the clock. Nine thirty. Had she really slept through the night?
Her phone buzzed again on the nightstand, and she reached to silence it. Two messages. Her heart jumped. Had Cooper finally called?
The first was Trish, checking in to see how Leah was. Impatiently, Iris hit Delete. She’d call her back. The next was a number she did not recognize. From out of state.
“Iris!” It was Joan, her editor, and at first Iris’s heart fell in disappointment. Cooper hadn’t called.
“I finished the proposal, and I went ahead and shared it with the marketing and business team.” Joan paused, and Iris’s stomach flip-flopped at the realization that this was the call she’d been waiting for. She held her breath, pressing the phone tighter against her ear. “There are a few questions about format, and we really need to rethink the title, but I have to tell you . . . they loved it! I’ve put together some numbers for you. Call me. It’s a go!”
Iris squealed. Phone in hand, she leaped up, both feet straddling the twisted blankets beneath her, and began jumping up and down on the bed. “Oh my God! Oh my God! We did it!” An energy raw with happiness coursed through her like a bolt, and jumped until she was afraid the bed would break.
She had to call Trish! She had to go downstairs and tell the kids! And her parents! But first, she wanted to tell Cooper.
She grabbed her phone. His number was at the top of her screen, under Favorites. All she had to do was hit Call. But instead, Iris set the phone down on her bedside table and covered her face with her hands.
• • •
Iris navigated the Rover up the wooded drive. She’d taken a chance on finding him here at home. Cooper had not been to the farm all week, and she couldn’t go another day without seeing him. Buoyed by the joy of sharing her news with her family and Trish, who’d about blown out her right eardrum on the phone, Iris had decided to make the first move.
She hopped out and looked around the small clearing. Overhead a red-tailed hawk circled. A small breeze stirred the pines. She climbed the wooden steps to his porch and took a deep breath before knocking.
“Cooper?” There was no sound of footsteps inside, and for a moment she felt something akin to relief. She went to the porch railing and leaned out, looking down the hillside through the dense pines.
She was about to give up when she heard the crackling of twigs from the woods. Cooper emerged from the trees, a bundle of kindling under his arm. Before she could call his name he looked up and saw her.
Iris lifted her hand, a small gesture for all the big things she’d come to see him about. He nodded as if he’d been expecting her.
• • •
“So, how is she?” The teakettle sputtered on the gas stove, and Cooper dropped tea bags into two blue mugs, his back to her. He wore a few days’ growth of stubble on his face. Iris watched quietly, wondering if this would be the last cup of tea she’d share with him.
“They’re going to transfer her to a rehabilitation center in Keene soon. Millie’s over there doing the paperwork now.”
Cooper turned to really look at her for the first time. His eyes didn’t crinkle in the corners, like usual. “So, she’s got a bit of a road ahead of her.”
“Yeah, she does.” Iris paused. “Her fine motor skills are coming along. Her speech is almost back to normal. But there’s still the mental health part of recovery that she’s got to tackle.”
Cooper filled the mugs with steaming water and brought one to her. “Still. It’s a miracle, really, when you think about it.”
“Pretty much.” Iris couldn’t let herself flash back to the edge of the country club pool, because if she did she would lose it.
As if reading her mind, Cooper put a hand on her back and guided her into the living room. “How’re you holding up?”
Had anyone else asked her that? “Okay. It’s been pretty crazy.” She took a sip of the hot tea and settled herself onto the couch. “But I did get some good news.”
“Oh?” He looked at her hopefully.
“The cookbook that Trish and I have been slaving over all summer?” She couldn’t hide her grin. “It’s getting published!”
Cooper smiled, a moment too late. Had he been expecting her to say something else? But he stood and hugged her tightly, whispering congratulations. “I knew you had it in you. That’s fantastic! So what next?”
“Trish and I have a lot of editing to do. When that’s done, we’re going to New York to meet with the publisher, sometime this fall.” Just the mention of fall shifted the air between them. Reminding Iris of why she’d rea
lly come.
“So now I know a famous writer,” Cooper teased.
“I wouldn’t go that far. A writer, at least.” She shook her head. “It’s been quite a summer.”
“How are the kids?”
“Good. They’re still here. And so is Paul.”
Cooper’s expression remained even. “You need all the help you can get. I can’t imagine.”
“I wanted to call you.”
“Iris, don’t. I’m fine.”
“Well, I’m not.” She ran a hand through her hair, looking around them. At the wooden mantel on the fieldstone fireplace. At the knotted pine floors, a gleaming honey against the gray day outside. Everything in this cabin emanated warmth and peace, like Cooper himself. So unlike the chaos of the farm these last few days. So unlike her own home, brimming with tension, back in Massachusetts.
“Cooper, I don’t know what to do anymore.” Iris stood and began pacing the room.
“About?”
“How can you ask that? Us, of course.”
“Oh.” He stared into his mug.
“Haven’t you wondered? I mean, I can barely sleep. Eat. Or think.”
“It’s all I think about, Iris.”
Iris felt a tightening across her shoulders. She had to ferry them to some kind of decision; she had to be honest. “When I came here in July, my marriage was over. That hasn’t changed.”
Cooper waited, listening.
“It was Paul who brought it on. But as hard as it was to face at first, he was right. And so I came up here to heal. To move forward.”
She went to the window, searching for words. “But now, after everything that’s happened, it’s changed the way I see things. And suddenly Paul is back, and he wants us to work through this.”
The Lake Season Page 33