by Jonah Black
I just hope I don’t run into Posie again.
(Still Dec. 29, 12:30 P.M.)
Now I’m sitting at a table at the Diamond Horseshoe Jamboree, which is this kind of Wild West musical revue where you eat your lunch while everybody around you yells and sings cowboy songs.
Sophie wasn’t at the castle at eleven.
I checked out of the hotel this morning and stored my bags at the front desk. Then I bought a bouquet of flowers from the gift shop and got the shuttle over here. I stood underneath the arch of Cinderella’s stupid castle and waited for Sophie. I waited for fifteen minutes, I waited for a half hour, I waited for forty-five minutes. No Sophie. Just before noon I threw the flowers in the trash, totally disgusted. I walked over here to get something to drink and I’ve been sitting here ever since. I don’t know what to do.
The thing is, I’m not ready to give up yet. Pops would be pretty disappointed in me if I gave up now. So would Thorne. And what about Posie? After all, she broke up with me so I’d be free to do this, hook up with Sophie. I owe it to Posie to get Sophie out of my system once and for all.
I have from now until four to meet up with her and see what’s what. I don’t even know if I’ll see her. But if I do, I have a feeling I’m going to get burned again.
Dec. 30
Back in Pompano Beach.
Okay. I’m back in my room at Mom’s house.
Now I have a broken arm.
I guess I should explain how I got the broken arm.
Before I do, though, I should describe the cast. It’s from the middle of my forearm down to about the middle of my hand. Left arm.
It’s got one signature on it, in red Magic Marker.
Marry me, Jonah. All my love forever.
The last few days have definitely been busy.
I’m probably not going to be able to write all this down in one sitting, so this might be a little disjointed.
Where was I? I guess I’d just left the Diamond Horseshoe Jamboree and I was trying to figure out where to go next. I had about three hours to kill before Thorne came to pick me up. I was kind of hoping I’d bump into Sophie, but Disney World is so big and so crowded, that was unlikely.
I was feeling pretty low. The past three days had just been so weird and sad and I didn’t know whether I was glad I’d come or what. And everywhere I turned it looked like there were happy people, kids laughing, parents with their kids, couples my age holding hands.
Anyway, I was standing at the entrance to Fantasyland when suddenly I felt this hand on my shoulder.
I turned around. It was Sophie.
She was wearing a black jean miniskirt and a red T-shirt and her hair was just pouring down around her shoulders. She smelled like sweet sweat. Like flowers and sweat.
“Hi, Jonah,” she said.
“Hi,” I said.
She put her arms around me and hugged me hard. “I’m sorry,” she said into my chest. “I am so sorry.”
I felt myself melt. “It’s all right,” I said. “I just didn’t understand what happened. I wanted to help you. Last night.”
“Do you hate me?” she said.
“No, of course I don’t hate you. I just want to help you. I—”
“Sshh,” she said, and put one finger on my lips. “Let’s forget last night, all right? I’m sorry I was so weird. What can I tell you? You’re in love with a weird girl.” Her eyes fell for a second. “I didn’t mean to say that. I don’t mean that you’re actually, you know—”
“It’s true,” I said. “I am in love with you.”
“Well, you shouldn’t be,” Sophie said. “You don’t even know me.”
“I want to know you,” I said. “If you’ll let me.”
“Okay, Jonah,” she said. “But first let’s do it.” She took my arm and we started walking through the Magic Kingdom.
I wasn’t sure what she meant by that. Did she mean what it sounded like she meant? Like, actually have sex in Disney World?
There was something about Sophie that just fried my brains. I guess it should have been pretty clear to me, not only from the night before, but also from the way she said this, that Sophie was nuts. But it was like I was under some spell or something. All I wanted was to be with her. I didn’t care how weird she was, or maybe her being so weird was what made me want her in the first place.
“I can’t believe you’re here,” she said, taking my hand. “I thought I was never going to see you again.”
She didn’t try to do it with me right away. First we went to King Stefan’s, which is this restaurant in Cinderella’s Castle. I’d always heard you couldn’t eat there without reservations. As it turned out, Sophie had reservations for two.
“How did you know you were going to find me?” I said.
“I didn’t,” she said.
We sat at a little table in the corner of King Stefan’s and ate cheeseburgers and Cokes and French fries. We didn’t talk for a while, we just sat there awkwardly and I felt like my head was going to burst open. I was afraid I was failing with her already, but I couldn’t think of a thing to say. Anything I said I was sure would sound stupid.
“Do you like French fries, Jonah?” Sophie said after a while.
“Yeah. Sure. I love French fries,” I said. Sure enough, I sounded stupid.
“I hate ‘em,” she said, eating hers. “I like onion rings a lot better.” She giggled. “Hey, you know I used to know this guy who had onion rings for glasses.”
“Yeah?” I said. It sounded like the first half of a joke, only she didn’t say the other half.
“So when are you going home?” I said. It almost sounded like I was looking forward to her leaving.
“Today,” said Sophie. She had some of her hair in her mouth and she removed it with one pinky. “I’m getting on a plane at six. What about you?”
“I have to be back at the hotel before four. Thorne’s picking me up and we’re driving home.”
“Thorne,” Sophie said, smirking. “You know he called me once? To tell me what you’d done?”
“Yeah,” I said. In a way I owed this whole experience to Thorne. He was the one who first contacted Sophie.
“He thinks he’s pretty hot stuff I guess. I don’t know. Guys mystify me sometimes,” she said.
I nodded. “Me too. Actually, everybody mystifies me.”
“I’m sorry if I screwed up our big date,” said Sophie.
“It’s all right. Maybe this whole thing was stupid anyway,” I said, swallowing hard. It felt like we were breaking up, even though we’d never been together.
“No, don’t say that,” Sophie said. She grabbed my hand, hard. “It wasn’t stupid. It didn’t work out exactly the way we wanted it to, but we had to do it. We had to meet. It’s like we’re linked, Jonah. It’s like we’re twins born to different parents or something. I don’t know if I’m ever going to see you again or what, but I know my fate and yours are all wrapped up together. It wasn’t just some random accident, you saving me last year. It was something you did because you had to. And I’m telling you this, Jonah Black. I’m going to save your life one day, too. I don’t know how, or what I’m going to do, but I’m going to make a sacrifice for you some day, just like the one you made for me.”
This was all pretty heavy. I just sat there holding her hand. I wanted to believe her, but something in me wasn’t sure if I could trust anything she said anymore. And I kept looking at this half-eaten French fry on her plate with lipstick on it. When I first looked at it, it didn’t look like lipstick—it looked like blood.
(Still Dec. 30, later)
Okay, had to stop and rest the ol’ hand there. More on my afternoon with Sophie in Fantasyland, and how I wound up getting a broken arm.
We left King Stefan’s and walked around with our arms around each other through the crowds, through the lines. We stared at all the people, in the long lines for Cinderella’s Golden Carousel and Snow White’s Scary Adventures, and The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh a
nd Dumbo the Flying Elephant. I don’t know, it was like being on a ride itself, just walking through Fantasyland with Sophie. I felt like I was in some amazing dream and any second we would both disappear, but we didn’t. I loved the feel of her waist, the way it fit perfectly in my hand. Every once in a while we’d stop and kiss and I’d close my eyes and hear all the sounds of Disney World all around me, coming from some distant planet.
“This is kind of like torture,” I told Sophie, finally coming up for air.
“How come?” she said, looking into my eyes.
“Because it’s like we get to be together for this one day and then we’re apart again,” I said. “I can’t stand it.”
“I know,” said Sophie. “But it’s still nice.”
“Yeah,” I said. “It is nice.”
“Hey, Jonah, are you seeing anybody else?”
“You mean seriously?” I said. I thought about Posie. It was so weird—when I saw her at that UCF party, it was like she wasn’t even real.
“No. Not really,” I said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” she said.
“It means I broke up with someone a couple of weeks ago,” I said.
“How come?” she said.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. She knew about you, I guess.”
Sophie’s jaw dropped. “You broke up with someone over me?”
I nodded.
“Jonah,” Sophie said. “You shouldn’t have.”
“Why not? I love you, don’t I?” I said.
“Yeah,” Sophie said. She looked down at her feet and smiled. “You do,” she said.
“So how could I go out with somebody else if I’m in love with you?” I said. My voice was trembling. I was getting kind of emotional.
“Wow,” Sophie said, looking up at me once more. “You’re incredible.”
She ran her fingers through my hair and kissed me again. “What about you?” I said. “Are you going out with anybody?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “You know how it is.”
She looked up at It’s a Small World as we started to walk by. It has all these bizarre little clocks spinning on the front of it. I wanted to ask Sophie what she’d meant when she said, “You know how it is,” but she grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the entrance.
“Hey, let’s go in here,” she said. “I bet we could do it in here.”
“Sophie,” I said. “You’re kidding.”
“No, I’m serious,” she said. “I know this guy who said he did it in It’s a Small World. There’s a place you can jump out of your boat. It’s just behind the Eiffel Tower.”
From inside the ride I could hear that song, that horrible song that goes on and on and on inside of It’s a Small World. I wasn’t sure I wanted to have sex while listening to that song. I wasn’t sure I wanted to have sex in It’s a Small World at all. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go into It’s a Small World even if we didn’t have sex.
“No way,” I said, but Sophie was running for the entrance and I had to follow her. There wasn’t much of a line for It’s a Small World. Probably with good reason.
Our little boat set sail into the ride. It was kind of like a little United Nations on heroin. Lots of little dolls from different countries danced around us and sang that repetitive song in their native tongues. I felt like I was going insane.
Then Sophie grabbed me and kissed me harder than she ever had before. “Jonah,” she whispered. “I want to do it now.”
“Now?” I said. I didn’t like this one bit, but I didn’t want to stop either, in case it happened, and in case it was better than I could have hoped for.
Sophie pulled away from me and peered into the ride. “Listen,” she said. “They’re singing in French.”
We floated into Gay Paree. Ahead of us was the Eiffel Tower, but there was no good way of getting to it. You can’t just jump out of your boat. The Disney people have probably thought all this through. I mean, if people are going to jump out of a boat in It’s a Small World and have sex anywhere, the most likely place to do it in is in France, right?
“We can’t get there,” I said, and I was kind of relieved.
“Jesus,” said Sophie. “If you can’t do it in Paris, then I don’t know where you can do it.”
We were drifting away from Paris now.
“Hey, Jonah, where are you going to college?” Sophie said.
“I don’t know. It’s a year away for me. I’m a junior, remember?” I reminded her.
“Yeah. I just wondered what your plans were,” she said. “Hey, maybe you could go where I go, okay? I mean, that way we could be together.”
“Where do you think you’re going to go?” I said.
“I don’t know. I’m applying to a bunch of places,” she said.
“You think you’re going to go to UCF?” I asked.
“Nah. The guys there are so lame,” said Sophie. “I got into a fight with this one guy when I was there, and I had to hit him in the face with an ashtray.”
I had this very clear picture of Sophie hitting someone in the face with an ashtray. There was definitely something scary about her.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Sometimes I think college just makes guys stupider.”
Suddenly, at that exact moment, all the lights in It’s a Small World went out. The boat we were in ground to a halt. The music stopped. The emergency lights flickered on.
“Whoa,” Sophie said. “Somebody just pulled the plug!”
“Attention, please,” said a calm, amplified voice. “There has been a temporary loss of power on this attraction. Please remain in your boat. We will have power restored in a moment.”
“Jonah,” said Sophie. “It’s our chance!”
“Our what?” I said.
“Come on!”
She stood up and jumped from the boat onto this small platform. In the distance I could see the dim shape of the Eiffel Tower.
“Sophie,” I said. “Get back in the boat!”
“Come on, Jonah,” she said. “Take a chance, will ya?”
Knowing it was the wrong thing to do, I stood up and followed her.
We walked through the streets of Paris together. All around us in dim shadows were French bakeries and tiny little men with goatees and ascots drinking wine. Tiny little French girls with silk stockings stood frozen at the door to the Moulin Rouge. We cut behind some buildings and soon, there we were beneath the tower.
Sophie sat down and pulled off her panties. “Je t’aime,” she whispered to me, and reached up and pulled me down to my knees.
We kissed and she reached down and undid my belt buckle. “Jonah,” she whispered. Her eyes were closed. She lay back, pulling me down on top of her. “Jonah,” she said again. “I love you.”
In the distance I heard people on the ride, stuck in their boats, calling out for help.
Sophie sat up and pulled her T-shirt off over her head. A second later, her bra was lying beneath the Eiffel Tower.
I pulled my T-shirt off, too. Our chests rubbed against each other.
“This is definitely . . . something,” I whispered. It struck me as one of the stupider things I’d ever said, but I didn’t care.
“We’re going to remember this our entire lives,” Sophie whispered back.
Of course she was right. At least, I will.
I still had a condom in my wallet. It was one I’d bought to use with Posie, and never got to use. For just a second I felt bad, remembering Posie.
“Here,” Sophie said, reaching for the condom. “Let me help.”
Sophie ripped open the package. I stared up at the ceiling of It’s a Small World. From where we were, behind the scenes, it looked like the backstage of a high school auditorium. Sophie pressed the unwrapped condom into my hand and kissed me.
“Okay,” she whispered. “Now, let’s do it.”
“Okay,” I said.
Sophie lay back with her arms over her head. I knelt beside her.
“Jona
h,” she moaned. “Please.” Her eyes were closed.
I stayed like that for a second. Frozen. The whole world was echoing with weird, distant sounds. People on the ride were crying for help. Kids were making ghost sounds. Children were bawling.
“Jonah,” Sophie said, and this time her voice caught in her throat. “Please.” I looked down at her face. Tears were streaming from her eyes.
“Sophie,” I said. “Are you okay?”
“Jonah, dammit,” she said. “Just do it. Please. I want you.”
Poor Sophie, I thought.
And then all the lights blinked on. The boats started to move. The French people started singing the It’s a Small World song again.
I saw that I was kneeling on a piece of plywood with a pale, naked girl lying beneath me, lit by fluorescent lights. Sophie had a purple-and-yellow bruise on one leg I hadn’t noticed before. Behind the tower was a pump of some sort, and the machinery started grinding into action once more.
It wasn’t exactly romantic.
The condom felt cold and clammy in my hand. I dropped it on the plywood floor. I couldn’t go through with it, not like this.
“Jonah,” Sophie pleaded. “Please.”
I just looked at her sad eyes and wiped one of her tears away with the side of my thumb.
“Are we going to do it or not?” Sophie said impatiently.
I shook my head.
“I don’t think so,” I said.
“Fine,” she said, sitting up. “I thought you loved me.”
She pulled her shirt on over her head. She pulled on her underwear.
“Sophie,” I said. “Wait.”
“Go to hell,” she said, and dashed off. I pulled my clothes back on and took off after her. I ran through the streets of Paris, but I couldn’t find her. Ahead of me were the boats from the ride, full of passengers. I couldn’t see our boat anymore, but that’s because it must have moved out of Paris by now. This couple was necking in front of me. I jumped into their boat.
“Hey,” said the guy. He was absolutely huge, huger than Sullivan the Giant, huger than Lamar Jameson. “What do you think you’re doing?”