by Jenna Jacob
“That’s enough,” James growled. “You’re not going to speak to her like that.”
“No. You’re not. In fact, you should leave now,” Ian warned.
“I don’t take orders from anyone. You two motherfuckers need to get some fucking clothes on and get the hell out of my house before I lose my temper.”
James launched from the bed, but didn’t charge Ryan. Instead, he stood like a statue, as if trying to decide if he wanted to use his words to diffuse the situation, or his hands—which were clenched into fists.
“We’ll leave when the lady asks us to leave,” James countered between clenched teeth.
“Lady?” Ryan threw back his head and laughed. “She’s no lady. She’s a fucking slut—just like her mother—a worthless bunch of slutty holes you two cowboys filled with come. Playtime is over. Get the fuck out. Now!”
Ian growled and bolted off the bed, positioning himself between Ryan and me. No way did I intend to sit there while the three of them turned my bedroom into a wrestling ring.
“No! You get out, Ryan. Leave my house and don’t ever come back,” I ordered.
Scurrying off the mattress, I stormed past Ian, who gripped my arm and shoved me behind him. James rounded the bed. The two men moved in toe-to-toe with Ryan. Standing on tiptoes, I peered over Ian’s shoulder and watched my ex raise his head, sizing up his opposition. Fury drained from his face and he turned a bit pale. James and Ian had a good four or five inches on him, and a hell of a lot more muscle.
“That’s right,” Ian taunted in a patronizing tone. “You’re outweighed and outnumbered. I’d think real hard if I were you.”
“Let me tell you how this is going to end,” James enlightened him in a menacing tone. “You can either turn around and walk out or we can have you carried out on a stretcher. We’ll even give you ten seconds to make up your mind.” The evil glee laced in James’ voice was frightening.
“Don’t mistake our generosity for weakness, you stupid son of a bitch,” Ian snarled.
Ryan pinned me with a brief but livid stare. Clenching his teeth, he turned and stormed out of the room. The echo of the front door slamming reverberated through the house. My knees turned to jelly, and I trembled uncontrollably as I stumbled back and plopped onto the edge of the bed.
Anger, shock, and guilt pinged through me while Ryan’s vile and demeaning words swirled through my head. Ian and James sat down next to me, wrapped their arms around me, and didn’t say a word. They didn’t have to… I could feel the rage rolling off them.
“I’m sorry. That was ugly and awkward,” I mumbled.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Liz,” James assured me.
“No, you don’t. So that’s the guy you were in a relationship with?” Ian asked, arching his brows in disbelief. “James told me about him, but I pictured someone a lot different.”
“Yes.” I cringed.
“Did he ever beat you?” Ian asked in a soft whisper.
“No. God no. In fact, I’ve never seen him like that before. I don’t know what reaction I expected… I mean, I think I just devastated the man, but I—I didn’t think he’d come back. This isn’t how I wanted to end things with him. Yes, I suspected he’d be disappointed we were through, but… I don’t know where all that anger came from. He’s usually very laid back and…”
“Don’t make excuses for him, Liz,” James replied. “He’s a grown man who walked away from you for months, this time. Now that you’ve moved on with your life, he’s acting like a child who has lost his favorite toy.”
“Only a self-centered prick would think you’d be sitting here waiting for him to come back after so long,” Ian added with a snarl.
I knew they were right. But it didn’t keep the guilt from sluicing through my veins or clashing with the ice that remained from the vulgar names he’d called me. My mother’s voice joined the fray inside my head. ‘Good girls don’t…’ The memories made my skin crawl. I had the sudden urge to take a shower and scrub away the layers of shame coating my flesh.
“I appreciate you standing up to Ryan for me. I—I need some time to sort this out in my head. I hope you understand, but I think it would be best if you both left.”
I darted a glance at James and saw his jaw tick in anger.
“If you need to sort, we’re your sounding boards, little one,” Ian countered.
“We’re not going to let you sit here and work this out alone.”
James wore a look of determination. Though the thought of peeling back the layers of my past wasn’t something I particularly wanted to share with them, I knew I couldn’t sway them to leave. Honesty came with a price and I’d pay it, with my pride.
I sucked in a deep breath before exhaling loudly through my mouth. “I feel guilty for hurting him, and for putting you two in the middle of it all.”
“That’s understandable.” James nodded. “But what makes you happy? Being with Ryan? With us? Or alone?”
A weak smile curled the corners of my mouth. “I must not be showing you, or saying how much you both mean to me if you have to ask me that.”
“Answer the question,” Ian demanded.
“It’s more than happiness with you two,” I confessed. “It’s like my whole world has righted itself. The grass is greener, the air crisper, even the birds chirpier. God, I sound like a damn Hallmark card.”
“It is pretty damn remarkable, isn’t it?” James smiled.
“Yes, but I feel horrible for hurting him like that. Ryan doesn’t like confrontation or conflict. So I know that by the way he behaved, I’ve crushed him.”
“Maybe you don’t know him as well as you think you do,” James cautioned.
“No. I know him.” I shook my head. “After he cools off, I need explain it’s over between us. Like I wanted to do after he left, but the jerk wouldn’t answer his damn phone. Now that he’s back, I guess I’ll have to do that face to face.”
“I agree; you do need to talk to him. But you’re not going to do it alone. Understood?” James quirked a brow as if daring me to argue.
“He’s not going to hurt me, if that’s what you’re worried about. We’ll talk. I’ll tell him it’s over and he’ll walk away…this time for good.”
“Don’t be so sure, Liz,” James cautioned. “We wouldn’t walk away from you until we’d exhausted every option.”
His pledge warmed my heart. I felt as if he’d reached inside my chest and held it in the palm of his hand. His unwavering desire to protect me touched deep. Reaching up, I cupped his handsome face and straightened as I leaned in and kissed his sensual lips.
“Ryan has no other option,” I assured.
“Maybe. But you’re still not going to meet with him alone. Are we clear about that, little one?” Ian stressed. The concern suffusing his words blasted louder than a foghorn.
Savoring James’ kiss a few seconds longer, I eased back and nodded at Ian. “Yes, Sir. But it’s going to be a very awkward conversation, if you two are sitting there drilling Ryan with angry stares.”
“No. You’ll set up the meeting on our turf. Someplace public, like Maurizio’s for instance. We’ll sit at the bar while you talk to Ryan,” James explained. “Neither Ian nor I will interfere unless things start to turn ugly.”
It would still be awkward and I knew it. In order to appease them, I would go along with the plan. Hopefully Ryan wouldn’t balk or refuse to talk to me under the scrutiny of my Doms.
“And another thing, we’re not comfortable leaving you here alone,” Ian stated.
“I’m fine. Really. I have things to do today.”
“Like what?” James asked.
“Well, I need to find the paperwork and key for the storage unit I put Ryan’s things in after he left.”
“What if he comes back and we’re not here?” James asked, not bothering to mask his worry.
“I changed the locks months ago. He can’t get in.”
“How did he get in today?” Ian quizzed.
<
br /> “I forgot to lock the door when we came running in from the rain.” I shrugged. “I’ll lock everything up after you both leave. I swear.”
Ian frowned and shook his head.
“Pack up some things and find what you need for Ryan. You’re coming to stay at my place for a few days,” James instructed. When I opened my mouth to explain that wasn’t necessary, he pressed a finger to my lips. “Having you with us will make Ian and me feel a whole lot better.”
While touched by his need to protect, a part of me felt smothered. All I really wanted was some down time to process everything that had happened. But the two stubborn men next to me weren’t about to let that fly.
“I’ll go with you, under one condition.”
“Giving ultimatums are you, girl?” Ian smirked.
“No. I’m negotiating.” I grinned.
“What’s the condition?” he asked dryly.
“I need some time to think. Alone. Like soaking in a nice long bubble bath. Is that too much to ask?”
“Not at all,” James ceded.
“Okay. Let me pull everything together and pack a bag so I’m not late for work tomorrow. I’ll meet you two in an hour or so.”
“Sounds like you think our negotiations are over,” Ian snorted, sarcastically.
“Hrmm,” James grunted. “We’ll wait. Ian can ride in your car while you follow me back to my place.”
His dark eyes still teemed with anger and unease. It chafed that my inability to deal with Ryan long ago, and throwing the weight of my excess baggage into our relationship was the cause of James and Ian’s discontent.
Rising from the bed, I wiggled between James’ thighs. Cupping his head, I pressed my lips to his and closed my eyes. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I felt the tension melt from his flesh. My heart soared as he stroked my lips with his tongue then moaned as I opened my mouth to glaze my tongue over his. He was power, control, and command, but in his kiss I tasted tenderness, passion, and the sweet, delicate traces of love. There were far too many logical reasons that I shouldn’t have lost my heart so soon to either man. But reality, like an impenetrable fortress, stood strong before me; I was in love with them.
The depth of my need for them didn’t scare me, and I realized there was nothing dirty or obscene about my feelings for them. They both accepted all of me, unconditionally. It had been years since I had felt whole. The need to sequester myself and organize the upheaval Ryan had laid at my feet vanished. I didn’t want to spend another minute isolated and alone. For the first time in a long time, I wanted to stop existing and grab all the joy, laughter, sadness, and tears I could possibly hold with these amazing men, and never let go.
I wanted to live again—something I’d stopped doing after Dayne had died. Yes, I’d put one foot in front of the other, but for all intents and purposes, I’d been a zombie of sorts. No wonder Ryan accused me of not liking sex. I’d never let him touch me on anything but a surface level. Never sought his affection, simply his company, so I didn’t have to face each day alone.
But James and Ian had opened the doors I’d been hiding behind. Dusted off the fragmented pieces of my heart and mended it back together. They’d coaxed me from self-imposed prison and into a bright and beautiful light.
“What has you so deep in thought?” Ian asked as he stood and moved in behind me.
Enveloped in his warmth, I let out a blissful sigh. “Just doing a bit of self-evaluation, I suppose.”
“We expect you to share your revelations with us later, little one,” Ian said as he cupped my breasts.
Rolling the beaded peaks of my nipples between his fingers and thumbs, Ian pinched the throbbing peaks. James stared into my eyes and cupped my mound in his palm.
“I’ll be right back,” Ian whispered before releasing my nipples with a tiny squeeze.
James pulled me in closer, then latched his mouth over the tingling arc Ian had left behind. Basking in the sinful pleasure of James’ mouth, I didn’t hear Ian return, only felt his body press against my back once more.
“Where did you go?” I asked, my voice husky and low.
“To lock the fucking front door,” he snarled.
Sinking his teeth into the flesh of my neck, Ian swirled his tongue over his bite, mitigating the sting. They both strived to remove the remnants of my confrontation with Ryan, and I let them. Lulled beneath their seductive spell, my worries blew away like leaves in the wind.
Relinquishing my all to their strong, masterful hands and skillful mouths, the sexual tension soared. Each touch, kiss, and caress roared through me like a tiger freed from its cage. And when they rocked their thick, bare erections into my pussy and ass, I tossed back my head and screamed. Flesh-to-flesh, I didn’t know where I ended and they began, and I didn’t care.
The addicting burn they contrived climbed through me, eradicating the moral ghosts that had haunted me all my life. James and Ian had shown me that I possessed the power to break the chains of my past, and I was determined to sever them for good. Surrendering everything into their capable, benevolent hands, I soared past the heavens and stars.
I begged through each labored breath and whimper. Finally, Ian roared the command for me to come. And as James thrust deep inside my pussy, he fused his lips with mine, swallowing my screams as Ian yelled through his release and spilled deep inside my ass.
Collapsing onto the bed, we lay spent and sated, as we worked to even out our ragged breathing. My limbs felt like rubber. I closed my eyes as their warm bodies blanketed mine and drifted off to sleep.
In my dream, I was floating in a boat at sea, swaying back and forth as water sprayed over my face. Opening my eyes, I discovered James had me in his arms, stepping into the shower. Steam swirled around us, intensifying the misty fog still hovering in my brain.
“I guess I lied to the cougar at breakfast,” I murmured. “You two put me in a coma.”
They both started laughing as a half-drunken smile curled on my lips. James set me on my feet before he and Ian proceeded to cover every inch of my flesh with their sudsy, soap-covered hands. I drank in each blissful caress, moaning in delight as Ian massaged shampoo into my scalp. As far as I was concerned, this nirvana never needed to end.
But I knew one day the sizzling electricity of our relationship would sputter and die out to a normal, monotonous routine—they all did, didn’t they? But until such time, I’d trek down the path with James and Ian and savor each second, without a single regret.
Feeling revitalized after my pampered shower, I gathered up my things, and the three of us started toward James’ house. The storm had passed and the setting sun cast vibrant hues of orange and copper in the sky.
Ian was unusually quiet sitting next to me as I trailed behind James in his big truck. Instead of trying to guess or worrying that I’d done something to disappoint him, I reached down and clasped Ian’s hand.
“Is something wrong?” I asked, breaking the silence.
“No, I was just thinking,” he replied with a reassuring smile.
“About?”
“Ryan.”
“What about him?”
“I’m trying to wrap my head around why a beautiful, intelligent, independent woman like yourself hooked up with him in the first place?”
So Ian had been ruminating about my psyche, not his own. “It sounds cowardly, but I needed someone to prop me up, to help me through a really dark time in my life. My brother committed—”
“James told me about Dayne,” Ian interrupted. “Surely you worked through the stages of grief long ago, though, didn’t you?”
“I don’t know. I think I went through the motions, but never truly accepted the fact that I wasn’t there to…” My voice cracked. Guilt weighed like an anvil.
“To save him?” Ian asked.
“Yes.”
“You honestly think you could have saved him, don’t you?”
“I know I could have.”
“No. You may have managed to p
ostpone the inevitable, but you couldn’t have saved him, not ultimately. People make their own choices, regardless of what we think is best for them.”
“I don’t agree with you. I know I could have convinced Dayne that checking out wasn’t an option.”
“How? Guilt him into living a life he no longer wanted to?”
Ian’s words landed like a slap to the face. Shrinking back, I took my hand off his and placed it back on the steering wheel.
“I’m sorry. That was harsh.” Ian’s tone was suffused with apology. “What I’m trying to say is that, right or wrong, fair or un-rational, it was his choice. You weren’t responsible for his actions.”
“Yes, I was,” I barked. “I was his caretaker before he even graduated high school. He was my brother, he relied on me, and I failed him.” Guilt made my throat constrict and my words sound thick. “Let’s talk about something else, can we? Something pleasant.”
“Evading the topic isn’t going to make it go away.”
“Discussing it won’t change the facts either.” I gripped the steering wheel tightly.
“So you stayed with Ryan because...?”
“Just because.” My reply was curt. Final. The discussion was over.
Irritation darted across Ian’s eyes, then vanished. He fell silent, which chafed even more. I suspected he was plotting some unpleasant punishment. Fine. Bring it. I could take anything he wanted to dish out, but I wasn’t going to let him continue to pluck at the raw nerves still pulsing inside me.
“Communication is non-negotiable. That applies to all subjects, Liz. Even the ones you don’t like to reexamine,” Ian murmured as he drew his finger down my cheek.
“I know that. I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I don’t mean to shut you out—”
“Then don’t,” Ian replied softly. “For this relationship to work, there has to be total honesty among us, about everything. Not just the easy stuff, but the hurtful and hard topics as well. Full disclosure…total honestly. There’s no foundation to build on without it. If you’re not willing to give that, we three need to cut our losses. Move on before we invest any more time, energy, or emotion.”