“To Ari, a true artist, friend, wife and soon-to-be awesome mother.”
I don’t know if it’s because I feel like I’m ruining dinner or what, but my heart aches a bit when he says the word “friend” as he gazes at Ari. Obviously, he cares a lot about her. I’m not jealous. They’re family. They’re close. Maybe I’m a little jealous but not in a romantic way.
“Couldn’t have said it any better, little bro.” Mason nods proudly at Justice.
We all clink glasses and sip.
“Thank you all, for being here. It means a lot.” She picks up her menu and opens it, looking down. “Now, let’s stop talking about me and get some food.” She peeks up from her menu. “Then we’re going to get back to the two of you and figure this whole…relationship out.”
Justice and I exchange a look but don’t comment. I feel relief when Mason turns the conversation to their family construction business, that is, until I see the look on Justice’s face. While his brother does seem loving and proud, now the fatherly side has come out as he pressures Justice to take an active role.
“So, you’ve actually built houses before?” I ask him, hoping to take the pressure off.
“Don’t sound so surprised. I have lots of skills.”
God, I bet he does. The way he said the word alone gave me goosebumps, but it was the look in his eyes when he said it that had my face feeling flush. I just pray no one noticed. I wouldn’t mind seeing just what Justice can do with those hands.
Justice tries to explain to his brother that he’s not going to join the family business. He briefly talks about being a personal trainer, and I find it a little odd how he quickly changes the subject to the fundraiser. At least that’s a safe topic for everyone. Until Ari points out how much Justice and I have in common.
“The two of you are both tall, gorgeous, former models who are trying to follow your passions…”
“Yeah, I guess so,” Justice says and looks at me expectantly. When his hand slides over mine under the table, I don’t move it…because it feels like the most natural thing in the world.
Chapter 8
Justice
Turner is sitting at the piano, Curtis next to him, playing one of only two songs he knows—Open Arms by Journey. It sounds impressive, though, and he and I are the only ones who know he’s no musician and learned that song from a YouTube video. That old piano was his grandparents, and they’d paid for him to have lessons when we were younger. He was more interested in throwing the football and playing video games. At least one of those turned out well for him.
Curtis belts out the chorus. I shouldn’t be surprised he has a great voice. There’s nothing that man isn’t good at. Turner laughs and his smile is golden. I really have missed that dumb-ass, and it feels good to have a place I can call home.
Though, when I was on my hands and knees using a Dustbuster on the tile entryway earlier, I started to have second thoughts about living with Turner. Not only could I not talk him out of having this house-warming party, I had to get the place ready according to Turner’s specifications—and that meant spotless.
A couple of people from Turner’s work come into the kitchen, where I’ve been perched at the counter, and I get them beers. I volunteered as the unofficial bartender because more of these people are Turner’s work and school friends.
We’re not running low, but I head to the garage for another case of beer, hoping to keep my mind busy and my eyes from watching the front door. When I get back, Turner grabs the case of Sierra Nevada pale ale from my hands. “Come on, man, you’re not the hired help.” He sets it on the counter and turns to me. “Sorry, I know there’s some people here you don’t know, but that never stopped you before. Mingle.”
“What? I’m having fun. I just met, uh, Suzi…or Sara. Something like that.”
Turner narrows his eyes at me.
“I don’t know. The one with the super skinny boyfriend.”
“Yeah, that’s Sierra.”
I snap my fingers. “Yeah, her. You know, they’re not as nerdy as I thought they’d be.” Turner scored a position at one of the Sony Entertainment divisions as a computer engineer after doing a two-year internship there in college. They even let him work remotely while he was in Europe.
He scoffs and opens the case of beer before placing it in the fridge. “Not sure how I should take that…since I’m one of them and all.”
“Did I hear someone say nerd?”
Turner and I spin to find Logan and Mollie standing there.
“Holy crap, you actually came.” My smile couldn’t be brighter seeing my brother and sister-in-law here. Especially after just seeing Mason recently. I hug Mollie first and then give one to Logan, slapping him on the back. The two of them greet Turner as well.
“It’s good to see you again, Turner,” Mollie says. “It’s been a long time.”
Turner goes to shake Logan’s hand, but he pulls him into a hug. The two gave each other hell when I was growing up, but based on the look on their faces, they have a little space in their hearts for each other.
“Thanks for coming, guys,” Turner says.
“We were visiting Mollie’s aunt,” Logan says. “She’s not far from here, so it was easy to swing by.”
“Well I’m glad you didn’t inconvenience yourself,” Turner says sarcastically.
Molly giggles and Logan grips my shoulder. “Had to see my little bro.”
Turner rolls his eyes. “Thanks, Lo.”
“And you too, T. Honestly, I can’t believe you made it this far in life,” he says, glancing around the place. Mollie slaps him in the gut. “What? It’s a compliment.”
“In what world?” Turner asks.
Logan grins and goes to his side. “You know, back in the day, I would have taken you down to the ground,” he says, hooking an arm around his neck. The two lock eyes and I’m actually proud of Turner for showing not an ounce of intimidation against the former soldier. A second later, they both laugh. “Seriously, Turner, Justice has kept me updated on your life and I have to say, you’ve done well for yourself. Better than I expected.”
Turner pulls away and gives him the eye.
“What? That was another compliment.”
Turner shakes it off. “Mollie, it’s great seeing you. I’m going to go to let you guys catch up with J.” He turns to me. “Be a good host and get them some drinks.”
When he’s gone, I grab them both beers, and the three of us hang in the kitchen, talking mostly about their three-year-old girl, Maddie. Though I was there for the birth—completely hung over and probably still drunk—I haven’t seen her much since; that thought, above all else, hits me straight in the gut. “Guys, I know I haven’t visited much…”
“It’s okay,” Mollie says, reaching out to touch my forearm.
“Yeah, I mean, between your career and your girlfriend, you must be freaking swamped,” Logan deadpans.
Since we both know I don’t have either at this point, we lock eyes in a silent conversation before I sigh and cave. “I know. But I’m not really in the mood for a lecture or your tough love shit right now, Lo.”
“Why do you think we came?”
“What the hell?”
“It wasn’t the only reason,” Mollie puts in. “We miss you.”
“Yeah, but still. When is a good time for you to talk about all this? Mase said he didn’t get much time to give you the hard sell on working with us.”
My brothers have always been stand-in fathers for me. Not that my dad wasn’t good to me. Our family has been through a lot and when dad lost his second wife, my mother, Mason and Logan stepped up and were always there for me. But times like this make it difficult to be grateful for that. “I don’t know. Maybe I can pencil you in next kiss my ass.” Like I need to be reminded that my life has been like a game of fifty-two pick up. I’ve got all the cards in my hands, but I just keep tossing them all in the air and watching pieces fall to the ground.
I try to avert my gaze to Mo
llie, but I can see Logan shake his head in my periphery.
“If it makes you feel any better,” Mollie says, “he said the same thing to Ryder on the phone the other day.”
I chuckle and actually break a smile. “Yeah, we’re a couple of shitty brothers…and uncles.” Ryder has been on the road, chasing his dream of being a Nascar driver, but so far, we’ve seen no evidence of that as he falls off the radar for months at a time.
“It’s not about that.” Logan takes a long pull from his beer. “Yeah, I wish I could see you more. We all do. But we at least need to know you’re doing okay.” He eyes me cautiously, as if what he’s about to say is a volatile topic. “I know football was out of your hands. You can’t help what your body did. But everything after… Quitting school, quitting modeling—”
“Shit, Lo, you really wanted me to be a model?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Just because you’re taller than me now, doesn’t mean I stop feeling like you’re my little brother and don’t watch out for you.”
I love that even as a husband and father, he’s still worried about my ass, but at the same time, I don’t want to cause him concern. Then, why the hell didn’t I just tell him I’m officially back in school? I’m only taking two courses online, but I’ve been afraid to tell any of my family in case I don’t follow through. Though I’m determined, I’m not at the point of trusting myself. “You just take care of your girls, man. I’m good. Trust me.”
He smiles and puts his arm around Mollie. “No trouble there. I know it feels like I’m on your case…”
“You think?”
“Well, maybe if you stopped doing dumb shit… Plus, it’s not just me. Dad, Gramps, everyone is wondering when you’re going to come home for a visit. Last few times we saw you, you…well, you just weren’t yourself.”
He didn’t say it, but he’s talking about my past partying. I’d invited them to some of the shows, the after parties. He let me know after he didn’t like what he saw. But yeah, that’s in the past. I look away from his piercing gaze, not wanting to see any more disappointment.
“Well I’m myself now, in case you didn’t notice. I’ve got my life back on track… I’m working as a personal trainer…” I’m seconds away from mentioning school when Logan cuts in.
“Working out is not a career. I did it myself for a while.”
I don’t want to argue, and I’m not up for defending myself. Not anymore. Based on who I’ve been my whole life—the brother who screws up—they won’t get it. They won’t see I’ve built a nice client list, and I’m actually respected by my clients. It’s slow but gaining momentum, and I’m fine with that. For now, I won’t get their hopes up.
“That’s great, Justice,” Mollie says. “I’m proud of you.” Then she glares at Logan.
“Yeah, of course. I’m glad you’re holding down a job,” Logan says. “But you know the door at Bridges Construction is always open for you.”
I shake my head. “No, man. I have to do this myself.”
“I’m just saying…if you need some extra work.”
“I don’t.”
“Fine. By the way, Gramps told me to tell you he finally tried that cologne you sent him.”
“Shit, that was like two years ago.” I never used it myself but the client had given Curtis and me bottles to give away.
“Yeah, well, he said to tell you, it stinks like old dirty leather.”
We all laugh. “Great. Thanks for the message. Why don’t you guys grab something to eat? There’s a huge spread in the other room.”
As soon as they walk away, I look around for Kaylee, starting to think maybe she isn’t coming. Suddenly, I’m not feeling so festive. I miss my family, but sometimes when I’m with them, I feel like I’ve been knocked done a wrung. I decide to go out back and get some air.
I pace through the house, avoiding eye contact with everyone I pass. I’m not pissed at Logan. I understand he’s just trying to help. But this party, seeing T in his element, having Logan and Mollie here, reminding me of their perfect little family, is like a big neon sign that I’ve made a lot of wrong turns. Maybe it’s better if Kaylee doesn’t show up.
I take a seat on a patio chair, inhaling a cleansing breath, and stare out into the yard. I don’t feel sorry for myself. I won’t. I’m just anxious to get to a place where people—my family—can be proud of me. Not worry about me. As if I don’t need another reminder that I’m not good enough, Kaylee steps into the backyard. She might be too damn good for me, but her presence is like a balm to my bruised ego and lonely heart. I don’t know how she does it. With little makeup on, she still glows, her natural beauty more brilliant than any painted-up model.
“Are you out here hiding?” she says, stepping up to the patio table.
“Maybe.” I pull back the chair next to me and gesture with my head for her to sit.
When she does, I lean forward on my elbows and turn my head to face her. “Thanks for coming. Sorry I wasn’t in there to greet you.”
She throws some hair back over her shoulder. “I’m a big girl. I think I can handle it.”
I just nod and we watch each other for a few moments before she squints at me. “What’s up with you today?”
I shake my head. “Nothing.”
“Right. No sarcasm for me? No attitude?”
I give her a tight-lipped grin. “I thought we were past all that.” Though it was entertaining, even exciting at times to have her wrath directed at me, I much prefer the chance to get to know the real Kaylee. My hesitation comes from her getting to know the real me. What she sees on the surface, what she’s always thought of me, is not far from the reality. I don’t know if I can handle seeing that disappointment in her eyes when she finally figures that out. Shit, I’m probably getting way ahead of myself anyway. Kaylee and I were pushed into this project together, so she could very well be doing whatever it takes to get through it. She really is a sweet girl and is probably just being polite.
Folding her arms, she sits back against her chair, looking at me like she’s not buying it. “Hmm.” Her high cheek bones push up farther as she holds back a grin—Damn, I’d love to lean over and place a kiss on one.
Little by little, she’s shoving back my sour mood. “Well, you’re the one who always starts it anyway… And you’re being nicer to me,” I can’t resist saying.
“Guess I’m off my game.” She lifts a brow. When I don’t reply she says, “Okay, spill. Tell me what’s going on or I’ll revert to evil Kaylee.”
“How did you know that’s what I used to call you?” I say, playfully.
She tilts her head like she won’t be distracted.
“Fine. It’s not a big deal. My brother is here.”
“Mason?”
“No, my other brother, Logan.”
“How many brothers do you have, anyway?”
“Three. My two half-brothers are older than me, by a lot. And Ryder is younger. He’s twenty. But Mason and Logan have been like fathers to me at times.”
“I have an older brother too. They can be annoying. I’m sure whatever he said, he didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Who says I’m hurt?” I say, narrowing my eyes on her.
She throws her hands up in a surrender gesture. “Whoa.”
“Sorry. It’s more than that. And I can’t blame Logan. They think I’m a screw up and bailing on the family. They’re probably worried I’m going nowhere fast, since I left school and modeling.”
“You never finished telling me why you left modeling.”
I knew the moment would arrive when Kaylee wanted to know more about me, but I’m not sure I’m ready to let her down. I avert my gaze toward the backyard. “I left because…” My heart is in my throat because this is Kaylee, dammit. The most perfect thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. Inside and out. I already pale in comparison to her. And now this…
“Hey, you don’t have to tell me. Unless you want to.”
I turn back to her, needing to
man up and do this. “I want to. I need to own it. I left because my partying was out of control. I felt like I was on a constant high and whenever I started to come down, I couldn’t deal with everyday life. I even showed up to shoots drunk or high sometimes.” I sigh, a mix of relief and trepidation warring inside me. I examine her eyes, her mouth, unable to find any hint of judgement. “I know I can’t blame the business. But it’s where it all started, so I needed to separate myself from it.”
“I don’t mean to overstep, but do you think maybe you were trying to sabotage your modeling career because it wasn’t football?”
My mouth falls open and I just stare at her.
“I’m sorry I shouldn’t—”
“No, it’s okay. I just… I never thought about that.” For some reason a smile comes to my lips. “You sure writing is your thing, because I’m thinking you have some skills in psychology.”
“So you think that’s what happened? At least in part?”
“I don’t know. I always played it off like I was fine with losing my dream. Maybe I was in denial. I stayed in school for a while, but not having that scholarship my last year was overwhelming. Once I dropped out, that’s when I really felt like a failure.”
“Hey, you’re not a failure. I can’t imagine how hard all that was to go through. And even if you didn’t really want to be a model, walking away from all of that couldn’t have been easy when you were doing so well. You were sought after and I’m sure you could have—” Kaylee’s expression shadows, as if she realized she was basically outlining everything I lost.
“Hey, it’s cool. It all became tainted anyway. I lost respect for myself. I needed a clean start.”
“So your family doesn’t know why you left modeling?”
I shake my head but that’s not totally accurate. “Not really, but you’d think they would be happy. They saw me a few times at some shows. My shining moment was when I showed up to my niece’s birth, still drunk.”
She leans forward, balancing an elbow on her knee, her other hand reaching to touch my arm. “But they’re your family. They love you, no matter what. And the important part is that now you’ve turned things around. You should be proud of yourself for starting a new business and building it from nothing.”
Beautiful Bridges (Bridges Brothers Book 3) Page 7