I almost laughed at the idea. “She’s my mom. It’s a miracle she waited this long.”
“I’ll go let them in,” Austin told you.
“I’ll go with you,” Xander added. “It’s time for me to leave.”
He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek on the way by. “I’m glad you’re okay, Piper. Don’t overdo it.”
“I’ll try,” was my quiet reply.
Chapter 63
Austin
The last time I’d seen Piper’s mom she’d been bent over the kitchen table in my parents’ home. It had been right before I’d fucked things up with Piper. To the best of my knowledge, no one other than Piper and my dad knew I’d seen the kitchen tryst, and I preferred to keep it that way.
When I opened the door, Piper’s mom immediately launched herself into my arms. She looked a great deal like Piper, with red hair and green eyes. Her dad had aged a lot since I’d last seen him. His hair was graying and thinning near the front. Still, he looked fit, likely due to his labor-intensive job.
“Thank you so much for taking care of my baby,” her mom whispered. “I can’t believe this happened.”
I patted her back awkwardly before replying. “You don’t have to thank me. I love your daughter.”
“When Piper said you were talking again, I knew you’d end up together,” her mom told me.
“You did?” I asked as I stepped aside so they could enter.
“My wife is a bit of a romantic,” Piper’s dad explained.
“Piper’s in the kitchen finishing up her dinner,” I explained before showing them the way to the kitchen.
I had to hand it to Piper’s parents. They were both a lot calmer than I would have been under the circumstances. After Piper ate, we all settled into my living room and had a relatively normal conversation, until her mom decided to talk about Piper’s crush on me. Piper was obviously embarrassed.
“I think we’ve discussed my humiliating crush on Austin enough,” Piper interrupted.
“You can tell me more stories later,” I stage whispered to her mom, earning me a groan from Piper. “I wish I hadn’t been so foolish all those years ago,” I began seriously. “I wasted a lot of time. Piper is perfect for me.”
A miracle happened—she didn’t argue.
Chapter 64
Piper
After a few days at Austin’s house, I returned home. He didn’t like it, and he did his best to stay with me every night, but he hadn’t tried to stop me. It was my first day of counseling, and Cerise had insisted on driving me. We were sitting in the small waiting area at the front of the building that housed several other offices.
“I could have driven myself,” I reminded her.
“I know,” she replied. “You’ve spent very little time around me in the last week, and I’m worried about you.”
“Are you going to use the same tactic as Austin?” I asked.
“Which tactic would that be?” she asked.
“The one where you make me think I’m doing you a favor by letting you help me.”
“I hadn’t planned on doing that,” she replied thoughtfully. “Does it work?”
“It worked for Austin, but it won’t work for you,” I told her.
“Much as it pains me to say this, I’m starting to like Austin,” she admitted.
“I had noticed you’ve warmed up to him,” I remarked.
“You mean because I’ve stopped calling him an asshole?” she asked.
“That was a dead giveaway,” I agreed.
“Why are you so determined to keep him from staying at the house every night?” she asked.
“I’m not ready to rely on him that much,” I admitted. “It’s been great having him around, but he’s leaving in a few weeks. I need to be able to get by on my own.”
“You aren’t exactly alone,” she pointed out.
“You’re right. I appreciate all you and Andy do for me. Since the robbery, Austin feels like he has to take care of me all the time. I love him, and I rely on him for a lot, but travel is part of his job. While I know I can handle this, I’m not sure Austin believes I can. He’s acting like he isn’t leaving in a few weeks.”
“I guess this tour is harder since it’s Europe,” she remarked.
“There is that,” I agreed. “It’s not as easy for him to fly home to visit me. I think it will be easier for Austin if he can see that I’m going to be fine while he’s gone.”
“Will you be fine?” Cerise asked. “I don’t mean this to come out sounding like you’re weak and can’t survive being away from your man. It’s just that this is not a normal time.”
“This is a tough time, but you were absolutely right when you said I’m not alone,” I stated.
“You’re never alone,” Cerise assured me.
Chapter 65
Austin
It was Piper’s first day back at work, and she wasn’t feeling very well. Her nerves were likely the cause of her nausea. It had been just over two weeks since the attack, and she was doing much better. Still, returning to the place of her attack was a big step, and I worried she wasn’t ready. Thankfully, she wasn’t working a full day, only a few hours to catch up on paperwork and go over details with the staff.
“Earth to Austin,” Harley called out.
“What?” I asked when I looked over at her.
“We’ve been playing for nearly five minutes,” Xander answered for her. “We were all wondering when you planned to join in with the drums.”
“Shit,” I muttered. “Sorry. I’m distracted today.”
“It seems we should have called in your back-up,” Gage added.
“Have you talked to Piper about Corey and your plans for the European tour?” Harley asked.
I’d been working with Corey, the drummer from the opening band of our last tour, for months. He was good, and we’d decided he could be used as a backup for me if I got sick. With everything going on with Piper, we were discussing having him fill in for me during the European tour. Piper was doing her best to convince me she was fine on her own, but I still couldn’t imagine leaving her for two months.
“I haven’t mentioned it yet,” I replied. “There’s been a lot going on. Besides, we haven’t worked out the details or gotten the okay from the label yet. I’m sure they’ll agree. Corey is great on the drums.”
“Corey thinks this is a bad idea,” Gage reminded me
“Piper isn’t going to be happy,” Xander stated.
“Xander’s right,” Harley began before shaking her head and adding, “It always sounds insane when I say that.”
“I’m usually right,” Xander insisted.
“Only in your imagination,” I told him. “Piper is going to be happy that I’m staying behind. She doesn’t want to be alone.”
“She’s not alone,” Harley reminded me.
“And she’s doing great,” Gage stated.
She was doing better. She liked her therapist, and she was trying to get back into the swing of things. Mercy’s release from the hospital had helped. If one only looked at how Piper behaved during the day, they’d assume she was fine. It was at night when I saw she was still having problems. She often woke up from horrible nightmares. I wanted to be there for her when she woke up frightened. I could handle the couple days we were apart each week. The tour was another story. I didn’t want to be away from her that long.
“You don’t think I should stay behind with her?” I asked.
“If she was my girl, I’d do the same thing,” Xander admitted.
“Same here,” Gage agreed.
“Because you’re all idiots,” Harley muttered. “Very sweet idiots, but still idiots.”
“What do you think I should do?” I asked her.
“You should have found out if Piper wanted you to stay behind before you made all these plans,” she replied. “I get that you weren’t sure you could make this work, but she’s not the type to want you making decisions like this without discussing them with
her.”
“It’s my decision to make,” I reminded her.
“How do you think she’ll react to that?” Harley asked. “Don’t answer. Piper is going to be pissed.”
“She is not going to be pissed,” I argued. “Now, let’s practice before I need to pick up Piper from work.”
“Do you think you can play with us this time?” Gage asked.
“Yeah, I’m here now,” I assured him. Harley was wrong. Piper needed me, and she was going to be glad I was staying behind with her.
Chapter 66
Piper
My therapist was great. She was likely in her late forties with a warm smile, short black hair, and glasses that were too big for her face. Each session, she had a way of putting me at ease. We were talking about work, a subject I’d have preferred to avoid.
“I’m working more hours, but I still can’t imagine being at the club late at night,” I admitted. “It hasn’t been that long since I felt safe being there alone. Now, I think back to when Austin got on my case for working late alone, and I can’t believe I was ever that careless. It might have been Seth who slashed my tires. What if I’d caught him doing it? He could have killed me. Sometimes, I wish I could quit my job.”
“It’s possible you’re pushing things,” my therapist told me. “Maybe you aren’t ready to work so many hours.”
“I am ready,” I insisted. “At least, I think I am. I know I’m ready for things to feel normal again. Everything is so different.”
“How are things different?” she prompted when I didn’t elaborate.
“Austin still acts like I’m going to fall apart. I’m dreading and looking forward to him going on tour. He’s great, but there are times when I want him to act like nothing happened. I don’t want him to act like I’m going to freak out if we have sex. I don’t want him to worry because I’m still having nightmares.”
“Have you tried talking to him about this?” she asked.
“Not really,” I admitted. “I should. It’s not like me to hold stuff in this way.”
“You are still recovering from a big trauma,” she began. “You’re entitled to act differently. Just remember that Austin is also recovering. He may not be acting like himself either. I recommend you work on communicating with him about what you need from him.”
“You’re right,” I agreed.
I needed to talk to Austin about what I needed and how I felt.
Chapter 67
Piper
This was the most normal date we’d had since my attack.
“This pizza is so good,” I gushed. “Where did you get it?”
“I’m not telling you,” he replied with a teasing grin. “If I reveal my secret pizza connection, I won’t be able to use it to keep you with me.”
“Ah, so that’s your evil plan,” I deduced with a laugh. “And here I thought you were planning to use sex to get me to stay with you forever.”
It was the wrong thing to say. Sex had been much less wild and passionate since the attack. Austin acted like he’d frighten me if he wasn’t gentle. I didn’t blame him for acting that way. I’d needed that at first, not only because of my ribs, but because of my emotional state. I needed to let him know I was okay with things getting back to normal. No more tiptoeing around the issue. This wasn’t like me.
“Are you excited about your tour?” I asked, deciding we’d finish dinner before I worked on seducing Austin.
“That’s one of the things I wanted to talk to you about tonight,” he began. “The drummer for our opening band has been learning our stuff for the last few months. He’s good.”
“I guess that’s a smart idea in case you get sick,” I replied. “Xander hates filling in for one of you, and I can’t imagine how he’d sing and play drums. I know it can be done, but Xander seems to like bouncing all over the stage when he’s singing. He’d go nuts stuck behind the drums.”
“Xander wouldn’t like being behind my kit for an entire show,” he agreed.
“Why are you so serious?” I asked cautiously. “The band isn’t kicking you out, are they?” The question was ridiculous. Reckless Release was more than a band; they were family. They wouldn’t kick Austin out.
“We’re going to have him play with Reckless Release on the European tour,” Austin explained.
“Why would he need to perform for you on the tour?” I asked slowly. What I wanted to do was tell him he had better not be saying what I thought he was saying. “Are you telling me he’s going to play a few songs to get more experience with the band?”
“I’m not going,” he replied. “It’s something I’ve been negotiating with the label, and it seems they’re going to agree. I may need to be there for some of the bigger shows, but I’ll be here most of the time.”
“Why are you doing this?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level.
“I don’t want to leave you right now,” he explained.
“Because I’m some pitiful victim who needs you to stick by my side and take care of me?” I demanded. I was pissed. No, I was beyond pissed. Austin wanting to stay with me was sweet. Had he come to me with his idea and offered to stay behind, I’d have told him no and thanked him for being so worried about me. He hadn’t done that. Instead, he’d made the decision without even talking to me.
I couldn’t face him anymore. I stood and walked across the room to clean off my plate.
“Calm down, baby,” he soothed, standing to move to my side.
“Fuck you,” I snapped. “Don’t tell me to calm down.” My moods had been all over the place, and I often lost my calm for no reason. According to my therapist, mood swings were to be expected, but this wasn’t a mood-swing. I had good reason to be pissed off at the dumbass, brushing my hair back from my face. “Would you stop petting me?” I pushed him back and glared at him.
I almost felt bad for Austin when I saw his face. He looked hurt and confused.
“Sorry.” Austin looked like he wasn’t sure what to say. “I’m not trying to upset you. I can’t stand the idea of being away from you. What if something happens? I wasn’t there before. I can’t go through that again.”
And then I finally understood Austin’s motivation. This went far beyond simply worrying about how I’d handle things while he was gone. Austin had been on the tour bus when I’d been attacked. When he’d heard about it, he’d had a long ride to get to me. He was still trying to deal with his own issues over what had happened.
I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Austin breathed out a sigh of relief as he held me tightly against his chest.
“I’m sorry,” I uttered against his chest. “I shouldn’t have blown up at you like that.”
“It’s okay,” he assured me. “This is something I probably should have brought up over a week ago, but I wasn’t sure we’d be able to pull it off. I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure I could stay with you.”
Pulling back, I took both of his hands in mine and gave them a gentle squeeze. “You have to go.”
“No, I don’t,” he argued. “Almost everything is arranged. Like I said, I might need to go to a couple of shows, but we should be able to get your passport so you can go with me.”
“Stop! You can’t miss this tour. It’s not fair to your fans. They may never forgive you if you bail on the tour after they’ve already bought tickets. There is no good reason for you to stay behind. If you give up your dream because of what happened to me, it will destroy our relationship. I’ll forever feel like the woman who ruined your life, and eventually, you’ll resent me for it.”
“That’s ridiculous,” he argued. “I won’t blame you for me staying behind.”
“Even if you don’t, I’ll blame myself,” I admitted. “You’ve been great, but we both need some space.”
Austin took a step back, looking even more confused and hurt. “Why do you need space? Everything has been going great. We’re not fighting, and you’re practically living with me.”
“We m
ay not be fighting, but we’re both walking on eggshells,” I pointed out. “We’re afraid to talk about what happened. This is something we both need to work through, and part of working through it involves us both getting back to our normal lives. You are a musician. Touring is what you do. If you skip this tour, you’re going to be looking for an excuse to skip the next one. You can’t do this, Austin.”
Austin looked frustrated. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair before he spoke again. “We don’t need to talk about this tonight. Let’s finish our date. We can talk more about whether I’ll do the tour tomorrow.”
He still didn’t get it. “We aren’t going to discuss this. It would be best if I go home. We can talk more when you get back.”
“The tour doesn’t even start for nearly a week,” Austin argued. “Am I supposed to stop having any contact with you until I get back? How is that going to help things?”
“We’ll still talk,” I promised him, wanting desperately to throw myself in his arms and hold him close. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him, but we weren’t getting anywhere. Austin still believed we’d talk later, and he’d skip the tour. I couldn’t let him do that. “I’ll miss you.”
When I kissed him, he stood frozen for a several breaths before pulling me into his arms and kissing me until I was breathless.
“Don’t go,” he murmured against my lips.
“I have to, but I’ll be here when you get back.” On those words, I turned and walked away.
Chapter 68
Austin
As I watched the woman I loved walk away, a deep ache developed inside of me. I also had a what the fuck moment of wondering why I was letting her walk out the door. Fine, she needed space, but that didn’t mean cutting me off in the middle of our date.
“I don’t think so,” I muttered as I stormed out the door after her.
When Piper turned to face me, she looked surprised. I lifted her in my arms and carried her back into my house.
Rock & Regrets Page 17