“It’s been passed down for several generations. You have the same chance of getting the family recipe out of Mary Ellen as you have of stopping the rotation of the earth. Many folks have tried over the years. There was even a break-in once. Only the recipe book was taken.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. We never did find out who’d done it. Of course, Mary Ellen told everyone who would listen that the fried chicken recipe had been given to her by her mama and no one in the family was ever fool enough to write it down.”
Kari laughed.
Gage smiled slightly, but his humor faded. Talk of things being passed down reminded him of his own situation.
She read his mind. “What did you find out today?”
He wiped his hands on a napkin, then reached for the folder he’d left on the counter. After flipping it open, he read the computer printout.
“Earl Haynes is from a small town in Northern California. Like my mom said, he’s a sheriff, or at least he was. He’s down in Florida now. Retired and living with a woman young enough to be his daughter.”
He flipped the page. “He had four sons by his first marriage, and a daughter by another woman. Apparently old Earl likes getting women pregnant, even if he doesn’t like sticking around.”
“Isn’t it a little early to be judging him so harshly? You don’t know all the circumstances.”
He shrugged. There was no point in explaining that he had a knot in his gut warning him the information about his father wasn’t going to be good.
“Let’s just say the first reports aren’t that impressive,” he told her.
“It’s interesting that he’s a sheriff,” she said. “You went into law enforcement and Quinn went into the military. I wonder if that’s significant.”
He didn’t want it to be. The little he’d learned about Earl Haynes told him that he didn’t want the man to matter at all.
“What about your brothers?” she asked when he didn’t say anything.
He looked at her. “What do you mean?”
“You said Earl Haynes had four sons and a daughter. So you have five half siblings. Four of them are brothers.”
Gage hadn’t thought of that. He’d always regretted that both his parents were only children—there hadn’t been any cousins. Now he suddenly had brothers and a sister.
“Well, hell,” he muttered.
“Do you want to get in touch with them?”
“I don’t know.”
He hadn’t thought that far ahead. He didn’t want to have any part of Earl Haynes or his family.
“Let’s talk about something else,” he said. “Tell me about your day.”
Kari took a bite of mashed potatoes. When she swallowed, she glanced at him from under her lashes. “I didn’t get any painting done,” she admitted. “I was too restless. I went upstairs and started cleaning the attic.”
“Must have been hot.”
She grinned. “It was. Even with all the windows open and a fan going. I found some interesting stuff, though. Old clothes, some jewelry.”
She hesitated, then sighed. “Grammy kept a lot of my old clothes and toys. I was feeling very nostalgic.”
“What did you see there?”
“My old prom dress. I can’t remember how many times I tried it on. I used to put my hair in different styles, then try on the dress to see what looked the best. I wanted everything about that night to be perfect.”
Only, it hadn’t been, he thought sadly. She’d disappeared and he’d been left holding a diamond engagement ring.
“I’m sorry, Gage,” she said softly. “Sorry for running off, sorry for not telling you what I was so afraid of. Mostly I’m sorry for hurting you and leaving you to clean up my mess.”
The words had come years too late, but it was good to hear them. “You don’t have to apologize. I know you didn’t take off just to hurt me.”
“I should have said something. I was just so scared.”
“You had a right to be.” For the first time he could admit the truth. “You were too young. Hell, I was too young. I’d been so sure about what I wanted that I didn’t want to think there might be another side.”
Kari leaned back in her chair and voiced the question she’d asked herself over the years. “I wonder if we would have made it.”
“I don’t know. I like to think we would have.”
“Me, too.”
Kari studied him—his dark eyes, the firm set of his jaw. Tonight his mouth was set…no smile teased at the corner. He participated in the conversation, but she could tell that he was distracted.
Seeing him like this was such a change. The Gage she remembered had always known his place in the world. While the man before her now was still capable and confident, his foundation had shifted. She wondered how he would be affected.
His pain and confusion were tangible. Impulsively, she stretched her hand across the small table and touched his arm. “Tell me what I can do to help,” she said.
“Nothing.” He shrugged. “I don’t think I’m going to be good company tonight.”
The statement surprised her. “I’m not expecting a comedy show,” she said lightly. “I thought—”
She didn’t want to say what she’d thought. That he would stay with her tonight. That they would make love in her small bed, then curl up together and sleep in a tangle of arms and legs. Even if they weren’t intimate, she wanted to be physically close. But Gage was already getting to his feet.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve got a lot to think about. Maybe we can try this in a couple of days if I can take a rain check?”
As he was already standing, she didn’t seem to have much choice. “Sure. I understand.”
And she did. The problem was, she was also disappointed.
He started to collect plates, but she shooed him away. “You brought dinner,” she protested. “I can handle cleanup.”
He nodded and headed for the door. She followed him.
He paused long enough to drop a quick kiss on her forehead and offer a promise to be in touch. Then he was gone. Kari was left standing by herself, wondering what had gone wrong.
Despite the warmth of the evening, a coldness crept through her. They’d made love the previous night and this morning, but tonight Gage hadn’t wanted to stay. Their intimacy obviously hadn’t touched him the same way it had touched her. He’d been able to withdraw and regroup, while she’d…
Kari wasn’t sure what had happened to her. How much of what was happening was due to her personal insecurities and how much of it was Gage withdrawing? Was he really going to a place where she wouldn’t be able to reach him?
She hated the anxiousness that filled her, and the restlessness. She wanted to be with him. Obviously, she’d connected more when they’d made love than she’d realized.
That’s all it was, she told herself as she returned to the kitchen. An emotional reaction to a physical encounter. There was no way she was foolish enough to let her heart get engaged. She’d already fallen in love with Gage once. That had ended badly. She was smart enough not to make the same mistake again.
Wasn’t she?
Kari had barely finished dressing the following morning when there was a loud knocking on her front door. Her heart jumped in her chest as she hurried down the stairs.
Gage, she thought happily, her bare feet moving swiftly as she unfastened the lock and turned the knob.
But the person standing in front of her wasn’t a tall, handsome, dark-haired man. Instead, a stylishly dressed woman in her forties smiled at Kari.
“Hello, darling,” her mother said. “I know I should have called and warned you I was stopping by, but the decision to come was an impulse. Your father and I are going to London in the morning. I wanted to come see my baby girl before we left.”
“Hi, Mom,” Kari said, trying to summon enthusiasm as she stepped back to let her mother into the house.
Aurora presented her cheek for a kiss. Kari respon
ded dutifully, then offered coffee.
“I would love some,” her mother said. “I was up before dawn so I could make the drive here.”
“You drove?” Kari asked in some surprise.
“I thought about flying into Dallas and then driving down, but by the time I got to the airport, waited for my flight, then rented a car, it seemed to take as much time.”
She smiled as she spoke. Aurora Reynolds was a beautiful woman. She’d made it to the final five of a state beauty pageant during her senior year of high school before abandoning her plans of fame and fortune to marry an up-and-coming engineer. Like her mother before her, and her mother’s mother before that, she’d married at eighteen, had her first child by the time she was nineteen and had never worked outside the home a day in her life.
“I think I remember where everything is,” Aurora said as she bustled around the kitchen. She spooned grounds into the coffeemaker, then retrieved bread from the freezer and pulled the toaster from its place under the counter.
As she worked, she chattered, bringing Kari up to date on the various events in everyone’s life.
“I don’t understand why he married her,” she was saying. “Your brother is the most stubborn man. I said twenty-three was too young—but did he listen? Of course not.”
Kari nodded without actually participating. She was used to fleeting visits during which her mother would drop in, talk for hours about people she didn’t know, air-kiss and then take off for some exotic destination. The pattern had been repeating itself for as long as she could remember.
As to her mother’s comment about her “knowing” anything about her brothers, Kari didn’t. She saw them once every couple of years for a day or so. Theirs wasn’t a close family. At least, not for her. She couldn’t say what the four of them did when she wasn’t around. For all she knew, they lived in each other’s pockets.
“How are you progressing with the sorting?” her mother asked after she put bread in the toaster and there was nothing to do but wait.
“It’s slow but interesting. Grammy kept so much. I found a fox stole yesterday. It nearly scared the life out of me.”
Aurora laughed. “I remember that old thing. I used to play dress-up with it.”
“Would you like to have it?” Kari had planned to give the thing away, but if her mother wanted it, she could have it.
“No, darling. I prefer the memory to the dusty reality.”
She leaned against the counter, a tall, blond beauty who still turned heads. Looking fresh and stylish in cotton trousers and a crisp blouse, she seemed to defy the heat. Kari knew what small success she’d had as a model came from her mother’s side of the family.
“There are some old dresses and other things,” Kari persisted. “Do you want to look at any of them?”
“I don’t think so. I didn’t inherit my mother’s desire to save everything. But if there are some photo albums, I’ll take a look at them.”
“Sure.” Kari was eager to escape the kitchen. “Dozens. I have a few in the living room. Let me get them.”
She hurried into the other room and grabbed an armful of photo albums covering events over the past fifty years.
“I think your high school pictures are in this one,” Kari said, setting the stack on the counter and picking up the top album.
“Hmm.” Her mother didn’t sound very interested as she poured them each coffee and carried the mugs to the table. Several slices of toast already sat on a plate there.
Her mother put down the mugs, then sorted through the albums. She came across one filled with pictures of Kari from about age three to eight or nine.
“What a sweet girl you were,” her mother said with a sigh. “You hair was so light, and look at that smile.”
Aurora’s expression softened as she slowly turned pages. Kari watched her in some surprise. Her mother hadn’t bothered to keep her around all those years ago, so why was she going misty over a few pictures?
She didn’t voice the question, but her mother must have known what she was thinking because she closed the album and stared at her daughter.
“You think I’m a fraud,” her mother said flatly.
Kari took a step back. “No. Of course not.”
“I suppose it’s not a big stretch for you to assume that I never cared, but you’re wrong.”
Clutching the album to her chest, her mother crossed to the table and took a seat. “I remember when you left for New York. Mama was concerned because you had no one there to help you. She was afraid you’d be too stubborn to come home if things got bad, but I knew you’d be all right.”
Her mother sighed, tracing her fingers along the top of the album. “I like to think you got your strength from me. That ability to do what’s right even when it hurts. Leaving Gage behind wasn’t easy, but it was the right thing to do, wasn’t it?”
Kari sat in the chair across from her mother and nodded.
“I thought so. I’ve made tough decisions, too.” Aurora looked past her daughter and stared out the kitchen window.
“You were such a tiny thing when you were born,” she said quietly. “We had a big problem with colic and you had recurring ear infections. The doctor said you’d outgrow the problem and be fine, but in the meantime your father had been offered a job in Thailand. We talked about me staying with you because you couldn’t possibly make the trip. I was terrified to be that far from a familiar doctor.”
Kari tried to remember if she’d heard this story before. From her earliest memories, she’d been in Texas and her parents had been somewhere else. Once, she’d asked to go with them when they’d come to visit. Her mother had said that was fine, but Grammy was too old to travel that far and live in a foreign country. Given the choice between her beloved Grammy and parents who were strangers, she’d chosen to stay.
“I didn’t know what to do. You needed me, your father needed me. Then Mama said she would keep you for a few weeks, until things settled down. The doctor was sure you would be ready by the time you were seven or eight months old. It broke my heart to leave you, but in the end, that’s what I did.”
Aurora sipped her coffee, then opened the album on the table. As she turned pages, she spoke. “Once we were settled in Thailand, we found out travel wasn’t as simple as we had thought. Your ear infections continued longer than we expected they would. There wasn’t a doctor nearby, so I waited to bring you to join us. Then I became pregnant with your brother.” She glanced up and smiled sheepishly. “That wasn’t planned, I can assure you.” Her smile faded and suddenly she looked every one of her years.
“I didn’t want to travel the first few months. Then a wonderful doctor settled in our area. The timing was perfect, I thought. He would deliver my next child and then I could come and bring you home. I waited until your brother was three months old and then I returned here, to Possum Landing.”
Her mother turned away and drew in a deep breath. “I’d been gone too long. When I finally arrived, you were nearly two and a half. I walked in the door and called your name. But you didn’t remember me. You hid, and when I tried to pick you up, you cried and only Mama could calm you down.”
Kari felt her throat getting a little tight. Nothing in her mother’s story was familiar, yet she sensed every word was true. Against her will, she imagined her mother’s pain and heartbreak at being a stranger to her firstborn child.
“I didn’t know what to do,” Aurora said. “I stayed for two weeks, but the situation didn’t improve. I think you somehow knew that my plan was to take you away. You wouldn’t let Mama out of your sight and continued to run from me. Mama wanted to keep you. She loved you as if you were her own. I couldn’t fight the two of you. In the end it seemed kinder to leave you here. So I went back to Thailand without you.”
Kari nodded but found she couldn’t speak. Not without tears threatening. She’d always felt she’d been abandoned by her parents, but maybe the truth wasn’t so simple.
“Looking back, I can’t help
thinking I took the easy way out,” her mother admitted. “I could have dragged you with me. In time you would have accepted me as your mother. Maybe that would have been better. But I didn’t. I can’t say Mama didn’t love you with all her heart, or raise you perfectly, but I regret what I lost. I never should have left you behind in the first place. I should have found another way.” She offered a sad smile. “I suppose that sounds selfish.”
“No,” Kari managed to reply. “I understand.” She did…sort of. Her head spun. Too much had happened too quickly. She’d come back to Possum Landing expecting to spend a few weeks fixing up her late grandmother’s house. Instead, she’d come face-to-face with ghosts from her past. First Gage and now her mother.
“Now I suppose it’s too late for things to be different between us,” Aurora said casually, not quite meeting her daughter’s eyes.
Kari hesitated. “I appreciate hearing about what really happened. It’s different from what I imagined.” She grabbed her coffee mug but didn’t pick it up. “Why now?” she asked.
“The time was never right,” her mother said. “At first, I didn’t want to take you away from Mama. I always hoped…” She shrugged. “I thought you might come ask me on your own. Eventually, I realized you thought I’d simply turned my back on you.”
Kari didn’t respond. That had been what she’d thought. Apparently, she’d been wrong.
She thought about what she and Gage had spoken about just yesterday, when she’d told him he would have to forgive his parents if he wanted to make peace with the past. Could she do any less?
“I need some time,” Kari told her mother. “This is a lot to absorb.”
“That’s fine.” Her mother glanced at her watch. “Oh dear. I have to head back. There are a thousand and one things to do before we head to London tomorrow.”
Aurora rose and Kari did the same. “Do you mind if I keep this?” her mother asked, motioning to the photo album.
“Take as many as you’d like. There are plenty.”
Her mother smiled. “I just want this one of you.”
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