Kari walked into the house to find the phone ringing. At first she thought about ignoring it. There was no way that Gage could have run inside and called her. Besides, if he had something he wanted to say, he would simply come over and tell her.
So she let the machine get it. But when a woman identified herself as someone from the Abilene school where she’d interviewed, she grabbed the receiver.
“Hello?”
“Kari?”
“Yes.”
“Hi! This is Margaret Cunningham. We spoke during your interview?”
“I remember. How are you?” Kari wiped the tears from her face.
“Great. I have wonderful news. We were all so impressed, and I’m delighted to be calling you with a job offer.”
Kari wasn’t even surprised. Of course this would happen moments after she made her declaration to Gage. Fate was nothing if not ironic.
She listened while the other woman gave details about the job, including a starting salary and when they would like her to start. Kari wrote it all down and promised to call back within forty-eight hours. When she’d hung up, she grabbed a pillow from a nearby chair and sent it sailing across the room.
“Dammit, Gage,” she yelled into the silence. “Now what? You’re not going to tell me what I want to hear, are you. And if you are, you’ll take your time, and then what am I supposed to do? I told you I loved you. Doesn’t that mean anything?”
She wanted to stomp her feet, as well, but figured that was immature and wouldn’t help. She hurt inside. Probably because she’d done the right thing at last and declared her feelings, only to have Gage not respond to them. He’d listened and then had let her walk away. Not exactly the sign of a man overwhelmed by loving feelings.
She sank onto the chair and covered her face with her hands. That’s what was really wrong, she thought sadly. She’d admitted she loved Gage and he hadn’t offered her love in return. He hadn’t offered her anything.
Over the next twenty-four hours, Kari alternately cried, ate ice cream, threw unbreakable objects and slept. She also hovered by the phone, willing it to ring.
When it did, she found herself being offered another job, this one in the Dallas area.
Sometime close to noon the next day, while she cried her way through a shower, she finally got it. It was as if the heavens had opened and God had spoken to her directly.
She couldn’t force Gage to love her back and she couldn’t insist he live on her timetable. The only control she had was over herself. Her feelings, her goals, her life. Gage was his own person. He had to make the decisions that were right for him.
The realization left her feeling very much alone. What did she do now? Did she keep her life on hold, hoping he would come to terms with everything and realize that they belonged together? Or did she move on, aware that he might never come around?
After her shower, she dressed and fussed with her hair. She applied makeup, then headed out the door.
She found Gage at the sheriff’s station. He was talking with one of the deputies, so Kari waited until they were finished. When Gage was alone in his office, she slipped inside and closed the door behind her.
He looked tired. Dark shadows stained the skin under his eyes. While she couldn’t read his thoughts, she felt he looked a little wary. No doubt he feared her next confession.
“About yesterday,” she said, settling into a chair across from his desk. She really wanted to pace, but figured if she stayed standing, he would, as well. Although the closed door gave them the illusion of privacy, in reality Gage’s office walls were glass. Anyone could watch what was going on. Better to have things appear calm. At least no one could hear the thundering of her heart.
“Kari,” Gage began, but she held up her hand to stop him.
“I’d like to go first,” she said quickly.
He hesitated, then nodded.
Every cell in her body screamed at her to run to him and beg him to say he loved her. She desperately wanted him to sweep her up in his arms, hold her close and swear he would never let her go. She wanted him to declare his love with a sincerity and passion that would keep her tingling for the rest of her life.
Instead, she was going to tell him it was okay for him to let her go.
“I was wrong yesterday,” she said. “I shouldn’t have confessed my feelings. Or if I did, I should have done it differently. Nothing about this situation is your fault. You have so much going on right now and I just added to your load. For me this is huge, but for you it’s just one more piece of the puzzle.”
She forced herself to smile and hoped it came out even borderline normal. “You need time to figure out what’s going on. You have a lot to come to grips with. I’m not saying I don’t love you. I do. I can’t imagine life without you. But I’m not going to force myself on you. You need time, and I’m going to give you that.”
Now came the tricky part. She swallowed and twisted her fingers together. “So, to that end, I’m accepting a job in Abilene. It’s close enough that if you change your mind—” She cleared her throat. “It would be doable until my school year ended. And if you decide this is…I mean, if I’m not what you want, then I’ll be getting on with my life.”
He looked as if she’d sucker punched him. “Kari, don’t.”
“Don’t what? Leave? Isn’t it the right thing to do?”
He shook his head. She had a bad feeling he’d meant “Don’t love me.”
Pain gripped her. She forced herself to go on. “Just to keep things from being too awkward, I’ve hired someone to finish the work on the house. The property management company will take care of selling it. So I’m heading out in the morning. I wanted to tell you that, too. Goodbye, I mean.”
“You don’t have to leave because of me.”
It hurt to breathe. He was saying he shouldn’t be the reason she left—not “Don’t go.”
“There’s nothing to keep me here,” she said, forcing herself to breathe in and out. The pain would pass eventually. Life would go on. This wouldn’t kill her, no matter how it felt right now.
“My family, such as it is, lives elsewhere. With my grandmother gone, Possum Landing isn’t home anymore. She was always the one who mattered. My mother might have given birth to me, but my grandmother was the keeper of my heart while I was growing up.” She stood slowly.
There was so much more she wanted to say—but what was the point? Obviously her love was one-sided. Not the haven she had wanted it to be. If only…
“Goodbye, Gage,” she said finally.
Gathering every ounce of courage and strength, she turned and walked out of his office. She didn’t look back, not even once. She’d done the right thing. When she’d begun to heal in, oh, fifty years or so, she could be proud of that. Right now, she just wanted to be anywhere but here.
Gage watched her go. With each step she took, he felt a piece of his soul crumble to dust.
She was leaving. She’d said as much and he believed her. Under the circumstances, it would be best for both of them. She would get on with her life and he would try to figure out who he was now that he was no longer one of five generations of Reynolds, born and bred in Possum Landing.
He turned to his computer screen, but the small characters there didn’t make any sense. Instead of words, he saw Kari leaving. Again. He’d let her go the first time because she’d deserved to have a chance at her dreams. This time he was letting her go because…
Because it was the right thing to do. Because she deserved more than he had to offer. Because—
He swore as her words echoed inside him. While Aurora was her mother, she wasn’t the keeper of Kari’s heart. Her grandmother had been that. For Kari, Aurora was nothing more than biology. No yesterdays bound them together. No shared laughter, no talks late at night, no Christmas mornings.
Gage curled his hands into fists as a kaleidoscope of memories rushed through his brain. His father teaching him to ride a bike, then, years later, to drive a car. His fath
er taking him fishing. Just the two of them, leaving town several hours before dawn for a camping trip. Long walks, evenings by the fire building models. Frank conversations about women and sex—Ralph Reynolds had admitted knowing less about the former than the latter. His father had taught him to tell the truth, be polite, think of others. He’d taught Gage respect and courage.
Earl Haynes might have given Gage life, but Ralph Reynolds had made sure that life meant something.
Gage stood up with a force that sent his chair sailing across the room. He raced to the door and out toward the front of the building. He might not have all the answers, but he knew one thing for sure—he wasn’t going to lose Kari a second time. Not if she was willing to take a chance on him.
He pushed open the front door and saw her on the sidewalk. “Kari,” he called. “Wait.”
She turned. He saw tears on her beautiful face. Tears and an expression so lost and empty that it nearly broke his heart. Then she saw him. And as he watched, hope struggled with pain.
“Don’t go,” he said when he reached her side. He wrapped his arms around her. “Please, don’t go. I can’t lose you again.”
He cupped her face and stared into her eyes. “Kari, I love you. I’ve always loved you. I didn’t want to admit it, even to myself, but I’ve been waiting for you to come back. Don’t go.”
A smile played around her mouth. It blossomed until she beamed at him.
“Really? You love me?”
“Always.”
“What about what your mother told you?”
“I don’t have all the answers.”
Her smile never wavered as love filled her eyes, chasing away the tears. “You don’t have to. We’ll figure them out together. No matter what, I’ll be here for you.”
That was all he wanted to hear. He kissed her. “I love you. Stay. Please. I know you have to work in Abilene for a year. That’s what you agreed to, right? We’ll work it out. I want to be with you. I want to marry you and have babies with you.”
She laughed. “I haven’t accepted the job yet. I was going to go home and call right now. I guess I’ll have to tell them no.”
He couldn’t believe she would do that for him. He pulled her close again and pressed his face into her soft hair. “I never want to lose you again.”
“You won’t. I’ll marry you, Gage. And we’ll have those babies. When you figure out what you want to do about your half siblings in California, we’ll deal with that, as well.”
He raised his head and looked at her. Love filled him, banishing the shadows and making everything right. “How did I get so lucky?”
“I could ask the same thing. My answer is that I love you. After all this time, you’re still the one.”
ISBN: 978-1-4268-4228-3
GOOD HUSBAND MATERIAL
Copyright © 2002 by Susan Macias Redmond
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* Hometown Heartbreakers
* Hometown Heartbreakers
* Hometown Heartbreakers
* Hometown Heartbreakers
* Hometown Heartbreakers
* Hometown Heartbreakers
† Triple Trouble
† Triple Trouble
† Triple Trouble
‡ Brides of Bradley House
‡ Brides of Bradley House
** Desert Rogues
** Desert Rogues
** Desert Rogues
‡‡ Lone Star Canyon
‡‡ Lone Star Canyon
‡‡ Lone Star Canyon
** Desert Rogues
** Desert Rogues
** Desert Rogues
* Hometown Heartbreakers
Good Husband Material Page 19