Fredrik is safe and happy at the beach house with the Dawsons. Finals… done. First year of college… done. Tonight is all about Garrett. Tonight is the night.
The plan for the night is dinner with Garrett, Branden and the girls, then sneaking in to see Viv perform. After that, it would be home for dessert with Garret, alone.
Stepping into her bedroom, Zara does a happy dance spying a beautiful gown hanging on the back of the door. Never one to forget a thing, Garrett has also left a lovely new set of black lace lingerie on her bed.
As she shimmies into the dress, she notices the song changes to another one of the songs used in her striptease class. She finds it odd that Garrett would be listening to this song. INXS is an old band from what she understands, but then he likes tons of old music. She continues dressing and dancing around as the song plays.
The dress he has selected for tonight works well for some of her striptease moves. The dress has a form-fitted lace bodice, short tight skirt and a long see-through tulle overlay that opens in the front, giving the dress an added sexy edge. She lets out a squeal of delight when she finds the shoes and beaded purse for the night.
Checking the mirror one last time, Zara freezes when the next song blares through the house speakers even louder than the other songs. Garrett knows the entire playlist of her routine. Laughing, she looks down at her shoes. Spinning around, she goes to the closest and reaches for the red-soled shoes that should be worn, according to Ella, only ‘when you go in for the kill.’
I am definitely going in for the kill.
Taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, she picks up her purse and makes her way toward the kitchen. Garrett is not there. She continues into the den but finds he is not there, either. She makes her way to his bedroom. Puzzled at not discovering him in his room, she walks back toward the kitchen.
“You look strikingly beautiful!” Garrett says with a smile as he walks through the front door. As he stalks closer, Zara rakes her eyes over his entire body. “I will assume from that smile on your lovely face that you like what you see.”
Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulls her to him. Instinctively, she slides her hands up the lapel of his suit and around his neck. Standing in the living room of their home, Zara and Garrett stare into each other’s smiling eyes.
“Happy Birthday, John Garrett. I love you with all of my heart.”
“Still the best birthday present that you can give me. I love you too, Zara Faith.”
“We should get going. Poor Branden will not survive the girls for long.” Despite her comment, neither of them moves an inch. Zara starts giggling and Garrett releases her.
“Way to kill the moment.” He guides a laughing Zara out of the house and locks the door behind them.
Her laughing comes to an abrupt halt once the car starts and Closer by Nine Inch Nails begins playing. She shifts in her seat as she clicks the seat belt.
“You know,” she accuses.
Smiling, he pulls the car out of the driveway and focuses on the road ahead. The song continues playing.
“I know that you know.”
“Zara Faith, what are you referring to, darling?” Zara glares at Garrett. “Careful.”
“Sorry,” she whispers. Turning in her seat to face the front, she is confident he did not hear her apology. Hands resting in her lap, she lowers her head and listens as the song comes to an end. Halestrom’s Beautiful With You is the next song and Garrett reaches over, takes Zara’s hand and places it on his thigh. He caresses it as he drives and she knows everything is fine.
As much as she loves her friends, the idea of skipping it all to return home and give Garrett his real birthday gift seems worth missing all the evening’s plans.
He lifts her hand off his thigh and kisses it. “What are you thinking about?”
“Ella and Liliana,” she switches up. “I am going to miss them this summer. School will be strange without them on campus. Thank you for including them tonight.”
Garrett nods. Kissing her hand one more time and returning it to his thigh, he suggests “We can fly down for a long weekend in July. Steele Security is in Miami and Branden has been trying to get me down there to meet those guys for a while. We can make it work.”
Pulling into a parking spot, he turns off the car and pauses. “Zara, would it be horrible if we just turn the car around and go home? We can come up with an excuse later. I would really rather spend tonight alone at home with you and that dress. Well… and a striptease.”
Slapping her hands over her face, Zara does not say anything, feeling a deep blush quickly spread up her neck and over her face. Garrett explodes into laughter and gently removes her hands from her face. “Please do not mess up that stunning makeup job.”
“How… how did you find out?”
“First, hopefully, I would have found out soon anyway. Second, you should not be upset. I would have never thought it possible to be more attracted to you. I was indeed wrong… because I am. Third, guess what I really, really want for my birthday.”
“I already have your birthday present and that’s not it,” she taunts. She reaches for the door handle and steps out before he can rush around to assist.
Chapter 35
“She is amazing! Garrett, I had no idea.” Zara slips into the passenger seat. Closing Garrett’s suit jacket around her, she inhales. As he gets in the car, she realizes how late it is. His present is waiting for him at the house and his birthday is almost over.
Zara begins to reflect on the evening. Dinner with his best friend and hers… all outsiders. She never would have predicted she would have two friends who were outsiders and who would love her so fiercely. They had shuffled her into the bathroom upon her arrival to whip her hair into an up-do because ‘the dress requires it’ according to Ella.
And then there is Vivian… Viv, an outsider by her own definition to everyone. Seeing her standing on the stage in that red form-fitting dress tonight with the spotlight only on her as she sang had been amazing. Zara’s eyes filled with tears again thinking how Viv sang Beautiful With You. Imagining where the emotions were coming from as she sang hit her deeply.
Viv has become more than a friend. Zara has come to think of her as a sister. The week she and Fredrik had stayed with Viv, their relationship had grown stronger. Zara knows she and Viv still have walls to break through, but in time they will get there. She knew, even before Branden said it, that it would be worth getting inside.
“Is everything okay? You’re quiet,” Garrett says once they arrive back at home. Zara removes his suit jacket and hands it back to him.
“Yes. Everything is perfect.” She turns, walking toward her bedroom.
Deep breath, shoulders back, and a blank expression on her face gives her a muted sense of control. A single thought of her mother penetrated her mental walls. More than once, her mother had explained that the only true control was that of one’s own mind. At the time, the words did not make sense. In the last few days they seemed hollow.
The reality is that Zara had never had control. From the first moment their eyes locked in the center of the Circle, Zara felt her control slip into his possession. Not collaring her had only removed the external proof of Garrett’s ownership. When he knelt in front of her and offered her an opportunity to follow her dream, Zara had mentally submitted to her Dom. Now she is ready to complete the Circle.
Zara removes the collar from her tiny beaded bag and returns to the living room. She stands in the middle of the large open space. The soft, sweet voice of Phildel singing Beside You floats through the speakers. Zara smiles at the music Garrett has selected, as if he knows what is about to happen.
Garrett walks into the living room. He stops and looks at Zara in the gown that he had chosen for her to wear for the night. The slight tilt of his head and the expression on his face tells her that he is attempting to read her current state.
He moves closer to her and stares into her eyes as if searching for the answ
er to an unasked question. With every fiber in her body, she knows this is what she wants. This is what she needs.
Slowly, her eyes find their rightful place on the floor in front of her. Without a word, she gracefully lowers into the kneeling position to present herself to him. Extending her right hand in front of her with the palm up, she raises it above her head and opens her hand.
The collar that had been laying on the table clasped with no key at their Circle Ceremony now lies open in her hand. With only the two of them to experience this cherished moment, Garrett takes the collar from Zara’s hand. He places his hand under her chin and lifts it until her eyes lock onto his. He raises the collar to his lips and kisses it.
Zara smiles. With tears in her eyes, she speaks softly but clearly, “Tonight, I freely and happily wish to grant you my submission. You have allowed me to experience my dream and all the while protecting, respecting and loving me. In my journey to figure out who I am and what I want… I discovered that before anything else, I want to be yours. I am ready to begin my next chapter.”
Lowering her eyes to her lap, Zara waits. She does not have to wait long.
“Zara Faith, I loved you before I really knew you. Once I was given the honor of getting to know you, I fell even deeper in love with you. Although your time of self-discovery was difficult at times, I would do it all over again to be able to witness your inner bright light glow even stronger.”
Garrett kneels in front of Zara and stares deeply into her eyes. She hopes he could detect the overwhelming love she has for him. The broad smile that slowly takes over his face makes her think he is able to see it. Garrett places the collar around Zara’s neck and closes the clasp.
“Thank you, Sir.”
SAUSAGE EGG BAKE
From the Kitchen of Sandy B
Preheat oven: 350 degrees
8 Eggs
1-½ Cups of Milk
Ground Sausage (cooked and crumbled)
2 Cups of your favorite Cheese
1 Bag of Seasoned Croutons
1 Small Can of Chopped Green Chiles
1 Can of Cream of Mushroom Soup
1 Teaspoon of Dry Mustard
Salt and Pepper
Spray a 9x13 casserole dish with cooking spray. Distribute the bag of croutons over the bottom of the casserole dish. Layer the cooked and crumbled sausage on top of croutons. Next, layer the green chilies over the sausage followed by shredded cheese. Mix together the eggs, milk, soup, and dry mustard seasoning. Pour the egg mixture over the casserole. Sprinkle lightly with salt and pepper. Refrigerate overnight and bake uncovered for 50-55 minutes in the oven at 350 degrees.
Acknowledgments
The writing of Before Him Comes Me has been a journey. Along the way I have been helped by many individuals. Some have lifted me up when I questioned my ability to finish the book. Some have pulled me away from my laptop after countless hours without a break to make me take a deep breath. Still others answered question after question about the writing, editing, pre- and post-production, marketing, and much more without ever making me feel like I was pestering or bothering them. To all of them, thank you for helping me change my life and find my passion.
I am who I am because of my parents. From my mother, I learned that a woman’s place is anywhere she chooses. Work hard, have a vision and stay committed. My Dad gave me my love of sports, and taught me to be dependable and always care for others. They have supported everything I have ever wanted to do. When I finally told them I was writing a book, their interest and support was tremendous.
If I had a dinner party and could invite ten people, two of them would be my brothers. Although, they both have very busy lives, there have been many occasions during the writing of this book when they have dropped everything to assist me. My sister-in-law and wickedly adorable niece were able to brighten my days during the darkness of editing. Thank you.
My friends are the family that I was fortunate to find and collect around me. I am thankful for all the laughter, phone calls, dirty jokes and celebrity gossip. You all helped to keep me a little bit sane during this journey… Troy, Charlee, Katrina, Dana, Cat, Jenn, Rachel, Jason, Leigh, Sadie, Erika, Lori, Casey, Hannah, Annette, Colleen, Kate, Bryan, Melanie, Cassandra, Liz, Nicole, and Jessica.
Special thanks to Helena J., a Resident Advisor in Yakeley Hall at Michigan State University, for your time and tour of the Hall.
Special thanks to Modernjake for designing the perfect cover for Before Him Comes Me. I have been blown away by every graphic you have designed along the way. Thank you for all your help.
With so many books published every day, authors struggle to get their name out far and wide. I have been lucky enough to have a small group that work tirelessly to pimp me out all over Facebook. Known as Sure’s Showgirls, I call them friends. Thank you.
As a reader, I heard that the author community had cliques and was competitive. Fortunately, I have discovered the opposite of that to be true. From the moment that I mentioned I wanted to write, I found every author, blogger and personal assistant to be supportive, encouraging and helpful. From the beginning, Rachel Rae, A.D. Justice, Anie Michaels, Ella Dominguez and Melanie Harlow encouraged me to write my story.
When I typed ‘THE END’ in March of 2014, I had tears and I called my very dear friend Kasidy Blake to celebrate this milestone. After a few moments of woohoos, she said, “Now the real work begins.” At the time, I had no idea what she meant. Well, eight months later, I get it. The individuals that got me through the darkest period, also known as ‘editing,’ are Kasidy Blake, Al Daltrey, Elias Raven, Kate Benson, JL Sins (umbrella), and Noelle Bodhaine.
Thank you to the grammar queens, Ali Reynolds and Angie Wieber, for the commas, tenses and all the other issues you caught. So many track changes!!
This book would have been a rambling 109 thousand words without Richelle McFate. She had no idea that agreeing to read a single section of my book would lead to editing and so much more. Working with Richelle was an amazing experience and I am looking forward to tackling the next book with her as my editor.
Before Him Comes Me began with a conversation in my living room with Shayne McClendon and me. Working with her taught me a great deal and I will always cherish that period in my life.
To the readers, thank you for taking a chance on me.
Bonus chapter from britt gaines
Contrive
copyright 2015
britt gaines
an excerpt chapter one
-Ding- Ding-…… Ding-Ding-
“Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. If I can please have your attention, it is currently 1:15pm pacific standard time. We will be taking off in a few minutes. The seat belt light has been turned on and travel time to New York is 5 hours and 43 minutes. It will put us there roughly at 9:30pm. The weather is perfect so it should be smooth sailing. Relax and enjoy your flight”
The captain’s words echoed through my ears like a smoke alarm warning and reaffirming that I am on a plane. I am a flier. I love to fly. I fly fucking everywhere with my job. I am not a white knuckler. I don’t need to be sedated. The seatbelt light pulses that bright red glow mocking me, telling me what to do. I have already completed that assigned task. I did it the moment I sat down. If not I might have bolted from the plane. I still can't believe I am going back to New York. WHAT THE HELL! I mean I can I have a great job, and an awesome apartment awaiting me there. When I left over five years ago I said I would never step foot back in that city. I would never walk those streets again. The memories some happy, and some painful formed in the concrete felt just as permanent in my heart never freeing me from their grip.
I recline my first class seat and smooth my hands down my black and silver DKNY velour track pants, I zip up the jacket. Planes are always cold to me. I grab the tall glass of the mimosa, smelling the champagne. I take a healthy sip, ok more like a gulp. Yeah it’s early but I need this liquid courage to settle my nerves. How quickly my life has changed. I was a
carefree successful business woman rocking my career in graphic design, working for one of the most prestigious internet companies in the world. Living my life, and enjoying my life. Shopping and feeding my addiction to designer labels with shoes being my current high. I lost my mother to cancer and accepted a job in New York, packed up my life and once again running from a place that holds sad memories. Without my mother, California was not my home anymore. How did I not see the cancer progressing? We knew it had come back. All the doctor’s visits were positive. I was with her almost every day but she hid it well. My work at times was all consuming I can see how I didn’t notice looking back now. I shake my head trying not to feel the guilt of being un-aware of what was happening to her, she didn’t look sick not even the day she passed she still held that fire in her, still the controlling woman she always had been. Then she dropped the bomb and the carnage immense. I am still reeling from the shrapnel she left embedded in my heart. Will I recover from this? I sure hope so, but without her I don’t know how it will be possible. Even in death she continued to control my future. I sit back in my chair closing my eyes memories flooding my brain. I tilt the glass to my lips saying a prayer to the gods of alcohol that this drink will take the edge off, and as I drain the glass I realize I will need more than this one. I have a 5 hour plane ride to lick my wounds that are now hemorrhaging, and no amount of sutures will stop the bleeding.
3 weeks ago……………………………
I flicked my phone watching as it spins like a top on the deep dark walnut desk. It could be used as a conference room table. It has to be at least four feet long and four feet wide with a high gloss finish it is making the phone spin really fast. It is a simple distraction, which is something I haven’t had in a few days. Well except for the occasional emails from my new employer. He is making sure I am still accepting his offer and re-confirming my “orientation interview” in two weeks. We have “confirmed” twice already all the other emails have little to do with the job. They are friendly and dare I say it we are becoming friends? Yes I can think that because I feel like that is what we are doing. He seems to be a fun easy going man, and he is gorgeous. How do I know he is gorgeous? I looked him up on the internet. He is the definition of the hot Italian guy my mother would have loved.
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