by Tina Leonard
“I’ve got a lead on a luxury-apartment complex here in El Paso that may be looking for someone in February. I’ll e-mail it to you.”
“Thanks.”
“Have you given any more thought to going to business school? This might be a good time to get an MBA.”
Jacey sat Caitlin upright and gently patted her back. Milk bubbles still on her rosebud lips, Caitlin stretched and yawned sleepily. “I don’t think I want to go to grad school now.” I’m having too good a time simply being a mom, and cooking for an extremely appreciative audience.
“What about starting your own business?”
“I’m thinking about a lot of things,” Jacey stated carefully. Not wanting to argue with her sister, she changed the subject smoothly. “By the way, I’m going to have to work Christmas.”
“Me, too. I was thinking maybe we could get together and have our own holiday on the twenty-seventh of December?”
“Sounds perfect. Caitlin and I will be there with bells on.”
They talked a little more, making plans for the holiday.
Caitlin still hadn’t burped, so Jacey could not put her down, but she was thirsty. Slipping a soft pink flannel robe over her white jersey pajamas, she walked out to the ranch-house kitchen for a glass of milk.
Phone to her ear, she continued talking quietly to Mindy as she padded through the hall to the atrium. She was nearly to the ranch-house kitchen when Mindy asked, “What about Cash?”
“I don’t want to talk about Cash.”
“Why not?”
“Because Cash is not relevant.” Jacey turned the corner and nearly ran into Rafferty. “Listen, Mindy, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you tomorrow. Yeah, love you, too. Bye.”
“What are you doing up?” Rafferty drawled.
She adapted an equally nonchalant posture.
Now, if only she could get her body to stop reacting to his presence. She met his gaze. “I could ask the same of you.”
“Been working on payroll and doing the books. You?” Desire, pure and simple, glimmered in his eyes.
“Nursing.” She tried without success to forget about the kiss.
He swung open the refrigerator door, peered inside.
While he studied the contents, Jacey studied him. As always, he had showered and shaved after coming in from ranch work. The tantalizing fragrance of aftershave clung to his jaw. He had on worn jeans and an untucked corduroy shirt that brought out the intense blue of his eyes. Thick wool socks. No boots, no belt. Tousled hair. Good thing they had a tiny chaperone.
Determined not to put herself in an emotionally vulnerable position with him, she said, “I gather you ate the Thanksgiving dinner I left for you.”
“Was that what it was?”
She feigned immunity to his teasing. “I think you knew that.”
He shrugged his broad shoulders. “Food is food. Speaking of which—” he squinted down at the blue ceramic dish in his hand “—this pie looks awfully good. Want some?”
The chocolate-pecan concoction was making her mouth water. “No, thanks. I had a piece earlier.”
Clearly trying to push her buttons, he reminded her, “It is a holiday, at least for five more minutes, as you’re so hell-bent on reminding me.”
“If you must know, I’m trying to lose weight.” She would, however, have a glass of skim milk. Caitlin cradled in her arm, she moved past him to the fridge, opened the door with her free hand. To her chagrin, the skim milk was all the way in the back.
“Would you mind just for a second?” She shifted Caitlin from her arms to his.
As she moved food around, he studied the yawning babe in his arms. “Wow, she has grown.”
Glad to turn the attention back to her daughter, she said proudly, “She’s gained three pounds in the past four weeks.”
“Her hair seems lighter. When she was born, it was almost black. Now it’s almost blond.”
Jacey was surprised Rafferty had remembered that. No one else had mentioned it. But then everyone else had been seeing Caitlin every day, so—to them—the change was more gradual. “Probably gets it from her…father. Although the hair-color thing is typical, from what I understand.”
“Speaking of Cash…”
Jacey poured milk. “Not you, too.”
“Has he seen his daughter?”
Jacey put the milk bottle back in the fridge. “I think you’d know about it if he had.”
He flashed her a contemplative grin. “I’m not with you every second.”
“There are no secrets around here,” Jacey said.
Rafferty eyed her thoughtfully. “True enough. Is Cash going to see her?”
Jacey leaned against the counter. “I’m sure he will eventually.”
Rafferty cuddled Caitlin close to his chest. “But he doesn’t have any plans to visit anytime soon?”
Jacey drained her glass and put it in the dishwasher. “I don’t know.”
“Well, what did he say when you talked to him?” Rafferty persisted.
Jacey flushed. “I haven’t spoken to him.”
Rafferty’s eyebrow rose. “You didn’t tell him he had a daughter?”
Jacey eased Caitlin into her own arms. “Cash already knew it was a girl—I found that out at my ultrasound months ago.”
Rafferty helped himself to a piece of pie. “Still, you should have called him when the baby was born.”
Wishing Rafferty didn’t look so damn sexy, Jacey turned her glance away. “I text-messaged and e-mailed him the specifics. He’ll get one or the other when he returns to civilization.”
“And then he’ll show up?” Rafferty put the pie into the microwave to warm.
“If I were still in San Antonio, I’m sure he would drop by—]he keeps an apartment in the complex I used to manage. I don’t know that he would want to drive all the way out here.” Jacey sighed impatiently. “Why are you so intent on making sure that Cash sees Caitlin?”
Rafferty gazed at Jacey with a look that brought to mind long kisses and hotter caresses, then predicted, “Because one look at his baby girl and he’s going to fall head over heels in love with her. And that is going to change everything.”
BEING CLOSE TO Caitlin certainly seemed to be altering Rafferty. He was all heart every time he was near the infant. Which maybe, Jacey thought, was why he had taken such pains to avoid her and her baby. Because he didn’t want to be vulnerable, didn’t want to be reminded. She swallowed. “I really am sorry about your wife and child.” She hadn’t done enough to comfort him on that score.
He shrugged, acceptance shutting out the fleeting sadness in his eyes. “Bad things happen. Nothing you can do about it except go on.”
“But have you?”
He set his pie aside without taking a bite. “Now who’s treading where they don’t belong?” His hands clamped the counter on either side of him.
Jacey settled a drowsy Caitlin in the infant seat she kept in the kitchen and strapped her in. “I’m just saying you should be dating someone.”
His jaw tightened. “How do you know I’m not?”
Amazed at how unhappy just the thought of that made her feel, Jacey straightened. “Are you?”
“No.” He mocked her with a look. “Are you?”
“No.” She tried to disguise her relief that he was single.
“Why not?” he persisted, picking up his plate again.
She watched him savor the sweetness of the pie. “Because I’ve been pregnant and focused on bringing a baby into this world.”
He tilted his head. “I’ve been grieving.”
She could only imagine how hard a loss like his had been. “How long has it been?” she asked softly, wishing they’d talked about this earlier, when he had first told her.
“Two years ago, November first,” he reflected.
Jacey did some quick calculations. “So the day I showed up…”
“Was the second anniversary of their death.” He put his empty plate in the dishwasher.
He brushed her apology off, letting her know with a look that there were no remaining hard feelings about that. “People kept telling me it would get easier with time,” he mused after a moment. “I didn’t believe ’em then, but they were right. It does.”
“So you’re ready to move on.” Hope rose within her. She wanted, she realized, to see him happy and living life fully again.
Rafferty exhaled. “I don’t know that I could ever go through that kind of loss again…but I think I could enjoy other aspects of a relationship.”
“Physical aspects.”
He grinned in a way that let her know this was true.
Sexual sparks arced between them.
Refusing to acknowledge how attractive she found him, she shook her head in refusal.
“And the companionship,” he added more seriously.
Trying hard not to imagine what it would be like to go to bed with him, Jacey sought out more information on his past. “Were you and your wife happy?”
“She was very beautiful—a city girl, like you.”
Which didn’t answer the question. Which maybe, Jacey thought, was an answer in and of itself.
JACEY WAS STILL THINKING of Rafferty’s romantic past, wondering what else she didn’t know about him, when the cowboys headed out the next morning.
Only Eli remained with her and the baby. “You should take the rest of the day off,” Rafferty’s father advised.
Jacey hesitated. “I’m not sure that’s fair.”
Eli clamped a paternal hand on her shoulder. “Fall roundup is going to continue for another two weeks. You haven’t had any time off since you’ve been here. You need to be out doing what women do today. Black Friday—isn’t that what they call it?”
“Because of all the crowds and holiday sales?”
Eli nodded.
“I’m going to do most of my shopping on the Internet this year,” Jacey admitted. “But I would like to get into Summit, look around.” She hadn’t had time thus far to see much except the hospital, grocery store and pediatrician’s office. The weeks on the ranch had left her feeling a little stir-crazy. And she could use some new reading material. She decided to take Eli up on his offer, got Caitlin ready for their outing and left for town.
Jacey’s first stop was the library.
Filling out the application form was easy. All she had to do was prove she was a resident of Summit County—and thereby eligible for a card. “I’m working at Lost Mountain Ranch,” Jacey explained.
The librarian behind the information desk, a petite and pretty blonde about Jacey’s age, smiled. “That’s one of our historic ranches,” she said cheerfully.
Jacey cradled a sleeping Caitlin to her chest. “How long has it been around?” she asked curiously.
“I’m not really sure. We could look.” The librarian typed in another command. “I don’t think there are any books written on it, but there are plenty of newspaper articles.” She paused. “What would you like to know?”
Whether or not I should stay on there, for starters.
Jacey struggled to contain her emotions. “I’m just trying to learn more about the area in general.” And Rafferty in particular. Was he the kind of man she should even be thinking about getting involved with, never mind kissing?
Noting Jacey’s confusion, the librarian leaned across the desk and confided, “I know this is none of my business, but…watch out for Rafferty Evans. He’s left a string of broken hearts from here to Big Bend National Park.”
A trickle of unease went down Jacey’s spine. “You’re saying he’s a player?”
The librarian hesitated, then continued typing Jacey’s information into the computer, her expression one of quiet distress. “All I can tell you is that I dated him for two months, six years ago. He was so incredibly good to me. I thought we were getting serious. Next thing I know—” she shook her head, remembering “—he’s easing away from me, ever so kindly, the same way he eased away from all his other girlfriends when he began to lose interest. Which he always seems to do for one reason or another…. No one thought he would marry at all until Angelica came along. But then,” she said, shrugging her slender shoulders dejectedly, “what man in his right mind can resist a beautiful model?”
What man indeed? Jacey thought. “Were they happy?” she asked before she could stop herself.
The librarian gestured unknowingly. “They certainly should have been. They had everything going for them.” She paused, her eyes full of sympathy. “I’ll say this—it’ll be a miracle if Rafferty Evans ever settles down again.”
RAFFERTY KNEW something was up. At lunch break on Monday, the hired hands approached him.
“Just out of curiosity, boss,” Stretch opened the discussion. “Did you do or say anything to Jacey that might have upset her?”
I kissed her and would have made love to her if we both hadn’t come to our senses.
“Yeah, she’s been real quiet,” Curly said, worriedly.
Red opened his lunch pail. “Happy cooking and taking care of her baby, but otherwise…quiet.”
“The thing is,” Hoss continued, “we know she’s only supposed to be here for a few months, but we don’t want her to leave. She’s the best cook we’ve ever had. So if it was one of your moods, or something you said or did—”
“We all know how grumpy you can be this time of year,” Gabby put in with a sigh.
It wasn’t his fault, Rafferty thought irritably, that he still didn’t like the holidays.
“We just want to know what it is,” Stretch concluded, “so we can fix it.”
Rafferty studied the cowboys.
He hadn’t been in the bunkhouse all weekend, and in fact had been taking his usual pains to avoid Jacey.
He had thought—hoped—keeping his distance would please her.
Obviously not.
Rafferty looked each man in the eye. They were all in agreement, all right.
“You really think she might up and leave?” he asked, dread spiraling through him.
A sigh of trepidation echoed through the men.
“We do,” Hoss said grimly.
“And we can’t let that happen,” Gabby insisted.
MIDAFTERNOON, JACEY WAS in Rafferty’s study, putting the finishing touches on her updated résumé, when the front door to the ranch house opened and closed. Perplexed—Eli wasn’t due back from the Cattleman’s Association meeting for another two hours—she looked up.
The purposeful footsteps grew closer.
Rafferty appeared in the doorway.
As always when out working the cattle, he had a fine layer of Texas dust on his clothes and stubble across his handsome jaw. His black hat was drawn low across his brow, his expression unusually somber.
Aware he might not want her sitting in his chair at his desk, she explained, “I couldn’t get the printer driver on my laptop to work with your wireless network. Your dad said it would be okay if I used your office equipment.”
“That’s fine.” Rafferty glanced at the baby monitor with a frown. “Where’s Caitlin?”
“Sleeping in the nursery.” Jacey found herself tensing, too. “Is everything okay? You usually don’t come back to the ranch house in the middle of the day.”
He strode closer. “I wanted to check in with you.”
She met his gaze. “About?”
He looked over her shoulder, at the information on the screen. “That résumé you’re working on.”
She leaned back in his chair. “It’s tradition, when applying for a job. Funny as it may seem, employers usually want to know your work history and the names and phone numbers of your references.”
He countered her sarcasm, “Except here.”
Determined not to show any weakness this time, she kept her eyes on his. “I admit this job sort of fell into my lap.”
Rafferty wa
lked over to the window. He stood for several moments, staring out at the mountains rising in the distance, before finally turning back to her. “Are you unhappy here?”
“The fellas couldn’t be nicer.”
He held her eyes for a long time. “Then why are you looking to leave?”
Jacey pulled in a stabilizing breath. “My agreement with your dad was a temporary one. You know that.”
Rafferty pressed his lips together ruefully. “The cowboys are hoping you will change your mind, and I know my father feels the same way.”
Noting he hadn’t said how he felt, Jacey returned, “As much as I hate to admit it, I think my sister has a point. I have nearly ten years’ experience in property management. I should continue in that field.”
He searched her face. “You enjoy it that much?”
Jacey flushed under his scrutiny. “I like problem solving and helping people live happier, more comfortable lives.”
He folded his arms. “You could do that here.”
“True.” Jacey picked up a pen and turned it end over end. “But I’m already at the top of the career ladder here. There’s really no room for advancement.”
He edged closer. “If you liked it so much, why did you leave your last job?”
Finding that a lot easier to talk about, Jacey sighed. “My boss had promised me I could set up a small nursery in the property office and bring Caitlin to work with me. Unfortunately, he didn’t bother to run this arrangement by the corporate office in Chicago until it was nearly time to process the paperwork for my maternity leave.” She sighed. “Suffice it to say, the head office was not happy. There were liability issues involved, and they weren’t going to go for it. And the property could not be without an onsite manager, so I had to tender my resignation…and give up my furnished luxury apartment on the premises as well.”
“Losing your home must have been tough,” Rafferty said sympathetically.
“I had already been planning to go to El Paso to be with my sister Mindy when Caitlin was born—and stay with her during the majority of my maternity leave—so that part of it wasn’t such a big deal.”