At some point during her speech, Seth’s smile vanished, replaced with a mixture of confusion and worry. “No, I don’t have a death wish.”
“Then why all of this?” Grace threw up her hands then gestured toward the airplane hanger. “Is it really to keep Mike’s memory alive? Because there are a whole lot of other ways to do that.”
Now Seth looked really confused, not to mention upset. “What are you talking about?”
Realizing she’d probably sounded incredibly callous and rude—not to mention presumptuous—Grace bit her lip. She suddenly felt like she didn’t know anything—about him or anything else. Why were relationships so hard sometimes? Why couldn’t you just find the right person and automatically be on the same wavelength?
Grace sighed and glanced out the passenger window, unable to look at Seth any longer. “Lanna told me about you and Mike and how this extreme sports thing all got started. I just assumed that’s why you kept at it—to keep his memory alive.” The words sounded so wrong now, as though Grace had forced herself into a deeply personal part of his life that he might not be ready to share with her.
Seth closed his eyes and let his head flop against the back of his headrest, saying nothing. Moments passed as an uncomfortable silence engulfed the car and sucked some of the oxygen from it. Grace suddenly felt the need to roll down a window, but her fingers stayed clasped tightly together on her lap.
“Yes, Mike’s diagnosis was how it all got started,” Seth finally said. “And I’ll admit that after he died, I kept it up partly because of him. But I also do ‘these things’ as you call them because I like them. Because I love the feeling that comes from staring fear in the face and saying, ‘Bring it on.’ Life has so much to offer, and I want to experience it all.”
Grace swallowed, still staring out the window. When he said nothing more, she asked, “And if I don’t?”
“Then you don’t.” Seth shifted positions and reached for her hand, holding it between them and coercing her to look at him. “Grace, if you didn’t want to do all of this stuff, why didn’t you say so?”
“Because it’s who you are, and I—” She really had no idea how to finish that sentence.
“Exactly,” said Seth. “It’s who I am. But it doesn’t have to be who you are. You’re beautiful, strong, independent, and intelligent. You make me laugh, you’re incredibly fun to tease, and you’re adventurous. Those are all reasons that I love you—reasons that aren’t going away because you don’t want to launch yourself out of a plane or scale a mountain. We have plenty of other things in common.”
“I know,” Grace said, not feeling at all appeased. While she appreciated his words, she also felt like he’d sort of missed the point. It wasn’t about embracing each other’s differences or Grace not wanting to participate in extreme sports. It was about her not wanting him to keep risking his neck. Although he said he didn’t have a death wish, his actions proved otherwise.
But was it fair to ask Seth to change? If he didn’t like that Grace stayed up way too late researching new studies and therapies or that she loved apples and peanut butter—something Seth detested—would it be fair for him to ask her to give those things up? Would he even consider it?
No, because Seth accepted her as is, lock, stock, and barrel. He didn’t want to change Grace any more than he wanted to change himself.
Grace laced her fingers through his, reminding herself yet again that she and Seth were a good match. She loved him, and he loved her. In only a month, they would be married, and if Grace wanted to walk down that aisle with complete confidence, she needed to learn to be as accepting of him as he was of her.
Maybe if Grace wasn’t with him when he jumped out of planes or scaled rocky cliffs, she wouldn’t worry.
Maybe.
“INVITATIONS SEALED, ADDRESSED, and stamped,” Lanna announced, sliding the last one into the box Grace would drop off at the post office on her way back home from the after school center. Lanna had offered the space so they could spread out and stay organized, and Grace had gratefully accepted. They’d met earlier that Saturday morning, and were able to pound out the invitations in only a matter of hours.
Seth had planned on helping, but Grace let him off the hook with a “thanks, but no thanks.” His handwriting was deplorable, so she wasn’t about to let him anywhere near the envelopes. Not the least bit put out, Seth didn’t waste any time rounding up some friends to go mountain biking. Alec included. Her brother had finally purchased a wheelchair mountain bike and couldn’t wait to try it out.
As Grace stuffed the extra invitations and envelopes in a box, her mind wandered in Seth’s direction. Had Seth gone over his handlebars again? Had Alec? What about Owen and Garrett? Were they as care-for-nothing as Seth could be?
An anxious feeling settled in Grace’s stomach. Hopefully, Seth would call soon to let her know they were okay so she could stop worrying about them.
She glanced at Lanna, who didn’t look the least bit concerned. It wasn’t fair. “Aren’t you worried?” Grace blurted. “About Alec mountain biking, I mean?”
Lanna tossed the last of the pens in her drawer and shut it. She shook her head. “I’m actually excited for him. Every time he tries something new that’s out of his comfort zone, something good happens to him. He’s happier, which makes me happier.” She shrugged and leaned against her desk. “Besides, his skiing accident made him realize he’s human, so I know he’ll be careful. Seth, on the other hand . . .” Lanna wiggled her eyebrows in a teasing way.
“Which is exactly why I’m worried.” Grace didn’t see the humor. Lanna was right. Seth wasn’t nearly as cautious, and the reminder only made her more anxious. She frowned. “He’s so reckless sometimes, and I keep picturing him getting thrown from his bike and hurting himself. I wish I could be more like you and not let get it get to me, but I can’t make myself stop.”
Lanna’s expression turned sympathetic. “When I was younger, my mom had this saying framed on our wall. It said, ‘Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.’ For some reason, even as a little girl, I liked it. After they passed away in a car accident, whenever I’d start to worry about what would happen to me and Mike, I’d remember that. It’s helped me so many times.”
Lanna looked like she was about to say something more, but the ringing of Grace’s phone interrupted them. Grace snatched it from her purse and answered without looking at the caller ID.
“Seth?” she said, needing to hear his voice.
“Grace, it’s Alec.”
“Alec?” Grace’s forehead crinkled. What was he doing calling her? Had he meant to call Lanna instead?
“Something’s happened,” Alec said. “There was this jump, and Seth took it, and—Grace, he’s hurt. I’m not sure how bad. We’re waiting for the ambulance now.”
“Ambulance?” The word came out as a hoarse whisper. They’d called an ambulance, which meant that no one dared to move Seth. Which also meant they had to be worried about a serious injury.
Once again, it was as if Grace was transported to the bottom of that ski run, watching Alec get loaded onto a bright orange sled because he wasn’t allowed to move either.
“Tell me he’s okay, Alec. Please,” Grace pleaded.
“He took a bad fall,” said Alec. “He’s unconscious right now, which is why we don’t want to move him.”
Grace’s stomach tied itself into knot after knot after knot. Seth was supposed to be on his way home. Safe. Not injured and unconscious. “Where are you? I’m coming right now.”
“The ambulance will get here before you.” He paused. “I think I hear the siren now. I’ll call you as soon as I know which hospital they’re taking him to.”
“Alec . . .” Grace couldn’t hang up, not until she knew Seth would be okay. Not until she heard his voice.
“I’m sorry,” Alec said. “I’ve gotta go. I’ll promise I’ll call you soon.”
The line went dead. Not kno
wing what else to do, Grace dropped to the nearest seat, clutching the phone with shaking hands. Unconscious. Ambulance. Hospital. The words boomed in her mind like a loud thunderstorm.
Lanna sank down beside her and grabbed hold of her hands. “What happened?”
“Seth’s hurt and unconscious,” Grace managed to say. “They had to call an ambulance.”
Worry knitted Lanna’s brow as her fingers tightened around Grace’s. “He’s going to be okay.”
Don’t say that! she wanted to shout. But it was too late. The words were already out and now hung in the air like a bad omen.
Grace’s mother had told her the same thing that day in the hospital when they were waiting for news of Alec. But her brother had been far from okay, and now anytime Grace heard those words, it did everything but comfort her.
Grace shot Lanna a frustrated look, as though she’d just jinxed Seth. “You don’t know that. Nobody does.” Lanna could tell Grace over and over again that it was useless to worry, but how could she not when Seth was lying on some mountain somewhere, broken and bleeding?
Lanna sighed and tilted her head to the side. “You’re right, I don’t. Maybe he’ll walk away from today just fine, or maybe he’ll end up in a wheelchair like Alec.” She placed her hand on Grace’s. “Either way, he’s still breathing and still alive. In that respect, he will be okay.”
The words sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard. She pulled her hand free. “You don’t get it,” she said. “You’ve only seen the better side of Alec. You weren’t there after his accident. You didn’t have to be the girlfriend who got dumped or the family he tried and tried to push away. For ten years I had to stand by and watch him shrink away from life, knowing there was nothing I could do about it. Ten years! Do you have any idea what that’s like?”
Grace crumpled, dropping her forehead to her palms as the worst of her fears came to the forefront. Seth, no longer smiling. Seth, shutting the blinds on the world and on life. Seth, pushing her away the way Alec had done to his high-school girlfriend. The most difficult times during the past ten years came rushing back, torturing her mind with one painful reminder after another.
Grace couldn’t do it again, especially not with Seth. She wasn’t strong enough to stand by and watch him go through that.
A sob escaped, and Lanna’s arm came around her, rubbing up and down her back. “I’m so sorry, Grace. I didn’t realize.”
Grace’s phone rang again, making her jump. Like a hot potato, she tossed it at Lanna, knowing she was too much of a basket case to take the call.
A short conversation later, Lanna hung up and tugged Grace’s arm. “He’s awake now. They’re taking him to Valley General on the other side of town. Let’s go.”
A car ride had never lasted so long—not even the cross-country trip Grace had taken when she’d moved to Seattle. Every stop light turned red at the wrong time and every car ahead of them drove too slow. What was going on with Seth? Why hadn’t Alec called again? They had to be at the hospital by now. They had to know something.
Please let him be okay, please let him be okay. Over and over she prayed.
Finally, when Grace couldn’t stand it anymore, she grabbed her phone and dialed Alec’s number. He didn’t answer.
“They’ll call when they know something,” Lanna said quietly. “Alec knows how worried we are.”
We. The word served as a rude awakening. Of course Lanna would be just as anxious as Grace. How could she have been so rude before? Fighting back more tears, Grace glanced out the window and watched the buildings pass slowly by.
“I’m sorry,” she said finally. “About before. I’m just such a mess right now, and I didn’t mean to take it out on you.”
“I know.” Lanna squeezed her hand, showing she wasn’t upset or offended. “We’re going to get through this.”
Grace nodded, wishing the driver in front of them would learn how to use his gas pedal.
By the time they arrived at the hospital, the sun was high overhead. Grace slammed the car door shut and raced for the emergency room doors. They still hadn’t heard anything from Alec.
Inside, the receptionist asked them to take a seat while she checked Seth’s records to see where he was and if he was allowed visitors. Grace paced the waiting room and dialed Alec’s phone once again. This time he answered.
“I still don’t have much to tell you,” Alec said without preamble. “Seth’s awake and coherent. He wants to talk to you, but he’s speaking with a nurse right now. We’re in one of the ER rooms, but I’m not sure which one. The doctor says he can’t move until they’ve read the results of the x-rays. Oh wait, here’s the doctor now. Gotta go.”
“Alec?” But he’d already hung up. Grace shoved her phone into her purse and walked straight to the receptionist, who’d finally looked up the information and directed them through two swinging doors.
“Well?” Lanna rushed after her. “What did he say?”
“They’re talking to the doctor now.” Grace rushed down the hallway, walking as fast as she could. Lanna’s footsteps echoed behind her. When they arrived at the right room, the door was open, but Garrett and Owen blocked the way. Grace stopped behind them, straining to hear the doctor’s words.
“Looks like you got off lucky this time,” the doctor said. “Other than a concussion, you’re going to be just fine.”
Relief poured over Grace, making her lightheaded and weak. Seth was okay. Really okay. Lanna had been right after all.
Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe Seth would now see that he was human and breakable and—
“Take care of yourself, and no more crazy stunts, got it?” the doctor added.
“Sorry, but I make no such promises, doc,” Seth’s said with the usual teasing lilt in his voice. “I was that close to landing it, and next time, I will.”
The doctor chuckled while Grace took a small step back, shaking her head. Next time? Why wasn’t Seth treating this more seriously? Didn’t he understand what could have happened? What almost did happen? It was like he didn’t even care that he’d nearly hurt his body beyond repair.
Lanna cleared her throat, giving them away. Garrett glanced over his shoulder and moved aside, opening a path to Seth’s bed.
One foot in front of the other, Grace walked slowly forward as conflicting emotions ping-ponged around inside her head, battling for control. She should feel only joy and relief. She should throw her arms around Seth, kiss him, and tell him how thrilled she was that he was okay. But doubt and fear kept her at the foot of his bed, unable to do anything but stare at the bruises and tape covering the cuts on his once-perfect face.
“About time you got here,” Seth teased, lifting his arms to welcome her into what would be a warm and wonderful hug. She wanted so badly to walk into his arms and accept it, but something held her back.
Seth looked so handsome, so strong, so human—a human that seemed to think he was invincible no matter how many near misses he had. In that moment, Grace realized something. She couldn’t live her life this way—with someone like him. It was too hard, too painful, too much.
Grace couldn’t force herself to go to him and feign relief and joy when she was falling apart inside. Oxygen suddenly seemed hard to come by and the room way too crowded. Grace needed to get out of room and as far away from the hospital and Seth as possible.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “But I can’t do this anymore.” He deserved more of an explanation than that, but Grace couldn’t say anything more—especially not in front of all their friends.
The bed creaked as Seth moved forward, reaching for her. “Grace—”
Prying the engagement ring from her finger, she dropped it on his bed. “I’m so sorry.” With a strangled sob, she took a step back and bumped into someone. Without apologizing, Grace spun around and fled the room. Down the hall she ran, not caring that she didn’t have a ride home. She’d call a cab later.
Once outside in the warm September afternoon, Grace gas
ped for air, feeling like her happy little world had just been torn apart.
Seth grabbed the bag containing his street clothes and began yanking at the ties on his hospital gown. Every movement had his body protesting the pain, but he didn’t care.
“Unless everyone wants a show, I suggest you leave.” The words came out harsh, but all Seth saw was Grace’s ring—the one she should be wearing—sitting on some lousy hospital bed. He needed to find her and talk some sense into her. Now.
With the exception of Alec, everyone filed out of the room. Alec, on the other hand, merely turned his wheelchair away and stared out the window as Seth dressed.
“Don’t go after her just yet,” Alec said quietly.
Seth pulled his t-shirt over his head and grabbed his shoes, plopping down on the bed to put them on. “Why?” Nothing Alec could say would make him not go after Grace.
Alec twisted around to face him, looking worn out, tired, and dirty. “What you did today was stupid.”
“Excuse me?” Seth paused, holding his shoelaces in his hands as he glared at Alec. He’d just lost Grace, and now her brother was calling him stupid? He didn’t need this right now.
“The doctor was right—you did luck out.” Alec wheeled himself closer and glared. “Seth, you attempted a back flip on bike. That’s something you try a hundred times into a pool first. Any sane person would tell you that.”
Seth’s bruised body was saying the same thing, but he wasn’t in the mood to hear it. Not when Grace was getting farther and farther away.
Ignoring Alec, Seth tied the last of his laces and stood, heading for the door.
“She’s right, you know,” Alec’s voice rang out.
Seth stopped and stiffened, knowing he wouldn’t like what Alec had to say. But he couldn’t force himself to walk away either.
Working It Out (A Romantic Comedy) Page 19