‘I don’t suppose you’ve told Stephan you are his grandmother?’
‘No, of course not. He has no idea — but we get on. For some reason he has taken to me … Renee came with me. She is wonderful, simply wonderful, always so composed. We found him sitting calmly by the swimming pool, dropping pebbles. It was obvious he had been smoking pot. We could smell it. He came like a lamb. He could hardly walk. I took him to his room and put him to bed. Several minutes later Dr McLean arrived. Clarissa had called him.’
‘A local doctor?’
‘Yes. A black doctor, whom, it became clear, Clarissa knew very well indeed. She got both doctors — SS and McLean — together in Lord Remnant’s study. The long and the short of it is that a death certificate was eventually produced giving the cause of death as ‘heart attack’. It bore the signatures of the two doctors. Later that night Clarissa called us to the study-’
‘All together?’
‘No. One by one. When my turn came, she took my hand and said she relied on my discretion. She then gave me a cheque. She knew I had a passion for cruises, she said. She told me to treat myself to a cruise. The money she was giving me was enough for ten cruises.’
There was a pause. ‘Did she give the others cheques as well?’
‘I believe she did. I assume so. I never discussed it with anyone. Well, that’s it, really. We all acted in cahoots. I am not in the least sorry Lord Remnant was killed. He was asking for it.’ Hortense sounded defiant. ‘But I am not as strong as I imagined I was. I have been suffering terrible pangs of conscience.’
‘Didn’t Lord Remnant employ any security guards?’ Antonia asked.
‘He did, but it was their night off. There were two of them — unreliable as they come. They returned about midnight, blind drunk. I don’t think they quite took in what had happened. They held their hands to their foreheads in salute. I believe one of them tried to kiss Clarissa. She sacked them the very next day.’
‘What did Stephan say? I mean when he recovered?’ Payne asked. ‘Did he actually admit killing his stepfather?’
‘He said he didn’t remember a thing. He said he must have done it. He actually got rather excited about it. He seemed pleased. He wanted to know every detail.’
‘Where is Stephan now?’
‘At an ultra-expensive place called Sans Souci. He’s already been there a couple of times. Clarissa says they are used to Stephan and his hallucinations there. Which means that if he brags about killing his stepfather, they will think nothing of it.’
‘Why did you send the tape to Gerard Fenwick?’ Payne asked after a pause. ‘You couldn’t have wanted your grandson exposed as a murderer, surely?’
‘No, of course not. That’s the last thing I’d ever want.’ Suddenly Hortense Tilling sat up. She took off her glasses. ‘I have a confession to make. Please, don’t be angry with me. I never sent the tape.’
‘But you said-’
‘I know I let you believe it was me. I did so because I was curious to know what’s been happening. Who’s been saying what and to whom. I’ve been sick with anxiety. I rather hoped you’d tell me more. I am sorry I misled you. I felt I needed to talk to someone. I rather liked your faces. I really did. That’s God’s truth.’
Payne stared back at her. ‘But if you didn’t send the tape, who did?’
‘I left the camera on a side table. For several minutes there was general confusion. Augustine broke down and wept. Then the other two servants appeared — the two women. They also started weeping and wailing and tearing their hair … Then — then I saw-’ Hortense broke off. ‘Oh dear, it must have been her! Yes! I am sure it’s her.’
‘Who?’
‘Louise. Louise Hunter. I saw Louise Hunter pick up the camera. She stood looking down at it. She has one of those big expressionless faces … She must have taken the film out. I don’t think she likes Clarissa. Clarissa was a bit sharp with her … I didn’t see her do it, but she must have done!’
‘But the postmark on the padded envelope was Kensington and Chelsea,’ Payne objected. ‘You are the only one of the house party who lives in Kensington.’
‘Louise comes to Kensington quite often. I have bumped into her several times. She goes to the V amp;A and other museums. There is also a tea place she goes to. Every Thursday afternoon, she told me. Belarus tearooms called Matroni. Actually,’ Hortense said, ‘I have seen her sitting at a table by the window, sipping tea out of a saucer and staring glassily at the samovar. I don’t think she is a particularly contented woman.’
18
Sweet Bird of Youth
Stephan Farrar sat frowning down at his mobile phone. ‘Mummy isn’t answering. She’s the busiest woman in the world. She hasn’t got a moment to spare. That’s why I’m here, I suppose?’
‘That indeed is the reason, dear,’ Nurse Highgrove said comfortably. She plumped the pillows and smoothed the bedspread.
‘I must speak to her. I’ve remembered something. It’s rather urgent, actually. Perhaps I could speak to someone else. Someone who was at La Sorciere when Daddy R. died? Let me see.’ He looked down at his mobile once more. ‘I’ve got Auntie Lou’s number. And Gloves’s. Now, shall I ring Gloves or shall I ring Auntie Lou?’
He was a slender youth who looked about fourteen, with hair the colour of pale butter, cut en brosse, a small nose, a wide mouth and startlingly bright blue eyes that burnt with a feverish flame. He was wearing dark blue silk pyjamas styled as some sort of uniform. He brought to mind Saint-Exupery’s petit prince.
‘Why don’t you phone both of them?’ Nurse Highgrove suggested. ‘I am sure they will be pleased to hear from you. What are friends for? But wait till you’ve had your tea first, why don’t you?’
‘I don’t want any tea. What I want is a fix.’
‘You know you can’t do that sort of thing here, Stephan.’
‘I can see you’re brimming over with moral indignation, aren’t you, Highgrove?’
‘Not at all. I wouldn’t know what moral indignation was if it hit me on the nose. I don’t want you to make yourself sick, dear, that’s all.’
‘I won’t make myself sick. I’m used to it.’
‘You’re sucking your thumb again, Stephan.’
‘Am I? Sorry. Shall I tell you why I like having a fix, Highgrove? Shall I give you a highly rationalized explanation of my addiction? It’s because I like being the subject and the object, the scientist and the experiment, all at the same time. When I have a fix, I’m setting the spirit free by enslaving the body.’
‘That’s clever talk, but I am not sure I approve of it,’ Nurse Highgrove said briskly. ‘Enslaving the body indeed. Doesn’t sound at all nice. As a matter of fact, I’d rather you didn’t say things like that ever again, Stephan.’
‘I remember there was a dinner at Remnant once — a rather grand dinner party. As it happened I’d taken something earlier on, Diamond Skies, I think, while they were serving cocktails. As soon as we sat down, I removed my black tie and announced that I was in fact a rat, then I got under the table and proceeded to gnaw at the ankles of each guest in turn. I eventually passed out at Princess Michael of Kent’s feet.’ Stephan laughed. ‘Everybody pretended nothing had happened, but I don’t think Daddy R. was amused.’
‘What’s Diamond Skies? No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.’
‘As in “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” — everybody knows what that means.’ There was a pause. ‘I’ve got something on my mind, Highgrove,’ he said.
‘What is it, dear?’
‘You know that I said I killed Daddy R.?’
‘Yes? What about it?’ Nurse Highgrove had already heard the story of the killing of Daddy R. She was a stoutish, grey-haired woman in a neat uniform, with a robust no-nonsense air about her. She not only looked but sounded like an old-fashioned nanny of the tender ogress type. That, indeed, was one of the reasons she had got the job at the clinic.
‘Well, I don’t think I could actually have
done it,’ he said thoughtfully. ‘It suddenly came to me.’
‘Shall I tell you something? I never for a moment imagined you killed anyone, dear.’ She patted his arm. ‘A nice boy like you.’
‘Could I have a smoke, do you think? It would help me to concentrate.’
‘You know you can’t, Stephan. It’s not allowed.’
‘I don’t mean Maria-Juana. I mean a cigarette.’
‘Who is Maria-Juana? Oh! I see. You are so naughty, Stephan!’
‘I want a cigarette. I know you smoke. Give me one of your cigarettes, Highgrove. Please.’
‘I am sorry, Stephan, but smoking is not allowed on the premises. Dr Mandrake would be furious. You don’t want to make Dr Mandrake cross, do you?’
‘No.’ Stephan sighed.
‘I might lose my job, you know … What was it you were saying about the murder? I thought it sounded very interesting.’
‘Daddy R. was jolly rich and I always thought how good it would be if he were to die because then Mummy and Uncle Gerry would get everything. I hated Daddy R. because he was a bully and a madman. But I couldn’t have killed him. I thought I did, but I was wrong.’ Stephan frowned. ‘I was at the right place, at the right time, as they say, but I couldn’t have killed him.’
‘A good thing you remembered, dear.’
‘I was on the terrace and I remember wearing Bottom’s head, but it was too hot, so I took the head off. It was very quiet. There was a full moon. It was the colour of blood oranges and it had taken its place, like something in a stage set, above and to the right of La Sorciere … I stood by the french window and peeped in. They were starting the play. Daddy R. was alive then. He and Mummy were wearing crowns and looked really silly. Daddy R. had a beard and a false nose.’
‘A false nose! Fancy!’
‘It was too hot, not a breath of wind, so I went to the pool. It is always cooler by the pool. I felt like having some Maria-Juana, I really wanted some, so I rang Karen and told her to bring me some. I’d already had some cocoa, but that was earlier on, much earlier on.’
‘Cocoa? Did you really? A nice hot cup of cocoa?’
‘No, not that kind of cocoa, Highgrove. I mean cocoa.’ He held up his pockmarked arm.
‘Dear me! Please, don’t do that, Stephan.’ She covered her eyes with her hand. ‘It gives me the heebie-jeebies.’
He laughed. ‘I sat by the pool and waited. Then Karen came and we lit up.’
‘Who was Karen? Do remind me.’
‘My girlfriend. Sort of. Her skin is as black as the coal Tradewell puts in the fireplaces at Remnant. I like that. When it’s dark, she is practically invisible. I don’t like English girls. English girls are pink and they look like shrimps, or they are fat, and they can’t kiss properly. Anyway, we kissed a bit, then we lit up. I don’t remember what happened after that, but Karen stayed with me all the time and she only ran away when Aunt Tense and Gloves appeared, you see.’
‘You remember them coming?’
‘No — but Aunt Tense told me about it the next day. I phoned Karen earlier on, actually, because it bothered me. I mean the time factor. I asked her if I ever went somewhere and she said no. I then asked her if she ever left my side and she said, no, she didn’t. Not till she’d heard footsteps.’
‘You phoned Jamaica on your mobile? Isn’t that expensive?’
‘I phoned the Grenadin Island. That’s not Jamaica. Mummy told me I could talk on my mobile as much as I pleased. We are awfully rich, you know. Daddy R. used to feed his dog with caviar. He loved his dog, but then one day he got angry with him and shot him. Anyway, Karen says she was with me all the time. She said I never went anywhere. She’d have known if I had. She wouldn’t lie, why would she? There’s also the gun.’
‘What’s so special about the gun?’
‘It was the gun from Daddy R.’s desk, Highgrove. I mean Gloves said that. That’s Renee. Now, I remember I meant to take the gun, I can’t remember why exactly, but I sneaked up to Daddy R.’s study and opened the drawer and the gun wasn’t there! That was earlier on. While everybody was getting into costume. Do you see what that means?’
‘What, dear?’
‘It means it couldn’t have been me. I couldn’t have shot Daddy R. It was somebody else. They thought it was me because I hated Daddy R., because I’d already tried to shoot him, but it wasn’t.’ Stephan frowned again. ‘As a matter of fact, I think I know who killed him.’
‘Who is it? Who killed Daddy R.?’ Nurse Highgrove stood beside the door, looking at him. There was an odd expression in the boy’s eyes. She knew it was all nonsense; the doctor had warned her to expect a lot of nonsense, yet she had to admit there was something in the way Stephan spoke, something about his wide staring eyes, that she found compelling.
‘It’s too scary. You’ll probably think I’m making it all up. It’s too scary,’ he repeated. ‘You’ll get the heebie-jeebies,’ he warned her.
‘I won’t.’
‘You’d never believe it. You’ll say I’m making it up. Would you let me have a smoke if I told you?’
‘No. Smoking is not allowed.’
‘Please.’
‘Out of the question.’
He sighed. ‘All right. It was the Grimaud. It was the Grimaud who killed Daddy R.’
19
Speak, Memory!
‘Don’t know what to make of Aunt Hortense,’ Major Payne said. ‘Would you say she was as cunning as the coiled cobra she used to wear round her wrist?’
‘I am not sure. That would be overrating her, I think.’
He started the engine. ‘Toute verite n’est pas bonne a dire indeed … Does she really believe that telling half-truths or distorted truths is better than telling no truth at all? It’s pretty much the same thing, isn’t it? No — it’s worse!’
‘She was quivering like a twig in a gale,’ Antonia said thoughtfully. ‘Could she be the killer?’
‘Technically speaking she could be. She wasn’t in the room at the crucial time.’
‘She said she’d gone to the loo … She’d watched their rehearsals. That means she must have been familiar with the exact position of the body on the chaise longue and so on,’ Antonia mused. ‘She knew Lord Remnant would be in a direct line to the french windows. She was actually caught on camera drawing the silk curtains across the windows just before the sketch started. Did you notice?’
‘I most certainly did,’ said Payne. ‘You mean — she could have been making sure she wouldn’t be seen?’
‘Exactly. She could easily have popped out through a side door, run across the terrace and shot Lord R. through the curtains, dropped the gun and run back into the room. It would have taken a minute, if that.’
‘Yes. She might easily have got hold of the gun earlier on … She might have been hiding it in the folds of her dress, or inside her handbag.’
‘Stephan was on the terrace, wearing the Bottom head, but he was probably too cranked up to make sense of what was going on …’
‘Or he wasn’t there at all,’ said Payne. ‘By the time Hortense appeared on the terrace, he might have taken off the head and removed himself. Perhaps it was Aunt Hortense who put on the Bottom head? A somewhat bizarre touch, but that’s what she would do if she wanted to throw suspicion on Stephan.’
‘Would she have wanted to throw suspicion on her grandson? Involve him in a murder case?’
‘She might have instinctively assumed that the police would never be called, that Lord Remnant’s murder would never become a case.’
‘But what was her motive?’
‘Well, she hated Lord Remnant. She made that abundantly clear. She thought the world would be a better place without him. Lord Remnant said and did infuriating things. He called her Miss Baedeker. He hid her glasses.’
‘You wouldn’t kill someone because they hid your glasses, would you?’
‘He laughed when she said sorry to an armchair after bumping into it. Perhaps she couldn’t bear to watch
him humiliating Clarissa?’
‘The mother love motive.’ Antonia nodded. ‘And what a powerful motive that can be … It’s possible, I suppose. She kept saying how much she loved her daughter …’
‘If this were a whodunnit, Miss Tilling would be the least likely suspect. The Addled Aunt. Bespectacled, garrulous, inconsequential and disarmingly scatty. Strictly for comic relief purposes.’
‘Actually, Hugh, she is not such a typical aunt figure. She is the Aunt with a Past.’
‘Yes. I keep wondering about her past … She looked damned attractive in that photo, with her come-hither smile and Keppel Clasp. Didn’t look like an aunt at all. She was a bad girl. Giving birth out of wedlock and so on. Comes from a line of bad girls, if the Keppel link is anything to go by. Mrs Keppel, Violet Trefusis, the former Mrs Parker Bowles. All of them bad girls.’
Antonia said, ‘I really doubt whether drug-riddled Stephan would have been able to focus well enough to plug his stepfather’s nape.’
‘The same objection could be raised about Hortense. If Hortense’s eyesight is so bad that she apologizes to armchairs, could she have got Lord Remnant so accurately in the head? It would have been like the man in the fairy tale who manages to shoot a fly in one eye.’
‘Unless she exaggerated her bad eyesight …’
There was a pause. ‘Lord Remnant had been receiving death threats,’ said Payne. ‘It may have been one or more of the locals who killed him, though would they have been able to get hold of his gun?’
‘The black major-domo might have given it to them.’
‘Indeed he might … Still, the murder was committed with Lord Remnant’s gun, which suggests it was an inside job.’
‘Louise Hunter may be afraid of taking any direct action. Do you think she would talk to us?’
‘She might. Let’s try to beard her as she has tea at the Matroni tearooms in Kensington, shall we?’ Payne suggested. ‘Or you could do it by yourself — less threatening, perhaps?’
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