by Adele Abbott
“I told you about the report, Megan,” he said.
“How can an iron supplement be bad for you? What do you think, Jill?”
“Me—err—I guess I’d err on the side of caution. Better to be safe than sorry.”
“I suppose you’re right,” she conceded, somewhat begrudgingly.
“It looks as though our other guests have arrived. I’d better go say hello. Why don’t you go and get a drink?”
“Blake, Jen, glad you could make it.”
“Long time, no see, Jill,” Jen said.
“Blake tells me we’ll be losing you soon. You’re going to run a pub, I hear?”
“Yes. We’re looking forward to it, even if it is all rather sudden.”
“We’ll be sorry to see you go. I assume the ‘For sale’ board will be going up soon?”
“Actually, we’ve decided to follow Mrs Rollo’s example,” Blake said. “House prices are rather flat, so we’re going to rent it out, for a year at least. Then we can review it.”
“Plus, that would mean we have the option of coming back if the pub doesn’t work out,” Jen said.
“I’m sure it will work out just fine. I can picture you both behind a bar.”
“We’ve already spoken to an agent, and he reckons there’ll be no problem letting the house, so you could have a new neighbour in a week or so.”
Just then, my phone rang. “Sorry, I have to take this. Why don’t you go and get a drink?” I waited until they were out of earshot. “Grandma?” My initial thought was that she’d somehow heard about the barbecue, and wanted to know why she hadn’t been invited.
“You need to get over here now,” she snapped.
“I can’t. I have a thing.”
“Forget about your thing. This is important.”
“We’re having a barbecue. I can’t just leave my guests.”
“I’m at my house in Candlefield. If you magic yourself here and back, no one will even know you were gone.”
“Okay. I’ll be there in a moment.”
“Jill!” Jack called to me as I made my way back to the house. “What time are Kathy and Peter coming over?”
“They said midday; they should be here anytime.”
“Can you just keep an eye on the steaks for a minute? I need to go to the loo.”
“Sorry, I can’t. I need to go too, and it’s urgent.” I dashed into the house before he had the chance to argue. Once inside, I hurried upstairs, squeezed through the spare bedroom door, and magicked myself over to Candlefield.
***
It wasn’t often that I visited Grandma at her house. She’d sounded so desperate that I wondered if she might be ill.
She wasn’t. She was in rude health, and as ugly as ever.
What? It’s true.
“What is it, Grandma? What was so urgent that it couldn’t wait?”
“Witchfinders.”
“What about them?”
“I’ve heard that there’s been a shake-up at the top. The head witchfinder, an old guy by the name of Cuthbert Hargreaves, has retired. Or, if the rumours are true, he’s been forcibly retired.”
“Where did you hear about that?”
“WOW.”
“I only asked.”
“That’s where I heard about it. From WOW.”
“What’s Wow?”
“W-O-W. Witches of Washbridge.”
“I’m still no wiser.”
“WOW is a group of Washbridge witches who meet up on a regular basis to discuss all things witch-related. A sort of social club, if you like.”
“How come I’ve never heard of it before?”
“Why would you have?”
“Let me think. Maybe because I’m a witch and I live in Washbridge.”
“That may be so, but membership is by invitation only. Have you received one?”
“No. Who’s responsible for issuing them?”
“The WOW committee.”
“Is there anyone I know on the committee?”
“Apart from me, you mean?”
“You’re on the committee?”
“The chairman, actually.”
“So, how come you haven’t invited me to join?”
“That would smack of nepotism. Anyway, we aren’t here to discuss WOW. There are more urgent matters that require our attention. The guy who has taken over as the head of the witchfinders is called Rex Wrathbringer.”
“That has to be a made-up name.”
“It is. His real name is Rex Radish, but he changed it by deed poll.”
“I can’t say I blame him, but what does it matter to us who’s in charge there?”
“It matters a lot. The new guy has something to prove, and if what I hear is true, he plans to make his mark by grabbing a number of high profile scalps. And you know who fits that bill, don’t you?”
“Me?”
“And me. If his people can destroy either of us, it will be a feather in Rex’s cap.”
“Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll keep my eyes peeled.”
“You’ll need to do a lot more than just keep your eyes peeled. According to what I hear, Rex is sending two or three new witchfinders to Washbridge. We need to find out who they are and when they’re coming.”
“And how are we supposed to do that?”
“We aren’t. You are.”
“How?”
“You’re going to get your new buddy, Yvonne, to tell you, of course.”
“You know Yvonne was a witchfinder?” I was stunned. “How do you know?”
“Because, my dear young lady, I’m not as green as I’m cabbage-looking.”
Come to think of it, she did look a little like a cabbage—in profile, that is. Probably best not to mention it, though.
“When did you find out?”
“I knew as soon as I met her at that awful party.”
“You never said anything.”
“I did consider destroying her there and then, but I thought you and Jack might not appreciate that, so I made out like I didn’t know. Anyway, it was obvious that she’d retired. I figured she’d want to keep on your good side, and might come in handy at some point. Looks like I was right.”
“I’m not sure about this. Yvonne and I got off to a rocky start, but we’re okay now. I don’t think she’d appreciate—”
“Spare me the excuses. This is a matter of life and death. You don’t have a choice; you have to do this! Have I made myself clear?”
“Crystal.”
“Good. I suppose you’ll be wanting to go back to your barbecue. The one you didn’t invite me to.”
“It’s only for a few neighbours. The main reason we decided to have one was so that Kathy’s kids could see the new sandpit we had put in for them.”
“I assume you’ve checked it for sand demons.”
“Very funny.” I laughed.
“I’m glad you think it’s a laughing matter.”
“I thought they were only found under the beaches.”
“Says who? That’s how it used to be, but there are so many people hunting for them now, that some have migrated to the human world.”
“To the seaside resorts, surely?”
“Most of them, yes. But the others—”
“Sandpits? Oh no! I have to go!”
“Thank goodness you’re back.” Jack collared me as soon as I stepped out of the house. “Watch these steaks, would you? I’m bursting to go to the loo.”
“I have to check the sandpit first.”
“The sandpit is just fine. Now take this.” He handed me the tongs, and then shot into the house.
Fortunately, there was no one in the sandpit yet, so I’d be able to check it out as soon as he got back.
“Auntie Jill!” Lizzie appeared around the corner of the house, pursued by another three kids: two girls and one boy. There was no sign of Mikey.
“Hi, Lizzie. Are these your friends?”
“Yeah. Mummy said they could come and play in the sa
ndpit too.”
“Right. Where’s Mikey?”
“He’s gone fishing with his friend. He said sandpits are just for babies, but they’re not, are they?”
“Definitely not.”
“Can we go in it now?”
“Of course, you can,” Kathy said, before I had a chance to speak. She and Peter were standing behind the kids.
“Hold on! Wait!” I yelled at the kids—stopping them dead in their tracks. “I have to check something first.” I handed the tongs to Kathy.
“What do you need to check?” She gave me a puzzled look.
“The—err—depth.”
“Depth? It’s not a swimming pool.”
“I know, but it just occurred to me that I haven’t checked how deep the sand is. I wouldn’t want anyone to get sucked under.” I jumped into the sandpit, and quickly cast the ‘detect-a-sand-demon’ spell. Much to my relief it came back as all clear. “It’s fine, kids. Not too deep at all. In you get.”
The kids whooped with excitement, and then jumped in. Jack had bought two buckets and spades because he’d been expecting only Lizzie and Mikey. Lizzie took charge of handing those out.
“Cindy and I get to have the spades first. Charlotte, you and David can have them in a few minutes.”
Sheesh, she was just like her mother.
Meanwhile, back at the barbecue, Jack had taken command once again.
“Are you sure the sand depth is okay?” Kathy smirked.
“Sand depth?” Jack looked puzzled.
“Jill was worried about the depth of the sand, weren’t you, Jill?” Suddenly Kathy’s eyes widened, and I could see a look of horror on her face. My heart sank. Had the sand demon evaded me? Had it grabbed Lizzie or one of the other kids? “What are those?” Kathy pointed.
I spun around to find two man-sized crabs had appeared in the garden.
“It’s okay.” I reassured her. “Those are our neighbours, Tony and Clare.”
“Hi, everyone,” Tony the crab said. “Thanks for inviting us. I hope you don’t mind us coming dressed like this, but we have another cosplay con next weekend, and we thought this would give us a chance to try out our costumes.”
“CrabCon?” I asked.
“CrustaceanCon, actually, but crabs are our favourites.”
The look on both Kathy and Peter’s faces was a picture.
“Grub’s up!” Jack shouted, and everyone made their way over to the barbecue.
“Sorry about the weird neighbours,” I whispered to Kathy.
“They probably say the same thing to their friends.”
“Jack and I aren’t weird.”
“Jack isn’t.”
“Thanks. So, anyway, what about that paintball?” I grinned. “Did we whup your sorry backsides or what?”
“I still say you cheated.”
“How?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t figured it out yet, but I will.”
Good luck with that. Snigger.
Chapter 18
Jules was standing at the top of the stairs, outside the door to the outer office.
“Have you forgotten your key?”
“No. You can’t go in there, Jill.”
“Why not? What’s wrong?”
“It’s full of bugs.”
“What do you mean? Let me take a look.”
“No! Don’t open the door.”
I ignored her, opened the door, and stepped inside. And immediately wished I hadn’t. The noise from their wings was deafening, and I could barely see through the swarm.
Of locusts.
I had two choices: turn back and retreat, or try to make it to my office. I decided to go for it, and ran at full pelt. The tiny creatures crashed against my face and body, and I could even feel them in my hair. For a moment, I wasn’t sure that I was going to make it, but then I managed to grab the door handle, and escape.
My heart was still pounding as I rested with my back against the door. Thankfully, the locusts hadn’t made it into my office. Apart from the few that I had to pick out of my hair, that is.
“Did I do a good job or what?” Winky was on the sofa, looking very pleased with himself.
“Are you responsible for this?”
“I can’t take all of the credit. I did have some assistance from Bertie the Bug, but yes, it was my idea. Brilliant, don’t you think?”
“Are you totally insane?”
“You said you wanted the plants gone, and now they’re gone. And don’t worry, I didn’t forget that you wanted to keep a couple.” He pointed to the two pot plants next to my desk. “I brought those in here before Bertie released the locusts.”
“There is of course one minor flaw with your plan.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
“You may have got rid of the plants, but now I can’t get into the outer office because it’s full of LOCUSTS!”
“I know a man who could get rid of those for you, but it will cost—” He ducked to avoid the stapler I’d launched at him. “Hey! That nearly hit me!”
“Come here. I’m going to kill you!”
“That’s just ungrateful, if you ask me,” he said, as he disappeared under the sofa.
After making a call to Bugs Vamoose, I braved another locust-run, to re-join Jules.
“Thank goodness you’re okay, Jill. I thought the bugs had got you.”
“There’s a man coming to get rid of them. He should be here within the hour.”
“That’s quick.”
“Only because I agreed to pay for their Superfast Express service. It’s going to cost an arm and a leg.”
“I’ve just had a horrible thought.” The colour drained from Jules’ face.
“What?”
“You don’t think—” Her words drifted away as she stared at the office door.
“What is it, Jules?”
“You don’t think Annabel is in there, do you?”
“Mrs V? No. Of course not. Why? Did she say she was coming in today?”
“No, but then she rarely does; she just turns up—usually before I do. What if she went into the office, and those horrible things—” Jules buried her face in her hands. “What if they’ve eaten her?”
“I’m sure she isn’t in there. I would have seen her. Wouldn’t I?” Now I was really worried. What if the locusts had stripped Mrs V’s body to the bone?
I made a call.
“Hello?”
“Mrs V? Thank goodness.”
“Jill? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. We—err—nothing. I just thought I’d call to say good morning.”
“Are you feeling alright, dear?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. See you later. Bye.”
Jules and I breathed a joint sigh of relief.
“So? Where are they?” The Bugs Vamoose man was barely visible beneath the netting which covered his face.
“Through there.” I pointed to the office door. “There are lots of them.”
“And you’re sure they’re locusts? I don’t get many callouts for locusts. It’s mainly wasps or bees. Cockroaches too.”
“They’re definitely locusts. Can you handle those?”
“Of course.”
“Will you have to kill them?”
“No. I’ll just sing them a lullaby until they fall asleep. What do you think? Now, please stand back.”
“How long will this take?”
“Not long, but you won’t be able to use the office for several hours afterwards. Any more questions before I start?”
“No. Thanks.” Once he was inside, I turned to Jules. “There isn’t much point in you hanging around. Why don’t you take the day off?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Will you give Mrs V a call, please, and tell her not to come in today?”
“What shall I tell her if she asks why?”
“You might as well tell her the truth. And you can mention that we won’t need Mr Greenfinger to remove the plants now.”
Jules had left, and I was just about to go and get myself a coffee, when a young man came charging up the stairs.
“Wait! You can’t go in there!” I yelled at him, as he reached for the door handle.
“Why not? I want to see that Gooder woman.”
He was wearing jeans and a denim waistcoat. His arms were covered in tattoos—including one of a squirrel hammering nails into a coffin. And to finish off the look, he had a shaved head.
“I’m Jill Gooder.”
“What’s wrong with Andrea?”
“Andrea Teller?”
“Yeah. What’s the matter with her? No one will tell me.”
“Who are you?”
“I’m Charlie. Charlie Drudge. I’m her boyfriend. I want to know what’s wrong with her.”
“Did you know she was in Regent’s Hospital?”
“Yeah. Someone said she’d gone crazy, but that’s bull. She was fine the other day when she was with me.”
“How did you get my name?”
“I spoke to Carl at Total Cuts. He said you’d been asking questions about Andrea. I want to know what’s going on.”
“Why don’t you sit down?” I pointed to the stairs. “I’ll tell you everything I know, which isn’t very much.”
“Why can’t we go into your office?”
“I’ve got bugs.”
“I work in security. I could sweep the place for you, if you like?”
“Not that kind of bug.” I waved my arms up and down. “The flying, creepy-crawly type.”
“Yuk!” He shuddered. “I hate creepy-crawlies.”
We sat on the stairs, and I told him everything I knew.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” he said.
“Not that I can think of, but I’ll keep you posted if I have any more news.”
“Thanks, and I’m sorry for bursting in like that.”
“No problem.”
“Good luck with the bugs.”
When Carl at Total Cuts had told me that Andrea’s boyfriend had tattoos, piercings, and a shaved head, I’d been convinced he was talking about Billy Bhoy. That had led me to believe that Billy was the common factor between the two cases. I now realised that Carl had been talking about Charlie Drudge.