by Raye Morgan
The minutes stretched and she fell asleep, her hands on her rounded belly. The next thing she knew, there was an elderly man standing over her, peering down as if to figure out who she was and just exactly why she was sleeping in his chair.
“Oh!” she cried, and she jumped up as smoothly as she could with the extra weight she was carrying. “I’m sorry, I…”
“Sit down, sit down.” He waved his cane at her sternly. “Just sit down there and let me look at you, girl.”
She glanced toward the exit, wishing she could take it, but reluctantly, she sank back down into the chair and tried to smile. She knew right away who this was, and if she hadn’t known, she would have guessed. She could see hints lurking behind the age-ravaged face of a man who had once looked a lot like Cam, blue eyes and all.
“So you’re Jed Collins’s daughter, are you?” he growled. “You sure do look like your mom. She was one of the prettiest gals in the valley in those days.”
“Th…thank you,” she said, still unsettled by this chance encounter. “I think.”
He nodded. “She ran off when you were a little one, didn’t she? Ever find out what happened to her?”
Diana bristled a bit at the sense that he seemed to think he had a right to delve into her family matters at will. But she reminded herself that he probably thought of himself as a sort of elder statesman of the community, and she held back her resentment, shaking her head. “No, sir. Never did.”
“You ought to get Cam to look for her. He could find her. That boy can do just about anything.”
“I don’t want to find her.”
He stared at her for a moment and then gave a short shout of laughter.
“You’re as tough as she was, aren’t you? Good. Your dad was weak and he couldn’t hold on to her. But who’d have thought she was tough enough to go off and leave her baby girl behind like she did? I’m telling you, nobody expected that one.”
His casual assumptions outraged her. Who did he think he was to make these judgments on her family members? And yet, he was bringing up issues no one ever dared talk about in front of her. So in a way, it was sort of refreshing to get things out in the open. She’d never really had a chance to give her thoughts on the situation before, with everyone tiptoeing around it. Now was her chance, and she took it.
“You call that being tough?” she challenged, trying to ignore the lump that was rising in her throat. “For a woman to leave her six-year-old daughter behind in the care of a man who had no ability to handle it?” Her eyes flashed with anger, and that was reassuring. She would rather have anger than tears. “I call it being selfish and cruel.”
He reared back and considered what she had to say as though he wasn’t used to people disagreeing with his proclamations.
“Well, you would I suppose. But you don’t know why she did it, do you? You’re judging results, not motives.”
She drew in a sharp breath. “You’re darn right I’m judging results. I’m living the results.”
He chuckled. “You’ve got fire in you, I’ll say that,” he said gruffly. “I know that grandson of mine has always had a special place in his heart for you.” He frowned, looking at her. “But we all have to make sacrifices.”
“Do we?”
“Damn right we do.” He waved his cane at her again. “He promised me years ago he would marry one of the gals from the Five Families. I had everything set up and ready to go when he lit out on me. Left that poor little girl in the lurch.”
He stamped his cane on the ground and suddenly he looked exhausted, leaning on it.
“Now he’s going to have to make up for it.” He shook his shaggy head. “He’s a good boy. I knew he’d come through in the end. Not like his worthless father.”
Diana stared at him. This was all news to her. “Cam was set to marry someone when he left ten years ago?” she asked softly, heart sinking. That would explain a lot. And make things murkier in other ways.
“Darn right he was. Little Missy Sinclair. Now he’ll finally get the job done.”
Cam appeared in the doorway before the old man could go on with his ramblings.
“Here you are,” he said to his grandfather. “I didn’t know you’d come all the way downstairs.” He threw Diana a glance as he came up and took the old man’s arm. “Come on. I’ll help you back to your room.”
“I’m okay, I’m okay,” the older man grumbled. “I’ve just been talking to the Collins girl here. Pretty little thing, isn’t she? Just like her mama.”
“That she is,” Cam agreed with a grin her way. “And the more you get to know her, the more you’re going to like her.”
“Well, I don’t know about that,” he muttered as his grandson led him away. “We’ll see, I suppose.”
Diana sat where she was as they disappeared down the hallway. She would wait. She knew Cam would come back down to talk to her. And she had some things she wanted to talk about—like secret engagements and leaving people in the lurch.
She looked up as he walked back into the room.
“Sorry about that,” he told her with a quick smile. “He usually doesn’t come downstairs these days. I hope he didn’t say anything…well, anything to upset you.” His gaze was bright as he looked at her and she had the distinct impression he was afraid exactly that had happened. And in a way, he was right.
“He did say something that surprised me,” she told him, wishing her tone didn’t sound quite so bitter, but not knowing how to soften it right now. “I didn’t know you were supposed to marry someone just before you ran off to join the circus ten years ago.”
He sat down on the arm of her large leather chair and shook his head as he looked down at her. If her use of that phrase for his leaving didn’t show him that she still harbored a grievance from those days, her tone would have given him a clue.
“Di, come on. I didn’t run off to join the circus.”
“Well, you might as well have.” She bit her lip, realizing she was revealing a reservoir of long pent-up anger against him for doing what he’d done and leaving her behind. Just like her mother had. Funny, but she’d never connected those two events until today, when Cam’s grandfather had forced the issue.
“There were a lot of reasons behind my leaving at the time,” he told her, taking her hand up and holding it in his.
This was all old news as far as he was concerned. He’d thought she understood all this. Of course, he had to admit, he’d never told her about the arranged marriage that never happened—mostly because he’d always known he wouldn’t go through with it. And so had the so-called “bride.” It had never been a major issue in his thinking—except to avoid it.
“Mostly I needed to get out from under the suffocating influence of my grandfather. And part of what he was trying to force on me was a marriage to a girl I had no interest in marrying. But that was just part of it.”
She nodded, digesting that. “Who was she?”
He hesitated, thinking. “Tell you the truth, I forget her name.”
“Missy Sinclair?”
He looked at her penetratingly. “If you knew it, why did you ask?”
She shrugged. The turmoil inside her was making her nauseous. “Did you ask her to marry you at the time?”
“No.” He began to play with her fingers as he talked. “It wasn’t like that. Me marrying Missy was cooked up between my grandfather and Missy’s grandfather about the time she was born. I had nothing to do with it and never actually agreed to it. Never.”
Diana took in a deep breath, trying to stabilize her emotions. “Where is she now? Is she still waiting?”
“Are you kidding?” He laughed and went on, mockingly. “Selfish girl. She couldn’t wait ten years. She went ahead and married some guy she actually loved. Strange, huh?”
She finally looked up and searched his blue eyes. “You didn’t love her? Not even a little bit?”
He pressed her fingers to his lips and kissed them, holding her gaze with his own the whole time
. “No, Diana, I didn’t love her and she didn’t love me. It was our grandfathers who loved the idea of us getting married. We both rebelled against it. The whole thing was dead on arrival from the beginning. The only one who even remembers the agreement is my grandfather. Forget about it. It meant nothing then and means nothing now.”
She closed her eyes. She really had no right questioning him about this. What did she think she was doing? He had a right to get engaged to anyone he wanted. She had no hold on him, even though the things he did could hurt her more deeply than anything anyone else alive could do.
If only she had followed through on her original intention to stay away from Cam. Now it was too late. She was heading for heartbreak on a crazy train and there was no way to get off without crashing.
CHAPTER NINE
BABY MIA was moving all the time now. Diana was bursting with joy at the feeling. The tiny butterfly wing flapping sensations had grown into full-fledged kicks. She would feel Mia begin to move and she would bite her lip and her eyes would sparkle and she would think, “There you go, little girl! Stretch those little legs. You’ll be running in no time.”
It was hard feeling like she couldn’t tell the people around her what was happening. One afternoon, she couldn’t contain it any longer. Mia was kicking so hard, it was making her laugh. She sidled up to Cam, who was overseeing some workers who were building a trellis and whispered to him.
“Give me your hand.”
He looked at her, surprised. He’d just come back from a meeting with some bankers, so he was in a business suit and sunglasses and looking particularly suave and sensational. But he did what she asked, and she placed his hand right on the pertinent part of her tummy.
He stood very still for a moment, then turned to her with wonder in his eyes.
“Oh my God. Is that…?”
“Yes.” Her smile was all encompassing. “Isn’t it funny?”
He stared at her, his blue eyes luminous. “It’s like a miracle.”
She nodded, filled with joy. He took her hand and pulled her behind the gazebo where they could have a bit of privacy.
“How amazing to feel a new life inside you,” he said, flattening his hand on her stomach again with more hope than success. “Di, it’s wonderful.”
“I can’t tell you how transporting it is,” she agreed. “It’s really true. I’m like a different person.”
His smile grew and took in all of her. “No,” he said, cupping her cheek with the palm of his hand. “You’re the same person. You just have new parts of you blossoming.”
She nodded happily. Impulsively she reached up and kissed him, then turned quickly and retreated, back to work. But his reaction had warmed her to the core. She loved her baby and having him appreciate that, even a little bit, was super. Just knowing she had her baby with her was enough to flood her with happiness. All the worries and cares of the day fell away as she concentrated on the baby she was bringing to the world.
She had some qualms about raising Mia alone, without a father figure to balance her life. She’d gone through a lot of soul searching before she’d taken the plunge into single motherhood. Was it fair to the child? Would she be able to handle it? She knew she was taking a risk and that it would be very hard, but she also knew she would do what was best for her baby, no matter what. And once she’d taken the step, she hadn’t looked back for one minute.
She’d begun to buy baby clothes and to plan what she was going to do with the second bedroom in her house, the one she was converting into a nursery.
“I’ll paint it for you,” Cam had offered. “You shouldn’t be breathing in those paint fumes while you’re carrying Mia.”
She’d taken him up on that offer and they had spent a wonderful Saturday trading off work and playing with Billy and the kitten. While Cam painted the room pink, Diana made chocolate chip cookies and worked on a pet bed she was constructing for the puppy.
Afterward, they took fishing poles out to the far side of the lake and caught a few trout, just like they had in the old days, catch and release. Diana made a salad for their evening meal and afterward, Cam found her old guitar and sat on the couch, playing some old forgotten standards and singing along while she watched.
A perfect day—the sort of day she would want for her baby to grow up with, surrounded by happiness and love. If only she could find a way to have more of them.
She walked him out to his car as he was leaving. The crickets were chirping and the frogs were croaking. He kissed her lightly. She knew she shouldn’t allow it, but it was so comforting, so sweet. She leaned against him and he held her loosely.
“What would your father say if he could see you now?” he wondered.
She thought for a moment. “If he could see me now, he’d be out here with a shotgun, warning you to go home,” she said with a laugh.
“You’re probably right,” he said. “Maybe it’s just as well he’s gone.”
“I do actually miss him sometimes,” she said pensively. “And I know I’m going to wish he could see Mia once she’s born.”
“Better he’s not here to make her life miserable, too,” Cam said cynically.
She sighed, knowing he was right but wishing he wasn’t. If only she could have had a normal father. But then, what was normal anyway?
“He apologized to me toward the end, you know,” she told him.
“Did he?”
She nodded. “He told me a lot of things I hadn’t known before, things that explained a lot, things about his own insecurities and how he regretted having treated my mother badly. It’s taken me some time to assimilate that information and assign the bits and pieces their proper importance in my life. Just having him do that, filling in some gaps, put things into a whole new perspective for me.”
“No matter what his excuses, it can’t justify what he did to you,” Cam said darkly. Anger burned in him when he remembered how those bruises had covered her arms at times.
“No, I know that. I want to forgive him, but it’s hard. It’s only been very recently that I’ve even been able to start trying to understand him…and my mother…and what they did.”
He held her more closely. “You deserved better parents.”
She sighed. “I’m trying to get beyond blaming them. In a way, they only did what they were capable of doing.”
He didn’t believe that, but he kept his dissent to himself. If she needed to forgive them to make her life easier, so be it. He had no problem with that. He only knew that he didn’t forgive what they’d done to her and there was a part of him that would be working to make it up to her for the rest of his life.
Billy began to yip for attention back in the house. They laughed.
“I guess I’d better get going,” he said.
He looked at her from under lowered lids, looked at her mouth, then let his gaze slide down to where her breasts pushed up against the opening of her shirt. His blood began to quicken, and then his pure male reaction began to stir, and he knew it was time to go.
She nodded, but she didn’t turn away.
He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to do more than that and he knew it was folly to stay any longer. Steeling himself, he let her go and turned for the car. Reaching out, he opened the door, but before he dropped inside, he looked back. And that was his fatal error.
One look at her standing there, her hair blowing around her face, her lips barely parted, her eyes full of something smoky, and he was a goner. In two quick steps he erased the space between them, and before she could protest, he was kissing her, hard and hot.
She didn’t push at him the way he thought she would. Instead her arms wrapped around his neck and she pressed her body to his. He kissed her again and this time the kiss deepened.
She drank him in as though he held the secret of life, and for her, in many ways, he did. His mouth moved on hers, his tongue seeking heat and depth, and she accepted him, at first gladly, then hungrily, and finally with nothing but pure sensual greed.
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br /> This was what he’d been waiting for, aching for, dying for. All the doubts about who she might really want in her life dried up and blew away. He had her in his arms and that was where she belonged. He was going to stake a claim now, and if any other man wanted to challenge it, he’d better bring weapons.
Diana gasped, writhing in his embrace and wondering where this passion had come from. It had her in its grip, lighting a fire inside that she’d never known before. Every part of her felt like butter, melting to his touch. She knew this was crazy, this was playing with fire, but she couldn’t stop it now. She wanted more and she wanted it with a fever that consumed her.
Billy barked again, and just like that, the magic evaporated, leaving them both breathing hard and shocked at what they had just been through.
“Oh my,” Diana said, her eyes wide with wonder as she stared at him.
“Wow,” he agreed, holding her face with two hands, looking down into her eyes as though he’d found something precious there.
“You…you’d better go,” she said, stepping back away from him and shaking her head as though that would ward off temptation.
He nodded. “Okay,” he said reluctantly, his voice husky with the remnants of desire still smoldering. He didn’t dare touch her again, but he blew her a kiss, and then he was in his car and gone.
Diana watched him until his taillights disappeared around the far bend. Then she bit her lip and wondered why she seemed to be into torturing herself.
“The more greedy you get,” she told herself, “The more you’re going to miss him when he’s gone.”
But she had to admit, right now, she didn’t really care. Right now she had gathered another memory to live with. And she would surely hold it dear.
The work was going well and the party was only a couple of days away. Janey had thrown herself into picking the musicians and the music, auditioning all sorts of groups as well as the high school kids. Every spare moment was filled with food preparation, mostly of the finger food variety—lumpia, teriyaki chicken wings, pineapple meatballs, tempura shrimp, wontons and everything else they could think of. Rosa set out the ingredients and Diana and Janey began to cut and mix. Rosa manned the ovens. Janey cleaned the trays. And once each batch was cooked, it was filed away in one of the massive freezers the estate maintained.