by Raye Morgan
A few months later, she was back, claiming to be pregnant with his child. He’d felt trapped, threatened, but he wanted to do the right thing. They planned a wedding, but he was in torture the whole time, resenting her, resenting the coming child, and hating himself for feeling that way.
Out of the blue, she died in a car accident. He was even more miserable, sad for her and the baby, tortured with the way he’d acted. He wished he’d been kinder to her.
Then, when the medical reports came in, he found out that the baby wasn’t his after all. The confusion that left him in lasted for months. He couldn’t even think about dating again. He didn’t trust any woman he met. He’d actually begun to wonder if he would ever feel comfortable with a woman again.
Then he’d come home and there was Diana. It didn’t take long to realize he was probably in love with her and always had been. The fact that it was crazy and doomed didn’t bother him. He was used to life not turning out the way he’d hoped it would.
A sound in the doorway made him open his eyes and sit up straighter. There was Diana, walking slowly into the room and finally spotting him as her eyes adjusted to the gloom.
“I thought you’d gone home,” he said.
“I did, but I forgot to put some of the leis we strung together in cool storage. I didn’t want to leave them out overnight.”
He nodded. “Will you join me in a drink?” he offered.
“No, thanks.” But she came close and perched on the arm of the overstuffed leather chair where he was sitting. “I’ve got to get on home. I just stopped in for a minute.”
“I was just sitting here thinking about you. About us.”
She sighed. “Cam, there is no ‘us.’”
“I’ve noticed that, Diana. Tell me why that is.”
She looked down at him, startled by his tone. “There’s a party happening tomorrow that is supposed to result in you choosing a rich bride to save the family,” she said crisply. “That pretty much takes care of any ‘us’ there might have been.”
He shook his head and took a sip of his drink. “I’m not buying it, Di. There’s a wall between us and I’m just beginning to realize you put it there.”
“That’s crazy. I didn’t invent this commitment you have to your family. It’s enshrined in your Van Kirk legacy. It’s like a shield carved into your front door. You gotta do what you gotta do.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. You know very well it’s what called you back here. You are part of something you can’t shake free of. Duty, responsibility, whatever you want to call it. It’s part of you and you’re going to do what they expect.”
He stared at her in the darkness. Was she right? Was he really going to do this thing they wanted of him?
He loved his grandfather with a fierce devotion, but he’d always resented him and his manipulating ways with almost as much passion. The senior Van Kirk had constantly tried to guide his life, but in the past, he’d resisted, sometimes violently. That was what the whole mad dash to shake off the dust of this gold country town in the hills had been all about. So he’d gone off to get out from under his family’s rules and make his fortune. And here he was, coming back into his family’s sphere and acting like that had all been a huge mistake. Was he really ready to follow his grandfather’s wishes this time?
No. The whole idea was insane.
“Diana, I’ve told you a thousand times, I’m not marrying anyone.”
“Really?” She clutched at the hem of her blouse and twisted it nervously. “Well, I think you ought to revisit that statement.”
He frowned up at her. “What are you talking about?”
“You made a promise a long time ago, from what your grandfather tells me. And now that your family needs you to put yourself on the line, I think you ought to fulfill that promise.” She knew she was beginning to sound a little shrill, but she couldn’t help it. Her emotions were very near the surface and she was having a hard time holding them back.
“You need to have a nice little Five Families baby with one of those super rich girls and save the house, save the legacy, save it all. It’s your destiny. It’s what you were raised to do.”
He stared at her, aghast. “You’ve really drunk the Kool-Aid, haven’t you?”
“I’ve listened to your grandfather, if that’s what you mean. And I’ve realized you’re going to hate yourself if you don’t do what you’ve been raised to think is your duty. You can’t fight it.”
He swore softly, shaking his head, disbelief shuddering through him.
“Just like I was raised to be pretty much the opposite,” she went on, her voice sure but a bit shaky. “That’s what my father always used to tell me. ‘You’re just a white trash girl. Don’t get no fancy ideas, running around with a Van Kirk boy. That bunch will never accept you.’ That’s what he used to say. I didn’t believe him then, but now I see the wisdom in accepting the truth.”
“Truth.” He said the word scornfully. “That’s not truth. That’s someone’s fantasy dressed up as faux reality. You’ve fallen down the rabbit hole, Di. Stop listening to the Mad Hatter.”
She almost laughed. “Your grandfather?”
He nodded. “Despite everything, I love that old man.” He shrugged. “And you’re right, up to a point. I made certain promises. I’ve got certain responsibilities.”
Reaching up, he caught hold of her and flipped her down into his lap, catching her by surprise and eliciting a shriek as she landed in his arms. “But one thing I won’t do is marry a woman I don’t love,” he said. “And you can take that to the bank.”
“Cam…” She tried to pull away but he was having none of it.
His body was hard, strong, inescapable and she knew right away she couldn’t stop him. But she didn’t really want to and when his mouth came down on hers, it felt so hot, she gasped. His ardor shocked her, but in a good way, and very quickly her own passion rose to meet it. The pressure of his mouth on hers was pure intoxication. She sank into the kiss like a swimmer in a warm, inviting whirlpool, and very soon she was spinning round and round, trying to get her head above water often enough to catch her breath, but strongly tempted to stay below where his smooth strength made her giddy with desire.
He’d wanted to do this for so long, his need was an urgent throb that pushed him to kiss her harder, deeper, and to take every part of her in his hands. He plunged beneath her clothes, craving the feel of her soft flesh, sliding his hands down the length of her, sailing on the sensation like an eagle on a burst of wind. In this moment, she was his and he had to take her or die trying.
The top buttons of her blouse were open and his hot mouth was on her breast, finding the nipple, his lips tugging, his tongue stroking, teasing senses cued to resonate to his will. She was writhing in his arms, begging for more with tiny whimpers, touching him as eagerly as he was touching her.
“More,” was the only word that penetrated her heat. “More, please, more!”
All thoughts of duty and responsibility were forgotten. Thought itself was banished. Feeling was king, and she felt an arousal so intense it scared her. She was his for the taking, his forever. Right and wrong had nothing to do with it. He was all she’d ever wanted. The rest was up to him.
And he pulled back.
She stared up at him, panting, almost begging to have him back against her, and he looked down at her dispassionately, all discipline and control.
“You see, Diana?” he said. “There is an ‘us,’ whether you want there to be or not. You can’t deny it. And I can’t marry anyone else when I want you more than I’ve ever wanted any other woman.”
He set her back on the wide arm of the chair and rose while she pulled her clothes together.
“I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, and walked away.
Diana sat where she was, shaken to the core and still trembling like a leaf. She was putty in his hands. He could do anything he wanted with her and her body would respond in kind. She was he
lpless. Helplessly in love.
CHAPTER TEN
PARTY time!
The scene was being set for a wonderful party. Cam had recruited some old high school friends to come help him and they had strung lights everywhere throughout the yard. They had reactivated a man-made watercourse that had been built years before to run all through the gardens, and now water babbled happily, recreating the look of a mountain stream. Cam had even found a way to put lights just beneath the surface at random intervals, so the whole thing sparkled as though it was under perpetual sunlight.
Guests began to arrive at midafternoon. The sense of excitement was contagious and the air was filled with the scent of flowers and the sound of music. Diana knew very few of the people who arrived. Some were cousins of Cam’s who had come by to help a time or two in the past few days. But most of the Five Families children went to private schools, so she hadn’t had much occasion to cross paths with many of them, and some of the ones she did know didn’t seem to recognize her.
One lucky result of the theme was that no one had even suggested she wear a French maid’s costume while mixing with the guests as she had feared at the first. The Hawaiian decor meant that she could wear a beautiful long island dress and put flowers in her hair and look just as good as most of the visitors did.
“I can pretend, can’t I?” she muttered to herself as she wove her way in and out of the crowd. Still, she was the one holding the tray with the wineglasses, though, wasn’t she? That pretty much gave the game away.
“Oh my dear, you look wonderful!” Mrs. Van Kirk approved, nodding as she looked her over. “I love the garland of flowers you’ve put in your hair. You look like a fairy princess.”
Mr. Van Kirk, Cam’s father, was home on a rare visit, looking half soused, but pleasant. He nodded agreement with his wife but didn’t say much, except, “Hey, I knew your dad. He was one of my best friends. God, I really miss those days.”
And she didn’t linger to hear his stories.
Everyone praised the wonderful stream and the lights and the music and once the cocktail hour began to blend into dinnertime, the food was center stage. Diana was so busy making sure there was enough and the access was ample that she hardly had time to notice anything else, but she did see Cam once in a while, and every time her wandering gaze found him, he was surrounded by women.
“I’m sure he’s having the time of his life,” Janey said, and for once she sounded amused rather than resentful. She had her latest date, Adam, with her. A rather short man, he seemed to follow her dutifully everywhere she went, looking thoroughly smitten, and she seemed to enjoy it.
While she was filling the punch bowl with a fresh supply of green sherbet punch doused with rum and meant to take the place of daiquiris, Janey came up and elbowed her.
“Look at there, by the waterfall. Those three are the prime candidates.”
She lifted her head to look at the three beautiful young women. “What do you mean?” she asked, though she was very much afraid she already knew.
“We need Cam to pick one of them to marry. They are the richest ones.”
“And the most beautiful, too,” she said, feeling just a bit wistful.
“Well, the one on the right, Julie Ransom, is only semibeautiful,” Janey opined. “But she’s got a wonderful personality.”
“Oh, great. Better and better.”
“What do you care? He’s got to pick one of them.”
“I know.”
“Tina Justice, the redhead, is said to be a bit on the easy side, but nice. And Grace Sinclair, the one in the middle, is the younger sister of Missy, the one Cam was supposed to marry years ago. She’s considered just about the most beautiful woman in the valley. Wouldn’t you agree?”
“Oh, yes,” she said, heart sinking as she looked at the woman who was wearing a turquoise sari and standing out in the crowd. “She’s got that luminous quality.”
“Yes. And I think Cam likes her pretty well. So let’s work on getting the two of them together. Agreed?” Janey gave her an assessing look, as though wondering how she was going to react to that, but Diana didn’t give her the satisfaction of letting on.
“You get busy on that,” she said lightly. “I’ve got some crudités to crunch.”
In some ways it was nice that Janey now considered her a coconspirator rather than an enemy, but this sort of scheming put her in a very awkward position. She didn’t need it. She was going to keep her distance from actual matchmaking no matter what.
Just a few more hours, she told herself, and then you’ll be free. You’ll never have to look at this family again. But whether you can forget them—ah, there’s the rub.
It was only a short time later that she found herself listening to the three prime candidates as they chatted about Cam, ignoring her completely. She was in the kitchen, taking cheese sticks out of the oven, when they came in to wash a spill out of the redheaded girl’s dress at the sink.
“They say his mother is pushing hard to get him to pick a bride tonight,” she was saying.
“Tonight?” Grace repeated, looking out the window to see if she could spot him.
“Yes! Have you danced with him yet?”
“Twice.” Grace sighed, throwing her head back. “He is super dreamy. I just wanted to melt in his arms. If I can get him again, I’m going to find a way to maneuver him out into the trees so we can have a little make-out time. There’s nothing like stirring up the old libido and then doing the old tease for arousing a man’s interest in getting engaged. And if his mother is pushing…”
“I haven’t had a go at him yet,” Julie said with a pout. “You all just back off until I’ve had my turn.”
The redhead frowned thoughtfully. “You know, they also say he’s got a pregnant girlfriend in the valley.”
Grace nodded. “Could you put up with that?”
Julie tossed her head. “I think I could hold my own against a little piece of valley fluff.”
They all laughed and began to adjust their makeup at the kitchen mirror.
Diana looked at them with distaste. She wasn’t sure if they’d seen her or not. Somehow she thought it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. Thinking her a servant, they would likely have looked right through her. Nice girls.
She gathered some fruit on a platter, preparing to go out with it, but just for fun, she stopped by where they were primping.
“Would any of you ladies like some grapes?” she offered, pointing them out. “They’re very sweet. Not a sour one in the bunch.”
All three pairs of eyes stared at her, startled.
“No, thanks,” one murmured, but it was obvious they didn’t know what to make of her. She smiled and carried the tray out into the party area. But her heart was thumping and her adrenaline was up. Nice girls indeed!
The dancing seemed to go on forever. Diana managed to avoid Cam, although she saw him looking for her a time or two. She was not going to dance with him. After tonight, she was going to be a stranger. No sense in prolonging the agony.
Finally the night was drawing to a close. Adam’s DJ son had taken over center stage and was announcing themes for dances. It was a cute gimmick and was keeping a lot of people on the dance floor who probably would have been on their way home by now if not for the encouragement from the DJ.
Diana was tired. She wanted to go home and put her feet up.
“The last dance,” the DJ was saying on the loudspeaker. “And this one is special. Our host, Cameron Van Kirk, will pick out his chosen partner and then we will all drink a toast to the couple. Mr. Van Kirk. Will you please choose your partner?”
It was like a car crash, she couldn’t look away. Which one of the beautiful young women who had come here to look him over and to be looked over would he pick? She peered out between two onlookers and there was Cam. He was searching the scene, scanning the entire assembly, and then he stepped down and began to walk into the crowd.
Suddenly she knew what he was doing. There was no doubt
in her mind. He was looking for her.
Her heart began to bang against her chest like a big bass drum and she couldn’t breathe. How did she know this? What made her so sure? She wasn’t certain about that, but she did know as sure as she knew her own name that he was headed her way.
She turned, looking around frantically. Where could she hide? He couldn’t possibly do this—could he? It would be an insult to all those beautiful, wealthy women for him to pick the pregnant party planner as his special partner. She squeezed her way between a line of people and hurried toward the side exit. And ran right into Cam.
“There you are,” he said, taking her hands before she could stop him. “Come with me. I can’t do this alone.”
“Can’t do what alone?” she said robotically, still looking for a chance to escape. But with all eyes on her, she really couldn’t push his hands away and she found herself walking with him to the middle of the dance floor.
“Please welcome Mr. Cameron Van Kirk,” the DJ said, “and Miss Diana Collins. Give them a hand, ladies and gentlemen.’
The music began and Cam’s arms came around her. She closed her eyes and swayed to the music, a hollow feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“You can’t be surprised,” he said very near her ear. “You know you’re my choice. You always have been.”
She pulled back so she could look into his face. “I know you think you made a great joke out of this, but…”
“Joke? Are you kidding?” He held her closer. “Diana, face it. I love you.”
She closed her eyes again and willed this to be over. She knew he thought he loved her. And maybe he really did. But it was impossible. He couldn’t do this.
The music ended and the applause was polite and the toast was pleasant. But people were somewhat puzzled. You could see it in their faces, hear it in their voices. This wasn’t one of the girls he was supposed to pick.