“Wait—I mean—I was a Strawberry Girl!” I got up from my chair, a little slower than I used to, as I was five months pregnant and starting to get more obvious. “I guess it was propaganda in the sense that all the songs were happy and sentimental. But it cheered people up and it was a lot of fun. We worked hard on those dances! And everyone knows the songs, all over the empire.”
“Well, that is not a matter for the Imperial Council,” the old man said, with a little sniff like he wanted my icky girl stuff off the council.
“That’s a great idea,” Rin said. “It would perk us all up too. I fully endorse this plan to revive the dance troupes immediately. But you should appoint your own people to be in charge of it so you don’t have to deal with this tough crowd.”
“Thank you, O Wise Ruler, Emperor Raio!” I said, smiling at him. “I’ll get right on it and leave you to your important business about foreign bank loans!”
“Thank you…,” Rin said in a dull tone, dropping his chin into his hand. “Have fun.”
“As your priestess, I’ll make it up to you later,” I said, winking.
And then I was free. Freeeeee! Shining stars, I didn’t realize how much I hated all that business. It was a good thing, really, that Niko seemed genuinely good at it and Forrest also seemed to be discovering his policy nerd side. Maybe I’d get better at it later in life or something, but for now, I was determined to not only have the best babies and keep my men oh-so-satisfied, but also to contribute something to this kingdom that I was actually good at. Arts and entertainment. Sure, it was easy to overlook when you still had a rogue group of elder mages holding the northern gate, turbulent economy and stuff like that, but I knew how much people needed something to look forward to.
I mean, propaganda or not, I knew how much music meant to me growing up, and how much I dreamed of being part of one of the state-sanctioned song and dance troupes. I remembered the joy on the faces of the crowds, young and old, when I was touring the country as a Strawberry Girl.
Even though good had won this war, it would be naive to say everyone was living happily ever after in the kingdom. We still had monsters roaming around, a threat of war from the north, and lots of messes to clean up, and people needed to keep their spirits up.
“Gilbert!” I ran into the bedroom of my fellow artiste. Gilbert was sitting at the window overlooking the palace garden, determinedly practicing playing the violin. Since losing his right hand to one of our enemies, he’d gone through some definite periods of depression, but he was starting to practice with real earnest. He had a prosthetic bow for playing his violin and was also now beginning to play a small harp with one hand and a hook. Music was Gilbert’s magic, so even when he made mistakes and didn’t have as many fingers to work with, he could draw a lot of feeling out of the instrument.
He stopped when he saw me. “What is it? Are you having the baby?”
“What? You’ve got to stop asking me that! I’m only five months in! If I was having the baby, I’d be freaking out because that would be very bad news.”
“I’m sorry… I never expected to have a baby. Every time I see you, I panic.”
“Don’t worry. I feel great. I was in one of those boring meetings, and suddenly I remembered the Strawberry Girls. Apparently the dance troupe program was disbanded when Rin became emperor!”
“Wow—I’ve hardly even thought of that this entire time.”
“Me too. We’ve been so busy. But we have to do something about it. Rin said maybe I would be more useful working on that than anything else, and I think he’s right.”
“I’ll help,” Gilbert said earnestly, unfastening the bow from his arm.
“I knew you would. So…” I held up a notebook. “Let’s plan.”
We sat down at the table and spent the next hour discussing whether their costumes should change.
“I mean, do you think it’s okay to keep the same troupes as before?” I asked. “They were started by the not-so-great emperors.”
“But everyone knows them and all their songs,” Gilbert said. “And they are good songs. Of course, we should freshen it up and get people excited again. New music for each troupe—” He started writing some notes and lyrics. “I’ll write all the music. Bah, my handwriting is still so unrefined.”
“I can read it. The costumes definitely need an overhaul…”
We both scribbled in silence for a little while, pausing occasionally to shoo my cat Wretch off the papers.
“The only thing that always was so sad about being in the Strawberry Girls was that once the year is over, that’s it,” I said. “Everyone goes home. Sometimes you can get a job singing in a bar or something…but I just got stuck singing my songs to my tiny little town and I haven’t seen any of those girls again.”
“Of course, we can’t have all of them go on forever,” Gilbert said.
“Yes, but what if we had one super special troupe with all the best girls from before? They could perform all year in Capamere, and help drive tourists to the capital. We’ve never had tourists before, but we should think about it.”
“Yes…I bet foreigners would come see the show,” Gilbert said. “Those diplomats who were here a couple weeks ago seemed disgruntled with the entertainment here.”
“It could be our special troupe,” I said. “What should we call it? Sunflower, Strawberry…what’s the most regal and important fruit or flower or whatever?”
“Roses, of course,” Gilbert said, like he was suddenly an expert on this sort of thing and not a street kid who lied about going to Bardic College. “The Imperial Rose Troupe.”
I clutched his hand—well, actually, his stump, because I was sitting on his right side. But I was starting to just think of it as a hand again, and I tried to touch him a lot so he wouldn’t start to feel self conscious about it. “That’s perfect. Phoebe’s Imperial Rose Troupe…”
Gilbert looked at me sideways. “You just want to be the boss of your own troupe, huh?”
“Well…don’t you?”
“Of course I do!” he said. “Bard Keith will never know what hit him.”
I nodded with seriousness, although whoever Bard Keith was, I was pretty sure he had long since ceased to be especially relevant. Once a rival, always a rival, I guess.
Ten Weeks Later
“Hey! That’s Elena! She was a Strawberry Girl with me! Elena, hi!” I called down from the palace window.
She looked around, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from. “Oh! Hi—I mean—Your Majesty, Priestess?”
“Just Phoebe,” I said, self-conscious. “I’m glad you came!”
Gilbert and I watched with excitement from the tower window as women young and even old came in for the auditions, which we had announced almost immediately. All former troupe members were invited to come to Capamere to apply for the Imperial Rose Troupe. I had carriages sent to all the major cities to offer free rides to all the dance troupe alumnae.
Still, I didn’t know if very many people would accept the offer. I figured many former troupe girls would have settled down, and others might be afraid to travel. Although travel was safer now than it was, since the army had cleared out a lot of the monsters, it would take a while before anyone took to the roads without being armed and ready to fight.
I was surprised, then, to see a steady stream of takers on the morning of the auditions. Gilbert and I came downstairs at noon to officially begin the auditions on the stage of the palace theater. Gilbert looked very dashing; since the fight over the palace and the loss of his hand, he had traded the velvet and ruffles of a bard for a more roguish and purposefully disheveled aesthetic, well cut coats, half-buttoned vests, and boots, that I think offset some of his self-consciousness over his hook. Meanwhile, my plans for a cute new empress wardrobe had been put on hold in favor of a comfortable dress, comfortable slippers, and my very pregnant self. But it wasn’t so bad to relax and let the guys be eye candy.
“A few more…er…seniors than I expected,” Gilbert murm
ured. The older ladies clustered together, a few of them reuniting in tears as they realized they were once in the same troupe.
“I guess they have free time.” I shrugged, then found Elena in the crowd and gave her a hug. By now, I was almost eight months pregnant, so it was an awkward hug, and she looked nervous around me. I basically kind of ignored that, because deep down I missed being a normal girl sometimes.
“It’s so good to see you again!” I said. “How have you been?”
She gaped at me. “Um…nothing like what you’ve been doing.”
I felt a little weird. “Well…I…um…it just sort of happened. But I’m still the same goofy Phoebe.”
She looked skeptical, but nodded. Elena had always been one of the quieter girls in the troupe, with very long dark hair, pretty but in a willowy, breeze-might-whisk-her-off way. “My mom passed away last year so I’ve just been helping my dad with the little ones,” she said. I saw hunger in her eyes for this job.
More women were still coming in.
There must be almost a hundred people here…
Gilbert and I had planned for a troupe of twelve.
There was absolutely nothing I could do about that. I knew the country was full of people who hoped for a better life and in my entire lifetime I wouldn’t be able to help them all. I swallowed. Ruling a kingdom was no joke.
The first round of auditions officially began with a girl from Rungenold. She was about twenty-five, with a ruddy face and such big strong arms that I wondered if she was a blacksmith.
“Hi,” I said. “Can you tell me a little about yourself, what troupe you were in?”
“It’s such an honor to be here, Empress Phoebe.” She flushed. “My name is Ruby. Ruby from Rungenold. I work in my dad’s butcher shop but I used to be a Strawberry Girl like you. I’m sorry, I know I don’t look like much anymore, but if you choose me I promise to work on my figure and stay out of the sun.”
“Um…” I felt awkward now. “That’s okay, Ruby, we’re looking for anyone with talent. This isn’t a beauty contest. Besides, your figure is…fine.” I mean, she looked like she could crush me like a bug. Or…butcher me like livestock? Okay, this image was getting worse and I was considering giving up bacon just thinking about it.
Gilbert shot me a look of faint horror like, Of course this is a beauty contest!
I pinched his thigh under the table.
“Ow—uh—thank you, Ruby! We’d love to hear you sing,” he said grumpily.
Ruby opened her mouth and, oh damn. Gilbert had to eat his grumpiness. Miss Butcher Shop had a gorgeous voice, sweet and clear and loud as a bell, and she sang with more emotion than anyone in my troupe had been capable of. Unfortunately, the dancing…well, she didn’t remember the steps well, and it was clear that she was used to hard labor these days, not graceful movement.
“That was really beautiful,” I said, glowing. “We’re off to a good start.”
She beamed, flushing. “Thank you, Empress.”
I scribbled notes furiously on my papers. Gilbert just wrote “MAYBE”.
Next up was an older woman. She looked kinda sassy like, I imagined her being the local barmaid, and okay, she turned out to be a brothel owner.
Voice too gravelly, I wrote.
“Thank you for coming out, Miss Dobbins,” Gilbert interrupted. “It’s a no today, but good luck in your endeavors.”
“Gilbert! She wasn’t done! I mean, maybe—“ I began.
“It’s a no,” Gilbert repeated firmly. He stood up. “I want to make it clear today, I’m not here to draw out anyone’s agony with false hope. We have twelve slots and there are at least a hundred of you and—more coming in, I see. This is the Imperial Rose Troupe. The best of the damn best, and this is round one. So we’ve got to keep moving, because over one hundred girls multiplied means we could easily be here until midnight.”
I could see that this shifted everyone’s excitement to terror.
“Gilbert, be nice!” I exclaimed. “You’re making everyone nervous. It’s true, there are only twelve slots. It’s just like the first time you ever auditioned, only worse, because everyone here was once good enough to be in a troupe. You already are the best of the best, so we’re looking for the best of the best of the best. I know you are all wonderful already, and we will consider this decision seriously. So, try hard, and go home with your heads held high!”
The faces beamed at me now, and cheered, and as we sat back down, Gilbert said, “All right, benevolent Empress Phoebe. I’ll follow your lead.”
Eight Hours Later
“No,” I said. “No. This is an elite dance troupe, people! If you have not kept up with your dancing as much as your singing, you can show yourselves to the door right now!”
Okay, so…um. Gilbert was right.
We were on audition eighty, the sun had gone down a long time ago, and I was ready to murder everyone.
I mean, the lady auditioning looked like she was literally a hundred years old. She was hunched. Her hair was white. She had a crocheted blanket wrapped around her shoulders.
“No, darling,” Gilbert said gently, before she even opened her mouth. “I’m sorry.”
“But I need the money,” she protested, with quite a lot of vigor for a very old lady. “I was a Sunflower Girl back when they were good!”
The baby was really kicking up a storm. “I need a break,” I said, a little frantically.
“Of course. Everyone—dinner break,” Gilbert said. “Back in an hour.” He took my arm and ushered me out of the room as I clutched my belly, feeling a little embarrassed about my fragility.
“I thought this was going to be fun,” I whimpered. “Making people happy.”
“Me too,” he said. “For some reason, I thought rejecting a hundred people’s dreams would be fun…”
“I feel bad. They’re in the same position I was. I don’t feel very deserving of all this…”
“I can’t say I do either,” he said. “But on the other hand, half those people know perfectly well that they’re not fit to be in a dance troupe anymore. They’re telling you stories of woe in the hopes that you’ll take pity on them. There are a lot of people in rough shape in this country, and it’s the Emperor’s fault, not yours. But once the selection process is over, we’ll have twelve superbly talented and beautiful women given a second chance to shine. We have a good line up. Definitely Ina and Emmy.”
“Minerva,” I said.
He looked skeptical. “She was a little pitchy.”
“But great dance moves! And ridiculous charisma.”
“Maybe Elena.”
“I’m not sure about Elena.” I bit my lip. “I was so excited to see a girl from my troupe, but it only reminds me how far above everyone else I am now, and how…strange it is.”
“That’s no reason,” he said, giving my cheek a gentle caress. “The empress thing was a weird accident. You’re still Phoebe. You know that moment when you realize adults don’t know everything? Well, now you know…the royals aren’t anything special either.”
“So you’re saying no one knows anything, and once Elena realizes that I don’t know anything, we can be friends again?”
“I think that’s what I’m saying.”
“How comforting…”
“Well, soon we’ll be the parents. And for a while, we’ll pretend that we know everything.” His hand dropped to my belly. “Oh, it’s active today.”
“Must be hearing so many old ladies sing.” I grinned. “I can’t wait for it to stop being an ‘it’.”
“Me too. The suspense is killing me. I’m hoping for a little Rin. I bet he was the cutest baby.”
I smacked his hand away playfully. “Not that you’re biased or anything.”
“Should we grab a bite while we can?”
“First I really have to pee!”
Truthfully, I was starting to get a little freaked out, thinking about how close I was to actually having a baby.
I knew I should
be safe; I would heal quickly just because of what I was, besides being attended by the best midwifes and healers in the kingdom. But my child wouldn’t just be mine. He or she would be attended largely by my handmaidens so I would be freed up to do my duties as a priestess. I would be expected to have more. One of my girls might inherit my powers and one of my boys would be the emperor after Rin.
Nothing about my life felt like mine anymore.
Except maybe the Imperial Rose Troupe, I thought. Yeah. That is totally mine. So you know what? I want Ruby and Minerva in the troupe even if Gilbert doesn’t. I don’t want all the most perfect performers. I want the girls who brighten my day and move me when they sing, because they’ll do the same thing to the audience.
I march-waddled out of the toilet, a very pregnant woman on a mission. “You know what? Ruby’s too talented a singer to be working in her dad’s butcher shop! Minerva is too charming to send home! And don’t be a jerk about it.”
He sighed and then smiled at me. “I certainly can’t argue with this,” he said, gesturing across my whole body.
“That’s right.”
It was a long walk from the theater to the kitchen to rustle up some food. We had told the other guys to eat without us because we had both been so excited about the auditions. But Niko caught us in the hall. He was holding a letter in his hand and he looked sort of frantic, which was definitely strange for Niko.
“Hey, are you okay?” I asked.
“I didn’t want to interrupt you, but…I got this letter today from Lord Seron.”
“Lord Seron? The dragon?”
“Do we know any other Lord Seron?”
“Fine, fine, what does it say?”
“They know where my mother is. He—he says her name is Perina, and she’s working as the Traitor King’s prison guard. She raised a rock dragon named Ezeru who escaped and came to Aurekdel for help, it’s…there are lots of details here…but the crux of the story is that the Traitor King had…cut out her tongue. And forced her into loyalty to him, or I suppose…it would have been worse.”
His hand was shaking a little.
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