by Lauren Wood
“It’s not just here Claire, back home as well. We had a moment before and then you kind of got like you are now.”
I put the piece of pizza down and didn’t really know what to say. He wasn’t going to let it go and I didn’t know how to word it any better than it was in my head. “I just don’t think it would be a good idea Rick.”
“Why?”
“Because you are my boss and I would like to keep my job.”
“That won’t affect anything.”
I didn’t believe him and even if I did, there was the real fear that he would break my heart. I wasn’t ready for a man like him and in honesty, I didn’t know if I would ever be ready for a man like Rick. He was just too much and I didn’t fit in his lifestyle.
“I don’t like you in that way Rick. I don’t know what else to say.”
I thought for a moment that he was going to be mad at me, but instead he just kind of looked at me and grinned. It was clear that he didn’t believe me at all. I didn’t believe myself.
“Are you really going to tell me that you don’t like me in that way?”
I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say, but I knew that I didn’t want him to know how badly I wanted him. I started to get up, but he tutted me and pulled me back down, taking the plate out of my hand.
“I think we need to get this out.”
He was the only man I had ever met that was so worried about talking. I didn’t want to talk. I wanted to get out of there before I made a fool of myself and then he would know full stop how much I was into him. Truthfully, I had a feeling that he already knew what he was doing to me.
When his hand moved to the side of my face to pull me towards him, my mind screamed to get away. It was calling out danger because that was all he was. He was dangerous and when his lips touched mine again, I was lost just that quickly.
His tongue pushed through my lips and there was far more insistence in this kiss. My body melted against his and I was feeling like everything was perfect. That was the problem though.
I heard a soft moan in the air and realized it was me. He had won and I pushed back from him before I lost myself for good.
“I knew that you felt something for me.”
“I do Rick, but I know how you are and I don’t want to be a part of it.”
I was feeling restless and I couldn’t stand there with him grinning at me like that anymore. I had to get up and I had to put some distance between us.
“I am going to go for a walk through the park. I will see you at the demonstration later.”
He nodded his head, but didn’t say anything. He was disappointed, but I was too. I was disappointed in myself and my lack of willpower. I should have known better and this trip was turning out to be a bigger mess than I had originally thought.
I looked down at the cleavage one of the men that passed me in the hallway was looking at and I sighed to myself. Being dressed up as my sister was not helping anything at all. I looked too much like her and now I was starting to understand what life must be like for her. I couldn’t imagine men gawking at me all day. After what it had done to Rick, I was convinced that it was the clothes that were doing it. Maybe I had let loose a little too much and I needed to rein it back in.
Chapter 13
Rick
“Are you ready?”
Claire was looking gorgeous and I don’t know what it was that had made her change so drastically, but everything she had worn on the trip was tempting me like no other. Why was she dressed in such a way when she claimed that she didn’t want to be with me?
As she grabbed her bag and started out the door, I grabbed it from her and our hands touched for a minute. She pulled hers back like I had burned her and it was a reminder that this wasn’t how I wanted it to be. I didn’t get why she was so different than any other woman I had ever known.
“Are you still nervous about the flight?” Since Claire wasn’t saying much, I had to keep going with the conversation. We hadn’t talked too much the last day we were here and I was anxious to get back home and figure out where to go from here. I knew that with everything between us, there was no way that I was going to be able to let it go. I didn’t want to and I was just going to have to work her down. She wanted me, the kisses and chemistry was enough of an answer, but I just wanted more.
“No, I think it will be okay. I didn’t sleep much last night, so I am hoping that I will be able to sleep through the flight.”
I liked to think that she was up thinking about me as much as I was thinking about her, but I really couldn’t be sure. I would never admit what she did to me in the wee hours of the morning, but I liked to think that I wasn’t alone. It just didn’t seem right that she didn’t have some kind of issue with it like I did. Why the hell was I the only one that felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin? Didn’t she feel the same way?
I was frustrated to no end and I didn’t even really listen to her answer about sleeping. My mind was too far gone and all I could think about was all of the questions that ran through my mind. Why?
“You haven’t said much today Rick. Are you okay?”
We had just gotten on the plane and I had to say that I was acting a bit strange. I didn’t know how to act and with all I could think about was ravishing her, I had decided that it just seemed easier to not say a word. Everything I said was destined to get switched around, especially because all I was thinking about was the woman sitting next to me that didn’t want to give me the time of day, even though I knew she wanted me. I could tell she needed me and it was a shame that something was holding her back.
“Guess I am just ready to get home. I like to travel and see new places, but at a certain point it is just time to go home.” And the fact that she was there to drive me crazy was a good reason as well. Didn’t she know what she was doing to me, how she was driving me crazy?
“Yes, I feel the same way. As much as I have loved the country and the food, I am ready to get back home as well. I think this is the longest that I have gone without talking to my sister and I know it sounds silly, but I actually miss her terribly. I haven’t even been able to call her from here on my phone.”
I didn’t know she had a sister. If I really thought about it, there wasn’t much that I knew about her beyond the fact that she was beautiful and before things changed, a dirty minded woman. Now she was quiet and I felt like I was missing out. I wanted to know more.
“Do you just have the one sister?”
“No, I have several, but I am closest to one in particular. We have always talked to each other every night as long as I can remember.”
“Sounds like you two are really close.”
“We are. They used to say that if you saw me, you would see Amber. We never went anywhere away from each other.”
“Did she move here with you?”
She shook her head and I could tell that there was something that she didn’t really want to tell me.
“No, she and my parents never really got along, so as soon as she was old enough to leave, she did. She came here, while I went to University.”
“Well I am glad you went to college. You certainly learned your stuff while you were there. I have never seen someone take to everything like you have. You really have a gift Claire.”
“Thanks Rick. Coming from you, that means a lot to me.”
I liked that she was smiling again and she seemed to be a little calmer around me. I didn’t know what the difference was, but I liked to see her like this, as opposed to upset and avoiding me. We had a few good times before everything got complicated. I knew I was to blame for it, but I still didn’t want to apologize for anything. I couldn’t help that I wanted her and even though she had the will to say no, that didn’t mean that I did as well. I wanted her and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.
“So what about you?”
“What about me?”
She giggled that I was so gone from the conversation. I knew that I wasn’t paying much atte
ntion, but it was almost impossible to do so when I could smell the lilac of her perfume. It was different and much like everything else that she wore the last couple of days, it was pulling my attention away from anything that wasn’t her.
“You know, do you have any brothers or sisters?”
I shook my head that I didn’t. “No, I am an only child.”
“Well that explains a lot.”
“What do you mean?”
“You seem like a guy that is really used to getting what he wants. It would make sense that you didn’t have any siblings to share with. Most only children are that way.”
I don’t know if I liked her observation or the fact that she was right. I had been lonely when I was a child, but at the same time, I had gotten anything that I wanted because there was no competition with anyone else. I had gotten used to getting my way, but with her I wasn’t getting my way at all. Was that why I was becoming so obsessed with Claire? Was it simply because I was so used to always getting my way and now that wasn’t the case?
I wasn’t sure, but it was an idea to really think about. How could this woman know so much about me and I knew so little about her? She was very observant, something that shouldn’t come as a surprise by the way she works.
“Well I don’t like to look at it like that, but you could be right. I don’t like it when I don’t get my way.”
I was thinking of her when I said that and I wondered if she knew that she was the one thing that was denied me. If I was real with myself, I would see how hard it had been to deal with that fact. The one person I wanted, I can’t have and that drove me crazy. It wasn’t right and I was still thinking of ways to rectify the situation.
“You can’t have everything that you want Rick. What would be the fun in that?”
I begged to differ, but I wasn’t going to argue with her. I was just happy that we were talking again and she wasn’t ignoring everything that was said between us. At least we were talking again. I was convinced that this was a good sign and I wasn’t going to see it any other way but like that. I just couldn’t. I was still trying to be optimistic and I still didn’t believe that she would be able to deny me very much longer.
“It doesn’t mean that I can’t try. I usually get what I want Claire. I usually get who I want as well, so I don’t know how to take no for an answer because in the end I always get what it is that I wanted.”
Now she realized that I was talking about her and I could see her face getting red. I really liked to see her like that and I loved the way she smiled at me and then looked away when my eyes were too tense.
“Well I stand by what I said. No one gets everything that they want, no matter how much money they have or how much charm they have. Some people are just meant to be together and some just aren’t.”
It was not hard to read through the lines with that. She was telling me to get over it because it just wasn’t going to happen. I should have learned then that I couldn’t have her, but it just made me want her more. I also thought it was adorable how nice she was trying to be about it all. She was turning me down for the umpteenth time, but at least she was doing it the sweetest way possible.
“Never say never Claire. I think with enough time, I will get everything that I want and desire.”
The woman had no idea how stubborn and persistent I could be.
***
When we got back to work, it was easy for us to lose each other in all of the other people running around. I would have liked for us to have become closer while we were in Europe and in a way we had, but in some ways, we were further apart than ever before.
I saw her only briefly in the hallways and a couple of times for meetings. The rest of the time, Claire stayed away from me like the plague and it was driving me rather crazy. Why was she denying me what I needed so much? It was becoming ridiculous and worse than that, there was nothing else that would do.
First when I got back into town, I called up one of the many women I was seeing from time to time to see if she wanted to meet up. It should have been good since I hadn’t had any physical contact for days, but it turned out to be a disappointment. It wasn’t Ashlea that made it a disappointment, it was me and what I really wanted being someone else. It appeared as if no one else was going to do, no matter how hard I tried. It came down to I was meant to be with Claire or at least to get a taste of her so I wouldn’t think about her all of the time.
So I did what any man would do, I manipulated the situation to get her next to me. I knew that she was going to see right through me if I didn’t have a good enough reason and I didn’t ask her in the right way.
In the meeting we had at the end of the week, I was giving out assignments and I made sure that she had the best one. It was a huge client and a big job. It wasn’t enough for one person and I made it like she was going to be helping me, instead of me using it as a way to get some time alone with her.
At the end of the meeting, Claire came to me with her concerns. She had several open clients at the time, something that I had forgotten about and I asked her if I could help her with what she already had on her plate. As I had suspected, she was quick to say that she was fine.
“Good then Claire. I am glad that you are available to help. I know that it has been kind of tense between us. I think working together this weekend will help us out to getting back to a better working relationship.”
“Weekend?”
She didn’t look happy about that at all, but I wasn’t going to give. This was literally the only way that I was going to get her alone and get her where I wanted her, so I was going to have to use methods that I wouldn’t normally use. Now it was a matter of getting Claire alone. I knew that all I had to do was get my hands on her again and she would be mine. I was sure of it now.
“Okay Rick. I will see you tomorrow.”
“I will call you in the morning before I pick you up. Around eight?”
She agreed, but it was obvious that she didn’t want to do anything with me on the weekend. I tried to ignore it, but that was hard to do. I still didn’t understand what it was about her that made her so different, but I was going to have my way.
Chapter 14
Claire
“I haven’t had much time to prepare for this. Is there anything that you think I should be focusing on?”
It was Saturday morning and instead of being home in bed, I was at the office in the conference room with Rick. I needed more sleep and I was a little cranky. I just wanted to get this done. I had a lot to do this weekend and none of it involved new clients.
“Look at the depreciation and inventory data. I think that is where the leak is.”
Rick reached over and I felt him leaning over me ever so slowly. His body was too close, too soon and I held my breath as he pointed out a few numbers on the logbook in front of me. I tried to pay attention but I couldn’t. His breath was warm on my neck and I was suddenly wide awake.
“Okay.”
He stayed hunched over me for a little longer than I thought was possible, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t need to because he was gone and I felt a slight lack once he did.
“Do you want me to get you some coffee?”
I shook my head, though I wasn’t even thinking about that. I was watching him leave and enjoying the view. I vowed to stay away from him and to make sure that we weren’t in a situation like this, but like always, Rick was making sure that he got his way. It wasn’t hard to see through the ploy. It was most of the reason I was annoyed, like I wouldn’t even know what he was doing.
When he got back, his dark eyes watched me and I didn’t look up. I was determined to get out of this and I really hoped it was unscathed. The way he looked at me, it was hard not to react. I stayed away because if I didn’t, the curiosity that he made me feel would just get worse. It was already enough to take my mind from most things, most of the time.
Rick moved to the chair and sat next to me for a time. The silence was deafening in the moment and I
couldn’t help but wish that I was away from the office and Rick. Being alone with him was as dangerous as the man himself.
“You are really quiet.”
“Just trying to figure out what the problem is. Want to make sure it is all done today.”
“We might have to come go back tomorrow. There is a lot to over.”
It sounded like he wanted it to take a while and I can’t say that I liked the idea of that at all. There was something about the cockiness that he had all of a sudden. The man really didn’t know how to take no for an answer and I don’t think today was the day that he was going to change.
“Let’s hope not Rick. I am sure you have a lot of things that you would rather be doing than being stuck at the office with me on the weekends.” I was hopeful anyways. I know that there were other places I would rather be than right here right now. Literally anywhere else than here with him so close to me my insides were shaking would have been preferable.
I would never say that out loud though.
“I don’t actually. There is nothing that I can think of that I would rather do than be here with you. I haven’t seen you around that much lately, so I am taking the opportunity as it comes.”
“Just been busy with work and all. A lot to do. I am not avoiding you, just got a lot on my shoulders right now.” I looked up and made a gesture that I don’t think he was getting. I was feeling that way right now. He had dumped two reviews on me and that was a lot to do with my current workload, as well as the timeframe.
“Well I think I will have to talk to your boss then and get you some time off.”
I kind of shrugged and told him that I was fine. I didn’t want him to think that I was complaining. I needed the work and I needed him to get that. I was paid on a commission type sliding scale now. I was not going to say that I didn’t really like the compensation I was getting.
“Don’t worry about it. I like to work. It keeps me busy and out of trouble.”