by Lauren Wood
“I can’t wait until it is your turn Amber.”
She snorted at me in the most unladylike way and I shook my head. She tried but that was about all I could say about her at the moment.
“I don’t think that is going to happen anytime soon sis. I just don’t think that it is in my cards. Could you imagine me as a mom?”
I smiled at her and told her that she would be a great one. While Amber was the wild one out of the two of us, I know that something was going to change that all around for her one day. A lot of people changed when they had kids or found the person they love. Love made us do things that we never thought was possible and I had faith that she was going to find her own reason soon enough. I hoped for her anyways. Anything to get her out of her current employment and back into something that is good for her. I just want what is best for Amber and I know that one day I was going to love being her maid of honor, as she was for me.
“Why are you getting all misty-eyed Claire? You know that shit is contagious.”
I wiped my eyes and apologized as even more wetness started to fall down. It was hard to not think about the fact that everything was about to change in a big way. This was the moment that I had been waiting for, the man I had been waiting for, so why was I so upset?
“I don’t know Amber. This is just too much. What if I am making a mistake? What if I am not going to be a good wife?”
Amber seemed to know what I was most worried about. It was the physical parts of it that I looked forward to the most, although it was also the cause of most of my anxiety that I was feeling. I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t going to make a huge mistake and I didn’t know how to broach such a subject, not even with my sister.
She had always been so bravado about sex and the like, but I found it all a mystery. I knew that I was too old for that to be the case, but it was the case. I didn’t know what actually happened, even though I did have a clue from going through life through the years. I would think that it was rather impossible to not know anything. But knowing what to do in theory seemed a whole lot different than knowing that you were about to do it.
“Are you talking about sex? Are you really that worried about it?”
I knew that she would know what I was nervous about. She knew me better than almost anyone else did and I was so thankful that she was there for me. I don’t know what I would do without Amber here with me. She was my rock when everything else was a complicated mess.
“Yes I am worried about it.”
Amber waved me off and told me that sex should be the last thing on my mind. “You are about to get married to the man you love. You have already slept in bed with him.”
“Yeah, but that is a lot different than having sex with someone.”
“It is, but I am sure that it is all going to be okay. Rick is a good guy and he loves you. That is really all you need and I know that he is going to be good to you. You have picked a good one sis.”
“What about him going to the club?”
“So what? He was single then and now he isn’t.”
“But I am nothing like that, nothing like you. I couldn’t do what you do Amber. There is no way.”
“You don’t have to be like me Claire. You just have to not be so afraid. Trust me when I say that Rick is going to take care of it for you. He will know what to do.”
I knew that she was telling the truth. He knew enough of that I was sure. I knew that what would happen between us would be perfect, but I was afraid that I would mess it up. He wasn’t going to want me afraid and no one really wanted to talk about it like I did. I wanted details, real actions that I can take to do it right.
“But what am I supposed to do, just lay there?”
Amber smiled at me and shook her head as if I was being silly. Maybe I was, but I didn’t think that just lying there like a bump on a log was going to be good for Rick.
“The first couple of times, all you will have to do is feel Claire. Do you trust Rick?”
I nodded my head that I did and she just smiled back at me. “Then that is all that matters. He will take care of it.”
She was not making me feel any better, even though I knew that it was why she had said it. She was trying to calm my fears, but still I was getting nothing in the way of a real answer.
“Amber, just tell me what to do. I have never done this before, you know that. I don’t want to be a disappointment.”
She touched my cheek and told me that it was going to be fine. “You are about to marry the man of almost every girl’s dreams. That is just going to have to be enough. It will all work out. You will see.”
Amy walked in and I smiled at her. Now everyone was here and I was starting to settle down inside a little more. Amy helped get the last few things that I needed for the tradition. She had to find me something, old, borrowed and blue that came from her great grandmother’s ring. It was the perfect addition and I started to get wet-eyed again when I looked at them both.
Amber was getting irritated with me. “Now why are you getting upset? I told you that it is all going to work out.”
“I know, it’s just. I never thought I was ever going to be this happy. I don’t deserve this.”
Amy consoled me while my sister told me that I was being stupid. She was the tough love that I needed, even though it was at times, hard to hear. She was right though. I had no reason to be upset. A wonderful man that was what every woman waited for, wanted to marry me and here I was simpering like a fool.
I straightened up and I heard the music starting in the other room. It was time to get this done and even though I was shaking inside and my eyes were rimmed with red, I still felt like I was the luckiest girl on the planet. When I started to walk down the aisle, my stomach churned, but seeing Rick waiting for me on the other end was just what I needed. It was easier to walk to him then to walk into the unknown. I wasn’t sure how it was all going to work out, but I knew for sure that I was with the right man. Rick was the man that I had waited for all of this time and he looked at me like I was the only one in the world.
The preacher started to say his words and I was left smiling like there was nothing better. I said yes when I was supposed to, not even going with the tradition of ‘I do.’
The kiss was not at all what was appropriate at that time, in front of family and friends, but that was okay. It was passionate and before long I was melted into his arms and I never wanted to let go. When he pulled away, I was left trembling from his touch. Now all I could think about was the honeymoon night and what it was going to entail. All I had to do was get through the reception that I was now hoping was going to be a quick affair. How was I supposed to function when I felt like every part of me was going to come unraveled?
“Are you ready to go to the reception wife?”
I really liked the way that it sounded and I wished more than anything that he would understand how much I needed him. How much I was unable to think of anything else. I was now his wife and Rick was now my husband. It all seemed so surreal and I was waiting to wake up from this dream.
Instead of waiting to wake up, I took his offered arm and followed him down the aisle. There were many people there to wish us well and I couldn’t even see an individual face in the sea of faces. It was just too much and I pulled into Rick. He seemed to know what I needed because he pulled me closer to his chest and kissed the top of my head.
“It’s going to be okay Claire. Now that we are married and together, everything is going to be okay.”
I wanted to believe him, I really did, but I was still so unsure of everything. What if I had made the worst mistake of my life? What if I was wrong about everything?
Chapter 19
Rick
I had waited for what seemed like forever for Claire. The wedding was there and gone before I knew it, but the reception was taking forever. I wanted to end it, but there were still so many people there that I didn’t want to seem rude. I wanted to leave it all to the rest of them, but that didn�
��t seem to be an option. My only option was to grin and bear it as long as I could. There was a real fear that I was going to drag her over my shoulder and go cave man to get her out of here.
“You look so serious.”
“I want us to be together.’
“We are together Rick.”
My eyes darkened and she looked away. I could see the soft blush going over her cheeks and I loved the way it looked. She was so innocent and it drove me absolutely mad to see her this way. The knowledge that I was going to be her first was almost more than I could take. It just made me want her more. More than I had ever wanted anyone in my life and if she kept looking at me like that, I sincerely didn’t know what it was that I was going to do.
“I want to be together in all ways Claire. I have wanted you underneath me in bed for a longtime.”
She shivered and I pulled her closer. They were about to play our song for the first dance and I had a feeling that I was going to have to hold her up. Her legs were turning to jelly in front of me and it was everything that I could do to help her.
“Are you ready for this dance?”
Claire just kind of smiled up at me and shook her head that she wasn’t. It was clear to everyone watching that Claire was having a moment and I almost felt compelled to lift her up into my arms. I wanted to protect her, even from myself and the naughty thoughts that went through my mind. Could I even trust myself?
“Yes, I am ready for everything Rick. I just wish this was over and we were away from everyone. It is time for us to be alone.”
I couldn’t have agreed more and the dance took about as long as everything else felt like lately. I knew that I was going to have to speed it along or I was not going to be any good for anyone. When the music stopped and everyone started to join us on the makeshift dance floor, I was ready for us to get away. No longer was I even trying to pretend that I was going to be able to stay any longer. Claire had said herself that she wanted to get out of here. Who was I to change that when I wanted the exact same thing?
Grabbing her hand, I pulled her out of the reception and for right or wrong, I didn’t say a word to anyone else in there. I figured that they would get the hint after they realized that we were gone for a while. That was what I was banking on anyways.
***
The ride to the house was one that dragged on like everything else since I had asked her to marry me and she had said yes. As soon as she had said yes and our lips had met, there was nothing else that I could think about then having her in my bed. I wanted it so badly that when we were talking about a honeymoon and what we were going to do on our first night as husband and wife, I had insisted that we stay in my house. I wanted our first time to be a memory that lingered in that room for the rest of our lives. It seemed cheap in a way to go to some hotel where we would never be again. I wanted it to all be in our new home together where I could think back to the exact moments. I hadn’t really even put my hands on Claire yet and I knew that I was going to want to savor every moment. She was a rare find indeed and I felt lucky to be alive and to be the one able to call her my own.
Claire didn’t say much as we made our way back to my house. She kept glancing over at me from time to time, but she never really said much of anything or looked very long. I would see her out of the corner of my eye for a few minutes and then she would turn away before our eyes met. What was going through her mind, I had to wonder. While I was nervous because I knew what was next and I questioned how I would be able to control my need, she didn’t really have anything to compare it to. Being her first was an honor in all manner of speaking, but it was also a huge responsibility that I never properly respected until this moment. Because now it was time.
The car stopped and I looked over at my new bride. She was everything that I ever wanted, more than I thought I would ever need.
“We are home Claire.”
She smiled over at me finally and the look took my breath away. How trusting she was and I wished then that I was going to be worth it for her. I hoped more than anything that I was worth the wait.
Claire stepped out before I could get around to opening it for her. She wasn’t walking quite straight and I decided that helping her gave me a good excuse to get closer and pull her in towards me. She was trembling against me and I didn’t like the feel. It wasn’t the cool air because her body was emanating heat like a furnace. Was she shaking because of me?
I brought her inside and offered her a drink before we went back into my bedroom. She seemed to need a little liquid courage and I needed something to take the edge off. I wanted her too much and my own hands were shaking for a whole other reason. It wasn’t like me to be this way, but ever since I’d met Claire, everything had changed. I was just going to have to get used to them. There were worse feelings than being this attracted to your wife.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do Claire. I have waited this long and I can wait longer if you aren’t ready yet.” It killed me to say it and I wanted her to tell me that it wasn’t that way, but I didn’t want our first time to be anything but perfect for both of us.
Claire smiled at me and downed the rest of her drink. It was straight whiskey and by the look on her face she wasn’t used to such strong things, but the need for it outweighed the horrible taste. I had felt that way many of times and I didn’t want sex with me to be that sort of occasion. It just wasn’t right.
“I want to be with you.”
That was all I needed to hear and before a but was added to the sentence, I kissed her hard on the mouth. She tasted as good as she looked and the smell of lilacs took over my senses from her perfume. The woman was downright intoxicating and I finally just picked her up into my arms and carried her into the bedroom. There was no turning back for either one of us.
Laying her down on the bed, I covered her body with my own, pleasing her with gentle kisses, getting her ready for what was to come. I wanted to relax her and I knew that making her feel good would get it done.
Rubbing the side of her and then her breasts, her body started to lift up into my hands and I started to cup her. My fingers found the tips of her nipples and I twisted them a little bit until I heard a soft moan in my mouth. I asked her if that felt good and she whimpered that it did as she shook her head up and down. It was like she couldn’t answer such a simple question and finally I knew that she was ready for more.
My mouth went to her neck and shoulders, sucking and nipping as I moved down her. I wanted her more than anything and when I pushed her legs open and wedged myself between them, I knew there was no going back. I was raging hard and dying to bury myself inside of her. I needed this as much as she did, even if she didn’t know it yet.
Moving off of her, I started to pull my pants and shirt off. I wanted to feel my skin against her skin and I didn’t think leaving her naked for too long was going to help. I wasn’t going to want to think of it later, but I would have slowed down if I would have realized how she was going to see me in this state and what that would do to her.
Standing naked in front of her, Claire was sitting on the edge of the bed and she gasped at the size of me. I had never seen it as anything extraordinary, but she was looking at it as if it was the Lochness monster itself. I was afraid her fear of my manhood would push her back, but instead she went to her knees is front of me and moved to stuff it into her mouth.
I pulled back like her mouth was full of glass and she looked up at me confused. “What’s wrong? Don’t you want this?”
“Claire, what are you doing?”
“Something that Amy told me to do. She said it would help you with encouragement.”
“Trust me when I tell you that I don’t need any encouragement Claire. I feel like I am going to explode at any moment and if you do that to me I will.”
She looked at me and then at my cock like it was literally going to explode and she made it up to her feet in record time. I wanted to laugh at the moment, but I knew that it wouldn’t be app
reciated, maybe another time when we weren’t in the moment. Instead I started to pull her black, skintight dress over her head to reveal what she had on underneath. There was only a bit of white lace covering the rest of her body and my eyes took in every curve. She was just as beautiful as her sister and I knew then that it was going to be harder than I thought it would be to hold myself together. Control was going to be my biggest problem now.
“God you are beautiful Claire. I knew you were going to be perfect.”
Claire couldn’t even really look at me. Her eyes kept darting around and only when I stopped her head from moving and kissed her to ground her, did she seem to respond. It was like she was realizing that this was about to happen and I can’t say that I liked the way she looked. This was not at all as I had planned it. My heart slammed in my chest and I just wanted everything to be right. She closed her eyes tightly and it looked like she was bracing herself. I didn’t want her to brace herself for me.
“Claire?”
“Huh?”
“What are you doing?”
“Waiting.”
“Open your eyes love. I want to watch your face.”
Her eyes fluttered open and I leaned down to kiss her lips and then move slowly down her body. I was going to have to become the king of distractions.
Chapter 20
Claire
His hot mouth moved down my body quickly and I was left trembling from his attention. He felt good, almost too good and I felt like a clock being wound up. The closer he got to my ether regions, the tighter I was wound up. I knew that was the final destination, but knowing so could not take away the feelings that it gave me inside. I wanted his mouth on me, but at the same time I had to wonder if I was going to be able to handle it if it moved that way.
I jerked with the first lick on my core, burning my flesh where it pushed between my lower lips and delved below. My hands went to his shoulders and then to the thick hair on his head, pushing him down and away, all at the same time. I didn’t know what I wanted, but I knew that I wanted him.