by Lauren Wood
“What is the matter Keenan?”
I could tell by her voice that she wasn’t sleepy anymore. She was now more aware of what was going on because I could feel her pulling away from me.
“Sorry I didn’t realize that I was on you like that. You should have just pushed me off of you. I guess I was just cold.”
“No, it’s fine, really.”
Now I wished her body was back. I could feel the cold now, missing her skin against mine. I moved the blanket down like I was hot, but really I wanted to cool her off again so she could move towards me. I never realized how much I liked the soft feel of her body against mine. I never stayed the night with a woman, leaving before going to sleep. I never stayed the night, but now I wondered if all women would feel as right in my arms as she did.
“That is so embarrassing Keenan. Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry Gemma. What are husbands for?” I could think of many more things I could do besides keeping her warm.
“Well in that case, do you mind if we cuddle a little bit? It is freezing and you are like a little heater.”
I groaned inwardly as my head shook that it was fine. Her small body fit against mine so well and she nestled under my arm. Her breathing was back to normal and she turned into me, her hands and head on my chest. She felt perfect to me and I couldn’t help but get aroused.
The night felt like it was never going to end and all I could do was listen to the bands still playing. The feel of her in my arms and the sound in my ears, it wasn’t so bad, if only I could really make her my wife the music would have been a whole lot sweeter.
Chapter 11
Gemma
“Good morning. You are up early.”
“This is late for me. What time were you planning on leaving today?”
I wasn’t and I told him so and he sort of looked at me as if I was crazy again.
“What do you mean?”
“I was planning to stay the day at least, maybe until the end tomorrow. I can understand if you are not up for it.”
“It’s not that. I have to go to work. Don’t you work?”
That was a question I didn’t see coming and I certainly wasn’t going to answer that with my usual answer.
“Not really. I do art, but that isn’t really a job.”
Keenan didn’t seem to understand. He looked out of sorts and I was going to figure that it was because of the rough sleeping. The tent and makeshift bed wasn’t that bad, I’d certainly slept on worse, but I could see how for someone like him, it may be more than he can handle.
“So what do you do all day?”
I shrugged and wasn’t sure wat to say. “I don’t know. I go out with friends, do art, travel, I love the beach. I don’t know really, just what sounds good for the day. I like to let the day take me wherever I am supposed to go.”
“So you don’t go to school or work?”
Was he not listening or had the language changed outside of English and I didn’t know it?
“Well I have a Bachelor degree already. I don’t really know what I want to do and since I am not ready to become an accountant for a living, I am just winging it right now. I graduated last spring, so I figure a little time off was due. I didn’t take any time off before so I finished in 3 years. Now I am tired and I want to do what I want to do.”
This wasn’t the first time that I had been asked basically the same question. Keenan was acting shocked and the amount of surprise in his tone irked me in a way, but I was getting defensive as well. I was the type that didn’t care what people thought of me, so why was I so worried about what my husband thought? It wasn’t like he was really my husband anyways.
“I envy you Gemma.”
“Why? You are super rich. It’s not like you haven’t made enough yet. Why do you work?”
Now it was his turn on the hot seat and I could tell that he had thought about my question even less than I had thought of his.
“What do you mean? I have to work. That is what I am supposed to do.”
“Yeah, but why? I mean, it’s not like you don’t have enough for the rest of your life. You will never spend what you have, so why would you keep going to work every day when you don’t have to? It’s Saturday for goodness sakes Keenan. It can’t be that important.”
“You know, I suppose I have never really thought about it. It was always just something that I did. I don’t think I would know what to do with myself if I did like you and just winged it.”
I giggled at the sheer confusion on his face. I can’t believe that he had never considered that he had billions and needed no more. I guess if he was going to marry me for my father’s good influence, he was still not ready to imagine that enough would be enough. I don’t think that enough was ever going to be enough for him, and I think that thought process extended beyond finances. It was moments like this that I realized the vast chasm of difference between us. Here I was thinking that this could possibly work and now the realization that it never will. That was a hard one to come to grips with and I felt the smile fading from my face.
“Some people find it easier to have a plan. I have just never been one of those people I guess.”
“You seem like a free spirit.”
Another generic word that I was sure he had picked up from somewhere in his reading. I had been called that a lot, but it was people that actually knew me and knew what I was about. Keenan was still a stranger to me.
“Yeah I have heard that before. You can just take the car if you want.”
“No, I couldn’t leave you here stranded.”
I looked around the tent and told him that I wouldn’t be stranded. “There are thousands of people here Keenan, I won’t be stranded anywhere. I will just get a ride home. It really isn’t a big deal. I know you have a busy day scheduled. Do you always work on weekends?”
Keenan nodded, but didn’t say anything more. “I will just have Jimmy pick me up. I am sure this field will be fine to land on. I called him a few minutes ago. I just wanted to tell you goodbye before I left.”
My face fell and I don’t know why I was so bummed out about that. It wasn’t like I should care, but I did. We had a good time last night when he finally loosened up a bit and I remember distinctly, the way I felt sleeping next to his warm body. I slept so well and even waking up without him had the bad feeling a whole lot colder. Now he was leaving me again, but I would never say out loud that I didn’t want him to go. I had my pride after all.
“Well thanks for letting me know Keenan.” I was already turning away and deciding if I wanted to get back in bed. It wasn’t the same now that he wasn’t in it beside me.
“I had a really good time Gemma. Thank you for inviting me.”
“I will be here till Sunday if you want to come back. You know where I will be.”
“Tent 2237.”
“Exactly.”
I laughed a little, but I didn’t feel like laughing. I felt like crying because he was leaving and I felt like an idiot for even feeling this way about him going. I knew how he felt about me, so why was I acting like this was more than it actually was? I should have known better. He was my husband because of business. That was all this was and my mind had to stop making it more.
***
The festival was great and I felt a little freer without Keenan there to judge me. But it wasn’t the same without him and I sort of wished that his stiff self was there. He was not as open about, well anything, but he was fun to be around and now that he was gone, I could really feel his lack of presence even more.
It was starting to get dark and though I’d had a good day, I was ready to get to bed and end it. The trip back would be long by myself and I just wanted to stop missing Keenan. It was really getting on my nerves. I wasn’t supposed to miss him. He certainly didn’t miss me.
“Thanks for walking me back Travis.”
“No problem Gemma. Do you want to go inside and partake in some of this green that I just got? It’s fire.”
I did, but Travis was giving me a look that I knew well and I wasn’t into him in that way. Truth be told, I wasn’t into him in anyway and even though I was sure it had something to do with Keenan, I wasn’t going to admit that to myself. I knew that he was going to see other people, so I should as well. I just didn’t have the desire. That was the difference between me and him.
“No, I think I am good Travis. I am tired and I am just going to head to bed.”
He moved closer and his dark blue eyes danced on mine. I knew what he had in mind, but I wasn’t feeling it and moved back to let him know that I wasn’t interested. The side of the tent stopped me from going any further back away from him and when he kept advancing, I put my hand up to his chest to ward him off.
“Not tonight Travis.”
“Why not Gemma? I know you aren’t a prude.”
That sounded a lot like a nice way to call me a slut and I took offense. He didn’t know anything about me or he would know how far from the truth that was.
“Not tonight or any other night.”
Moving to go into the tent, not willing to talk to him anymore, I felt his hand on my arm and I whipped around to say something. But the words died on my lips when I saw Keenan come out of nowhere to hit Travis. He said something about never putting his hands on his wife.
Travis was on the ground, bleeding from the side of his lip, giving me a dirt look. “I didn’t know she was married. She doesn’t have a ring. Sorry man.”
The curly-haired man got up and I watched his lanky frame move away.
“You didn’t have to be such a jerk. What are you doing here anyways?”
“I was invited, remember? I didn’t realize that I would be replaced so quickly by someone else if I didn’t make it.”
I moved into the tent after shooting him a deathly glare. This was not cute and while I was thankful that he had taken care of Travis since the man didn’t seem to get a hint, that didn’t mean that I was going to let him think he could dictate what I did because of it.
“I don’t ask where you are, it’s none of your business where I am or who I am with. This isn’t a real marriage.”
“Why aren’t you wearing your ring?”
“It kept getting caught on everything. While I am sure it is expensive, it is hard to wear. The diamond is just too big. It’s not very practical.”
“So where is it?”
“In a safe deposit box. I figured I would lose it if not and I would hate to lose something so valuable.”
“Thank you. It was my great grandmother’s.”
“You can have it back if you want.”
“I want you to wear your ring so men like that one don’t come onto you everywhere you go.”
I just shook my head and tried not to laugh. He was being ridiculous and this little spat of jealousy didn’t look so good on him.
“Get me something simple, like just a band and I will wear it.”
Keenan shook his head, his dark hair falling down his collar. “I didn’t think there was a woman alive that would tell me that her diamond was too big and she just wanted a simple band.”
“Maybe you have just been talking to the wrong women.”
“Maybe Gemma. Are you going to tell me who that guy was or what?”
I groaned inwardly and started to seriously wonder if he could actually hear me. “He was just a friend. Or I thought he was a friend, but he got a little too demanding for me all of a sudden.”
He looked at my clothes, his fingers touching the silk of the wrap I was wearing. “This is why. You can practically see through it. You shouldn’t dress like this Gemma. It will give guys like him ideas.”
I had heard enough and I told him so. He was trying to run my life and we hadn’t even been married a week.
“I like this, so I am going to wear it.”
Keenan blew out a breath and sat on the edge of the bed. “I would rather you didn’t. I don’t want men gawking at my wife.”
“Again Keenan. I am not your real wife and this isn’t a real marriage.”
“That is harsh Gemma.”
“Yeah and it’s true. I don’t ask you what you are doing or where you were and you don’t ask me. Okay?”
“No, that’s not okay Gemma.”
Chapter 12
Keenan
This woman had the worst ideas that I could think of and to her they sounded fine. To anyone else that was in my position would have thought that she had the right idea. I should have been happy that she was being so logical about it all. This was a marriage for Ronald’s influence after all. Influence which was already helping me immensely in my goal of becoming more like him.
But now I wanted more from her. I don’t know when I knew for sure, but I know now. I wanted her in all ways, not just the ideas that she was laying out so pragmatically.
“What do you mean that is not okay? It is going to have to be okay Keenan, because that is the way it is.”
“I will not tolerate infidelity in my marriage.”
She laughed at me and it wasn’t because I was trying to be funny. “Where were you Friday?”
“What?”
“Exactly. I know what you were doing. You aren’t the only one who knows people. We are in the same circles, remember?”
I was speechless and I was actually surprised that she wasn’t more upset. I would have been if I would had seen or heard of her with anyone else. Why was she being so calm about it all?
“Like I said Keenan, I am going to live my life and you can live yours. So keep it to just rumors and secrets. I don’t want to see pictures of you and someone else in a magazine. I won’t stand for that.”
She was so serious and it was all slipping away before my very eyes. What was I supposed to say to that? How was I supposed to respond to such a thing?
“I am not going to go outside of our marriage.”
“Again?”
I gritted my teeth. “I will not go out of our marriage again Gemma. We are married, for real, whatever the circumstances were in the beginning. We are attracted to each other. Why shouldn’t we make a real go of it and see what happens?”
“I can think of many reasons why we shouldn’t.”
“So you don’t like me?”
She cocked her head to one side and I was sure she was trying to figure that one out for herself. It wasn’t that hard of a question and I was going to answer it for her if she couldn’t.
“I don’t feel anything romantically for you at all Keenan. That is just facts and there is no need to talk on this further. You wanted a business relationship, not a wife.”
I don’t know what got into me, but between her blatant lie and the memories of Travis’ hands on her, I didn’t want to let her go on thinking that for another moment, if that was in fact what she thought she felt. Gemma was going to be mine and the quicker she came to grips with that, the better off we would all be. It was as if I knew her better than she knew herself. Or she just refused to see it.
So I pulled her down to the bed with me and pressed my lips against hers. She didn’t kiss me back for a time, but I wasn’t going to let that bother me. Her soft curves were pressed up against my hard chest and I groaned with the feel of her lips parting for my tongue. She was giving in, no matter how much she wanted to deny me and herself, it was clear from our kiss that she couldn’t say no to me forever.
I rolled her over so I could get on top of her. I knew exactly what it was that she needed and soon I had her right where I wanted her, pinned underneath me, gasping as I pressed my hard length against her core. I wanted her to know what she did to me. I wasn’t going to pretend that I wasn’t into her. I had been since I met her on our wedding day. This was my wife and the days I had waited to have her beneath me were too many to count.
My hands moved to her large swell of breasts and I tweaked the soft, pink nipples, delighting in the gasp that she gave me as she wasn’t prepared for it and the tightening that resulted in my touch. Everything was going
as I knew it would. I knew that all I had to do was get my hands on her and I was going to be able to take what was now mine.
As I moved lower with my touch, my mouth moved in that direction as well and when I reached the apex between her legs, she shut them suddenly and made a whimpering sound. She pushed me back and I was over her, breathing hard with need.
“What’s the matter?” How was she stopping me when I was so close? Didn’t she know what I could do for her?
“I can’t Keenan. This isn’t right, but you made your point. I am attracted to you. It doesn’t do me any good though. I told you I am waiting for the right one and I meant it.”
She added more pressure to my chest to make me get all the way off of her. I was raging hard and looking at her as if she may have well lost her mind. I didn’t want to stop. No part of me did and I don’t think I have ever been told no before. Not like this, certainly not.
Sitting back on the other side of the bed, I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to understand what it was that was happening. Did she really just tell me no?
“Come on Gemma. I can make you feel so good.”
She shook her head and stood up. She acted like she needed some space in between us and I didn’t blame her. I had felt the exact same way before as well.
“That is the problem.”
I didn’t get her, but I didn’t have a chance to. She mumbled something under her breath about going out and being back in a little while. I wasn’t sure where she was going, but I was almost positive that she was leaving to clear her mind and I knew I was the one fogging it up. I wasn’t going to apologize for it. I shouldn’t have to. Why was it so wrong to want my own wife?
***
The meeting was running behind schedule and I was due to meet Ronald in twenty minutes across town. I told the speaker that she needed to wrap it up and that got a few surprised tones from around the table. I was usually the one that wanted to iron everything out in these things, but I didn’t seem able to keep my mind very focused. I was far too worried about what was going on with Gemma and what was going to happen when she came home tonight. I’d flown out of the festival again Sunday morning, leaving her there to take the trip back on her own.