by J. E. Taylor
“What if he does come back, what will you do then?”
Jessica shrugged and glanced in his direction. “I don’t know. But I’m still his wife.”
End of conversation. Chris stood up. “You ready?”
She nodded. “Sure you don’t want me to drive?” she asked, breaking the tension.
He broke out in a smile. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
He opened the car door for her. “I want to get home in one piece.”
“Wus.”
He pulled out onto Route 4 toward Maine and “Calling All Angels” piped from the radio. They exchanged a glance.
“Did you ever get the significance of why I picked this song?”
“It gave you hope.” He smiled a little and started singing to the music.
He hit the nail on the head and she twitched in the passenger seat.
“Don’t look so shocked,” he said between lyrics.
His voice melted her just as much as his touch did and she sighed, closing her eyes, Eric’s words echoing in her head. You’re the only one who could save him from himself.
Her thoughts echoed in his mind. “You are.”
“Hmmm?” she replied, opening her eyes.
“Nothing.” He continued singing softly to the songs on the radio.
The only sound for miles was the soft lull of his voice singing to the radio and she drifted into a state somewhere between awake and sleep, totally relaxed with the sun beating down on her face.
“You have no idea how much I need you,” he whispered.
“Yes I do,” she whispered back without opening her eyes.
“Shit, I thought you were sleeping.”
She opened her eyes, glancing in his direction and sat up at the sight of his crimson cheeks.
“My God, you’re blushing,” she said and started to laugh.
“You weren’t actually supposed to hear that.”
“Why not?”
He looked over and sighed. “Because.”
She waited, looking at him expectantly.
“Jesus, Jess!”
“I’m waiting”
“Because, I’m trying like hell to keep some distance.”
“Why?”
“Because if I let you in all the way, you could completely destroy me, all right?” His voice rose above the music and he glared at her. “And I have absolutely no control over this.”
“Welcome to my world.”
He pulled the car over on the side of the road and threw it in neutral, ripping the emergency brake in place. He stormed out of the car and leaned on the trunk fighting for internal control. Her car door opened. “Don’t, Jess.” he warned over his shoulder.
Jessica didn’t heed his warning. She walked to the back of the car and leaned against it next to him.
“When Tom comes back, I lose,” he said. “I never lose,” he repeated and looked down at her. “Ever.” His eyes blazed and he pulled her close, crushing her lips under his. He let her go just a quickly and stormed around the car and into the driver’s seat.
She tentatively slipped back into the passenger seat.
He waited until she buckled her seat belt and then floored the car, sending gravel a hundred feet behind them. He shifted the car quickly and pressed the gas pedal down, achieving zero to sixty in a few seconds, trying to outrun what he was feeling.
“Chris.”
He didn’t look at her; he just drove, paralleling her speed earlier. He slid into a restaurant that he had seen on the way up and threw the car in 1st gear and shut the engine. “I’m hungry,” he announced moodily and got out of the car. He walked around and opened her door. “You coming?”
“Only if you cut the attitude.”
He looked down at her. “I can’t,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Huh?”
“If I do, I will end up ripping your clothes off and taking you right here.”
She took a closer look, recognizing the insane need in his eyes. She got out of the car slowly and started walking toward the entrance of the restaurant and turned to him quickly, making him bump into her. “Cut the attitude,” she demanded and then turned back. His hands descended onto her shoulders.
“You don’t want that,” he whispered in her ear. “Because if you let me sleep with you again, I will make sure Tom can never come back.”
Jessica’s eyes went wide and she stopped in her tracks, turning slowly. “Oh no you didn’t.”
Chris held her gaze but didn’t say anything.
“Uh-uh.” She shook her head. “You do not get to threaten him.” She held her hand out. “Keys.”
Chris blinked but stood his ground. “If you sleep with me again, there is no going back,” he growled low in his throat. “I won’t let it happen and if that means taking him out, so be it.”
“Give me the keys! Now!”
“No. I’m hungry, I’m going in to eat.”
They stood in the middle of the parking lot glaring at each other, oblivious to the cars driving in and out around them.
“Then I’ll walk,” she said and stormed out to the road, walking in the direction they were originally headed.
Chris watched her stomp off. He put his hands on his hips and looked down at the pavement and then back at her, taking a deep breath. “Shit.” He trotted after her. When he caught up to her, he put his hand on her shoulder. “Stop.”
“Why should I?” She tore her shoulder out of his grasp.
“Because I’m an idiot and it’s too far for you to walk.”
Jessica slowed down and stopped but didn’t turn around yet.
“I’m sorry. It’s just hard, okay?”
“It’s not okay,” she said, the bite of anger no longer reflected in her voice. “It’s not okay at all.” Tears made tracks down her cheeks.
“Damn it,” Chris whispered. He turned slightly away to get his composure back. “I know it’s not okay.” He turned back to her. “I just don’t know what else to do.” He reached out and brushed a hair from her face. “You already have me wrapped around your little finger.” He smiled a little and looked sheepishly down at the ground. “But as I said in New York, if we do that again, I won’t let you go, and I’m not sure you really understand what that means.”
“Enlighten me,” she said, wiping the tears away.
“He’s going to come back, Jess.” He looked at her. “Sooner or later, he is going to want you back and you’re going to go.” He sighed, intently staring her down.
“We both know I don’t fight fair, not where you’re concerned, so do you really want me fighting for you?” He drew a long breath at the look on her face. “I still have some restraint where you’re concerned, but if we end up in bed again, that will fly right out the window. It’s bad enough now...” he trailed off and looked up the road. “Maybe I will be okay when Tom comes back and you go with him, but I’m not even sure of that.”
“He’s not coming back and even if he did, you don’t know what I’ll do,” Jessica said. “I don’t even know what I want right now.”
“But as you said earlier, you’re his wife.”
“Yes I am. But I’m not sure that’s where I belong. If I was truly happy with Tom, I would never have allowed myself to be with you.” She looked away wondering if what Tom had said to her as she left the hotel was true. “Even though it was inevitable, it still hurts like hell that he left.” She started walking back to the restaurant.
“Do you want to grab lunch or head home?” he asked as they walked through the parking lot.
“I’m hungry too so lunch sounds good. What time is it anyway?”
Chris looked at his watch. “Almost two.”
“The only thing I’ve got going today is the show tonight. It’s the one with the kids in it and I want to tape it.”
“You really want to spend all that time with me?” he asked as he held the door open for her.
“Not particularly, but what else am I going to do?”
His
expression fell.
“I’m kidding,” she said, poking him in the stomach when she passed him.
“That was just mean.”
She held up two fingers when the hostess asked how many in their party. “You really don’t know me very well,” she said after the hostess sat them and walked away.
“What do you mean?”
“I couldn’t pass up an opportunity like that, are you kidding?” She allowed a smile to play on her lips.
“I forgot, you like to play games, don’t you?” he said reaching out and taking her hand. He turned it palm up and slowly traced the lines with his finger.
Her cheeks flushed and his smile widened.
She went to pull her hand away and his grip around her wrist tightened.
“I told you a long time ago that I didn’t want to play games with you. I lied.” He continued tracing the lines on her palm and wrist.
“Stop.” She inhaled deeply.
Intimately familiar with all the erogenous zones on a woman’s body, Chris knew how to exploit each and every one and he was pleased that he hadn’t lost his touch. He stopped and released her wrist, closing his own eyes and blowing a slow stream of air from his lips to gain control.
“Can I get you two something to drink?” the waitress asked.
“Ice water,” both of them said at the same time without taking their eyes off each other.
“Do you know what you would like?”
“Not yet,” Jessica said, breaking eye contact. “But if you wouldn’t mind bringing the water now, that would be great.”
“I know what I’d like,” he said in his smooth, sexy voice and scanned her up and down after the waitress left.
Jessica blushed. “What is your favorite song?” she asked, changing the subject and opening the menu.
The waitress arrived with the water and took their order. She left a moment later.
“I’m not sure whether to drink this or dump it over my head,” Chris said.
“Same here,” she said and took a sip. “Now, what’s your favorite song?”
Chris thought for a while and shook his head. “I don’t know, right now one doesn’t stick out. There are so many that I’d categorize in my list of favorites.”
“Okay, favorite artist?” she asked, broadening the scope.
“All time or current?”
“All time.”
“Pink Floyd,” he said without hesitation.
“Current?”
“Nickleback,” he replied. “You?”
“Add to your list Aerosmith and Bon Jovi and we pretty much match up.”
He smiled. “A rocker. I would have never guessed.”
“Babe, I’ll always be a rocker at heart.” She laughed. “Loud music and fast cars, that’s me.”
“Aren’t you getting a little old for that?”
She shook her head. “No, I’m only twenty-nine.”
“If I didn’t know exactly how old you were, I might actually believe that.”
“How old are you?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I’m twelve years younger than you are, almost to the day.”
“When’s your birthday?” He piqued her interest.
“July seventh.”
“Sevens.” She looked at him and laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“Seven is my lucky number.” She broke out in goose bumps. “You turn thirty-five this year.”
“You definitely don’t look your age, Jess.”
The waitress came with their food.
“How old do you think she is?” Chris asked the waitress.
“Chris,” Jessica scolded.
“I don’t know, early thirties?” she guessed.
Jessica smiled. “How about him?” She pointed to Chris, turning the tables.
“Mid-thirties.” She smiled at Chris.
“Bingo,” Jessica replied, laughing. “And don’t you dare tell her how old I am,” she warned Chris and he snapped his mouth shut.
The waitress looked between the two of them.
“I’m a little older than he is,” Jessica replied.
The waitress smiled and wandered away.
“A little?” He picked up the burger and took a bite.
She thought of several different comebacks, all of them crude and all would elicit Chris to do something equally as inappropriate back. Instead, she smiled and took a bite of her salad.
“This is nice.” He leaned back in the seat.
“Yeah, it is.”
“I can’t remember the last time I had a date,” he said and then started to laugh. “Yes I can.” He looked at her as the dinner he brought her flashed through his mind. Her in the white floor length dress, she had looked like a goddess.
“Seriously, that was your last date?” She caught his memory.
“Yes.”
“What about before that?”
He thought. “High School,” he finally said. “Senior Prom. I think my date’s name was Cheryl.” He took a deep breath. “I screwed around in college a little, but the scar made it tough and by the time I got out, Frank had drafted me to set up the complex. That took a few years and by the time it was finished, we already had our first prisoners. He said I was brilliant and the fool that I was believed him.” He glanced out the window.
“You were brilliant at editing,” she said causing him to look at her. “What I saw you do with that video, it was amazing.”
“Really?”
“Yes, just like the pictures you showed me in your apartment. They were brilliant,” she blushed. “You seem to have a natural brilliance that comes through in everything you do.”
He raised his eyebrows.
She laughed nervously. “Even the way you seduce me...” she paused meeting his gaze. “You were just as brilliant being evil. Now you just have to channel that the right way.” She studied her hands. “So Frank was right, you are brilliant.”
A shadow passed over his eyes.“Evil?”
“Yes Ty, you were the embodiment of evil when we first met.” She met his gaze. “And you were brilliant enough at it to scare the hell out of me.”
“You were scared of me?”
“Yes.”
He was miffed. “The only time I saw fear was the first time in the chair,” he said. “Then all I saw in your eyes was defiance.”
She laughed. “I played the game well, didn’t I?”
Chris recoiled in his chair.
“You started protecting me long before you realized it, didn’t you?”
His jaw dropped.
“I was trying to survive and the videos you played for me that first day on the treadmill, they gave me exactly what I needed to do just that.”
“What was that?”
“Your weakness,” she said.
“Which was?” He shifted uncomfortably in the seat.
“You needed to hear them beg and you needed to win.” She finished her water. “I never gave you either of those things.” She paused. “I never gave you the power you so desperately wanted over me. If I had, we wouldn’t be sitting here today.” She sat back in the chair. “The only thing I didn’t plan on was falling for you.”
He laughed and ran his hand through his hair. “You have got to be kidding me.”
She shook her head. “I am almost as good as you at playing games and Mike could have told you that.” She smiled at the frazzled look on his face. “You were absolutely right though. I did want you, but I wasn’t ever going to tell you that down there.”
“You continue to surprise me.” He waved for the check.
“I am far from an angel, Chris. Not quite as far as you, but.” She shrugged. “I know how to drive someone crazy and I know how to make a man fall in love with me.”
“You mean you know how to manipulate people,” he said and the waitress headed over. Chris peeled two hundred dollar bills and handed them to her.
“Keep the change.”
The waitress became
completely flustered at the massive tip, thanking them over and over again and Chris glanced sideways at Jessica.
“I guess,” Jessica said answering his earlier statement as they headed outside. “But I’m not really a manipulator, I’m a motivator.”
Chris laughed thinking about the junkie he put in rehab. “So you did know how to use the power.”
“No, I didn’t know how to use it,” she said seriously.
He looked down at her as he held the car door open. “You may not have realized it, but that’s probably what you were doing.” He kissed her on the lips. “Either way, I’m glad because in some way, you granted me this freedom that I have now.” He walked around the car and slipped into the driver’s seat.
“Ty, what do you really want?”
“The dream,” he said without hesitation. “To be with you,” he added for clarification as he glanced over at her. “For the rest of my life.” He put the car in gear and slid smoothly onto the road, heading back toward Maine.
“We have to deal with Frank’s ghost before I can think about a future anywhere,” Jessica said as she watched the scenery pass by. If we live through that then I’ll worry about what I’m going to do about you.
Chris cast a sideways glance at Jessica. “All I know is when I’m with you, I’m the person I want to be.” He paused. “And when I’m not, I’m more likely to revert back into the old Ty we know and love,” he said sarcastically.
“You don’t have a split personality, Chris. You can control that if you want to.”
“But without you, I don’t necessarily want to control it.” He let the silence fill the car. When he pulled into the garage and cut the engine, he sat still, mulling over what he wanted to say. “I used to think you ruined me, but actually what you did was save me.” He slowly got out of the car and stretched. “Are you coming in?”
Jessica hesitated, studying the hopeful glint in his eyes. He had done an amazing thing for her this morning and she was grateful, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to tempt fate.
“I promise, I’ll be a gentleman,” he said, trying to alleviate her fears.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that before,” she spouted before she could stop it, making her blush.
“I’ll teach you how to play chess then I can dazzle you with my culinary expertise.” He grinned, his eyes sparkling. “And if you’re game we can watch the show here and I’ll burn it to a DVD for you.”