He was growing cold, callused, she thought. “You know, you’re not only abandoning the baby,” she told Barry, “but you’re abandoning Brittany and Spencer, too. They asked me tonight why you’re always so mad when you get home.”
“Mad?” he asked. “I’m not mad.”
“They think you are. Abandon me if you have to, Barry, but don’t abandon them.”
He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe she’d uttered those words. “You’ve got a lot of nerve. You take an important decision like our family completely out of my hands, and you have the gall to tell me that I need to treat my children better? I come home to this house and I have no control over anything that goes on here. You’re in there, heaving in the bathroom while the kids are bouncing off the walls, and I’m sleeping down in the basement because the chill in our room is just too much.”
“Barry, I’m trying to tell you that we don’t have to abort this baby. There’s hope. She can have a life that’s fairly normal.”
“Best case,” he said, looking back at her, “but worst case is that she’s an invalid, that she can’t do anything, that she can’t talk, that she’ll never be able to walk, or that she’ll be sick all the time and hate her life and die young.”
Her eyes filled with tears at the picture he had of their child. She shook her head hard. “Oh, no, that’s not the worst case, Barry,” she said.
He got up, set his hands on his hips. “What is, then?”
“The worst case,” she said, “is that her father would want to abort her before she ever has a chance to try.”
Barry went in and slammed the door behind him. The children both looked up from the picnic table, but neither of them asked what was wrong. Their parents were fighting again. It was getting to be a habit.
Tory got them to bed early that night, then retreated to the bedroom and cried herself to sleep.
CHAPTER Thirty-Nine
Since the field trip to the park took place on Tuesday, Brenda invited Tory and Spencer. She hoped it would cheer Tory up and distract her from her troubles. She couldn’t help chuckling as they pulled the van out of the driveway and waved back at Mark, who stood next to David with a stricken look on his face. It was clear that he couldn’t believe they were leaving him.
“Are you sure you’re not going to turn around and go back to get him?” Tory asked Brenda.
“Not on your life,” Brenda said. “Mark will be fine. He just needs a little tweaking before we can really get things off the ground.”
Tory gazed out the window. “You know, I haven’t been around Cathy’s kids all that much, but all three of them strike me as smart alecks. I don’t know why you’d ever commit to teaching Mark.”
“I knew I could help him,” Brenda said. “Like I said, he’s going to be fine. David plans to work his little fingers to the bone today, and then tomorrow when I tell him to get his work done, maybe he’ll take me more seriously.” She looked over at the big shirt Tory wore over her khakis, and she could see that her stomach was rounding out slightly. “So how are you feeling?” she asked softly, keeping her voice down so the kids—chattering in the back—wouldn’t hear.
“Feeling good today,” Tory said. “No nausea.”
“Isn’t that something new?” Brenda asked.
Tory smiled. “Yeah, it’s new, all right. I’m fifteen weeks now. Maybe I’m getting past it.”
“So what about Barry? Has anything changed?”
Tory shook her head. “Still sleeping in the basement.” The rims of her eyes reddened and she laid her head back on the seat. Brenda knew they couldn’t go into this in any more detail with the children in the back of the van. Besides, she wanted this to be a day of fun, not conversations that dragged them all down.
It wasn’t until a few hours later, when the children were involved in throwing bread crust to the ducks over the little bridge at the duck pond, that Brenda and Tory were able to sit down in the shade and pick up their conversation.
“So what are you going to do about Barry?” Brenda asked Tory.
She shook her head. “I don’t know.” She watched a mother pushing her baby past the kids in a stroller, and Spencer leaned over and made a face at the child. The baby giggled.
“Mommy, look!” he said.
Tory grinned. “He loves babies.”
“Almost all children do.”
“I’ve been thinking about telling him and Brittany.”
Brenda gave her a glance. “Well, you’re not going to be able to hide it a lot longer, but do you think it’s a good idea to do that when Barry is still so confused?”
“He’s not confused, Brenda. He knows exactly what he wants,”
“But Tory…I know Barry too well. He’s not the kind of man who could easily abort a child. There’s got to be something going through this mind, something he’s got to work through.”
“Well, there is, of course,” Tory said. “His autistic brother, Nathan. Barry thinks he’s never contributed anything in his life. He thinks he’s miserable. But I don’t think he is. I think he just sits there as content as anybody on earth. And his mother loves him.”
“But you can at least understand where Barry is coming from.”
“Well, I can understand it,” she said. “I just don’t agree with it.”
Brenda shifted on the bench and propped her elbow on the back of it. “Tory, I’ve been praying really hard for you, and so has Sylvia. She reminds me in every e-mail to remember to pray for you.”
“I appreciate that.”
Brenda wondered if Tory had been getting enough sleep. “I think your marriage is going to be all right, and I think Barry is going to get used to the idea of the baby and come around. Just give him some time.”
“I don’t want to give him time,” she said wearily. “I want to take all control of this from his hands because he’s not thinking clearly. If I were to tell Spencer and Brittany and they got all excited about my pregnancy, then he’d have to stop talking about abortion; he wouldn’t have any choice.”
“That’s one way to change his mind,” Brenda said, “but are you sure it’s the right way? It could just alienate Barry more at a time when you really need him.”
“I’m not worried about being alienated by him,” Tory said. “I’m worried about saving my child’s life.”
“Well, it’s not like he’s stalking you, ready to take the baby. He’s not breathing down your neck and demanding that you do it, is he?”
Tory crossed her arms and stared after the children. “Oh, no, he’s just giving me the silent treatment, sleeping in the basement, coming home late at night.”
“Still, I don’t think you should tell the kids. I think you need to give him another couple of weeks, maybe a month. Then when you absolutely can’t hide it anymore, go ahead and tell them, but only after you’ve warned him.”
Tory didn’t want to hear any of that.
“Promise me you’ll pray about it,” Brenda said.
Tory nodded, but Brenda knew the commitment was shallow. “I’ve been praying about it. And I keep thinking that with all this prayer, God could still heal my baby.”
“Sure, he could,” Brenda said.
“I mean, just because the lab test showed a chromosome problem doesn’t mean that it’s going to stay that way. God has raised people from the dead. He’s made the blind to see. He can fix a stupid little chromosome.”
“He certainly can,” Brenda said, “and you know me. I sure believe in miracles.”
But it was clear that Tory wasn’t so sure. Her eyes filled with tears and she looked away. Brenda squeezed her hand. “You’re going to be all right, Tory. You’re going to love this baby and you’re going to take care of her, and your family is going to be fine.”
“There you go again,” Tory said. “That incredible optimism.”
“Well, what’s there to be pessimistic about?” she asked. “God is totally in control, and he’s not going to let anything happen to you that he
didn’t plan.”
“Are you sure?” Tory asked, meeting her eyes. “Are you sure that Satan is not involved in these things sometimes, giving us children who are deformed or retarded or have heart disease?”
“Satan is not more powerful than God. Nothing happens without God’s permission. Everything is for a reason.”
“Barry mentioned that God isn’t supposed to give us more than we can endure, but if God knows me at all, he knows this is not the kind of thing that I can handle.” She breathed a bitter laugh. “I have to have everything perfect, neat, and organized. I’ve spent years taking care of my looks because perfection is such a big thing with me, and now he gives me an imperfect child. Some irony, huh?”
“Maybe,” Brenda said. “Maybe not. Maybe this is how God is going to show you that perfection isn’t the important thing.”
“Couldn’t he just send me a letter, or a video? Or even do something to me, instead of my child?”
“This is how it’s supposed to happen. And you know what? Barry is part of God’s plan, too. Somehow he’s going to use Barry in this. I have a lot of faith in your husband.”
“Why?” Tory asked.
“Because I know him to be a believer,” she said. “It hasn’t been that long since Barry came to the hospital to talk to David about his faith. He tried to lead David to Christ, but David just wasn’t interested. That took a lot of guts, and whenever I see Barry now, I get these warm thoughts, because I know he cared enough about my husband to tell him the truth.”
“Yeah, we’ve come a long way since that,” Tory said. “Who would have thought he would go from sharing his faith with David to demanding an abortion of his own child?”
“Who would have ever predicted any of what’s happened lately?” Brenda asked. “Who would have thought you’d be pregnant? Who would have thought I’d be homeschooling Mark? Who would have thought Sylvia would find a little girl and keep her?”
Tory stared out into the breeze with vacant, pensive eyes. “Do you ever feel like life is just one series of crises after another?”
“No,” Brenda said without hesitation. “Actually, I feel like it’s one series of blessings after another. It’s like Sylvia said. God sends the showers and the sunshine.”
“So that’s what you think this is? A shower?”
Brenda smiled. “A shower of blessings, maybe,” she said. “You just never know. I bet the parents of all those children in that Down’s Syndrome school think their children are blessings. Soon, you’ll be one of them,” she said.
Tory was pensive as the kids came back down from the bridge, ready to move on to their next activity.
CHAPTER Forty
When they got home that afternoon, Brenda went around the house to the workshop. Through the window, she saw Mark working hard to cut out a shelf. David stood over him, encouraging and supervising, and Mark seemed to be listening. He looked so industrious with his goggles and gloves on that she almost hated to disturb him.
She opened the door, and Mark looked up. Suddenly, that look of concentration on his face changed to an angry scowl. “So how are you two doing back here?” she asked.
David gave her a wink. “Mark’s been a real big help today.”
Mark pulled off his gloves and slammed them down. “Can I go home now, or do you want me to dig a ditch or something?”
Brenda started to remember the hostility she’d felt earlier. She’d had peace today without Mark, but her problem obviously was not solved.
“You go ahead home,” she said. “I just saw your mom drive up. Steve’s with her. He had a truckload of clothes they’re sorting through in the garage. Maybe you can help them.”
“After working all day in here? I’m not helping nobody do nothing.”
Brenda decided to let Cathy handle that. Mark pushed out past her, and she turned back to David.
“That kid needs a lot of help,” he said as he went back to what he was doing.
Across the street, Cathy grabbed an armload of clothes from Steve’s truck and went to drop them on the table she had set up in her garage. She saw Mark coming with a grim look on his face, and hopeful that he’d have a better attitude than yesterday, she abandoned the clothes and met him halfway. “So how was your second day of homeschooling?” she asked, her voice dripping with enthusiasm.
“Mom, you should never pay her,” Mark snapped. “She’s just using me, that’s all. She’s not trying to teach me anything. This is all just a trick.”
Cathy shot Steve a look. He was grinning and trying to look busy with the clothes. “So what did she do? Make you work?”
“They went on a field trip, Mom. She made me stay and work with Mr. David all day in his stupid workshop.”
Cathy’s own smile faded. “Mark, what did you do to get punished?”
“Nothing,” he said. “I just didn’t understand my work. She goes around and gives us assignments without teaching us anything, and then she disappears so you can’t ask questions. We’re supposed to be mind readers, I guess. I waited till she got back so I could ask her, and the next thing I know, she’s telling me I didn’t get to go on the field trip ‘cause I didn’t get my work done.”
Cathy was still skeptical. “Mark, I know Brenda. She wouldn’t punish you over a misunderstanding. Why is it that her kids could figure out the assignment, but you couldn’t?”
“Because she explained it better to them. She treats me like the wicked stepchild. Like I’m just getting on her nerves if I ask her one thing. I can’t help it if her kids are smarter than me!”
That did it. Until now, Cathy had reserved her judgment until she could talk to Brenda, but she hated it when Mark thought he was dumb. His older brother and sister had told him that for twelve years. He’d embraced that lie in school. She didn’t want Brenda perpetuating it. “They are not smarter than you. They just listen better.”
“I’m telling you, Mom, she just didn’t want me with hen She took off with her own kids and left me here.”
Cathy glanced across the street. Brenda wasn’t out. “So where did they go?” she asked weakly.
“They went to the park at Lake Brianne, spent all day there. I had to stay in that stupid workshop breathing sawdust and varnish and listening to a buzz saw all day long.”
Cathy was getting aggravated. “Mark, there’s got to be more to this.”
“There’s not, Mom! It’s not the last time she’s gonna do it. She’s gonna take advantage of me every chance she gets. She hates me. She’s only doing this so she won’t have to work a real job. Mom, she’s nothing like you think.”
Cathy was getting angry. “Well, maybe I need to have a talk with Brenda,” she said. “Mark, you go on in and put your stuff away.”
“Mom, I’m telling you. You don’t want to keep paying her. Let me just go on back to school. It’s not too late.”
“Go in the house, Mark,” she said. “I’ve got to go talk to Brenda.”
When the door closed behind Mark, Cathy swung around and started down the driveway.
“Now hold on there,” Steve said, stopping her. “You don’t want to go off half-cocked and start yelling at your friend. Keep in mind, this is Mark we’re talking about.”
She glared up at him. “And what is that supposed to mean? He’s my son!”
“I know, but I’m just telling you kids have a way of exaggerating things. It’s probably nothing like he said.”
“Are you calling my son a liar?”
Steve closed his eyes. “No, Cathy, I’m not calling Mark a liar. I’m just telling you that when things are filtered through a child’s eyes, they don’t come out exactly right. You know that as well as I do.”
“Well, I don’t care. I’m going to talk to Brenda and get to the bottom of this. Do you want to come with me?”
Steve seemed to consider getting back in his truck, but then he glanced toward Brenda’s house. “Yeah, I’ll come. Maybe I can keep you from ruining a friendship.”
“Fine
.” Cathy started across the street, and marched around Brenda’s house where she had seen her go before Mark came home. She found Brenda in the backyard, encouraging Leah as she jumped to a hundred on her jump rope. Tory was with them, sitting on the swing next to Brittany. Tory waved at Cathy, but Cathy barely noticed.
“Brenda, I need to talk to you.”
“Ninety-nine, one hundred. Oh, hi, Cathy. Hey, Steve. Leah just passed the hundred mark.” When Cathy didn’t respond, she looked up at her and saw the anger on her face. “Uh-oh. What did he tell you?”
Cathy sat down. “He says that you went on a field trip today and left him behind to work for David,”
Brenda nodded. “That’s right.”
“He says it was because he didn’t finish his work.”
“Right again.”
“Well, maybe he needed a little more explanation about the assignment.”
“It was easy, Cathy. He just refused to do it.”
Tory got up. “Listen, I’ve got to get home.”
Brenda nodded and Cathy didn’t say anything. But Tory couldn’t leave until she found Spencer, and at the moment, he wasn’t anywhere in sight.
Brenda tried again. “Cathy, I probably should have talked to you yesterday, but I didn’t want you to get a bad feeling about the first day. You obviously didn’t get the whole story from Mark.”
“How do you know what I got?” Cathy asked. “I didn’t tell you everything he said.”
“If he told you that I took the kids on a field trip and left him to work for David, that’s only part of the story.”
“That’s enough,” Cathy said too loudly. “Brenda, I’m paying you to teach my son. Not to apprentice him in carpentry.”
“Calm down, Cathy,” Steve said quietly.
She turned on him. “Calm down? Would you calm down if this was Tracy?”
“Cathy, please,” Brenda said. “Just sit down for a minute, would you?”
Cathy didn’t want to sit down, but when Brenda did, Steve pulled her down. He sat down next to her with his arm around her.
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