The only sound now was Natalia's soft steady breathing and the small noises of the Friskin as it moved around in the shipping crate beside them.
Ixion sighed and carefully lifted each rogue wave of black hair from Natalia's face so he could see it clearly. She was beautiful. His elusive princess.
The heart pendant he had bought for her lay resting against her bosom, almost slipping into her dress. She had asked him to put it on her after they had made love. Everything had been so perfect that he had almost fooled himself into believing that things would be different now.
They couldn't be.
If her parents discovered what she had done, they would be angry with her.
If her parents discovered what he had done, they would execute him.
The black band around his wrist crackled and then a voice came over it. The palace was secure. The riots in the city had been quelled. They were safe to return.
Natalia's nose wrinkled and she curled up against him, as though she had heard those words and didn't want to go back to the palace. It was a nice fantasy. When he told her that they could return, she would be happy, not sad. He stroked his fingers across her forehead, not wanting to wake her yet. He wanted to have this moment last a little longer, wanted to imprint it all on his memory so he would never forget a second of it.
Her eyelids fluttered and then lifted to reveal her bright clear green eyes. A shy smile touched her lips and a hint of colour reached her pale cheeks. He smiled back at her, continuing to caress her, not wanting her to leave him yet.
Or ever.
"There was a noise,” she muttered, her voice filled with sleep.
Ixion wanted to tell her not to worry about it and to return to sleep but her eyes were growing brighter and more awake by the second. She rubbed her face and then frowned.
"I must look terrible."
His smile widened. If terrible was looking like an angel, then she looked terrible.
She pulled the black waves of her hair from her face and slowly sat up. Her arms crossed over her chest, hands grasping the dull grey blanket near her shoulders to keep it around them.
"Is it morning?” she said with a look around.
"Almost.” Could he tell her to stay with him? Was that a foolish thing to do? There was no chance for an assassin and a princess. He was a dead man when they returned to the palace. No matter how hard they tried, if they continued to see each other they wouldn't be able to keep it secret. His position meant that he would often see her father and family. He didn't think he could hide it from them, this sin that he had committed.
Would she even want to keep it a secret? A female of her standing deserved a man that stood on a similar level, far above the one that he could reach. The commander of the royal assassins was the highest echelon he could attain, and it would never be enough. Her father wouldn't condone an assassin courting his daughter.
"We should leave,” he said and stood, then stooped and picked up the crate with the baby Friskin in it. It was Natalia's now, he supposed. She would look after it and it would probably remind her of him, just as the heart pendant would.
He hoped that she would never forget him.
That was all he could ask for.
Without another word, he opened the door to the club and stepped out into the still-dark street. Dawn was only minutes away but the sky showed no sign of lightening. Clouds of smoke drifted overhead in the ink-blue sky, the last signs of the riots. When they returned to the palace, he would have to file a report to General Lyra II about what had happened and would find out how much damage had been done to the city. Whoever had planned the riots was going to become his next target.
Natalia walked in silence beside him as they headed back towards the palace. The baby Friskin shifted around in the box, looking up at him occasionally with wide blue eyes full of curiosity. It was probably wondering where Natalia had gone. He had heard that Friskins grew attached to people and Natalia had protected it from the fighting and shown tender care towards it.
The palace loomed ahead of them, bright golden in the light of the sun now peeking over the horizon.
Natalia wrapped her arms around herself and stared at the floor. What was she thinking? Did this hurt her as much as it did him?
When they crossed the bridge into the palace grounds, passing the guards, he felt her glance at him. He wanted to look at her too, but doing that would draw attention from the guards that were going about their business. He had a duty to protect Natalia from any rumours that might spread if he looked at her, showed any sign of affection towards her.
He had neglected his duty once already. He wouldn't do it again.
They walked up through the garden to her apartments and she opened the door. He handed her the box with the Friskin in and she looked sad as she took it. Tears rimmed her eyes with sparkling diamonds and he longed to wipe them away, to tell her not to cry for him because he wasn't worthy of such a thing.
Ixion took a step back.
His fists clenched and trembled with restraint. Everything he wanted stood before him, beautiful in the pale light of dawn, and he couldn't have it. In order to protect her, he had to do this, even though it would hurt them both.
He had to leave her.
He had to disappear from her life and never let her see him again.
* * * *
Natalia placed the crate down just inside the door and closed it. She stood on the threshold, facing Ixion, hating the fact that they were back at the palace. Tears trembled on the brink of falling but she wiped them away, not wanting to look weak in front of him. There was so much pain and sadness in his eyes as he looked into hers that she felt it too. When he took hold of her hands, it was with a solemn look, one that made her heart ache.
"Goodbye.” That softly whispered word pierced her heart like a shard of ice, turning her cold. It felt as though he was saying it forever and they would never see each other again.
Not wanting it to be over, she stepped between his arms, tiptoed and kissed him.
She didn't say goodbye. He walked away without so much as a backward glance and a tear slid down her cheek, hot in the cold morning air. She would never see him again.
Her hands trembled when she curled them into fists. Her heart hurt.
Suddenly the palace garden looked like a dark and dead place. The building towering at her back felt like a prison. Her title was a collar around her throat.
She hated everything.
Everything but Ixion.
Why couldn't she have been born a normal woman who was free to choose who she loved?
She stared at Ixion's retreating back. He disappeared into the staff quarters of the palace.
Why couldn't she be free to love him?
Something moved at the corner of her vision and she turned sharply to see a woman standing in the garden below her. Her long blue hair and milk-white skin shone in the light of dawn, a face Natalia had never seen before. Intruders?
Natalia stepped back towards her apartments. Her heart pounded.
Had the female seen her and Ixion?
Natalia's eyes widened when a male that she recognised walked down the path to the female. His dark hair, handsome face, and clothing of white shirt and tan trousers was unmistakable. Rezic. Her eldest brother had returned which meant that her father and sister had too. The female was one of the party. A Vegan.
The female spoke to him. Natalia could only see her lips moving. The distance between them was too great for her to hear what was being said. Rezic turned a frown on Natalia. She panicked.
He strode up through the garden, his frown remaining fixed on his face, making him the picture of their father. The female followed him. Her unusual appearance went unnoticed by Natalia. She could only focus on her brother and the look in his eyes.
"I heard the strangest thing,” he said without any trace of amusement in his voice. “Princess Tesia informed me that you were kissing someone."
"Leave me alone.” Natalia back
ed into the door and fumbled for the pad that would open it. “And keep your spy away from me!"
The door behind her opened and she darted in, closing it straight in Rezic's face. He banged on it, making the glass shudder in the frame.
"Come on, Natalia, confess! I'll find the man.” The note of amusement finally laced his voice.
Natalia cursed him for finding this something to laugh about. It wasn't a joke. She loved Ixion with all of her heart. Why did all her family have to treat her as though she was nothing more than a plaything, someone to do their duty for them while they had all the fun? Why couldn't she have fun for once? Why couldn't she be free?
Her eyes widened in horror when the female with Rezic gave a very detailed report of what she had seen.
Rezic was quiet for a few seconds. The pounding of Natalia's heart filled the silence.
How could the female have seen that much at that distance?
"An assassin!” The force and anger in Rezic's voice shocked Natalia enough that she stepped back from the door. “Natalia! Open this door now!"
"No!” Her voice shook but she held her ground. She wouldn't do as he asked because she was afraid that she would confess if she did.
"Fine.” His tone was calm and measured. It only meant one thing. He was up to something. “If you will not confess ... I will find your assassin myself."
Natalia gasped. He wouldn't.
She looked out of the door to see that he was gone and so was the female.
He would.
Panicked, Natalia grabbed her long coat to protect her from the morning chill of the palace and put it on. She lifted the crate with the Friskin in off the floor and placed it on her bed so it would be safe while she was gone, and then ran to the door.
By the time she had reached the central courtyard, most of the assassins were lined up and Rezic was pacing the length of them.
Her heart stopped when her father chose that moment to walk through.
"Inspecting the troops?” he said in an amused tone. “That isn't like you, son."
"No.” Rezic's voice was dark. “I am looking for someone who took something dear to the family."
"A thief?"
Natalia's fingers closed around the heart pendant. If they discovered what Ixion had done, he would be punished, or worse. She prayed to Iskara that Ixion wouldn't come but knew that he would. He was commander of the royal assassins. It was his duty to be here.
She would have to stop this madness before he arrived.
Dashing between her brother and father, and the gathered assassins, she flung her arms out either side of her to block their way. They both frowned at her. Her father looked confused.
"Please don't do this, brother,” she whispered, not above begging him if it would protect Ixion. “Leave it alone ... you're worse than Aiden and Ciel."
"Confess then, little sister.” There was a strange look in Rezic's eyes. It was hard to tell whether he was joking or not.
At that moment, Ixion walked in.
Natalia looked at him, her heart aching. Tears welled up.
"I only wanted to be normal ... free of the tight bonds that hold me prisoner, tied to a destiny that I don't want. Is it too much to ask?” She looked at her brother and the tears in her eyes slipped down her cheeks. His look softened and then changed completely to one of remorse.
"I didn't realise ... I thought it wasn't serious or I would never have—"
"Serious?!” She cut him off and glared at him. The anger in her veins made her blood boil and she couldn't contain herself. She stepped towards her brother. Her voice was a snarl. “What would you know of serious? You spend your whole life gallivanting around the galaxy, fleeing your duty as Lyra V. You have never had to dance at the balls or meet the new commanders or bestow gifts upon the populations of Lyra. You shirk your duty at every turn! And while I hate mine ... I do it ... and I'll do it even when it breaks my heart.” Her eyebrows furrowed when she looked at her father, her anger overwhelmed by the sadness and pain in her heart. She clutched the heart pendant tightly. “I'll marry someone I don't love because I'm a princess and a good marriage is expected of me."
Stepping back, she lowered her gaze away from her father and brother's stunned ones and turned away.
"I guess we can't all be as fortunate as Renie."
With that, she ran away, unable to hold back her tears any longer.
* * * *
Ixion stared in the direction that Natalia had run, touched by her words but angry, upset that her family had hurt her so much. Both her brother and father looked shocked. Her words had hit their mark but Ixion didn't expect them to have much effect. Natalia was so different to her family. She bore so much pain and stress for their sake when none of them would do the same for her.
"She always did speak her mind and tell the truth.” Rezic was the first to speak. The sound of his voice made Ixion's fingers curl into tight fists of barely restrained anger. He wanted to teach Rezic some manners too. Clearly Rezic had thought Natalia's feelings were nothing other than something to be laughed at. He was worse than Aiden and Ciel. “I never saw it the way she did."
Remorse. It wasn't enough for Ixion. Rezic deserved to suffer for hurting Natalia.
"I never knew,” General Lyra II whispered to the floor and Ixion looked at him, able to forgive him in part because of how pained he sounded. The expression of sorrow on his face was a silent confession of the feelings in his heart. He truly hadn't been aware of Natalia's feelings and what the family were doing to her. “I never knew that she was so unhappy here."
Ixion had heard enough.
Her own family hadn't noticed something which he had seen that night seven years ago. This palace was a prison to her and she only wanted to be free—like her brothers and sister were.
He stormed past Rezic and General Lyra II, intent on going to see Natalia, intent on doing what they should have been—comforting her.
"Where are you going?” Rezic's voice was loud in the courtyard.
Ixion stopped, turned on his heel, and stared him down.
He considered the repercussions of what he was about to say and then threw them all away, no longer caring what happened to him.
"My lady needs me. My duty—no—my heart has long been pledged to her. I will not stand by as you do and let her suffer!"
Rezic's eyes narrowed into a glare. “Insolence!"
Ixion took a deep breath to control his anger and walked back to Rezic. The prince backed off a step, moving closer to his father.
"I am staring at insolence ... a man who does not do his duty, even when a woman does hers when she hates it. The males of this family are weak and unworthy of the general. His daughters have inherited all of his strength!” Ixion didn't back down even when Rezic's hand moved to the laser pistol hanging at his side. “I have watched Aiden and Ciel become spoiled and watched an heir prince turn his back on his people. Weak fools who don't consider the outcome of their actions ... how it all falls to Natalia to lift the name of their family."
Rezic's hand closed over the pistol's grip. General Lyra II's hand against his chest stopped him.
"I have long felt the same. I have neglected my role within this family,” he said and Ixion looked at him, surprised that he had found the strength to confess such a weakness. “I have not given my sons the upbringing that they needed."
Ixion stepped back. “That is your problem, your highness. I cannot linger."
He turned and walked away. Rezic shouted after him, ordering him to stop, but he kept going. With a heavy heart, he removed the commander's insignia from the arm of his black dress uniform and dropped it to the floor.
He couldn't work for a family who would hurt Natalia.
His feet knew the way to her apartments, leaving him free to lose himself in thought. The repercussions of what he had done would be tremendous, but it had lifted a heavy weight from his heart. Natalia must have felt the same when she had confronted her eldest brother and father.
Reaching her door, he knocked and waited. After a few seconds had passed, it opened inwards and Natalia poked her head around it. Her eyes were sore and red, her cheeks stained with tear tracks. She stepped back and allowed him to enter, closing the door behind him. His gaze followed her as she went to the end of her bed and stood there looking lost.
His heart ached.
Nothing he could do now could make his punishment worse.
He walked to her, wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and held her close to his chest. She sobbed against him, her hands pressing into his chest, and her body trembling in his arms. He pressed kisses to her hair and whispered soothing things, not wanting her to cry over her family or him.
"It is over for me, Natalia,” Ixion murmured into her hair and she looked up at him through wet eyelashes. With a slight smile, he wiped away her tears with the pad of his thumbs and cupped her cheeks. “I will likely be executed for the things that I said to your brother and father."
Her eyes grew wide and then a spark of warmth filled them. “Thank you."
"They deserved it—"
"No,” she interjected and dropped her gaze to his chest before shyly raising it up to meet his again. “For last night ... for giving me a moment of normality and letting me experience love."
Her voice hitched on that final word and he ached for her, to see the hurt in her eyes and know that she was thinking this was the end for them.
"Do not speak like that,” he said and rested his forehead against hers. Her breath was soft and warm on his lips, so close to his. “I will not leave you here."
She drew back, shock flittering across her face.
"I will take you away to a place where you can be free.” He held his hand out to her. It shook and he cursed it. Now wasn't the time to look weak in front of her. He wanted her to see how strong he could be for her, how he would protect her from a life that made her miserable, and would do anything to bring her happiness. “We can go somewhere no one will look for you."
"No.” It was the answer that he had expected deep in his heart. She wasn't one to run away. “I can't leave ... I have a duty to my people. They need me now more than ever."
Heart of an Assassin [Daughters of Lyra Series] Page 7