I don’t know how long I stared at the rock, wondering why he had chosen to save me if he was just going to take it all away anyway. Even considering if I would have been better off leaving this ill-fitting world behind, if I was going to lose him anyway.
“Don’t do it, Dayne. Please don’t.” I whispered against his shirtsleeve.
“Why would you choose to stay with me?” He asked. “You can have your life back. I can make you blissfully ignorant of how close you came to death.”
That first life wasn’t meant to be mine—it just filled the years until I found Rose.
Phin’s reasoning about his life with Emma Lee before he met Rose replayed in my mind, suddenly finding a meaning I hadn’t fully appreciated that afternoon weeks ago. It had seemed crazy at the time, that someone could have two lives in a single lifetime. Now, I knew exactly what he’d meant, exactly why he’d had to let go of his old life in order to live the one he did now.
“That life was never mine, Dayne. It just filled the years until I found you.” I repeated Phin’s words to him, holding my breath, listening as he drew his own ragged breath in and slowly released it over me.
“You’re not making it easy to say goodbye, Faye.”
“Then don’t say it.”
“I have no choice. Humans can’t keep secrets like this.” He gestured wildly to the bus, finally breaking our embrace.
My eyes hit the ground, knowing I could keep a secret, but doubting if I could admit to it. I slinked over to the rock that would have been my executioner. Dragging a few fingers over the rough surface before I sat down. In a strange way, the rock had ended that old life for me anyway.
If my life hadn’t been about to end, Dayne wouldn’t have had to save me. If he hadn’t saved me, I would be boarding a plane to Atlanta right now. But fate had stepped in and brought him back to me. I wasn’t going to tempt fate again.
“I can keep your secret, Dayne,” I heard the voice echoing in my ears before I recognized it as my own. My eye closed immediately, knowing I had backed myself into a corner. There was no other way around this obstacle. No way but to tell the secret I’d kept for years.
“What secrets do you keep?” Dayne asked as he picked up a large shard of broken glass and tossed it to the roadside. I knew he was expecting to hear I had cheated on a final exam or put a ding in my parents’ car.
I took a deep breath to stall and to calm the nerves that were causing me to break out in a cold sweat all over. I turned my head from him, hoping to hide the embarrassment on my face and preparing for him to judge me like the rest of the world always had.
“I see the future.” My voice was barely above a whisper, muffled by my bowed head. Part of me hoped he hadn’t heard what I said.
It was such a simple thing to say—four little words that had changed everything about my life a few years ago. Four little words that had never left my lips before. Four little words that had constantly played on repeat somewhere in the back of my subconscious, telling me I was a freak and I wasn’t worthy of a normal life.
The same four little words that could change my life again. The same four little words that could give me Dayne.
“You see the future?” His attention snapped back to me, studying me in a new way. His brow pulled together, and I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see the confusion turn to disgust like it always did when people inevitably found me lacking in some way.
I nodded my head in answer, confused to feel his fingers curling around my chin again. My eyes flew open to find him inches from me.
“Heeyyy,” his voice was soft and soothing. “It’s okay. That’s a good thing in my world.” I peeked up at him through my lashes. The edges of my mouth quivered with the tears I was fighting back.
“Not in my world,” I managed to say without any of the tears escaping. I reached up and squeezed the hand that held my chin, needing to know he wasn’t going to leave me now that my deepest secret was loose in the world.
“You’ve never told anyone?” He questioned, clearly doubting that a human could keep such secrets for so long.
“No.”
“Has anyone ever suspected?”
“No.”
“Then it’s our secret.” His whispered promise was hot against my ear and it was everything I had ever needed to hear. Finally, I had shared the secret that had ruined my life, and despite it, he still wanted me. The last bit of resistance melted from his eyes. He watched my hand holding his, his brow furrowed again in thought and I hoped he was thinking of a way we could stay together.
He sighed and lowered his head, resting his forehead on my cheek.
“Will you give me a chance, Dayne? I can do this. I know I can. If I mess up, you can take it all away then. But at least let me try. I don’t want to lose you again.” I could smell the powdery, evergreen scent that I had come to recognize as his through his shirt. I pressed my nose to the thick black cotton covering his shoulder and inhaled deeply, drinking in his smell.
“Do you understand what you’re asking, Faye?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think you do,” he said, pulling away from me and taking my hand. He looked up the road and down the road, searching for something. I was motionless and silent by his side, watching the way his muscles worked as he held my hand.
Spotting an abandoned barn in the nearest field he took off. Dragging me behind him, over the rough stonewall, up through the swaying grass. I ran to keep pace with the length of his stride.
“Where are we going?”
“You don’t know everything about me, Faye. I won’t let you make this decision until you do.”
I said nothing else, following along behind him obediently, hoping my total submission would convince him in some way.
He let go of my hand only to slide the rusty barn door open. Once inside the deteriorating structure he took a lighter from his pocket and lit an old lantern hanging on a nail.
Cobwebs hung from old beams in the rafters, a thick coat of dust covered everything else. The floor was littered with old hay and discarded pieces of farm life. An ancient tractor sat parked in one of the stall bays, originally meant for horses, but later filled with modern farming tools of convenience.
A few old logs had been rolled into a little circle around the charred remains of a fire, burned soda cans lying among the blackened remains.
“Are you cold?” Dayne asked, watching me rub my arms as I sat down on one of the up turned logs.
“No,” I lied, not wanting to postpone whatever he was about to show me by building a fire.
He nodded, studying me as he backed away into the aisle of the barn a few feet away. Above us, the hayloft circled the barn like a balcony. Tiny pricks of moonlight filtered in through old nail holes in the roof—stark, bright white contrast against the weathered black tin. It was a cozy little space, despite its age and apparent neglect. The intensity of his voice broke through the silence, startling me and refocusing my attention to him.
“You need to see what I really am. This?” he held out his arms and looked himself over, from black long sleeves to his ever-present canvas pants. “Is the skin I wear in your world. You need to see what I am in mine.”
His focus fell to the dust at his feet, eyes closing, head bowed in concentration. His strong muscles clenched along the length of his body, growing, tightening, rounding his muscles even larger than they already were. His skin became streaked with ribbons of soft silver light, replacing the black fabric that covered him.
I gasped and nearly fell off my stool, but the enlightenment didn’t stop there. The dull human skin unraveled from him like an orange peel until he stood before me, radiant in the barn’s undeserving decay. He illuminated the air around him, casting dark shadows on the objects that weren’t lucky enough to feel his glow.
He was beyond beautiful. So far past perfect. Everything the human race could never be. I stood silently, my mouth hanging open in shock. Slowly, he raised his head, and I saw hi
s eyes. Darkest emerald green, glowing like jewels in a pirate’s chest, mesmerizing me the instant they locked onto mine. I floated toward him, like a cobra entranced by a snake charmer’s flute.
He held a hand out to stop me.
I had no choice but to obey.
He closed his eyes again, this time raising his magnificent head up to the heavens. A mist began to gather behind him, slowly taking shape, until two great gossamer wings formed in the clouds at his back, reaching beyond the bounds of his towering frame. They fluttered slightly, testing their strength and sent a silvery dust dancing in the air around him. In one great motion, they swept forward and Dayne lifted off the ground. The sudden movement kicked up wind that blew hard against my face, scattering my hair in every direction.
I brushed it back, not wanting to miss the amazing sight before my eyes. He hung there in the air of that musty little barn, hovering a few feet above the ground. Again, his emerald eyes opened and found mine.
He was heavenly hanging there, like the angel Gabriel revealing himself to the world. I was struck to dumb, open-mouthed silence staring at him.
Timidly, I took another step forward, expecting to be stopped again. He lowered himself back to the ground, welcoming my advance. I circled him with faltering feet, taking it all in.
All I had read or heard people say about the Sidhe was that they were beautiful in human form. Even on a normal day, I would’ve considered Dayne more breath taking than beautiful. Dayne in Sidhe form? There weren’t any human words for it. Majestic? Resplendent? Deified? Nothing seemed worthy; they all fell short of his presence. It wasn’t just the beauty of his face or the bulge of his impeccable muscles. It was so much more.
It was the power he commanded, an unflinching authority that would make the meanest of men cower at his feet. A radiance he cast over his intimate domain, the soft glow caressing my soul in an almost palpably serene embrace. He calmed the world, soothed the earth, healed what was broken and made it new again.
I reached a hand out to touch the wings behind him. My hand went straight through the brightness without disturbing it at all. I placed my hand on his shoulder and ran my fingers down the glowing, rippling muscles. An energy shot through my body that only came with his touch. I didn’t know if I should bow or fall at his royal feet proclaiming how unworthy I was.
Instead, I put my hand along the strong contour of his cheek, turning his head just slightly so the emerald glow of his eyes looked right into mine. I stretched up on my tiptoes and placed the gentlest of kisses on his cheek.
“Why would you ever waste your time with someone like me?” I asked in a tiny voice. My stomach churned with fear. It was crazy to think Dayne in human form would want me. It was beyond ludicrous to hope this immaculate being would too.
Sensing my fear, he shook the great body and the glow fell away from him, disappearing into thin air just as it had appeared. He was human again, and took my hands, leading me back to the little circle of up-ended logs, just as a normal human would. My hands seemed undeserving of his touch.
“Why would you ever waste your time with me?” He smiled warily, obviously hoping his revelation hadn’t scared me too much. I shook my head at the absurdity of his question. “Faye, I see this world quite differently.”
“Obviously. You’re like a god or something.”
“Demi-god...technically,” he winced at the word as if he hated to say it. I let out an audible huff, snapping my mouth shut when I realized it hung open.
“Even better.” I rolled my eyes, sighing as I rubbed my knuckles nervously on my jeans and looked away, knowing I was way out of my league.
“I don’t blame you,” he sighed. “I didn’t think you would still want this once you knew the truth.” He stood to walk away and my voice caught in my throat, unable to believe he could still want me.
“No! I do!” I practically screamed at him and a bird that had been nesting in the hay fluttered from her nest and out the open hayloft door. His arms rested over the half-wall of a nearby stall and he rubbed at his temple in a frustrated way. He stopped immediately when my hand touched his shoulder.
“Dayne, just try. Let’s see if we can do this,” I pleaded; he continued to study my hand on his shoulder. “If we can’t or things get dangerous, you have permission to take every memory away. Like I never even met you.” I shuddered at the thought of what I offered him. Forgetting him didn’t seem possible after the summer I’d had. It was a chance I was going to have to take to get what I really wanted, and deep down I knew I would never breathe a word of the secrets that had been shared that night.
He shrugged, the last bit of resistance melting from his eyes. His hand folded over mine, still resting on the shoulder that was glowing like the moon minutes ago.
“It’s all or nothing. No in between.” He turned, taking my hand and placing it over his heart, while his other hand found its spot on my denim shirt. He stepped closer, so close I felt the weight of his stare on the top of my head as I looked down at our hands entertained on his chest. I exhaled one slow, slightly shaky breath, so affected by his proximity every rational thought jumbled in my brain.
“All,” I babbled dumbly, and his lips found the top of my head.
Chapter 16
The Great Deception
We lingered there, wrapped together, for what seemed like forever, the pieces of my new reality settling around us. The world still spun on its axis just as before. The moon still shone in the sky. Unsuspecting humans still lived their lives blissfully ignorant of the secrets we’d revealed. I was the only part that had changed. My mind opened willingly to a new existence. As difficult as that should have been, it quickly became as easy as breathing. It was the only way I could keep Dayne.
My old reality fluttered back to me. “Dayne, what about this afternoon?” I hated to bring it up.
“Right.” The memory came back to him, too, but he didn’t look angry. He looked guilty, like a schoolboy begging the principal not to call his father.
He let out a soft whistle and the thud of giant footsteps sounded down the length of the barn’s pitched gables. LeSheen poked his head through the door. This was too much.
“How is he here? He’s…he’s supposed to be dead!” I was relieved but furious that he had deceived me, completely devastating Phin in the process.
I pushed out of his arms, turning to face the giant white horse. To my astonishment, it actually looked like LeSheen was laughing.
“Faye, calm down,” Dayne said as he walked over to LeSheen and placed a hand on the enormous neck.
“No! You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, Dayne. Phin is devastated. How is he supposed to find another job?” As much as I hated to argue with him, I couldn’t forget the horrible mess I had left in Clonlea.
“I know I do. Just calm down and listen to me,” he begged. I was quickly learning that I wasn’t capable of telling Dayne no.
I plopped down on the log, arms crossed over my chest in petulant submission. He looked down at his hands. LeSheen stepped fully into the barn and began to nibble at the dregs of hay left in a manger.
“I’m going to give Phin and Lucas their jobs back tomorrow. That was always part of my plan. As soon as you were safely away from Clonlea, I had a plan to find LeSheen and make things right again. Phin’s the best barn manager I’ve ever had.” He walked over and watched LeSheen.
“Ok,” I said, feeling better about Phin. “But why did you need a plan to fake kill your horse?” I swung my legs around, turning to watch him.
“I don’t know if this will make sense to you,” he said, rubbing his hand over his head as he thought, clearly never having explained his world before. “Faye, you call to me. Somehow, someway we’ve connected. That’s never happened to me before. Never.” His eyes went wide to emphasize his point. “I don’t know what it means, or why it’s happened, but it has. You’re in my head and it was getting too hard for me to stay away from you. I’m no good for you, Faye. Ireland’s no good
for you. I thought if I got rid of you, you’d be safe.”
A hand flew up over my neck, like he was some hungry vampire wanting to suck my blood. For the first time that night, I felt the danger Dayne wanted me to feel. If he lost control? Changed his mind about not wanting to suck my soul? I would’ve been powerless to stop him.
“No, Faye. Not like that,” his brow furrowed, hating to see how terrified I was of him. “I was afraid I would do exactly what I’ve done tonight.” I nodded encouragingly when my hand fell back to my lap. “There’s something about you, Faye. Ever since that night I saw you standing on a chair watching me arm wrestle, I knew you were different.”
He’d noticed me that night? I sat there aghast, staring at him, unable to believe he had been feeling the same way about me I had been feeling about him all summer. He certainly had a good poker face.
“Why didn’t you just try it the normal way? Could you not hear what you did to my poor heart every time you came near it?”
“I went to bed every night thinking about it,” he said, pulling at his sleeve to check his watch.
“Listen, Faye. I’ve got all the answers I know you need. But right now? I need to get you home. I can’t freeze time indefinitely.”
“Oh…..right,” I said easily, as if I was used to such things.
A long low whistle whispered out of his lips and LeSheen’s head shot up instantly. The horse snapped to attention like a soldier and trotted over to us. Dayne extended his hand to help me on.
“No way. I’m not getting on him, he hates me,” I shook my head and backed away. I was very glad to see LeSheen alive, but I was not about to go near him.
“LeSheen’s not a normal horse. He’s one of ours. He reads my mind.” He grabbed my hand and placed it on the enormous shoulder. LeSheen’s coat quaked under my touch. “See? He likes you.” The massive animal bowed down at our feet, offering his strong back to me.
I climbed up. Dayne was behind me before I sat down, arms wrapping around me and pulling me to him. He spoke a single word to LeSheen and we were off, no bridle, no saddle.
Heir of Earth (Forgotten Gods) Page 23