“Hey babe,” he whispered in my ear. “How’re you doing?”
“I’m okay,” I answered, turning around and wrapping my arms around his neck. He smelled so good - a unique scent I’d grown to love - like spices and motorcycle grease.
“You sure?” he asked, looking down at me with concerned eyes.
“Yeah,” I nodded. He was always checking in on me, especially when we had a new girl around. He knew it sometimes triggered old feelings in me, but mostly it made me feel good that we could help. “She reminds me a little of Lacey when she first showed up.”
“Yeah, me too,” he said. “A little scared, a little lost. Who can blame her?”
“True,” I replied. “But look how far Lacey’s come now.”
“Yep,” he replied. “Nothing a lot of counseling and the love of a good man can’t help.”
“Well, it also helps that she’s not being held prisoner anymore,” I said, wrapping my arms around him tighter.
“Well, yeah, that too,” he said, winking down at me.
“Right,” I said, smiling up at him. I don’t know what I’d do without this man. He’d changed everything. Everything. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be alive, let alone doing this amazing work. Running Solid Ground was nothing at all like being a cop and so much more rewarding. I wasn’t inhibited by pesky administrative rules and laws. I could work just outside of the law and do so much more. I didn’t have to rely on shaky evidence and search warrants and corrupt prosecutors.
I could rely on my intuition and this amazing team that I was a part of.
It worked and when you were dealing with criminals like Royce Randolph, you needed to be able to get results, no matter how you got there.
“Listen, I have an idea of how to get close to Royce,” I said to Ryder.
“Of course you do,” he said, teasingly.
“He’s an investment advisor, right? So, here’s what I was thinking. You and I will go to him, tell him we just made a ton of money and we need help figuring out how to handle it. We’ll be vague, but it will open the door. Once we’re in, we’ll drop a few hints and see if he takes the bait to let us in a little farther.”
“Whatever you say, my love,” he said, dipping his head and kissing me. His lips were warm, soft and inviting. I could have kissed him for hours, which is what I usually did, but now was not the time for an extended kissing session. It’d only serve to rile us both up and it was dinner time.
“Dinner, babe,” I murmured, pulling away from him.
“We can eat later,” he growled, pulling me closer into his hard body, the hardest part of all growing against me.
“We can make love later, too,” I said, pulling away slightly. He was incredibly hard to resist, and any other time I would have taken him up on his offer. But I didn’t want to leave Vanessa alone with everyone else on her first night here, so I shook my head, and kissed him again quickly. “Later!”
He growled his disapproval, but he let me go, his eyes flashing with a familiar hunger that I’d grown to love so deeply.
“Look, there’s Vanessa,” I said, as she walked in the door, followed by Wreck. They both looked a little shell-shocked, which was to be expected from Vanessa, but it only made me wonder what was going on with Wreck. He’d been a wonderful addition to the family and I was glad he was here. Ryder didn’t have much family and it was great to see the two of them slowly warming up to each other.
“Did you enjoy your walk?” I asked Vanessa as she walked over to me in the kitchen. Ryder walked away, grabbing a beer from the fridge and walking out onto the front porch.
“I did. I saw these two beautiful owls in the woods,” she said.
“Oh, fantastic! You met Oliver and Olivia!”
“Yeah, Wreck told me their names. They’re adorable.”
“They are the sweetest little things, aren’t they? I think they’re both madly in love with Ryder.”
“Wreck mentioned they were close,” she said.
“So, how are you doing?” I asked. “Are you settling in okay?”
“I guess so. I really appreciate how hospitable you’ve been, Grace. Thank you,” she said, her voice soft and shy.
“It’s my pleasure, Vanessa. How are you on clothes? Is there anything at all you need?” I’d already shown her the room she’d be staying in, which was Ryder’s old room - the same room I’d woken up in with no memory at all of who I was or how I’d gotten there. I’d fallen in love with Ryder in that room, been given an entirely new lease on life. As far as I was concerned, that room was magic. I loved that it was used as a safe place for the women we rescued now. It only seemed right.
“I’m okay for now,” she said. “I couldn’t bring much, so as not to alert Royce, but I have what I need for now. Thank you for the room.”
“You’re welcome. You can stop thanking me, really. That’s what we’re here for.”
“Okay,” she said, smiling at me. “I’m sorry, I’m just so grateful.”
“I understand. I really do. Listen, if you ever want to talk or need a shoulder to cry on, I want you to know I’m here for you. We’re all here for you. Any one of us will stop what we’re doing to listen, whenever you need us.”
“I appreciate that, but the last thing I want to do is talk about my feelings. Right now, all I can think of is annihilating Royce and his friends.”
“That’s understandable,” Grace said. “But remember to take care of yourself, too.”
“Trust me, taking down Royce will be the best self-care possible,” she said.
“I get it, I do. So, listen, I have a plan to get close to Royce. Ryder and I will pose as a couple that need his investment help, and we’ll just happen to mention that we might be interested in his other services as well. We’ll do it subtly, so he thinks it was his own idea. I have a feeling, from what you’ve told me about him, that he’ll walk right into our trap.”
“He’s so arrogant, he totally will. He thinks he’s untouchable and he can do whatever he wants. That sounds perfect, really.”
“Great, I’m glad you approve,” I said. She smiled warmly, her green eyes lighting up with what I think was hope. “All you have to do now is sit back and watch him burn.”
“I know you told me not to thank you again, but that sounds like the best gift ever, Grace,” she said.
“You’re welcome, hon,” I replied. “Now - let’s eat! You must be starving!”
“You know what? I am!”
“Well, I hope you like cheeseburgers and fries,” I said, patting my gut. “Cherry’s an amazing cook and I’ve gained at least fifteen pounds in the last year eating her food.”
“I’ve only eaten salads for the last ten years,” she said, inciting a pang of sadness in my heart.
“Good God, that sounds awful,” I said. “We’ll get you nice and fat before you know it!”
She laughed loudly, a bellowing belly laugh that echoed in the room. It was contagious and I began laughing too.
My gaze drifted behind her and I stopped short when I saw the look on Wreck’s face.
He was standing near the fridge, his face pale, his eyes wide, his body frozen in place as he stared at the back of Vanessa’s head.
He looked like he’d just seen a ghost.
CHAPTER TEN
Vanessa
Dinner was chaos.
So many people. So much food. So much booze. Laughter, conversation, and good natured ribbing amongst the Gods had me in stitches. Slade was constantly teasing Wreck, and Riot was giving Slade such a hard time, it was hard to know if they really liked each other at all. If it weren’t for the constant grins on their faces, I would have thought they’d soon start fighting.
As it was, everyone got along famously, like one big family really. Even back when I had a family, it was still small. Just me and my Mom and Dad, and then when Mom died, it was just the two of us. Our meals were small, quick and efficient, with not a lot of laughter, despite my father’s best efforts.
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And dinner with Royce was pretty much nonexistent. Most of my nights I ate dinner alone, unless there was some boring dinner engagement he was dragging me off to, and those were much more boring than eating dinner alone. The times I did have to eat with him, we sat staring across at each other like mortal enemies.
I’d grown to love the solitude. And, even though being in such close proximity with so many people was unfamiliar, I could see how I could grow to love it. I’d always wanted to just be alone, so that I could avoid being with Royce.
This was different. Way different.
The love these people had for each other was so evident. I was envious, and that hurt, but it made me want it.
But I was here now, and as I took that first delicious bite of Cherry’s cheeseburger, I felt like I’d surely died and gone to heaven. I devoured it and then asked for another. I avoided the small glances they all exchanged with one another, not letting myself get paranoid that they were all thinking about what a pig I was eating two cheeseburgers - those were Royce’s thoughts, not mine.
Fuck you, Royce.
This small, first act of rebellion made me feel amazing, and I made a silent vow to myself to do everything I could that Royce had prohibited me from doing. Suddenly, my head was full of excited ideas. I wanted to live - hell, I wanted to thrive!
I wanted to eat cupcakes and hot dogs, go to a dive bar and get drunk, get a sunburn floating down the Clackamas river in an inner-tube and go shopping at a thrift store - all things I’d loved to do as a teen. Royce refused to let me wear anything that wasn’t couture out of the house and I couldn’t wait to slide on a pair of old faded Levi’s. But there was so much more, things I’d never done before.
Excitement bubbled in my chest. Excitement to finally be able to live my life. Excitement to make my own decisions. Go where I wanted to go. See who I wanted to see.
Maybe even have sex.
The fact that I was an almost thirty year old virgin was not something I was proud of. But I was extremely glad that even though it was for his own disgusting and weirdly twisted reasons, Royce hadn’t touched me.
He’d asked me shortly after he kidnapped me if I was a virgin and I’d told him the truth. I was. Jesse and I had come close but we’d never gone all the way. This fact alone added to Royce’s sick perception of me as some kind of pure object that he possessed. He loved it that nobody had ever been inside of me. He loved it that no other man had ever touched my face. It was like I was some brand new doll that he’d purchased that he didn’t want to take out of the box.
The fact that he’d not touched me almost made me feel worse, when I thought about the girls he was abusing. If I could have taken every one of his assaults to save them from it, I would have. I don’t know if I’ll ever shake the guilt from that.
That’s why I was so intent on bringing him down. What he did to me was horrible enough, but what he’s doing to those girls? It was too much to bear.
I shoved five fries into my mouth and chugged it with a huge gulp of beer. It was like heaven to my tastebuds.
“My God, this is so good,” I said to no one in particular, my mouth full of food.
“There’s plenty, darlin’, you go on and have as much as you want,” Cherry said, her copper curls bouncing around her head as she talked. She was great - sassy and fiery with a drawl that made her sound like she came straight off a South Carolina plantation or something. I half expected Rhett Butler to emerge from the shadows. Without asking, she walked over to the fridge and brought back another ice cold bottle of beer and placed it in front of me.
“I bet you could use a few more, couldn’t ya, darlin’?” I nodded enthusiastically, bringing the bottle to my mouth and washing down the fries.
“What’s for dessert, Cherry?” Slade asked. He was sitting at the far end of the table, his cell phone glued to his hands as he texted.
“Peach cobbler, but what do you care?” Cherry asked. “You can’t get your hands off that phone long enough to eat anyway.”
“Hey, I’m talking to my own little Peach,” he said.
“Well, if it was anyone else, I’d deny you dessert. But since it’s Diana, it’s okay. Send her my love. And that little boy, too!”
“Will do, Cherry, will do,” he said, flashing his crooked smile at her before going back to his phone.
Cherry shook her head and retreated back to the kitchen. I drank my beer, watching as she pulled a huge casserole dish out of the oven. The sweet, warm scent of peaches and cinnamon filled the air and everyone began moaning and chattering enthusiastically. She sat it down in front of me and I just stared.
“I take it you’ve had peach cobbler, before, right hon?” she asked.
“Actually, I haven’t,” I answered.
“What?” she exclaimed. “Well, that’s just not right at all. Let’s fix that!” She grabbed a spoon and dug into the golden flaky crust, exposing the thick peach filling. My mouth watered, the smell drifting up and floating right into the pleasure center of my brain.
“I don’t think I’ve ever smelled anything so amazing in my life,” I muttered, watching with wide eyes as she placed a huge portion of it on my plate.
“Dig in, darlin’!”
And I did. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as soon as the tangy sweetness touched my tongue. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t speak, all I could do was shovel it in my mouth as fast as I could. It was piping hot, but I didn’t even care. It was worth the pain of burning my tongue.
“I think she likes it!” Cherry said, triumphantly raising a spatula over her head. Everyone cheered as a hot blush crept up my cheeks. I wasn’t used to all this attention or having this many eyes on me. But as I looked around at all of them, I realized this was something I could get used to very quickly.
They may not have been my family, but I let myself pretend they were for just a second, just to feel it. My heart swelled as I swallowed the last bite of cobbler on my plate.
“More?” Cherry asked.
“My god, yes,” I pleaded, as they all laughed again. I began laughing too, and for the first time since I’d arrived, I felt my shoulders relax and the tension in my chest fade away. I took a deep breath as I watched Cherry put more cobbler on my plate.
“Thank you so much,” I said to her, her big smile beaming down at me. The wrinkles around her eyes only added to her charm. I loved her instantly. She patted my back and walked away.
I looked over at Wreck and saw him staring at me quietly, his eyes intense and thoughtful. I nodded at him and smiled, before stuffing another bite of cobbler in my mouth.
He smiled softly in my direction and for a hot second, everything else faded away.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Wreck
They say there’s no originality in the world. If you have a thought, an idea, you can bet someone else has had that same thought or idea before. They also say everyone has a doppelgänger. Someone that looks just like you.
But I’ve never ever heard of someone having the exact same laugh as someone else.
Vanessa’s laugh was exactly like Frankie’s, it was uncanny. It was fucking eerie, is what it was. As soon as I heard her in the kitchen with Grace, goosebumps appeared on my skin.
My brain was playing crazy tricks on me. Was I really so fucked up that I was continuing to do this? Put some twisted reflection of a dead girl onto a living one? What the fuck was wrong with me?
Maybe it’s just been too long. Too long since I’ve held someone. Too long since I’ve laughed with someone the way I laughed with Frankie. I’d spent my entire life feeling like I wanted to crawl out of my skin, become someone else, become someone, anyone, who hadn’t gone through the experience of having their first and only love explode into a million pieces and out of their life forever. I’d never felt comfortable after Frankie’s death. I’d begged a God I didn’t believe in to turn back time. To make it not happen, to keep her alive, to bring her back by my side. Since none of that happened, I was eve
n more convinced there wasn’t a God. So, I’d turned my wish around and wished I could be someone else completely. That hadn’t worked either.
So, I’d just said fuck it and embraced the uncomfortable. It was all I had, after all. I felt more at home with these Gods than I ever had with any imaginary one.
I didn’t remember what it felt like to really be happy with who you were, with what you had. I’d been chasing a ghost for ten years and I wasn’t any better off for it, that was for sure.
I must be more fucked up than I thought.
But that laugh. And those eyes. And the way she looked at me, the way she ate, the way she moved - all of it screamed Frankie to me. But obviously, I was insane. She looked nothing like Frankie, nothing at all.
Was I that fucking lonely that I was really doing this? If so, I’d reached a new low.
So, as all of these thoughts were bouncing around my head like a fucking ping pong ball, I kept my distance. I watched her, though. Maybe too much. But I couldn’t help it. At least I’d found the strength to keep my mouth shut. I’d look like a total fool if I asked her if she was a dead girl.
Insanity.
But I couldn’t help it, so I did what I always did with those thoughts of Frankie. I pushed them away and bottled them up, instead of expressing them. I wasn’t too keen on spending time in a loony bin and I knew if I told anyone I was wondering if my old girlfriend’s ghost had come back to life, they’d lock me away for a good long while.
At the very least, Ryder would think I was too unstable to be a part of his team. And I couldn’t let that happen.
So, I just watched her. Because that’s all I could do.
I listened to her laugh, I watched her devour the cheeseburgers like she’d never eaten a day in her life, and I watched her discover the delectable deliciousness of Cherry’s peach cobbler with silent fascination.
WRECKED: GODS OF CHAOS MC, BOOK FOUR Page 7