1987: How Do I Get You Alone (Love in the 80s)

by Cameo Renae

  Once she gathers herself, she asks to use the bathroom, and when she exits, she looks at me with pleading eyes. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but will you be able to drive me home in the morning?”

  “Of course,” I answer. “And it’s not a lot to ask.”

  “Thank you. My mom needs me,” she says.

  I nod. “Of course she does. We can leave as soon as you’re ready.”

  “Thank you. I guess I’ll go pack my things.”

  I wish I could hold her a little longer, and help her mend her heart like she’s done to mine these past few days.

  I turn to leave, but I can’t. My heart and legs are weighted by Travis’ concerned stare.

  He doesn’t know how much his being here has helped me tonight. I know when I return home, and it all settles in, things will change. But right now, he seems to be guarding whatever is left of my aching heart. He’s like a drug, numbing the pain, and I want a larger dose of whatever else he can offer.

  My body automatically moves toward him and in a second, I’m pressed back against him, enclosed in the warmth of his arms. My arms wrap around his neck, and my fingers tangle in his thick brown hair. I drag his lips toward mine, and as soon as they meet, the world and all its cares dissolve around me.

  Travis tries to pull back, but I don’t let him. Not this time.

  “I need you,” I beg.

  His hands cup the sides of my face, locking my eyes on his. “You don’t know how much I want to take you, baby. Right here. Right now. But not like this. Okay?” I nod, not completely understanding what he’s saying. “I’ll just help you forget the pain, even if it is for a moment.”

  Before I can say another word, his mouth crashes against mine. This time, it’s desperate, and he doesn’t hold back. His hands find the hem of my tank top, and I raise my arms as he lifts the material over my head, tossing it to the ground. In a split second I’m lifted, and on his bed with his large frame pinned against mine.

  He kisses me, our tongues exploring each other without restraint. He pulls back, and his lips begin branding my skin with hot kisses, down my neck, across my collarbone. When his mouth reaches my breasts, he kisses them gently. His tongue swirls around my nipple before he takes it full into his mouth. Sensations are building; heat and tightness fill my core.

  “Travis,” I moan. I twist under him, but his hands hold me steady.

  Before I can come down from my high, his hands slip down my sides, stripping me of my shorts and panties. I’m completely naked, and he’s the first person who’s ever seen me this way. I’m vulnerable and insecure and immediately reach for the sheet to cover me. But he takes hold of my wrists.

  “Don’t,” he whispers. His eyes are smoldering with desire as he shakes his head. “Lyssa, don’t ever cover yourself when you’re with me. You’re so goddam beautiful.”

  The way he’s looking at me is indescribable. For the first time in my life, I feel sexy.

  His hands slowly run up my thighs, and every place he touches feels like it’s on fire. As he spreads my legs apart, the fire blazes in my core.

  “I want to pleasure you. Is that alright with you?” he asks, his voice a low rumble.

  No one’s ever talked to me this way, and it’s sexy as hell. The fact he’s asking, and not just doing, turns me on even more.

  “Yes,” I moan, my body tortured by him.

  “Then tell me, Lyssa. Tell me you want it.”

  “Yes,” I breathe. “I want you, Travis.” More than anything.

  His kisses me deep as his fingers slowly slide down my stomach and then delve into my center. Oh god. Moaning, my head falls back, my hands grip the sheets. He takes his time, slipping in and out, hitting every freaking right spot. I’m going to combust and right before I explode…he stops.

  His teasing is agonizing me. He slowly moves down my body leaving a trail of hot kisses in his path, until his head is hovering between my legs. There is hunger in his eyes, and a devilish smile on his lips.

  “So fucking perfect,” he exhales.

  I bite my lower lip as he dips his head, his lips press gently against the tenderness of my inner thighs. Then, his eyes fasten to mine. I’m so turned on by him I can I can hardly stand it.

  “Look at me, Lyssa,” he orders, his voice is low and primal. “I want to watch you come.”

  I almost shatter from his words alone. I watch him lower himself, his hot mouth and tongue taking my center, taking me to a place of total and complete ecstasy. It’s otherworldly. Ungodly. A place I never knew existed.

  My back arcs as Travis grips me tighter, his tongue delving deeper. His thumb gently circles my bud, making the pressure in my core build until I can’t hold on anymore. I explode, crossing the threshold, my body pulsing with pleasure and relief.

  In a split second, his mouth is back on mine, his kiss is hard and deep, and I can taste myself on his lips. His tongue swirls against mine as he inserts his fingers back inside of me, slowly slipping in and out as I ride out the remainder of my orgasm.

  Holy freaking hell. My weakened body falls limp. I’m breathless, staring into his big brown eyes. His lips are turned up, and a look of satisfaction is embedded in his eyes.

  “You are amazing,” I breathe.

  He shakes his head. “No, you are.”

  My God. How can someone look so incredibly gorgeous at this unholy hour? The feelings and emotions buzzing through me are unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. I can’t believe what he just did to me. I never knew pleasure like that existed, and he is the one to take me there.

  “What about you?” I breathe, my fingers tracing the definitions on his chest.

  He shakes his head and grins. “Tonight, my pleasure was in pleasuring you,” he says giving me one last, deep kiss. “Believe me, the only reason I’m able to hold back from making love to you right now is that I took care of myself in the shower about twenty minutes before you came in.”

  I giggle at this. “Really?”

  “No joke. I’ve been around you all day, what the hell do you expect?”

  He rolls over to my side, his hand resting on my belly. “Seriously though, I’ve been searching for my soulmate. That one person who satisfies every part of me. Someone who completes me, and fills the deep dark holes I have inside. I didn’t realize you were there the entire time.”

  “I saw you,” I whisper, brushing my hand against the side of his cheek. It was those years I was way too young and invisible on his girl radar. “I still can’t believe this is happening. It feels too good to be true.”

  A broad smile widens on his face. “It’s real, baby.”

  I love the sound of him calling me baby. I roll into his arms and kiss him on his full lips.

  For the first time in my life, I feel complete, and it somehow works as a temporary salve for my devastating grief. Yes, he’s been through a hell of a lot, but he’s so much more than what others see. I’ve seen it all along. It’s what drew me to him, from the first moment I met him. He’s kind and compassionate, which is why he was so broken after Bobby’s death.

  As the sun starts to rise, I head back to the cabin and pack my bags.

  The others are still sleeping, but as soon as they wake, I tell them the news.

  Tiff and Stacey burst into tears. They loved my dad too.

  “Want me to come back with you?” Tiff sniffs, wiping her tears.

  “No,” I reply. “There’s nothing anyone can do right now. I’ll call you as soon as I get more information on the service.” I don’t want to say funeral. It doesn’t sound right.

  “If you need anything, Lyssa, you call me,” she demands.

  “I will.”

  “Promise me,” she says, her hands steady on my shoulders.

  “I promise.”

  She grabs me and pulls me into a tight hug, and starts crying all over again. Stacey joins us, and we cry for at least another five minutes.

  “Your dad was like our dad too. He helped raise us,” Tiff says.<
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  “Yeah, your dad was totally the best,” Stacey adds, sobbing.

  David and Matt, who have been quietly standing behind us, enter the group hug and offer me their condolences. I’m lucky to have great friends and am glad they’ve found good guys to be with them.

  I say my last goodbyes and give my final hugs while Travis grabs my bags and loads up the Jeep.

  “Travis, you better make sure my BFF gets home safely. And tell mom and dad I’ll be home in a few days.”

  “Will do,” he answers, shutting my door.

  I’m glad I have him with me for the ride home.

  Travis starts the Jeep, and I wave goodbye. As we head down that long graveled road, he takes hold of my hand.

  The drive back into civilization is somber and sobering. Lyssa’s tired, so she lays her head on my lap and falls asleep. She’s peaceful and so damn perfect. Every time I glance down at her, I can’t help but smile.

  Being with her feels incredible. She’s captivated me entirely, and I can’t get enough of her. I crave her touch, her presence, her friendship, and most of all…her love.

  I wanted her last night but needed our first time to be special. I want to do it right; not to have the death of her father looming overhead. The timing hadn’t been right, and I wasn’t going to take advantage of it or her.

  In a few hours, we’ll be separated, each of us set free on our own paths, and I can only hope our paths cross again, sooner than later. I know my parents won’t approve. Although they love me, they are disappointed in my lifestyle choices, and I don’t blame them one bit. I have no job, no income, and a long road to travel before I pull my life back together.

  I glance down at Lyssa and smile. She brings out the best in me. I have a purpose and something to work toward. Now that she’s in my life, failure is not an option.

  Travis pulls away, and I feel his loss. Being with him is anesthetizing, and now that I’m alone, I’m uncertain I’ll be able to handle whatever emotional battle is waiting inside.

  I take a deep breath, pull my bag over my shoulder, and make my way toward the door. It already feels different, knowing my dad will never step foot here again. The thought causes my heart to ache, but I turn the knob and step inside.

  “Mom,” I call, dropping my bag on the floor. The house is quiet, and I wonder if she’s in her room bawling her eyes out.

  “I’ll be right out, Lyssa,” she hollers.

  I’m a bit shocked at how normal her voice sounds, especially after the call last night. I head toward the fridge to get something to drink. Then, I hear her footsteps down the hall. I turn, expecting to see my mom a complete mess, but she’s put together and dressed in her nursing scrubs.

  “Lyssa,” she says, making her way across the room with open arms. She wraps me in a hug and holds me tight. When she pulls away, I see her wipe tears from her bloodshot eyes.

  “Mom, you aren’t going to work, are you?”

  “I have to. They’re shorthanded and need me to assist with a few surgeries.” She walks into the kitchen, and I follow her as she grabs a cup from the cupboard, and pours herself some coffee. “Your father told me too many times that if anything happened to him, he didn’t want me to fall apart. He made me promise I wouldn’t sit home, curled up in a worthless ball, crying my eyes out. He also made me promise to be strong for you, and all those who need my help. I have to go. For him. And for me.”

  I can see the pain in her eyes and hear it in her words. She’s trying hard to mask it, but I know her too well. “Mom.”

  She looks at me. “Yes?”

  “I’m so sorry.”

  It takes a moment before she breaks, and tears flow down her pale cheeks. “I refuse to believe he’s dead. I feel like he’ll walk through the door one day, and this will all be a horrible nightmare.”

  “I know.”

  I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her waist. We stand in the kitchen and cry until there are no more tears.

  “We’ll get through this, Lyssa. Your dad wants us to keep going.” She sits down at the table and buries her face in her hands. “I miss him so much.”

  “I know,” I breathe. “I miss him too.”

  The next week and a half is a complete blur. My mom and I are merely surviving, walking around the house like zombies. It feels so different. Dark and cold. We’re not only trying to cope, but we have to prepare for his burial.

  I haven’t heard from Travis, since the day he dropped me off, but he’s constantly on my mind. The strength he gave me during our time together is wavering the closer the funeral gets.

  Whenever I feel too weak, I close my eyes and envision being back in his arms. His comforting words surrounding and filling me. His strength pulling me through.

  I’ve picked up the phone to call him, several times, but I want him to focus on getting his life back together. Deep in the back of my mind, I wonder if he’s thinking of me as much as I am of him.

  The day of the funeral is upon us, and neither my mother nor I am prepared for it. The sky is overcast, and dark clouds are looming in the distance, which adds to the gloominess.

  My mom seems to be holding herself together, but her emotions are as fragile as mine. My heart can’t stop aching, and there is a horrible pain in my stomach.

  By the time we arrive at the gravesite, I’m numb. My heart shatters and tears begin to flow as they remove my dad’s coffin from the hearse.

  This is happening. This is real.

  We follow the chaplain and the soldiers who are carrying my father’s casket. After they set it down, a flag is stretched out over the center of it. There are a lot of soldiers in uniform around us, many I don’t know, and only a handful I’ve seen before. My mom and I are the only family. My dad didn’t have any siblings, and his parents have both passed. He has one uncle, but he is ill and unable to travel.

  A few family friends, including the Prestons, and Stacey’s parents, are present, but Travis isn’t here, and it makes my heart ache a little more.

  My mom is on my left, and Tiff and Stacey are on my right when we are seated. The entire ceremony is a blur, and I keep my head down, avoiding the long cold box holding my dad’s remains.

  There is a cannon salute, then we are asked to rise as they honor him.

  A firing party gives a 21-gun salute, then a bugler plays Taps. We are seated again as the folding ceremony begins. An official presents the flag, once draped over my dad’s casket, to my mother. She takes it in her trembling arms and hugs it tight to her heart while he salutes.

  "On behalf of a grateful nation and a proud Navy, I present this flag to you in recognition of your husband's years of honorable and faithful service to his country."

  With those words, my mom breaks, curling up into a ball. I wrap my arms around her, but the pain in my chest is nearly unbearable. I can’t console her when my own heart is shattering.

  Somehow, we make it to a line where everyone is offering their condolences. There were a few injured soldiers who were on the ship, and they tell us how much they admired my dad. He was well loved.

  In between condolences, I glance up and see a familiar figure leaning against a tree about twenty yards away.

  Travis. He’s wearing a black suit, his hair is slicked back, and he has dark shades on. His hand raises when he notices me, and I wave back. My heart races and feels its first bit of happiness today. I want to run over to him, but can’t. It would be rude to leave before everyone has extended their sympathies.

  I hear Tiff’s voice off to the side. “What is he doing here?”

  She is arguing with her dad, and the next time I glance over, Mr. Preston is walking over toward Travis. My mind is whirling, and there are about ten people left on the line.

  A minute later, Travis is walking back toward the parking lot.

  No. He can’t leave.

  My heart is crushed again as I see him walk away. He doesn’t know how much I need him right now. I didn’t even realize it until I saw him.
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  When the line dwindles, and everyone starts to leave, Tiff and Stacey come over for their last farewells and offer their condolences.

  “Don’t like be a stranger,” Stacey says, hugging my neck.

  “We’re the three Musketeers, remember?”

  “Right,” Tiff says. “One for all—” She places her hand in the center.

  “And one for all,” me and Stace say, putting our hands on top of hers. After another group hug, Stacey heads off with her parents and Tiff grabs hold of my shoulders.

  “Page me as soon as you get to your dorm, and give me your room number.”

  “I will,” I say.

  Tiff and I are heading off to college in a few days. She’s heading to UCLA with David who received a scholarship to play football, and she’ll be taking business courses.

  She wraps me in another hug, but before she leaves I ask, “What happened with Travis?”

  “Oh, you saw that?” she sighs.

  “Yeah.”

  “We told him not to come, you know, because of what happened between him and your dad.”

  I shake my head. “What happened between them was a long time ago. My dad forgave him and would have wanted him here.”

  “Oh,” she exhales. “Well, he has a plane to catch anyway. He and my dad are flying to London in a few hours. Something about a big account, and I overheard my dad say that if they get this deal, they’ll be opening up a new office, and he wants Travis to run it.”

  “Wow,” I say, trying to seem happy. But inside my heart hurts. “Does that mean he’ll be moving back?”

  “Most likely.”

  “When?”

  “I don’t know. It could be as soon as a few weeks,” she replies.

  “Tiffany, we have to go,” her dad calls, waving for her to come. He’s walking toward the parking lot with Mrs. Preston.

  “Coming!” she yells. “Give me a sec.”

  Tiff turns to me and the expression on her face changes. “Look, Lyssa. I’ve known you for most of my life. I’ve also known for most of that time, that you’ve had a thing for my brother, which is why I made you promise to stay away from him. I love you both and don’t want either of you to get hurt. But since the day at the cabin, when I saw you two together, as much as I hate it, I know that you two are good for each other. You make him happy, and I know he does the same for you. Besides, he hasn’t stopped talking about you since I got back from the cabin.”