by Nina Manning
I quickly walked back down another step, and Ava, who was a tall woman anyway, was now towering above me. She looked down at me, her eyebrows raised, her mouth perfectly sealed in a pout. Her camera was hanging round her neck as it usually was – she could often be spotted taking photos of flowers and plants around the estate for her botanical drawings.
‘Someone’s going somewhere in a hurry. Tell me, Sasha, do you know the etiquette for entering a building? Hmm?’ At this last word her perfectly arched eyebrows went up further.
‘I… uh… Sorry, I was just coming to find Caitlin,’ I said, my head spinning with embarrassment.
‘Mmm, yes, I can see that you two have forged a rather sturdy clique. Quite surprising, really, but there we go. I’m sure your mother has warned you about walking slowly and entering buildings with a little more decorum, has she not?’ She joined me on the step, so I wasn’t reaching my neck quite so high to look at her. ‘This is my mother’s house. Saxby has been in the family for centuries. Do you know what a century is, Sasha?’
I felt sweat prickle under my arms, the sweetness of the biscuit I had imagined in my mouth had been replaced with something bitter and metallic. ‘I think it’s a long time.’
‘That’s right, Sasha, it is a long time.’ She paused and looked me up and down. Then she let out a sigh. ‘Now, where on earth could you be going to in such a hurry, hmm?’
My heart thudded in my chest. I had received several warnings from Mum and Dad to not make a nuisance of myself with the Clemonte family. It was important that Mum and Dad kept their jobs, and Mum was worried that me popping in to see Caitlin would aggravate Josephine, but particularly Ava. I was so excited to see Caitlin, I would sometimes forget myself. I had to remember that this was their home first and foremost and I was a guest.
I didn’t know what to say. Could I explain to Ava that the smells from the kitchen had spurred me on and made me run the last few steps faster, so I hadn’t been concentrating on where I was going? But what came out instead was just a mumbled, ‘Sorry.’
‘Maybe slow down just a little?’ She cocked her head ever so slightly to one side. I looked up and felt relief to see Mum had appeared at the doorway with a pair of riding boots in her hand, she was about to open the door to the boot room.
‘Oh, Sasha, love, there you are.’
Ava turned on the step and faced Mum who was standing in the open porch by the back door. ‘Hello, Darcy,’ she said brightly.
Mum’s smile wavered. I looked down at my feet. ‘Everything okay, Ava? My Sasha’s not causing too much trouble, I hope?’ I looked up to see Mum giving me the glare. ‘Are ya, girl?’ Although it wasn’t a question.
Whereas Dad had spurred me on to spend time with Caitlin, I had felt nothing but bad energy from Mum whenever I mentioned I was going out to play. I was certain she thought me forging a relationship with Mrs Clemonte’s granddaughter was a very bad idea. She valued her job and from what I could gather she was worried boundaries were being crossed.
‘Not at all, Darcy,’ Ava sang, her tone of voice had changed dramatically from the one she had just been using with me. ‘I was just giving your young girl a little bit of a history lesson about the house.’
‘Well, good luck with that, Ava. Can’t say history is her strongest subject, is it, love?’ Mum let out a hollow laugh and I thought I saw Ava wince at the noise. I checked to see if Mum had noticed. She hadn’t.
‘Well, if there’s anything else you need to know, Sasha, don’t hesitate to ask.’ Ava stepped gracefully to the side. I looked at her black ballet-style shoes, knee-length blue pleated skirt and light blazer as I passed her and arrived next to Mum who shot me another look.
‘I love that jacket – you look like the spit of Princess Di.’ Mum chuckled as Ava descended the steps to the bottom. Ava turned slowly – the turn appeared forceful – and looked up towards Mum. When she finally met Mum’s eyes, only then did she let her lips form a smile.
‘You mean this old blazer? Why, thank you, Darcy, how sweet of you to say so.’ Ava smoothed the bold striped fabric. I noted how she had rolled the sleeves up slightly, I thought it looked quite trendy and perhaps I could do the same with my school blazer and then I might be one of the coolest-looking kids in my school.
‘Behave yourself,’ Mum hissed at me. She opened the boot room door which was just off the porch and it closed loudly behind her. Ava flinched ever so slightly, then her eyes were back on me again, steely and unwavering.
I turned and walked through the door into the hallway and turned left into the kitchen where Judith greeted me with a huge smile.
‘Hello, my love. Now, I’ve just the thing for you, I need a taster for my angel cake. Sit down and I’ll cut you a slice.’
I sat down at the long wooden table where my mum had been sat rubbing the silver when I first met Caitlin. Judith put a plate in front of me that had three tiers of sponges: pale pink, cream and yellow, with cream in between each layer and topped with a white-and pink patterned icing.
‘Oh, wow, did you make this?’ I said to Judith.
‘Course, I made it – it’s what I do,’ she said as she headed to the other end of the kitchen.
She came back a few moments later, carrying a large jar of pickles.
‘Got to make some tartare sauce for supper – Mrs Clemonte has some of her bridge friends coming over this evening and they want fish and chips, mushy peas, the lot! I suggested I drive into the village to the chippy, but you know what madam is like – she wants it all home-made. Don’t make no difference to me either way, but there’s nothing better than the taste of them chips straight out the paper.’ Judith stood still and looked off into the distance. ‘It’s making my mouth water just thinking about it.’
I could hear Judith talking but all my concentration was on the cake. I took one, two, three bites, it was sweet, light, fluffy, moist – everything I imagined it would be.
‘Cait’s just along in the drawing room once you’ve finished your—’ Judith looked at my empty plate and then my very full mouth. I gave her a crumby smile.
She let out a belly laugh. ‘I’ll put you down as a happy customer then. Go on, off you go.’
I got up, handed my empty plate to Judith, who was still chuckling, and thanked her. Outside the kitchen, I walked carefully along the hallway. I had never once run inside the house but with Ava’s words still ringing in my ear, I reminded myself to take it slowly. So far since we had lived at Saxby, I had only been along to the drawing room, peeked inside the main sitting room and the laundry room with Mum. I knew there was more to this house, and I knew it would be the most exciting adventure to explore it from top to bottom. I had never even been in Caitlin’s room – she’d never suggested we go up there either. I asked Mum why she thought that was, and she told me it was because the Clemontes saw bedrooms as a place of rest and sleep, not for playing in. There were so many other rooms to relax in: playrooms, the drawing room, the library and the huge garden, that to sit in a bedroom was a bizarre concept to them.
As I walked along the hall on the hard wooden floors, which were covered in rugs that had thinned over the years, I could hear Caitlin in the drawing room, with her granny, Josephine Clemonte. Ava thought she was the lady of the house when she was here, even though it was clear Josephine was in charge. I thought about the funny feeling I got in my tummy when Ava had spoken to me earlier. I felt tense when she was around, as though something bad might happen.
I stopped outside the drawing room, and my foot landed on a floorboard that let out an almighty creak, so much so I almost toppled backwards.
‘Present yourself,’ came the voice of Josephine. I knew not to feel scared of Mrs Clemonte; she had only ever been kind to me since we arrived.
Josephine was a jolly lady, and considering she’d lost her husband, Douglas, only last year, she didn’t seem too down about it.
I peered around the drawing-room door and saw Caitlin leaning on the arm of a worn-out brown and
grey chequered armchair. Her grandmother sat opposite her in a dark grey tufted high-back chair; a tired-looking chessboard was perched on a frayed green footstool between them. Pippy and Purdy lay at Josephine’s feet, their heads remained pressed to the floor as their tails thumped out a greeting. A fan whirred softly in the corner.
The first thing I noticed about Caitlin was that she was wearing a long red silk robe over her everyday clothes, and in her hand was a thin instrument, which held a cigarette. I looked Caitlin up and down. I could see that the cigarette was not lit but still the whole attire threw me slightly. It seemed strange how Caitlin was pretending to be a grown-up, even though I did see her family treat her more like one than the child she still was.
‘Hello, dear,’ Josephine said without glancing at me, but the warmth in her voice made up for the lack of eye contact. ‘I’m just finishing up this game. Caitlin is a savage chess player, a total fiend. I will be losing imminently.’
Caitlin remained upright, the cigarette holder poised in between two fingers. She had yet to look at me, in the same way Josephine hadn’t. It was as though she was staying in character, the way we had been learning in my drama class at school. I stood in the doorway, not sure whether to move in further. I hadn’t exactly been invited into the room and from where I was standing, I felt as though I was an intruder looking in on an intimate moment between a grandmother and her granddaughter. As I stood, I thought of the endless Monopoly games I had played with my parents that went on long into the night, abandoned for a few hours’ sleep, ready to be picked up again in the morning.
Caitlin made two moves with a horse then stood up and took a flamboyant bow. Josephine leant back in her seat and closed her eyes. Her hair was silver and pinned up in a French plait, her long, spindly legs poked out from her floral floaty skirt in front of her. She let out a heavy sigh. Finally, she turned to me and looked me square in the eye.
‘That girl will be the death of me.’
Later, Caitlin and I found our way to our usual spot in the clearing in the woods and sat down. Caitlin took out some lemonade; Judith had been making litres of the stuff.
‘So what’s with the get-up?’ I asked Caitlin. She had removed the robe and was in red shorts and a delicate blue patterned shirt with a dainty collar. It looked expensive and not the sort of thing I would have been allowed out to play in.
‘Eh?’ she said, then let out a loud belch after she had swigged her lemonade. I smiled inside, happy that Caitlin could be totally herself with me; this was not something she would have got away with doing in front of her parents. Instead, I pulled a face of disgust even though I was barely offended.
‘The silk robe? Is that, like, how you normally dress?’
‘That? Oh, sometimes. It’s called a kimono. It’s from Japan. My grandfather brought it home from one of his travels. It belongs to my grandmother, but really it belongs to me.’
She passed me the bottle of lemonade and I took a swig. I, too, felt a belch coming, but it barely came out as a pop. I was annoyed because back home in Hackney I had been a champion belcher.
‘What do you mean it really belongs to you?’
‘Well, everything you see from here to the house – the land, this stretch of woods, and, well, the house and everything in it – will one day be mine.’
‘You’ll have a long wait though, won’t you? Surely it gets passed to your mum and then when she… erm, dies, then you get it.’
Caitlin shook her head.
‘No, no, silly girl, that’s not how it works. Me and Granny have a secret.’
She leant in closer to me.
‘I feel I have known you long enough now to tell you. Granny and I, we have a special relationship. Just after I was born, she changed her will. She named me as the recipient of everything.’ Caitlin raised her hands and made two half circles in the air to emphasise her point. ‘When Granny goes, it’s all mine.’
I frowned, momentarily. ‘And you’ve managed to keep this a secret from your own mum?’
‘Yes, she plays the dutiful daughter, thinking one day Granny will give her her share.’
‘Buy why? Why is your mum not in the will, her own daughter?’
Caitlin shook her head and looked out towards the clearing. ‘I don’t know,’ she said wistfully. ‘They had a falling out about something years ago. Just after I was born by all accounts. Neither of them speak about it, but I know it happened. It felt like… like Granny finally realised how much she disliked her own daughter once I arrived.’
Caitlin hooted and looked at me to share in the comedy, but all I felt was sadness. I smiled weakly. Caitlin’s expression changed to a serious one. ‘It’s one of those things, that you feel, you know what I mean? All families have their secrets, don’t they? Especially ones like mine.’
‘What does that mean?’ I rested my hand on my neck as I began to imagine dead bodies in the basement.
‘Just that the more money a family has, the more secrets and lies there are. You think this much wealth creates a comfortable quiet life? Well, yes, it does, but behind the scenes, there’s a whole heap of doodoo that no one knows about. Don’t you watch Dynasty?’ Caitlin asked.
I blew out a breath, relieved that Caitlin hadn’t revealed a murder in the family. ‘Is that a soap opera?’ I remembered Mum watching it a few years back.
Caitlin nodded. ‘Money, luxury, all this life, it all comes at a price,’ Caitlin continued. ‘Mama doesn’t know I’ll inherit it all, and do you know what? I don’t want to know why Granny’s cut her out of the will. Do you get me?’
I felt a strange tingling in my tummy as though I had just watched a thrilling TV series. Although Caitlin hadn’t recounted a murder or some great family tragedy, I was starting to get a feeling about the Clemontes, as though there was a lot more to them than met the eye. All this information Caitlin had just given me was not the sort of thing I heard every day. And to think it had all happened and still was happening, right where I lived.
‘Well, surely you’ll split it with her, give her some when you get the house?’ I said.
Caitlin screwed her face up. ‘Have you met my mother? She must have done something pretty terrible to have upset Granny enough to get herself disinherited. Granny is a perfectly lovely old lady.’
‘Still, though, Ava’s your mum,’ I said, barely unable to understand. I love my mum so much; I couldn’t imagine not giving her a share of an inheritance.
‘Well, as I said, Sasha, something happened, and I do not wish to know. But I know it’s pretty big. It’s a feeling you get, as though the house is trying to tell you something.’
I began to think about dead bodies in the basement again.
‘Old houses have a way of releasing things; it always happens in the books I read. Servants are forever overhearing the family’s secrets.’ Caitlin was using her dramatic tone again, and I winced at her use of the term servants. I thought about Mum and Dad and how hard they worked. I supposed someone like Caitlin would see them as servants.
‘The servants lived in the eaves, you see, the part of the roof that overhangs on the outside of the house, but from there you can hear things going on inside the main house – that’s why they call it “eavesdropping”. Then there’s the grates, the fireplaces, some of them lead straight up to other rooms – if you sit at the bottom of one of those, you can hear an entire conversation, clear as day.’
I sat pensively, looking back through the woods towards Saxby. I knew it as an old house, but it had never occurred to me that it was still so alive with so many secrets.
Caitlin stood up and pulled something out of her pocket. Before sitting down again, she leant over and handed it to me.
‘Look, this is called a skeleton key. It opens the door to every room in the house. Granny put it on a skull keyring for me. Do you like it?’
I took the keyring with the key dangling from it and ran my fingers over the blackened eye sockets of the skull, letting my fingertips press into the inde
nts. The key was small but heavy and a dull grey, almost green in colour. There were no serrated edges to it, as you would expect to see on a normal key, and at the top there was an elaborate swirling design.
‘It looks so old. It must be the same age as the house.’ I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
‘Yes, and so are its secrets.’
Caitlin edged closer to me. She rested a hand on my leg and looked deep into my eyes. I felt completely under her spell.
‘Sasha, if you ever overhear anything, about the house or my family, that you think will disturb me, don’t tell me. I just want to enjoy my inheritance and never have to feel the guilt. Do you promise? If you hear any secrets, keep them to yourself. Never tell me. That would make you a most treasured friend in my opinion. More than a friend really. You’re almost like a sister to me.’
My heart swelled when I heard Caitlin’s words. I had always wanted a sister. Caitlin and I would make great sisters. I looked at my friend as I clutched the keyring and key, and I thought about all the places she had told me about, from the eaves to the fire grates in the fireplace, and the places this key could open, and suddenly I wanted to be there, amongst the secrets of the house, to be cocooned within it, where no one would see or hear me, where no one knew I was there absorbing the history from the walls within.
I looked at Caitlin’s hand on my leg, her face so earnest, willing me to promise to her. Promises tied you to someone – they made you invincible. This was the first step on our journey of a true friendship. I would honour her request and that would make me the best friend she could ever wish for.
I made my lips tight to emphasise my words. Then I took her hand in mine, an act that no longer felt novel or alien, and I squeezed it as I looked into her eyes.
‘I swear, Caitlin, the secrets of Saxby will always be safe with me.’
7