“I don’t think we’ll have to buy this baby a thing after these showers.”
“Isn’t that sort of the point?” Jamie says.
We don’t have much longer till the baby comes. Morgan’s thirty-four-week round belly gets in the way of everything. She sits with her swollen feet up and holds the trash bag open so Camryn and Karsen can fill it with the wrapping paper that is scattered all over the floor.
After several trips to the car, Gwen’s dining room is finally empty and you can see the floor. I’m not quite sure how we managed to fit everything into our car. The trunk and back seat are packed and I’m not sure how we’ll get all of this stuff in the baby’s room. Thank God we bought a house with a basement and lots of bedrooms.
“I’m not sure I like this color. Do you think it looks okay?” Morgan asks for the twentieth time.
“It looks fine,” Camryn chimes in. Jamie makes a face at me from the doorway. Twirls his finger by the side of his head and shrugs his shoulders.
“I’m not sure I like it.”
“Are you kidding me. We’ve painted the room three times, Morgan. Each time a different color. Each color had two coats of paint. What do you mean you’re not sure you like it?”
“We don’t know the sex of the baby. I think we should have done it in a cream color, that way we could have decorated it with things once the baby is born.”
Camryn looks at her like she has lost her mind. “The walls are cream, Morgan. What are you talking about?” she says, frustrated. Camryn is as frustrated as I am.
Morgan sits in the glider and crosses her arms across her protruding belly. She kicks her feet up on the ottoman and begins to rock back and forth.
“I’m not quite sure I love it,” she says and pinches her lips together.
“I think if it’s a girl, you will be able to add princess stuff to the room, or if it’s a boy, you can add sports or cars and trucks to it. The cream walls will make it easier to decorate. I think it’s perfect,” Camryn tells Morgan—clearly trying to convince her hormonal best friend that the room is perfect the way it is.
Morgan looks around the room several times. Her eyes bouncing around taking in everything. “I think you’re right. I think once the baby is here, we’ll be able to decorate accordingly. We can even pick out an area rug to put by the baby’s crib.”
“Where are we putting the crib?” I ask Morgan.
“Do you want me to help you assemble the crib while I’m here?” Jamie asks me.
“Yeah. That would be a big help. This way I know the thing won’t collapse when we lay the baby in it. Let me grab some tools from the garage. I’ll be right back. Can you grab the crib from the spare room next to ours?” I ask Jamie.
Jamie and I get the crib assembled in no time. Camryn even put the bedding in. Morgan and I agreed on a cream bedding set with old fashioned blocks on it. On each panel of the bumper is a different lettered block with soft neutral colors. Definitely something we can use for either sex of the baby. We’ll decorate more once the baby comes.
Camryn stands over the railing, staring down into the empty crib.
“Are you nervous about becoming a mom?” she asks Morgan.
Camryn looks lost in thought. She doesn’t notice Jamie staring at her from the doorway. Her hand absently rests on her stomach. Is Camryn thinking about becoming a mother? The look on her face proves to me that she is thinking about it. It makes me wonder if two of our best friends have a little secret they haven’t shared yet.
Morgan rubs her hand across the round bump of her belly, stroking lightly, still rocking in the glider.
“I’m not nervous about being a mom. But I’m scared shitless about the labor. I can’t imagine squeezing a baby the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of an orange,” Morgan laughs nervously.
Camryn glances up to see me staring at her. She smiles and quickly moves her hand from her stomach, placing it on the railing of the crib.
I shake my head and walk over to Morgan. I extend my hand out to help her out of the chair. With her belly being so big, she has trouble getting up from sitting positions.
Morgan looks around and smiles seeing the nursery coming together. Camryn was able to hang the curtains up that match the crib bedding. There aren’t many clothes hanging in the closet. I’m sure we’ll have it filled in no time once the baby arrives.
I grab the box from the crib which is now filled with trash. The baby’s dresser sits on the opposite side of the room. The changing table fits perfectly next to the crib. Everything Morgan and I need to change the baby is neatly in its place on the table.
Morgan’s eyes fill with tears as she looks around the room, taking it all in. “Our baby will be here before we know it. Four weeks. That’s all we have. And everything is simply perfect.”
MORGAN
“First we had each other, then we had you…Now we have everything.”
– Unknown
September
My contractions are fifteen minutes apart, the pain lasting thirty to sixty seconds. I’ve called my doctor and she advised me that I’m not in active labor, but to come to the hospital when the contractions become regular and form a pattern of increasing frequency.
After seven hours of labor pains at home, we make it to the hospital and my contractions are three minutes apart. By the time I am checked in and Lincoln finishes up the paperwork at the nurses’ station, the doctor is standing at the foot of my bed, dressed in her scrubs.
“Morgan, you are dilated to eight centimeters. You’re past the point where we can administer an epidural,” Dr. Maynard explains.
“You have got to be kidding me. Please tell me you are kidding me,” I plead.
“I wish I was kidding. This baby is coming quickly. Hopefully he or she will be making their appearance very shortly.”
My stomach is hooked up to monitors. I can hear our baby’s heartbeat echo through the room. When I have a contraction, the pain is unbearable.
“Lincoln… please make it stop. Please,” I beg.
“Lean up, let me rub your back for you,” he says.
I lean forward, hoping that the pressure from his hands, will give me some needed relief.
After a long painful hour, Dr. Maynard examines me again.
“You’re fully dilated,” Dr. Maynard says, “Let’s get this baby born. I’m going to need you to push.”
The pain is excruciating. I don’t think I can do this. It’s taking every ounce of strength in me to push.
“You got this, baby,” Lincoln whispers in my ear. “Squeeze my hand when you push.” He presses a kiss on my neck.
I nod. I sit up, and the nurse pushes my one leg up and Lincoln holds the other close to my chest. I push my chin down onto my chest. I dig deep for whatever strength I have left. I need to do this for me, for my baby. It’s been a long nine months. I need to see my baby.
“Push,” Dr. Maynard says. Pain sears through my body when I push. There’s such a thing as good pain and bad pain. All of this pain will be worth it in the end.
“The baby’s head is crowning,” my doctor says.
I stop pushing and take a deep breath. “That’s it, baby. You’re almost there. I can see the baby’s head,” Lincoln says excitedly.
“Ready, Morgan. When I get to three, I want you to give me your best push. Push for as long as you can. Then take a deep breath and go right back into the push. One… Two… Three, push, Morgan.”
I continue to squeeze Lincoln’s hand with every push. I give it all I can. I push and hold it, till I can’t hold it any longer. I take a deep breath and push again. I grunt and curses leave my mouth.
“The head’s out, just a few more pushes. You can do it, Morgan. Give me another good push,” Dr. Maynard says.
I groan and push down giving it everything I have. My breathing is heavy and the pressure is unbearable. My baby is stretching me. Within seconds I hear loud cries. I can’t put into words what it feels like to bring my baby into th
is world. Tears fall uncontrollably down my face. I did it. We did it. Our baby is here.
“You have yourselves a little boy,” Dr. Maynard announces.
The nurse lays the baby on my bare chest. I can barely see the full head of blond hair and his big blue eyes through my tears. This is the most amazing moment of my life. I’m a mom. No other moment will ever top this.
Lincoln’s lip press against my forehead. “Morgan, we have a son.” I feel his warm tears as I look up at him with my own tears mirroring his.
“Lincoln, would you like to cut the umbilical cord?” Dr. Maynard asks. Lincoln moves from my side to cut it. The nurses take our son off of my chest to clean him up.
“You did it, baby, I’m so proud of you.” Lincoln kisses my lips softly, “He’s beautiful.”
Lincoln is still crying. Tears fall freely. I cup his face, wiping his tears away gently. “He looks just like his daddy.”
After a few minutes, our baby boy is swaddled tightly in a blanket and on my chest again. The nurse informs us our baby boy tops the scales at nine pounds, fourteen ounces and twenty- two inches long.
Lincoln sits next to me on the bed, touching our son’s pink lips with his index finger. “He has your full lips.”
I laugh, and place a soft kiss on our baby’s head. “That’s about all he got from his mommy. He looks just like you. He’s your twin.”
The baby yawns and blinks widely a few times. He tries to keep his eyes open, but they close once his fist finds its way to his mouth. He begins to suck on his fist, making a sucking sound. It’s the most precious thing ever.
“I think someone may be hungry,” Lincoln says.
“Me and him both,” my lips turn up in a smile.
Our son is my reason for breathing. He is the reason my heart is whole again. He helped Lincoln and me find our way back to each other. This little miracle. Our little angel.
“What should we name him? Did you pick between the names we talked about?” Lincoln asks.
I nod. “You know how we said we would know when we saw him. I think he looks like a Jaxson.”
He glances up at me, “I think the name fits him perfectly.” He leans down and kisses Jaxson’s forehead.
After a few minutes the nurses leave and we’re finally alone with our baby.
“Here, take your son,” I say and hand the baby to him.
He pulls Jaxson to his chest, burying his head against his little blue hat. He kisses Jaxson’s forehead.
I lay my head against the pillow, my eyes struggling to stay open. I’m exhausted. Labor kicked my ass. I don’t know what I need more. Sleep or food.
“Baby, you’ve given me the best gift I could have ever asked for. You gave me the gift of being called a dad,” he says as he stares down at our son, happy tears spilling down his cheeks.
Lincoln leans forward, holding our baby close to his chest. He kisses my lips. “I love you,” he whispers against them.
“I love you, too.”
He sits back and begins rocking our son in his arms. Lincoln can’t stop kissing Jaxson’s forehead and his little fingers and he makes promises to our son, ones that I’m sure he never intends to break. “I promise to give you the best life possible. I will be there to see every milestone in your life. Your first word, your first step. With every beat of my heart, I promise to love you till I take my last breath.”
My heart completely melts with his promises to our son.
“I promise to love you both. Always and forever,” he says to me.
My eyes bounce from Jaxson to Lincoln. I know we were meant to be in this moment. We were meant to go through our loss together to get to where we are today. Our hardest times often lead us to the greatest moments. This right here, seeing Lincoln hold our son, is the greatest moment.
“Always and forever.”
CHRISTIAN
“Sometimes when you least expect it, amazing things can and will happen.”
– Unknown
A warm laugh fills the room. It stops me in my tracks. I turn my eyes which are drawn to her hair that is a rich, glowing shade of auburn. Her thick hair hangs in long graceful curls over her shoulders. Her ivory face has a musk-rose flush over her cheekbones. Her lashes sweep down and are covering the most amazing shade of emerald green I’d ever seen. She’s dressed in tight jeans and a black top that falls off one of her shoulders.
“Do you know her?” I ask Lincoln, who is gathering beers from the cooler behind the bar.
“Who?”
“That girl back there by the pool tables.” I nod my head in her direction.
His stare points in that direction. “Nah, never seen her before. A bunch of doctors and nurses came in. She’s with them.”
“What’s she drinking?”
“Not sure, let me ask.” Lincoln calls out to the other bartender. “Derek, what’s the pretty little redhead drinking in the back by the pool table?”
He looks over to where the group is. “Blue Moon with an orange wedge.”
Lincoln pulls the tap filling the chilled glass with the beer. He places an orange wedge on the rim of the glass and slides it in my direction. “Let me see you work this one, Casanova.”
I look at her intently and grab the glass. “Thanks, bro.” I toss over my shoulder and stride over to her table, nodding at a few people as I move toward her.
She looks up as I approach. I openly study her. She is beautiful. Her emerald green eyes are startling against her fair skin and hair.
I set the pint of Blue Moon on the table near her almost empty one. She doesn’t acknowledge me. She continues talking to the girl standing next to her. The group erupts in a roar of laughter. I scoot a stool over and sit next to her.
I extend my hand, “Hi, my name is Christian.” I point to the pint of beer in front of her. “I got you another.”
Her eyes bounce around to the others sitting at the table. The guy across from her arches his brow and tilts his head to the side watching our exchange.
“Why would you go and do that? I didn’t need another,” she says coldly.
“I saw that you were about finished with that one, so I figured I would be a gentleman and get you another.”
She still hasn’t accepted my hand, so I set it on my lap. It aches to touch her, to brush the piece of hair from her face.
“Thank you, you shouldn’t have. I’m getting ready to head out.”
“Do you have a name?” I ask.
“I do, but I don’t plan on sharing it,” she replies sassily. She has an accent. Could be from Philly, or quite possibly Boston.
“You wanna play?” I nod my head to the pool table.
“I don’t know how.”
“I could teach you.”
“I’m sure you could, but I should be getting home, it’s getting late.”
“Can I get your name?”
“I don’t pick guys up in bars. This is not my scene. I’m only here because a few of my co-workers wanted to go out for a drink after work.”
“I’m not a bar rat. One of my best friends owns the place.”
Her rusty-colored brow rises. “Bar rat. Never heard that one before. It was nice to meet you. Maybe I’ll see you around sometime.”
“This city is huge, what are the chances of me running into you again. Can’t I get your number?” I ask.
“I don’t date.”
“Can I get your name?”
“Like I said, I don’t date. Thanks for the drink, though. That was very kind of you.” She picks up her purse from the table. Taking a deep, unsteady breath, she rises from the table and steps back. She pulls her coat on, and walks toward the door, disappearing into the crowd.
The stool makes a loud screeching nose when I jump from the table quickly to chase after her. I push through the doors and look both ways up and down the street. I see her walking toward the corner.
I chase after her. “Hey,” I call out.
She comes to an abrupt stop, and turns around.
“I don’t mean to come off like a stalker and shit, but I’d love to get your name and number. Maybe we can meet up for drinks or even coffee.”
A wave of apprehension sweeps across her face. Her breath seems to solidify in her throat. She clears it a few times before she speaks. “I’m going to be honest with you. I’ve lost too much in the past year. I’m not looking for a date and I don’t have time for a relationship.”
I look carefully in her eyes, and within a few seconds, they tell the truth of her feelings. Hope appears and just as quickly it flickers away. An unspoken fear shines in her eyes. There’s a story in them.
“I’m simply asking for a cup of coffee.”
I’m usually observant of things, and then sometimes I am completely oblivious to others, but she definitely fears something. She mentioned losing too much over the past year. What did she lose?
She nods her head. “I can handle that.” She extends her hand. “I’m Rory. Nice to meet you.”
I take her hand in mine. Never wanting to let it go. Rory, her name is as beautiful as she is. I’ve never been drawn to someone like this.
THE END
KEEP A LOOK OUT FOR
UNSPOKEN FEARS
COMING SPRING 2017
Fall Into Me by Brantley Gilbert
Shut Up and Dance by Walk the Moon
Where Are U Now by Skrillex & Diplo with Justin Bieber
A Thousand Years by Christina Perri
Levitate by Hadouken!
In the End by Linkin Park
Judas by Lady Gaga (DJ White Shadow Remix)
Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons
Stripped by Shiny Toy Guns
Closer by Nine in Nails
Unspoken Promises (The Unspoken Love Series Book 2) Page 22