by Bea Paige
“You didn’t think to tell me this important piece of information or you didn’t think that I should know? Once again, you’ve kept things from me,” I shout, yanking my hand from his. I glare at Gabe and Mihr. Both look as shocked as I do.
“They didn’t know anything. This is all on me,” Ether says, pleading with me.
“Why do you insist on doing this, Ether? How can I possibly trust you when you keep these important matters from me? She’s my mother. She’s the only mother I’ve got…” My voice chokes on the words. I back away from him, but he steps forward and grabs hold of my arm once again.
“It was foolish. I’m foolish. I didn’t think she would get hurt.”
“My mother or Tillan?” I snap, anger making my words clipped.
“Both.” Ether hangs his head.
“I can’t look at you. I just can’t…” I say, pulling away from him again. This time he lets me go.
“You must believe me. I only ever make these choices with you in mind. I don’t do it to hurt you. Every choice I make is to keep you safe. I do it because…”
“Because what, Ether? What?” I scream, my anger bursting free now.
Ether’s look up, his eyes brimming with emotion. “Because I love you.”
I stare at him, at the absolute truth in his eyes. There’s no longer a wall, it has been smashed to smithereens by his words. Behind him, both Gabe and Mihr draw in a surprised breath.
“You may not believe me, but it’s true. You’ve successfully stolen my heart, Fern. I couldn’t love you any more than I do right now. I’m sorry for breaking your trust. I’m sorry your mother’s in the hands of that monster. I’m sorry Tillan is hurt, but most of all I’m sorry for not saying these words sooner.”
I remain stubbornly steadfast, not willing in this moment to allow his words to soften my anger. Ether’s jaw clenches as he fights with himself.
“I don’t love easily. I have been battling these feelings since the moment I first saw you. I’ve only every protected the ones I love. I’ve hurt so many people in my life. I thought that by keeping things from you, by telling you half-truths, I’d keep you safe, keep you close to me. Only now it would seem I have pushed you away…” His voice catches on the last few words.
“How can I believe you, Ether? How can I trust anything you say to me?” I respond, torn by his words and the disappointment and anger I feel.
My attention is drawn back to Tillan as she enters the room with Noah. Her face is healed, three silver lines drawn across her cheek the only evidence she was harmed.
“He’s telling you the truth, Fern.”
“Don’t do that, Tillan. Don’t support him when you don’t know what he’s kept from me.”
“Ether is a good man. You must remember that above all else. His priority was to stay with you, keep you from harm, even if that meant withholding information. He made the right decision, whether you believe that is true or not.”
I don’t respond immediately, shocked that she’s taking his side. Perhaps that’s what they all do - lie to each other. She begins to repeat herself, thinking because of my deafness I hadn’t understood what she said.
“You’ve no need to say it again. I understood you well enough,” I say, cutting her off. She nods her head sharply. “Ether is your friend, so of course you’re going to support him. But he should have told me about everything,” I grind out.
“I disagree. Ether gave you time to heal, to become strong, to become who you are. Look at you, Fern. Look how powerful you’ve become.”
“But my mother…”
“Is alive. We can help her.”
“I’ve been here so long.”
“Not much time has passed back on Earth since we left with you, only a few hours would have passed,” Gabe reminds me. “If Abanthe is using your mother as bait, he won’t kill her…”
I glance at him, our eyes meet. “Yet… you can say it, Gabe.”
I know what he’s thinking. I can see the footprints form in his mind. Abanthe may not have killed my mother, but that doesn’t mean to say he isn’t going to or hasn’t already harmed her beyond repair.
“We need to leave. Now. I won’t waste any more time.” I attempt to walk towards the door but Mihr stops me.
“No, Fern. Abanthe is powerful, even more so now, given his new form. We shall go.” He rests his hands on my shoulders and squeezes gently. “You are strong, so much stronger than any of us were in the beginning, but you’re not ready to fight, and we are not willing to lose you. I’m not willing to lose you,” he adds.
“Mihr’s right. We shall take out that bastard Abanthe and send a clear message back to Queen Adrielle. We’re done being her slaves. The time has come to stand up and fight,” Gabe says vehemently. He looks from me to Noah. “Are you with us, brother?”
Noah nods his head, before resting his eyes on me. I watch his lips move as the words form.
“I’m ready. Our people are too. They’ve been getting restless ever since Queen Adrielle’s jubilee celebration. The time has come to fight back,” he says, a broad smile lighting his face. It seems inappropriate, given the subject matter. I frown, not understanding the sudden burst of happiness. How can anyone be happy about going up against Queen Adrielle.
“You don’t remember me, but I remember you, Fern,” Noah says, his smile fading to a more tentative one.
“You do?” My eyebrows pull together in confusion.
“At first I wasn’t sure, then when I saw that fight behind your eyes, I knew who you were. You are so alike.”
“Alike?”
“Yes, you are the image of your mother, Celeste.”
“You knew her well?” I ask, a little surprised.
“I knew both your mother and father, Fern. They were very good friends of mine.”
Tillan places a hand on Noah’s arm. “Noah was the person entrusted to get you to safety as a child. Celeste asked him to take care of you. He got you out. He’s the reason you are alive today.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“I’ve never stopped thinking about you, Fern. I’m glad to see you, though I just wish it were under better circumstances…” His gaze trails to my wings and the implication of what having them means.
“Have you…?” he asks.
“Taken a newborn’s life? No, no I haven’t.” Yet. That unspoken word hangs heavy in the air around us.
“Celeste would not have wished this fate for you, for any of us. She did what she thought was right.”
“She was responsible for killing Adrielle’s unborn baby…” I say, feeling sick once more.
Noah approaches me. He tips my chin up so that I can’t avoid his gaze, so I have to understand.
“Your mother was a good woman. She believed in life above all else. It wasn’t a choice she would’ve made easily, Fern. Adrielle was poisonous, she is poisonous. Celeste was trying to save us all.”
“And my father? What of him?”
Noah’s eyes fill with longing, with memories edged in years of sadness. “Eos wasn’t just my clan leader, he was my best friend. I had to watch the man I love change into someone I didn’t recognise because of the spell Queen Adrielle had spun over him. When Celeste told me of her plans, I promised to help her.”
“You knew about the baby?”
“I’m not proud of it, but yes, I did. Celeste had hoped the poison would kill Queen Adrielle and she’d be able to remove the baby shortly afterwards. As you know, it didn’t work out that way. While the Queen delivered her stillborn baby, Celeste sent word to all the wives, knowing they would have to act quickly if they were to save their own children. She knew it would only be a matter of time before Queen Adrielle would work out who was responsible. Celeste asked me to take you through a portal to safety. Of course, I agreed. I left you somewhere safe and returned immediately, hoping I would be back in time to help Celeste.” Noah takes a deep breath, his eyes brimming with silvery tears. “I was too late. I watched as Queen Adr
ielle slaughtered Eos and Celeste. I watched, helpless, as she murdered the other clan leaders and their wives one by one. That same afternoon she cast her spell over us all. We have suffered her wrath ever since.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry? You have nothing to apologise for, but you do need to understand completely who your enemy is. I appreciate your anger at Ether, but this man has protected our people from the Queen’s rage and bitterness too many times to count. Ether, Mihr, Gabe, they are good men. Whether you like it or not, our ability to defeat Adrielle rests on your survival. It rests on the survival of all the missing clan daughters.”
“But I have a right to know what’s happening, especially when it involves the people I care about.”
Noah considers me a moment. “With all the respect I can possibly give to the little girl I hid that day, to the daughter of my dearest friends and to the woman who stands before me now, you do not understand the suffering our people have endured. You do not know the daily fight we all make to stay alive and you certainly have no idea what it’s like to be prisoner to the Queen’s whims. Now is not the time for petty grudges, not with what we’re up against. Forgive Ether, move on. We have bigger issues to contend with.”
The room seems to hold its breath, waiting for my response. I’m not going to lie, his honesty smarts a little, but as much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. Can I honestly say, given the circumstances, that I wouldn’t do the same thing if the situation were reversed?
“Noah, thank you for your honesty. You’ve put everything into perspective. I’d like a moment with my men, if that’s possible?”
“Of course,” he responds, taking Tillan’s arm and leaving the room.
I turn to face the three men I have grown to care about.
“I want you to go and save my mother. I want you to kill that bastard Abanthe, and then I want you to return to me. All of you,” I say, staring at Ether.
“You’ll stay here, you’ll stay safe?” Ether asks.
“I promise, I’ll stay.”
Chapter Twenty-Three
Five days after watching the men I care about leave, I break my promise to them.
Slipping out of Tillan’s house whilst she sleeps peacefully, I take flight and head to the Shadowlands. It only takes a couple of minutes for me to reach the spot we arrived through almost three weeks ago now. I take one last look at Utero, at the floating homes above me and the endless stretch of pink cloud, before walking into the mists.
I’m still afraid of the shadows that inhabit the dense fog, their wispy bodies moving aimlessly about me. Some collide, then disperse the moment they touch one another, only to form once again, never finding solace in another’s touch. Thousands upon thousands of shadows fill the space. I’m almost convinced I can hear their mournful laments, their deaths the saddest song I’ve ever heard.
It takes me longer to traverse through the Shadowlands than it had when Mihr was by my side previously, but eventually a ring of blue glows in the ground and without thinking too much about what I’m about to do, I step into the circle and begin to fall.
My wings snap out automatically the moment I feel the air change. Flying has become as easy as breathing, even though breathing has become harder every day since Ether, Gabe and Mihr left. For days I’ve been going back and forth. One minute ready to leave, the next deciding to stay, to not break my promise. But this morning, when I felt the familiar tug of Ether’s presence within me dim slightly, I decided enough was enough.
The swirling vortex disappears around me, only to be replaced by the dark night and vast green fields of the world I know so well stretching far below. Instinctively, I seem to know which direction to go in and like a homing pigeon, I follow that instinct all the way to the house I grew up in.
I know before my feet have touched the ground that it’s empty.
Pushing open the front door I step into the hallway. The smell is the first thing to hit me. Usually, it’s lavender and violets. Today, it’s the acrid smell of piss and fear.
“Mother,” I call out pointlessly. She isn’t here. I know that, but still I walk through the house, every step I take making me feel sick. I try not to see the blood splattering the walls and the large gashes in the doors only a creature with molten skin could make. If Abanthe can do such damage to solid wood, then… I shake the dark thoughts away, not ready to face the possibility of losing my mother and the men who care about me.
Pushing open the door to the living room, I blanch at the mess it’s in. The coffee table is overturned, all of my mother’s ornaments are smashed. Her armchair is upended, the stuffing spilling out across the blood-soaked floor.
“Mother, Mum, where are you?” I whisper.
From the corner of the room a man steps out. My hand reaches down and pulls Tillan’s knife, that I’d stolen from her kitchen, out of my back pocket. I hold it up, readying myself to fight. My wings snap out behind me ready to take my opponent’s legs from beneath them with one well-placed swipe. Everything Mihr taught me now ready to be put into action. I watch his lips, waiting for him to speak.
“Whatever you’re looking for, it isn’t in here, angel.”
“Who are you?”
The man before me holds his hands palms up. “I’m not someone you need to fear. I’m not your enemy.”
“Where’s my mother?” I demand.
“In answer to your first question, my name is Ezra, I’m here with my brothers Rhain and Devin. Accacia is here too. We heard there was trouble with one of our clan members. His trail brought us to this place, but I’m afraid we’ve arrived too late.”
“Too late?” I say, dropping my hand. I still have my knife clutched in my hand, not quite ready to trust this man, even though his name is familiar and his stance tells me he means me no harm.
“There’s a woman outside…”
I don’t bother to wait until he’s finished his sentence. Instead, I draw back my wings and push past the man who calls himself Ezra and rush out into the garden.
Outside are two more men talking whilst a woman is kneeling before a body surrounded by blood. Too much blood. Her skirt and stockings are covered in it, making the colour of her clothing unrecognisable.
“Mum!” I shout, rushing forward. I push the kneeling woman out of the way so I can get a better look at the body.
It isn’t her. It isn’t my mother.
A cry rips from my throat at the relief I feel, followed shortly by another as I am yanked to my feet by strong arms. A hand circles around my throat and squeezes tightly.
“Let her go, Devin. Can’t you see she’s upset,” the woman says, standing. I watch as she walks towards me, her gaze fixed firmly on the man holding me in his arms.
“Accacia, have some caution. Queen Adrielle’s magic has gone crazy since we left. We cannot trust anyone,” the other man says, stepping by her side. Behind me, the man she calls Devin squeezes my throat tighter, still not willing to let me go.
“We can trust her,” Accacia responds, stepping closer to me. She takes hold of my hand, bringing it up to look at the ring on my finger.
“Let her go.”
Reluctantly, Devin does as she asks, and I can breathe again.
“It’s good to meet you, sister,” she adds with a half-smile, holding up her hand where an almost identical ring sits.
Suddenly, the first line of the prophecy swirls into my thoughts, followed by the strangest feeling in my chest. It’s different to what I feel when I’m with my angels. This feeling is one born of strength, friendship and, overwhelmingly, sisterhood.
Five sisters born beneath the stars, neither bound by blood nor kin…
“You’re Accacia, one of the missing clan daughters?” I respond, realisation dawning on me.
“That’s right, the very same. And you are?” she asks.
“I’m Fern,” I start, spreading my wings out behind me. “Missing clan daughter of Clan Vitae. I’m here to find my angels… and my moth
er.”
The smile that spreads across Accacia’s face is illuminating. She steps forward and pulls me into her arms, holding me close. After a beat, my arms and wings wrap around her, and we hold each other close like long lost relatives finally meeting each other after years of separation. I suppose we are related in a way, by our mothers’ choices, by the curse, by the prophecy. Accacia pulls back and when our eyes meet once more the feeling of strength in my chest multiplies. She squeezes my hand gently.
“Let me introduce you formally to my men, my Dark Knights.”
She turns her face away and opens her mouth, but I’m unable to get a clear view of what she’s saying. Tapping her arm to get her attention back, I explain my predicament.
“I’m deaf, at least I am to you all. I can lip read, but you’ll need to face me when you speak.” I’ve gotten so used to being able to hear my men speak I’d almost forgotten what it’s like to live in silence.
Accacia nods her head in acknowledgement. “This is Rhain,” she says pointing to a tall, dark and handsome man with chin-length hair and a naughty smile.
He steps towards me, holding his hand out to shake.
“Good to meet you. Apologies for the misunderstanding,” he says, with a welcoming smile, very different from the scowling face of the man standing next to him.
I return my gaze to Accacia, waiting to be introduced to the man who had his hands around my throat. “And this is Devin,” she continues.
Devin gives me an apologetic look, his features softening. “Fern, please forgive me. I’m a little… protective.”
I nod my head, acknowledging his apology. I know someone very similar to him. There is darkness in this man as well as light, just like Gabe. My heart squeezes at the thought he is out here somewhere in danger.
Accacia presses her fingers against my arm, drawing my attention back to her. “I’m guessing you’ve already met Ezra?” she asks as the man in my mother’s living room steps out onto the grass.
“Yes, we’ve already had the pleasure,” he says, giving me a guarded smile. He points to the woman lying on the ground with her throat torn out. “Not the woman you’re looking for?”