“What, what, what happened?” I asked the man, as I sat down on the curb and took ahold of my daughter’s lifeless hand.
The man just shook his head. “I don’t know. I was just driving, and she darted out in front of the car. I couldn’t stop. I’m so sorry.”
The ambulance was screeching in the distance, but I knew that it was no use. Abrianna, my beautiful little girl with the angelic blond curls, was gone. I bowed my head, and tried to block out the sound of Rielle tearing into the man.
“You bastard! You killed my daughter! You’re going to pay for this!”
I stood up and held onto her, trying to stop her from physically striking the man. As she struggled and screamed, I said to her, in a loud voice. “He didn’t do this. We did. We did this.”
And that was how I felt. We weren’t paying attention to her. Abrianna was such a sensitive child. And I knew, as sure as anything I had ever known, why she was running into the street. She was trying to get away from Rielle and me screaming at each other. She was trying to get away from the house, and she was probably trying to get to a horse pasture that was down the street from us. I had taken Abrianna there many times, and she always loved it. I knew that was Abrianna’s favorite place to be.
She was probably running to that horse pasture to get away from our fighting.
I didn’t pick her up. I was still hoping, against hope, that I was wrong about Abrianna already being gone. That maybe there was still a chance for her. So, I didn’t pick her up. I knew enough to know that you are never to move an injured child. I just sat there, next to her, stroking her hair gently. I didn’t say anything, but I couldn’t stop my tears.
Rielle, by that time, was just standing there. A frozen statue. She didn’t cry or scream anymore. She barely blinked.
The ambulance finally got there, and they gently loaded Abrianna through the doors. They let me ride in the back, which actually was a bad sign, because if there was any hope at all for her, they probably wouldn’t have let me do this. They worked on her, while I sat there, staring at her, willing her to take a breath.
I silently prayed for the first time in years. I hadn’t prayed since I had lost my sister some 15 years before. After Michelle passed away, in spite of my constant praying for her to get better, I shunned praying and god. I simply felt that it did no good at all, and I was angry. Angry at god, angry at fate.
Just angry.
The paramedics went through the motions with their chest compressions and blood transfusions, but everybody in that ambulance knew. Including myself.
After the funeral, Rielle went back to her cold self. She no longer screamed at me or harangued me. But she didn’t talk to me much, either. There really was nothing much to say.
The worst part was that we didn’t turn to each other. We turned away, more than we ever had before. I needed her to lean on, but she wasn’t there. So, I turned to others. As did she.
Ironically, though, right before we actually got divorced, I thought that we had turned a corner. Our sex life was back on track, and I felt like I loved her again, even if I wasn’t in love with her. But we were never solid, like a real married couple should be. The final straw was when the story about my relationship with Ryan broke, and Rielle discovered the truth about my bisexuality. Not sure how she never knew it before, or suspected it. I mean, she probably did suspect, but was willfully blind about it.
One thing was for sure, though. I closed myself off, emotionally, after Abrianna’s death. I didn’t want to feel that sense of devastation and loss, ever again. It almost broke me. Which was why I couldn’t form any real emotional attachment with a woman.
Until Scotty.
∞
So, while I sat in the back of the limo as it drove towards the Goldman building, I thought about Abrianna. I had to keep my mind off of Scotty, and what was happening to her, if I wanted to keep my wits about me. Because if I really allowed my mind to go there, I thought that I would have gone crazy. And that would have helped nobody.
I drummed my fingers restlessly on the arm rest. Inside, I was going out of my mind. At every red light, I thought that I would get out of the car and run the rest of the way. It would’ve been faster.
Finally, I got to the building. I instructed Charlie to park the car in the Goldman garage, and to pick me up immediately after I called him.
When I got to Nate’s department, I told the receptionist that I was there to see him.
“He’s still in a meeting,” she said.
“Could you please call him and tell him I’m here? Nick O’Hara. I’m here, and I need to speak with him ASAP.”
The receptionist was going to protest, but she saw the look in my eye, and she obliged. After she talked to Nate, she hung up the phone and looked at me. “He will be right out,” she said.
She flipped through a magazine, and her insouciance almost drove me insane. Doesn’t she know what kind of crisis is going on here?
Finally, after what seemed like forever, Nate appeared. I hadn’t talked to him since I dumped Ava, his friend, so, at first, he looked pissed. But, he took one look at my face, and his pissed look immediately disappeared and was replaced by one of concern.
I stood up. “I’m sorry to bother you Nate, but I wouldn’t have come down here if it weren’t important.”
“Sure,” he said. “I have to get back to my meeting, but what do you need?”
“Can we speak privately?”
Nate nodded. “Follow me,” he said.
I followed him back to his enormous office, and he shut the door.
“So, what’s going on?” he asked.
“I, uh, need to know if you know somebody. And, if you don’t know him personally, whether you know somebody who might.”
“Sure,” he said. “What’s his name?”
“Paul Lucas. He’s a hedge fund manager. He used to be a trader.”
“Paul Lucas, Paul Lucas….” Nate looked thoughtful. His hand was on his chin, and he looked down at the floor. “Where have I heard that name?”
I told him who Paul worked for, and his face lit up. “Oh, yes, yes. Of course. Of course. Yeah, I’ve met him a few times at cocktail parties. What do you need to know about him?”
“Hopefully you know something about him. Do you know his ex-wife, Elle?”
“Yeah, I met her a few times. What do you need to know about her?”
“I need to know what her last name is. Is it Lucas or something else? Also, do you happen to remember what firm she works for? She’s a lobbyist in DC, and that’s all that I know.”
“Oh, geez, Nick, I have no idea what her last name is. But I do remember the name of the firm that she works for.”
I perked up. My instinct, in calling Nate, was spot-on. I somehow knew that he would have a good piece of information. I tried to hide my absolute excitement. “You do? What was the name of the firm?”
“It’s Hollister and Kennedy. I’m almost sure of it.”
“How do you remember that?”
“She talked about it the first time I met her. Natalie was with me, and you know how Natalie is about animal rights and that sort of thing. Needless to say, Nat was very taken by Elle.”
I wanted to kiss Nate right then. Because I knew that, even if Elle didn’t work for Hollister and Kennedy anymore, he gave me an excellent first lead to go on. At least I wasn’t entirely looking for a needle in the haystack anymore. “Nate, I can’t thank you enough. You’re a great friend.”
Nate nodded. “You look like hell, buddy, which is the only reason why I’m not busting your chops about Ava. I hope that I helped you.”
“You don’t know how much,” I said. “I owe you.”
“Yeah. Just remember that.”
And, at that, I left the office so that I could catch a flight to DC to see Elle at Hollister and Kennedy.
Chapter 7
Scotty
I was at that…place…for an unknown amount of time, and I managed to escape my own rea
lity the entire time. In spite of the pain that Nick had put me through, he was the person that I thought about, night and day. Because, really, those few days with him were the only truly happy times of my entire life.
I simply blocked out the part where he slept with the evil witch, and imagined that he had never betrayed me in the manner that he did.
I still had no idea, whatsoever, where I was. All that I knew was that I was in a sunny climate, and, considering this was in the middle of January, I could only surmise that the house was situated somewhere tropical.
So, I guess that Mr. Lucas got rich somehow. He was always well-off, but I didn’t think that he was wealthy enough to afford a place like this. Let alone afford the servants who were manning this home. When I was wheeled into this mansion, I saw has vast it was and how sunny. It was like one of those modern homes with walls of windows, and it was two story. Very minimalist décor. There was a tropical swimming pool on the grounds, that apparently was saltwater, and I was able to look out at it while I laid in my bed. On the horizon, there was blue water and a white sandy beach. It was such a juxtaposition – the glorious beauty of my surroundings, and the absolute horror of what was happening inside that gleaming home.
I tried not to think about the reality of the situation. That I might never see Nick again. That this might be my life. That I might be a captive of this evil man forever. Even when my leg healed, Mr. Lucas might find a way to make sure that I never left.
Of course, that didn’t mean that I had to just give up. I had to find a way out of this place, and back to New York, somehow, someway.
Mr. Lucas seemed to read my mind. He was gone, somewhere, most of the day, and, at night, after dinner, it was the same as when I was an adolescent in his home. Mr. Lucas was more brutal than he was before, I guess because I wasn’t a child anymore, and he felt that I could handle it. But he definitely was more sadistic than I remembered him being.
He came to visit me one afternoon. I was laying on the bed, immobile as usual. In addition to the humiliation of being repeatedly raped again, there was also the shame of having Mr. Lucas take care of me. He bathed me and had to help me to the bathroom. I felt like a child again, being so helpless.
“Scotty,” he began. “I know that you’ve been laying in that bed plotting a way to leave after your leg has healed. You can’t think about that. If you try to leave, if you think about leaving, then I will literally handcuff you to this bed.” His smile got devilish. “Actually, come to think of it, that might be fun.”
I just looked at him, my mind a perfect blank. In my mind, I saw Nick standing there. Protecting me. Loving me. Being my person. I didn’t see Mr. Lucas. I couldn’t possibly see Mr. Lucas there. If I did, I think that I literally would’ve gone completely crazy. So, his words didn’t have the impact that they should’ve had under the circumstances.
That seemed to make him angry. “And what do you think about that, Scotty? I’m going to keep you here for the rest of your life. You’re going to be here for my pleasure.”
I still didn’t react. I just stared at him, and I would imagine that my face had a blank expression. I knew that there wasn’t life behind my eyes, as the vibrancy that I have felt in my being had been completely extinguished.
At that, Mr. Lucas took his hand and crashed it against my face. He pulled my hair savagely, jerking my head back in the process. “Listen, you little cunt. You are going to react to what I say. I’m telling you that you are trapped, forever, with me, and all you can do is give me a blank fucking stare? Fuck you.”
I finally just drew a deep breath. I wanted to needle him, so I simply said “Okay. I’ll stay here with you forever.”
At that, he slapped me again, harder this time. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He grabbed my upper arm and twisted it, hard, so that it turned completely red. I felt tears threatening, but I willed them away. I wasn’t going to give this man the satisfaction of crying or showing how much pain I was in. I could be very willful when I wanted to.
Of course, my enraging him was a huge mistake. He hit me with a closed fist on my face, and I could feel blood rushing out of my nose.
That was the final straw. The tears that were threatening the entire time I had been there with him finally were let loose, and I sobbed from a place that was deep inside my soul. I cried for my lost relationship with Nick. I cried for my hopeless situation with Mr. Lucas. I cried for my shattered dreams of being an architect. I cried for my mother and I cried for my lost childhood and adolescence. Every tragedy, every sad moment, was felt at that moment and the tears felt like they would never stop.
Mr. Lucas was watching me, with a huge smile on his face. He was finally satisfied, because he obviously felt that he had broken me.
And I did feel beat down. I did. But he didn’t break me.
I might have felt my emotions right at that moment, but I was broken long before that moment in time.
Chapter 8
Nick
As I hurried to the plane that I had to catch for Dulles Airport, I called Ryan. I knew that Ryan was doing work with lobbyists that handled animal rights issues, so I figured that he might know something about the firm that Elle worked for, Hollister and Kennedy. I had already done some research on it in the limo on the way to the plane, and found out that they were involved with a wide range of issues that affected the environment, and animal rights was one of the things that they did.
I had already arranged for George to cover for my meeting with the Chase clients, telling him that I had a family emergency that I had to attend to. He obliged, of course, and wanted to know if everything was okay.
“Yeah,” I said, being intentionally vague. “But I’ll call you when I know something more.”
George didn’t pry, and I told him that I had no idea when I would be back, but hopefully I would be back soon. That really wasn’t a problem, although partners try to clear absences months in advance, if they were going to take a vacation or what-not. I knew that I had projects that were piling up, but I also knew that I could catch up when I got back.
And one thing I knew for sure – I had to get to Scotty, and soon. Any moment I spent not pursuing the goal of finding out where she was taken was another moment that she would be suffering. I couldn’t take that, imagining what that monster was doing to her.
Ryan picked up on the first ring. “Hey buddy, long time no hear. How are things going?”
“Where do I begin?” And I proceeded to tell him about Scotty and how her rapist had virtually abducted her from the hospital, giving the ruse that he was taking her to a private facility to convalesce. Then I told him about I was my way to Washington, DC to hopefully find the monster’s ex-wife.
“Oh, shit,” Ryan said. “Shit.” Then he got really quiet. Something similar had happened to him, with Rochelle, all those years ago, so I would imagine that was what he was thinking about during the silence.
Finally, he recovered. “Buddy, that’s awful to hear. What can I do to help you?”
I felt the feeling of fear welling up in my throat, and I found that I couldn’t talk. I opened my mouth, and, to my surprise, nothing but a sob came out. Come on, Nick. You can’t crack up now. You have to be strong.
“Oh, god,” he said. “I’ll meet you at Dulles.”
I said nothing, but continued to cry. I took several deep breaths to compose myself, as I saw the La Guardia airport looming ahead. “Thanks” was all that I managed to croak out.
“Sure, buddy. Anything you need. I’ll help you find this Elle person so that hopefully you will get the information you need to find this pervert.”
I nodded my head. “Listen, I have to go. I just arrived at La Guardia. I’ll see you in DC?”
“Yeah,” he said. “You got it. I’ll probably be there before you. At any rate, let’s meet at Moe’s and we can grab a drink and talk about our strategy for getting information from this woman. It might not be as easy as you might think.”
“I know. Thi
ngs are complicated by the fact that he apparently has many houses all over the world. I might end up flying to Italy and Greece and Saint Croix. Hopefully those are the only homes he has.”
“Right. Maybe we can glean enough from this woman to pinpoint where he might have taken her.”
“I hope you’re right. God, I hope you’re right. Listen, the limo just pulled up to the curb. I’ll see you in DC.”
“Yeah, see you there.”
“Oh, and Ryan?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“Anytime, buddy. Anytime.”
Chapter 9
Scotty
I finally stopped crying after several hours. I hated my tears, because they were making Mr. Lucas so happy. He sat there and smiled at me while I cried, and then he whipped out his penis and started stroking it. I turned my head away, but he savagely positioned my eyes so that I could see everything that he was doing.
“Go on and cry, Scotty. Go on. God, seeing your pain is just such ecstasy for me.”
I tried to cut off my tears. I hated that I was giving him so much pleasure. But it was no use. The dam had been broken, and the torrent could not be stopped. And, of course, the more I cried, the more he got turned-on.
“Yeah, oh yeah,” he said. Then he got into the bed with me and yanked down my pajama bottoms and underwear. “God, you turn me on, especially when you’re in emotional pain,” he said as he jammed himself into me. I tried to struggle some, but, as usual, it was no use. I couldn’t ever fight back, even when I wasn’t incapacitated. That was the problem with being a buck-fifteen on a good day. You could never defend yourself against a big man, and Mr. Lucas was definitely that.
I started to hiccough, and I took several deep breaths. I was determined to go back into my emotional shell. I had to retreat. So, I found myself calming down as I accessed some of my favorite memories of my times with Nick. I imagined myself on Christmas Day, feeling like I had everything that I could have ever wanted. I saw Nick giving me those beautiful diamonds, and I felt his warm skin against my own. I heard his baritone and rich voice, and I smelled his cologne. I tasted the crème brulée and the Osso Bucco that he so lovingly made for me on Christmas Eve.
Saving Scotty Page 4