“She sounds impressive.” I feel inadequate in my response, but what the hell am I supposed to say? If Max hadn’t just said he was going to propose to this woman, I would already know from that speech alone. Who has that much to say about a girlfriend? Usually, he would have told me a quick, condensed version of how they met, like “we met at a club,” and then he would simply tell me if she was hot or not. That’s it. This is not a Max I have met before.
“You know, usually at this point, I’d be asking if this guy has a brother, but…” Thea winks at me while I do my best to ignore her.
“Where is she tonight?”
“She’s away on business. She works for an advertising company. She usually travels one week out of every month.”
I nod, taking a sip of my beer.
“So, what made you come tonight?” Max asks, his anger less present now.
“What do you mean? Mom asked, and I came.” I shrug.
“Mom’s asked you a bunch of times to come over for dinner. Half the time, you don’t bother to even return her calls.”
“I’m not that bad. I just get stuck in my cases is all.” I know I sound defensive, but it’s pointless. Max knows the truth, and so do I. I’m a shitty brother and son.
“Does that mean you’re not working a case now, then?”
“I am, and it’s going fucking terrible,” I complain, my eyes straying to where Thea is watching us eagerly.
“You got that serial killer one? Abby has been freaking out about it. Hell, even I have. How many more women is that fucker going to kill before he’s caught?” Max’s fingers whiten around his beer bottle as he grips it tightly.
“The F.B.I. have that one. I’m working a single homicide, but my leads have almost entirely dried up.”
“Then what made you agree to dinner? Was it the woman who is not your girlfriend?”
I narrow my eyes at Max. It’s bad enough I have to remind myself not to be attracted to Thea, but I cannot handle my family continually bringing her up and making inaccurate assumptions. What is more frustrating is that I wouldn’t have agreed to come tonight if it hadn’t been for her, which sort of makes Max’s guess correct.
“I just realized it had been a while.” I shrug, averting my eyes from Max, but he sees through me. He always could tell when I am lying.
“Are you actually thinking about settling down, too?” For some reason, there is hope in Max’s eyes. Why? What would it matter to him if I did want to settle down?
“No. Listen, Thea is—” Shit, I said her name!
“Thea? So, Grandma was right?”
“What do you mean?”
“She said you visited her the other day and brought a woman around with you. She called her Thea and said she liked her.”
“Aw, that is so sweet!” Thea gushes next to me.
“She was mistaken.”
“Aiden, I haven’t felt like we’re brothers for a long time, because you always shut me out. You only care about the cases you work, and you’ve ignored your family for years now. If you want that to change, you can’t continue to shut me out. I’m not going to care forever, and I won’t be here waiting when you realize what an asshole you’ve been. If you want a chance to change that, if you want to meet Abby and be part of our kids’ lives when that happens, then don’t fucking lie to me.”
My mouth dries at his words, and I feel my heart beating furiously in my chest. “Thea isn’t long term. She’s leaving, and nothing I say or do will change that. We’re not fucking, and we never will. She’s a friend who I’ve been spending some time with, but it won’t last. That is all there is about it.” I hate how dejected I sound. Can Thea hear that in my voice? What does she think of what I just said?
“Are you sure you can’t change her mind? Or maybe you can go with her when she leaves. They need cops everywhere, and maybe you will be happier in a new place.”
“I don’t see her that way. She’s just a friend.”
I consider what my meet story with Thea is. The first time I saw her was as a ghost, and I wondered if I had gone completely insane. That day is not a happy memory. Unfortunately, I don’t think I will ever forget seeing her lifeless body lying on her bed. That is a nightmare burned into my brain. Not quite as moving or happy as Max’s story.
“Okay, I’ll drop it.”
“Are you boys going to yap all night, or do you want some dinner?” Mom pops her head around the corner.
We make our way into the dining area to eat, and I’m surprised by how easily and quickly the meal goes. I remember Mom being overbearing along with her clear disdain for my job. The danger I put myself in was always evident to me in everything she said to me. However, I don’t sense any of it now. I wonder if she has changed or if my long hiatus from seeing her has made her too afraid to speak her mind.
After a filling meal, we eat Thea’s chocolate cake and some lemon tart things, and I know she is delighted by all the compliments. I promise to pass it all along to her, but as I see her bright smile, I feel something strange from their praise. I feel proud of her, happy she is smiling, and grateful I came here with her.
How different would things be if Thea were alive? If she was able to interact with my family, if I could introduce her to them, and she could be part of this?
As much as a secret part of me wishes that could be the case, I also know that, if I had met Thea without her being part of my latest investigation, I wouldn’t have given her the chance to become a friend to me. I wouldn’t have let her talk me into anything, and I would never have invited her to meet my family.
So much of my life is my work. I wake thinking about it, work through until late at night, and then all I am left with is the few hours I allow myself to sleep. While that isn’t healthy, I have been willing to make the sacrifice because I have never wanted anything else. Now, I think maybe I do, or at least, I could if I allowed myself to want it. Maybe Max has the right idea, and I should think about doing the same.
But why do I keep seeing Thea as the one I want to do more with outside of work? She’s not going to be here permanently, and even if she is able to stay, the life we could share together isn’t one that can go anywhere. Not when she is invisible to everyone else.
I stare at her over Grandma’s shoulder, watching as her smile slowly dissolves, and she focuses her attention on the photos hanging on the wall. As much as she has been showing Max interest, I see her spending more time looking over my photos than his. For some crazy reason, that makes me feel good.
I lose myself watching her, not noticing until it is too late that Grandma has been staring at me. She gives me a sad smile, and I worry she realizes I have begun to have feelings for Thea.
I wish I didn’t see her pity. I wish we both didn’t know there will never be a happy ending for Thea and me. We have no future, and there is no way this can work, right?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Thea
I quietly laugh, looking over at a photo of Aiden as a baby, sitting in a high chair with food smothered over his hands and face. He has a mischievous grin and wide, happy eyes. I’m not sure I have seen Aiden laugh. Obviously, working my murder investigation doesn’t leave many happy moments, but since I have been stuck to Aiden’s side, he hasn’t done much of anything for himself. Tonight is the first non-work social event he has attended, and even getting him to agree to this was difficult. It’s obvious there is a rift here.
I understand why his grandma wanted to see Aiden come here tonight. He’s missing out on so much of his brother’s life. As someone who can no longer talk to Flynn or be a part of his life, I am truly saddened by this.
I know some might argue he’s only putting in so much effort on my case because I am here. When someone is looking over your shoulder and you feel judged, there is no doubt you would try a lot harder. Regardless, I know deep down this is what Aiden is like. Seeing how understaffed the police are and how many cases they have, it is sad how much they ask from their women and men. It is t
oo much. And Aiden gives his time freely. By doing so, he forfeits any type of life outside of his work, though.
Despite the fact that the thought makes me feel uneasy and annoyingly jealous, I wonder about why he doesn’t have a girlfriend. I have seen enough of Aiden to know he is a good man, and he is definitely not hard on the eyes. Why doesn’t he have someone in his life? Is it that he has been hurt in the past and is wary to jump back into a relationship? Perhaps his father cheating on his mother and abandoning his family has played a large part in how Aiden feels about relationships now. Or is he merely too busy to let himself meet someone?
I asked to come back here because I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving Flynn and because I wanted to know why this happened to me, who murdered me. I wanted to see the person put away for what he did. However, now I wonder if there is another explanation. Maybe there is a reason Aiden is the one who can see me. Maybe he needs to be shaken up, needs to realize there is more to life, and if he is not careful, he is going to miss out on it all.
I feel determined as I turn back around, watching as the tension slowly eases out of this family while they become more comfortable around each other.
When the meal is finished, I nudge Aiden towards the kitchen where he and Max wash the dishes. I follow the boys, interested to see them interact again.
“You want to get a drink tomorrow night?” Max asks, his voice sounding a little nervous.
“I can’t tomorrow.” Aiden tells him hesitantly.
“Right. Let me guess, work.” Max shakes his head, his anger drowning out any nerves from before.
“I told my murder victim’s brother I would check in on him. I saw him yesterday, and he wasn’t handling things too well. I was going to help him figure out the funeral stuff tomorrow night.”
Max freezes. When he finally turns to stare at Aiden, his mouth is hanging open.
“What?” Aiden turns his puzzled gaze to me before quickly staring at Max again.
“You do realize that isn’t part of your job, right?”
“The kid has no one else. His sister just died, his parents are dead, and his friends won’t even come see him to make sure he’s okay. I can’t just leave him alone.”
“You know, I remember you being obsessed on your cases, working overtime and doing whatever it takes to catch whoever the fuck you were chasing, but you never took a second look at the families unless you thought they were a suspect.”
“Your point?”
“Why are you giving this brother different treatment?”
Aiden still appears perplexed by Max’s question. “You said it yourself, we haven’t spoken since Christmas. How do you know I don’t always do this shit now?”
“Because there is no fucking way you’d agree to help plan a funeral. What is going on?”
“It’s like I said, I felt sorry for the kid.”
“And that’s it? There isn’t any other reason?”
“I’m not getting any closer to solving his sister’s murder, Max. I might not solve it. How can I leave him to deal with all this shit alone, while her fucking murderer is roaming free?”
“It’s not your fault if you can’t solve the case. Some cases take time or are just impossible. Besides, you would never put in less than a hundred percent. If you can’t solve it, then no one can.”
“It doesn’t change the fact that I can’t give either of them justice,” Aiden complains, his gaze obviously now avoiding my stare.
“How long have you had this case for?”
“I got it last Monday.”
“Then you’re being way too hard on yourself. You used to tell me cases take time, and you can’t solve a murder in an hour like they do on TV.”
“This has been a lot longer than an hour, Max.”
“But it’s still not much time. You still have time to figure this out.”
“I don’t; the captain has been riding my ass. He’s going to take me off the case. He gave me this weekend to find a lead, and I have nothing.”
“Maybe there will be no murders tomorrow, and you’ll get a little longer,” Max says, sounding hopeful, although we all know that is not going to happen. We don’t live in a world where murderers take a day off, which is why Aiden and his fellow officers are so overworked.
“Most of the detectives have multiple cases from the backlog. If there isn’t a new case to take, he’ll put me on an older one that still has viable leads.”
“You know, hearing this, I’m kind of surprised you even came out tonight. Usually, you’re married to your work, and with the fact that you’re so under pressure on a case, I never would have thought you’d give up time for us.”
“I probably wouldn’t have, but Thea…” Aiden trails off, wincing at the use of my name again.
“The same woman who made the cakes for us? You mean she was actually able to make you give up working for a few hours to see us? Are you sure there isn’t a way for you guys to work whatever is wrong out? She sounds like a keeper,” Max jokes, but I think he’s serious, too.
I’m not sure whether I should feel amusement at how much his family appears to like me, even though they have never met me or heartbroken because maybe this is something that could have happened if the circumstances were different.
“It will never work.”
“Is she married? You said she’s leaving, but why can’t you go with her? Why can’t she stay?”
“Just drop it, Max. It’s not going to happen.”
“Can Abby and I at least meet her?”
“No. She is leaving soon, and she doesn’t have time.” Aiden sounds dismissive.
I watch Max’s eyes narrow in anger. “Seriously, Aiden, I’m fucking giving you a chance here. You cut us all out of your life, and by doing so, you lost the right to be in ours. One day, hopefully soon, Abby and I will get married, and a few years ago, you would have been my first choice for best man. Now, I’m not even sure if I should bother to invite you. We’re going to have kids one day. They can either have their uncle in their life, or you can choose your work and stay the fuck out of our lives forever,” Max thunders, his rage striking back up at a frightening pace.
“Calm the hell down, Max. All I said was that you couldn’t meet Thea. I never said no to meeting Abby. I’m happy you’ve found someone who makes you happy. I want the best for you. As soon as things have calmed down, I’ll make time for that drink.”
“Yeah, right. I’ve heard that one before. Don’t even bother.” Max storms away.
I watch Aiden’s shoulders drop, and he stares at the ground as his chin rests on his chest, looking tense. It takes him several minutes before he continues washing the dishes.
I don’t know what to say to him. Did I make the wrong decision pushing him into coming here today? No. Listening to the fight that just happened, I know I didn’t. Aiden shouldn’t lose his family. He needs to realize there is life outside of his job, and he needs to realize it before he loses everyone.
***
The ride home is quiet, making me feel uneasy. Several times, I open my mouth only to close it. I’m not sure I want to be the first to break the silence, not before I know what type of mood Aiden is in.
“Just spit it out, Thea,” he snaps without his eyes leaving the road.
“Spit what out?” I ask, hoping he will be the first to talk about what happened tonight.
“I know you’ve been dying to say something since we left, so just get it out already.”
“I don’t know what you—”
“You want to tell me Max is right, and I’m a shitty brother, a shitty son, and I don’t deserve them, right?”
“I wasn’t going to say—”
“Well, you can add shitty detective to your list, too, because I’m probably not going to be able to solve your case, and you’re going to be stuck here with me forever.”
“I don’t think you’re a shitty detective. Aiden, you can only work with what evidence you have, and you’ve tried your hardes
t. Your brother is right about what he said. If you can’t solve this, then no one can.”
When Aiden remains silent, I hope he is taking in my words. I feel awful that he’s putting himself under so much pressure for my case. As much as I want this solved, I understand Aiden isn’t Superman. He can’t find clues that aren’t there, and unfortunately, my killer was too careful. I also make an awful victim. No enemies, no memory of the murder, and no idea who could have hurt me.
“What about the rest of what Max said? Do you agree with him?” Aiden sounds nervous and unsure. I get the feeling my answer will be important to him.
“I don’t know your situation well enough to judge that. But he wasn’t saying he didn’t want you in his life. He was saying he felt like you didn’t want him in yours. You can make him realize he’s wrong. You just have to keep trying.”
“He’s right, though. I don’t have time for him. The cases I work on—not just yours—take up all of my time. I don’t feel right taking time off while the cases remain unsolved.”
“Maybe, if you got a decent amount of time off between cases, and they didn’t take so long, then you could justify the extra time you put into them. But you don’t get any downtime. You said it yourself. Tomorrow, you’re probably going to get put on a new case, and you haven’t had any time for yourself. You’re going to burn yourself out. You need to take a few nights off. Maybe a clear head will help your cases.”
“You make it sound simple, but it’s not—”
“It is. Tomorrow, you’re going to see Flynn, and I appreciate that, but maybe the next night you can see your brother and have dinner. He said his fiancée is out of town on business, so he might like the company. You could invite him over for dinner, and I could cook.”
“Oh, yeah, and how would I explain to Max a ghost cooked us dinner?”
Haunted Love Page 17