He stays for a while, bringing everyone coffee when no one appears interested in leaving the room. Eventually, he says goodbye, receiving another big hug from Aiden’s grandma and a warm shake of hands with Max.
Before he releases, Flynn’s hand, Max calls him threesome, which catches Flynn off-guard, before he mutters back “Whatever, webbed toes.”
They both smile at each other, a new sense of history there, before he leaves.
Then the waiting continues.
I stare down at myself, still mostly naked. I have never been overly comfortable with my body, not in the way of going out in public with barely anything on. Even though I’m merely a ghost and invisible to everyone, I normally would still feel uncomfortable to be in such a state, but I have barely noticed. I feel nothing in the form of embarrassment or mortification. I only feel worry and the cold. The chill inside me hasn’t eased, making me fear it won’t until I hear Aiden’s voice.
I spend every waking moment praying to whoever is listening that Aiden will make it through this. It isn’t until the next day that I do finally hear his voice, though.
I’m sitting on the ground by the foot of his bed, my back against the cold wall and my chin leaning against my chest. I’m exhausted, having not slept properly since before our run in with the monster. As a result, when he first says my name, I fear I’m only dreaming until Max and his mother both react to the words, racing to Aiden’s side.
He mumbles my name again, sounding a little stronger this time. I watch his grandma glance around the room, undoubtedly looking for me, though I am invisible to her.
From this angle, Aiden can’t see me, and I don’t know whether I should stand or not.
He’s better off without me. The only thing I have caused is for him to question his own sanity, pressure to solve my case, and for him to nearly die.
Why haven’t I left yet? I thought I would be here as a ghost until my case was solved. There might never be a jail sentence for the monster that killed me, but he is hopefully burning in hell right now. That suits me just fine, too. He can’t hurt anyone else again. So what am I here for now?
With Flynn doing better, I know he will get through this. He has friends in Aiden and Max now, and I know Aiden will keep his promise to look out for him.
“Thea?” Aiden sounds even stronger, and from his gasp of pain and Max’s reprimand to stay lying down, I imagine he is trying to sit up.
“Hey, man, it’s okay. You’re at Centinela Hospital. You were shot and nearly died. Take it easy,” Max chides.
“Is she still here?”
“Is who here?” Max sounds confused.
I need to stand up so Aiden can see me and stop confusing his family, but my feet won’t move. My legs are stuck as tears fall down my face in relief.
“Max couldn’t find your girlfriend’s number on your phone, and none of your colleagues knew who Thea was,” Aiden’s mother soothes, her voice calm and quiet.
“Yeah, turns out you have, like, zero friends. No one knows shit about your personal life. What is her number? Her last name? I’ll find her and bring her here,” Max promises.
Oh, and I ache for that. Why couldn’t it be that simple?
“She’s gone,” he says sadly, and that’s when I can’t take it anymore.
I finally stand, watching as his gaze catches mine. He sighs in relief, and the beeping immediately quiets.
“Maybe not so gone,” his grandma mumbles, a bright smile coming to her lips. “We should leave Aiden alone for a moment, give him time to process what has happened,” she suggests, receiving looks of shock from the others.
“What? But he only just woke up!” Max protests.
“I feel faint. You should take me to a doctor immediately!” his grandma states, her knees wobbling.
Both Max and Abby rush forward, catching her, and she insists Aiden’s mom comes, too. If it wasn’t for the wink I see her give Aiden on her way out, I might have been taken in by her surprisingly good acting.
“Why are you almost naked? You’re really still here?” Aiden holds out his arm, which shakes from the effort.
I step forward, grabbing his hand. “I took my clothes off to try to stop the bleeding, and I haven’t been able to get more. Yes, I’m still here, but I don’t know why.” I sound monotone.
He tugs on me; only weakly, but I don’t resist. Once he’s moved me where he wants me, he lets go of my hand to pat the empty spot on his bed next to him.
“You need rest, and I don’t want to jar any wires or whatever,” I tell him, sitting on the edge of the bed, reaching out to take his hand in both of mine.
“You’re cold.” He sounds worried.
I hate that, despite recovering from almost dying, he is worrying about me.
“I feel fine; I don’t feel the cold at all. I probably just need to put some more clothes on.”
“I think I like you like this,” Aiden weakly jokes.
“Well, when you make it home, fit and healthy again, I promise to wear nothing more than this.”
“How about you keep that promise, but make it shorter. End it after the word nothing.”
I snort at his outrageous suggestion, feeling relieved that he is in a good enough mood to make a joke.
“Sure, but I could add a stipulation that we must shower at least three times a day,” I propose, watching as he first laughs, and then grabs his chest in pain.
“Are you okay?” I push away from the bed, afraid I have leaned on him and hurt him.
“I can’t believe you’re making me laugh and trying to get me hard in a hospital bed!” he accuses me.
“I’m not trying to arouse you!” I say in outrage.
“Just know, without you even trying to, you’re doing a pretty good job.”
“I’m sorry!” Although I feel awful, his hand reaches out and grabs me, tugging me back to him.
“Don’t be. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m just so relieved you’re still here. I thought, after what happened … Well, I figured you’d be gone by now.”
“So did I. I don’t know why I’m still here.”
“Maybe you’re here for good. Maybe you don’t have to leave me.” He sounds hopeful.
“I don’t know, maybe. I hope so. God, I’ve never been so scared before in my life. I thought I was going to lose you.” I sob, forgetting about being gentle with him and laying my head against his chest, sobbing into his hospital gown.
“It’s okay. I made it through. I’m not going anywhere.” He softly strokes my hair, his hand lingering over my back briefly before he moves back to the top of my head again.
“I want you to quit your job and find one where you can work in a bubble,” I tell him seriously, feeling the laugh vibrating through his chest under me, knowing it will be accompanied with a wince that I can’t see from this angle.
“I don’t think there is much work going for bubble people.”
“I don’t care. You’ll make it work. Being a detective is far too dangerous.”
“But I love my job, and I love you, Thea.”
I hold my breath. I’m afraid, if I breathe, the moment will pass, and I will realize I simply imagined his words.
“Thea, did you hear me?”
“You said you loved your job.”
“Yes, and then I said something else.”
“You said … You love me? Even after everything that happened to you, after everything I put you through?”
“Pretty sure I put myself through most of it. It was stupid to go investigate in that area alone. I should have known better. After the big bust of Gerald Rumple’s graveyard, I could have easily grabbed a guy to go with me. It’s the one time the captain would have never said no to me. I’m only alive because you were with me. I’d have never gotten my phone and never been able to call for help without you.”
“Then you have to promise me never to take a chance like that ever again. You have to be careful from now on.”
“I prom
ise.”
We then lie contently in each other arms. After days on edge, I finally feel myself relaxing a little. Maybe everything is going to be okay.
“Do you want to talk about what that bastard said, about what he insinuated about your parents?”
“No,” I cry, feeling fresh tears. Other than my fear playing over and over in my mind for Aiden, the only time I have felt a break from that was to replay that monster’s words in my mind. Did his father really kill my parents?
“Thea, you shouldn’t keep it in.”
“Can you promise not to say anything to Flynn? He’s already going through so much, and we buried our parents a long time ago. There is no reason to bring it up to him. He is finally doing better. He came to see you yesterday, and I think he’s starting to heal. If you tell him about our parents, he’ll spiral again. It doesn’t change anything, so please don’t tell him.”
“I’m not sure it’s right to keep something like that a secret, Thea.”
“Then promise me to hold off on telling him. Wait until he’s ready. He had a nice moment with your grandma and with Max, too. If you’re serious about keeping an eye on him, even after I’m gone, then at least wait for him to feel comfortable with you guys. Wait until he knows you’ll be there for him before you tell him. He won’t lose it if you guys will be there for him.”
Before Aiden can make his promise to me, Max storms into the room with Abby close behind.
“We should get Grandma committed. She just made the biggest fuss out there. She pulled three doctors to help her, and then admitted she just had a bit of wind. Like, what the hell!” Max runs his hands through his hair, leaving it sticking up, while Abby tries to hide her laugh behind her hand.
“It’s not funny, Abs. That was embarrassing!” he moans, dumping himself heavily into the chair he vacated earlier.
“Oh, come on, it was a little funny.” She laughs harder then, and Max rolls his eyes at her, looking at Aiden.
“It wasn’t funny, man.”
Aiden joins in laughing with Abby, holding his stomach as he does and cringing. “Actually, it sounds fucking hilarious.”
“No swearing in here,” Aiden’s grandma reprimands, moving over to Aiden and giving him a loud smooch on his cheek, winking at him before she leans away.
“Could you not have just farted in here without alerting the entire hospital?” Max complains.
“Don’t be so crass. I had a scare last week, and I’ve been worried sick for poor Aiden. Excuse me for being cautious.”
Max immediately appears chastised, his eyes staring at her apologetically. “You’re right. Sorry, Grandma.”
“Apology accepted. Now let’s lay some love on our boy before he falls asleep on us again.”
With that concluded, I watch as his grandma, Max, his mom, and Abby all talk over one another, each conveying their love and relief at seeing Aiden awake.
He practically glows under their attention, without once releasing my hand. His eyes constantly land on me, his smile growing wider each time.
His grandma is right; it’s obvious he’s in love.
What’s more, every time he stares at me, it solidifies my own love for him.
***
It takes three weeks of recovery in the hospital before Aiden is allowed to go home, where Max and Abby move in since Max promised not to let their mother be the one to stay with him. His reasoning being that she would probably never leave.
After a further four weeks of mostly bed rest, with minimal activity, Aiden is being driven mad. I do my best to distract him, and wow, do we have some incredible times together, even without the shower. However, there is no hiding the fact that he hasn’t left the house in weeks.
With Max and Abby in the house, I find myself doing less and less. I don’t want to do anything suspicious, and I begin to feel a little weird being naked so often around Aiden’s family.
When Flynn stops by, I put my foot down and am able to wear some sweatpants and a T-shirt. Although, no underwear, per Aiden’s amended rule.
I love watching the boys interact. With every visit, I notice the bond between them all growing stronger. Flynn appears more comfortable around them, and since Aiden has been home, there has been a family dinner at his house every Sunday. Flynn has been invited to and attended all four. It’s a relief to watch him fitting in somewhere new.
He mentioned dating a girl to Aiden just last night, so I am ecstatic to know he is going to be okay. He’s engaging with the world and not using any bad habits to deal with his loss.
However, as soon as Max and Abby move back home, I realize something is wrong.
I find it hard to touch things, and soon, I can’t even manage to cook breakfast. The chill that was with me at the hospital is staying, making me understand that my time is ending.
Aiden is stubborn and refuses to believe it, though. I can’t blame him for that; I want it to not be true, as well. However, neither of our denial changes that it is happening and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Therefore, we spend every waking second together, every sleeping second wrapped in each other’s arms.
I know I shouldn’t feel angry, that we had a longer time together than most people get, that I was lucky to have met him at all, given that I died before we got the chance. Every second we have had together has been borrowed time, so we have no right to feel cheated.
But I do feel cheated.
No matter how much time we have together, it will never be enough.
After one night, when I black out, feeling much like I did when I first became a ghost and would often lose time, I know my time is nearly over.
While I’m able, I grab a pen and write Flynn a letter. I write it like I’m planning on going away for the summer and am only saying goodbye for now. I tell him how proud I am, how much I love him, and I only wish him happiness in life. I tell him to follow his heart, and while I’m away, I will think of him every day.
I’m in tears by the end of the one page letter that has taken me hours to write since I kept losing my grip on the pen. However, I ignore my frustration and grab a new page, addressing this one to Aiden. I’m able to be more truthful in this letter since he knows when I am really writing this, and I am a blubbering mess by the end.
I hide the letter away in his desk drawer, knowing he will find it eventually and leave Flynn’s sitting on his keyboard. I want him to give Flynn his soon. He can say he found it among my things, which will be an easy lie because he and Max are going to help Flynn go through my things next weekend.
“What are you doing up?” Aiden asks from behind me, his arms wrapping around me as I stand before him.
“I just wrote a letter to Flynn. I’m hoping you could give it to him for me. I made it sound like I wrote it before I died.”
“Of course.” He sounds wary, his grip tightening around me.
“You can read it if you want, just to check it over to make sure it sounds okay.”
“I’m sure it does. Are you up for a trip today?”
“A trip? Where? Are you sure you’re up for an outing?” I worry, aware that Aiden has trouble keeping his breath. After a gunshot that punctured one lung, he hasn’t been quite the same yet. When he has properly healed, he’ll begin physiotherapy then be back to his usual strength before long. Of course, I have done my best to talk him into a job inside a bubble, but it still has not worked.
“Just a day trip. It’s a surprise.”
“It’s nothing strenuous is it? You know, if you hurt yourself, there will be nothing stopping your mother from moving in with you, and that includes Max,” I threaten.
“I know; therefore, you can rest easy knowing what we will be doing will be more relaxing than anything, right up there with bed rest.”
I somehow doubt that, but I have to admit leaving the house does sound like an amazing idea.
“Fine, I’m up for it if you are.”
“Great, let me pack us a lunch, and then we’ll go.”
I feel instantly bad that I can’t help him. Before, I would have packed us lunch, made him a filling breakfast, and my mind would already be on what I could cook him for dinner. Instead, Aiden has been cooking for himself. I have been able to teach him a little on certain meals, watching over him and giving him pointers as he goes, but it’s not the same. I want to take care of him, but I can’t.
The reason I can’t is on both of our minds, too.
The drive to wherever Aiden is taking us is quiet. I feel unbelievably tired. Even though I have missed being outside—wished to see something other than the inside of Aiden’s house for weeks—I can’t seem to keep my eyes open. It could have something to do with the fact that Aiden can’t keep his hands off me through the night, or is it that I can’t keep my hands off him?
The one thing that hasn’t changed since not being able to touch objects often is that I can still touch Aiden. I still feel him and shudder at the thought that one day that might change.
The farther west we drive, I begin to have an idea of where Aiden is taking us. When I smell the ocean air, I feel more rejuvenated and awake than I have for the entire drive.
“You’re taking me to the ocean?” I gasp, leaning into my window as though I might be able to get a better view of the unseen water.
“You said you loved water, so I thought we could have a picnic along the beach.”
“That is a wonderful idea.” I drag my eyes away from the window, seeing the smug look over Aiden’s face. He knows he just got major brownie points with me. “Thank you,” I tell him honestly, waiting for him to stop at a red light before giving him a quick kiss.
“I would have taken you sooner if I could have.”
“This is perfect, and I can’t think of a better person to be with at my favorite place than you.”
His smile changes to a genuine one. I love how much Aiden smiles now. I don’t want him to ever stop.
Haunted Love Page 29