by Kate Douglas
“I don’t know if I can.” He sighed, remembering all the pointless arguments that had driven him and Riley apart over the years. The resentment. Even now, the knowledge that this glorious, irritating woman had belonged to his brother left him feeling cold and angry.
“Yes.” She reached out and turned his face to hers with the tips of her fingers. Smiled impishly. “You can. Any man who can make a potato sound sexy can do absolutely anything he wants.”
“I see you’ve been reading Mrs. Andrews’s magazines.” He didn’t want to discuss his writing, but he covered her hand with his, pressing it against the side of his face.
The gesture seemed to surprise her, but she didn’t pull away.
“I found your column to be...um...educational?” She grinned. “But then I’m not much of a cook.” She paused. Her expression sobered. “Seamus...” Her fingers spread under his, stroking his cleanly shaved chin. “Think about what I said. You aren’t responsible for Riley’s sins and you certainly have no reason for guilt. He was your brother and you loved him, or you wouldn’t have cared enough to be angry with him.”
“Easier said than done, but I’ll think about it.” His hand covered hers a moment longer, then he lifted her fingers away and set her hand gently in her lap. “I have to get back to work.”
“Is that a potato I hear calling?” Kat cupped her hand over her ear and grinned. “Flirty little thing.”
She was definitely going to drive him nuts. Flirtatious and teasing like this... It was all he could do to control himself. His face still tingled where she’d touched him. His hand itched to grab hers again. He wanted to touch her, to hold her, to make the child growing within that glorious body his.
He wanted to make Kathleen Malone his.
Thank goodness she didn’t have a clue. He grinned sheepishly to cover feelings he was still unsure of, then stood up and headed back to his office.
Her laughter followed him through the door.
KAT DOZED IN THE lounge chair, although full sleep eluded her. The past few weeks’ inactivity was so unlike her usual frenetic pace, but for the life of her, she couldn’t muster the energy to fight. Even her brief verbal exchanges with Seamus left her exhausted.
Everything about Seamus exhausted her. No, she thought. That isn’t fair. It wasn’t exhaustion she felt. It was excitement. Fighting her reaction to the damned man was exhausting!
She pondered the implications a moment, half asleep, half dreaming. It wouldn’t do. Not at all. If Riley O’Rourke had taught her anything at all, it was that she’d been right all along. Men could be friends or they could be lovers. They couldn’t be both. Once they became lovers, they took control, took your love, took your heart, took your trust, took everything that made you you .
What did they give back?
Of its own volition, Kat’s hand traced the subtle roundness of her abdomen. Oh, damn, what they give back!
She liked Seamus O’Rourke. She couldn’t help herself. He drove her nuts and made her want to scream, but she liked him and admired him, and she wasn’t about to screw up a good thing. Friendship was a rare commodity. She didn’t have that many friends, and the ones she had kept falling in love with other people and getting married.
The shrill ring of the telephone startled her fully awake. She heard Seamus answer it, his deep voice an incomprehensible rumble drifting through the open window of his office.
She suddenly realized she’d never seen his office, and in fact, hadn’t explored the house at all beyond the guest room and the kitchen. She’d drifted through the past few weeks, existing but not participating in life. Where had her insatiable curiosity gone? She’d always been a snoop. That was why she made such a terrific investigator.
A hummingbird hovered near a sweet-smelling branch covered with lemon blossoms. Kat stared at the tiny creature, enthralled by the rainbow of colors reflecting off the perfect little feathers, hypnotized by the whirring wings.
Hypnotized . That was the only explanation that worked. Seamus had worked his hypnotic magic on her, taking control of her life, her thoughts. The days since Riley’s death had an almost dreamlike quality to them. For the first time in her life she hadn’t had to worry about a thing. She’d left everything to Seamus. She’d given him control.
Kat Malone goes it alone.
Only Kat Malone hadn’t done a damned thing alone. Rephrase that...Kat Malone hasn’t done a damned thing, period.
She stood up. Her legs felt shaky, but she stood. Other than trips from her bed to the bathroom, she’d barely taken a step in three weeks. Of course she’d feel shaky. Lack of exercise tended to do that to a person.
“I want my life back.” There, she’d said it. Of course, she’d barely whispered the statement that was more of a plea...the only one to hear was the hummingbird. Kat stretched and felt the strength pour into her arms. She leaned over and almost touched her toes.
“Won’t be doing that much longer,” she muttered. Already her body had ripened. The flat stomach she’d always had was rounded and firm in her sixth month of pregnancy. She no longer felt comfortable with the woman she’d always been and wondered constantly if she’d ever know that woman again.
Ever feel that woman’s inner strength again.
Seamus had been there when she needed him, offered help before she even knew to ask. He’d made it too easy, too comfortable. It was time she found her own place, made herself strong again. She’d need her strength when the baby came. It wasn’t going to be easy. Single mothers never had it easy.
Kat Malone goes it alone. She’d repeated that mantra almost all her adult life. Repeated it when she’d faced a dozen armed men during a raid, holding them off until her partner finally arrived, and again when she’d been locked in the trunk of her car, her head bloodied and her hands tied during a botched stakeout.
She’d whispered the phrase over and over the morning she’d read Riley’s obituary.
It had held extra meaning then. “So what’s the big deal?” she muttered, then looked around, almost expecting an answer. That was foolish. She’d always been alone.
Seamus’s voice carried through the open window as he continued his phone conversation and the rich sound of it made her frown.
Now was as good a time as any. At least she could go up to her room, make some calls, set the wheels in motion for her move. Kat slipped quietly through the French doors leading to the staircase, then carefully climbed the steps to her room. She paused halfway up and held her palm to her stomach. The tiny flutter of motion reassured her all was well.
She’d never gone on that shopping trip and nothing from her vandalized rental had been salvageable. She eyed the blue sweats, thought of the slim-fitting black suit hanging in the closet, ran her fingers over her swollen belly and grabbed the sweatpants.
She was holding the sweatshirt in her hands debating the need for a bra to support her growing breasts when Seamus burst into the room.
“Excuse me.” Kat didn’t even attempt to cover herself. Modesty had never been her strong point. “Did you want something?”
“I...I...” He glanced away, then shrugged and leaned back against the door, closing it behind him. “Don’t you think you should put that on?” he asked.
“I was just going to.” Kat slid her hands into the sleeves and raised her arms. The soft blue top slipped easily over her head, covering her completely. She tugged it into position and folded her arms across her middle. “Is that better?”
“Not really.” His smile looked tense. “But it does make it easier to carry on a conversation.”
Kat shrugged her shoulders and waited.
“I looked outside and didn’t see you. I didn’t know where you’d gone.”
“Here. To my room. What’s the big deal?”
His chest expanded, he closed his eyes as if in prayer, then exhaled. “The big deal, Kat, is that you’ve got some crazy out to kill you.” He pushed himself away from the door to tower over her as he tapped each point
off on the palm of his hand. “You’re six months pregnant and recently almost lost your baby. You’ve hardly been out of bed for three weeks and here you’ve just climbed the stairs without assistance.”
His voice rose steadily with each transgression. “I looked out my window and you weren’t there,” he shouted. “I was worried. That’s the big deal.”
“Seamus, we need to talk...quietly.” Kathleen turned away from him and sat down on the edge of the bed. “This is ridiculous. I’m a grown woman, used to doing things for myself. I think it’s time I moved out and got my own place.”
He opened his mouth to respond but she held up her hand to stop him. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate all you’ve done, but I can’t let myself become so dependent on you. I’m feeling a hundred percent better. My morning sickness is finally gone and there’s no reason I can’t find myself a nice little apartment with good security, go back to a desk job until the baby’s born, and get back to my life.”
“There’s an excellent reason you can’t do that.”
If Kathleen hadn’t known him better, she would have thought he smirked. “Why not?”
“You don’t have a job to go back to. At least not until after you have the baby.”
“Says who?” She jumped up from the bed and confronted him. “If I’m feeling okay, they have to let me work.”
“You’ve been placed on extended disability leave. Your doctor recommended it and your supervisor agreed.”
“They can’t do this to me. Not without my approval.” Pacing back and forth, Kat worked her way through various forms of murder. She wasn’t certain who the target was...her stalker, her supervisor, her doctor or Seamus. Maybe all four.
“Yes they can, and they have. Kat, listen to me...” He grabbed her by the shoulders and gently slowed her pacing. “It’s not just for you. The police are trying to catch this guy, but so far they haven’t had any luck. They don’t even know for sure who they’re looking for. In the meantime, anyone who works near you is at risk. They know this psycho’s after you, but they don’t know who he is. We don’t think he’s figured out where you’re staying right now, but someone’s tried to hack into the department’s computer as well as the hospital records on the OB/GYN floor. I guess hackers leave a kind of signature—something that tells the investigator it’s probably the same guy who’s been following you.
“You’re safe here, for now. Once you’re out on your own, writing checks on your own account, using the phone, credit cards, whatever, he’s going to find you. While you’re pregnant, you can’t risk that. You can’t risk an innocent life because you’re too damned hard-headed to accept help when you need it. You can’t risk the lives of the people who work near you.”
“I... Damn!” She glared at him, hating him and his sensible argument. Kat slumped under his gentle grasp, aware of the heat emanating from his strong hands, the beat of her heart, the sense of defeat simmering in her soul. “How do you know this? Why haven’t you told me?”
“Believe me. I didn’t know. Not until your supervisor called. That was him earlier. He thinks your stalker might be one of the men you helped arrest on that case in Utah where you met Riley. Two of the men slipped bail. The FBI’s got APBs out on both of them, but no word on where they might be. Your ex-partner and his wife have been notified since they were in on the bust, but so far it looks as if this guy just has it in for you. Kat, be reasonable. I saw what he did to your house. He’s crazy and he’s after you.”
“If I stay here, I put you at risk, too,” she muttered. His large hands were rubbing her shoulders, doing crazy things to her chest, making it harder to breath. His thumbs caressed her collarbones; his fingers massaged the tight muscles along her neck.
“I’ll keep you safe. Just let me take care of you for the next few months,” he whispered. “Let someone else worry about things for a change.”
It sounded so tempting, felt so tantalizing. Kat gazed up at Seamus out of heavy-lidded eyes and inexplicably wondered what it would feel like to kiss Riley’s brother. The two men’s lips were shaped exactly the same, but Kat knew instinctively the comparison would end there. Her eyes closed in anticipation. This had to be Seamus’s call. She didn’t want the attraction gnawing at her heart, coiling inside and building with each touch of his hands. Did not want it at all.
Couldn’t live without it.
She felt boneless under his gentle touch, even as his large hands held her, slipping over her shoulders, embracing her. She sensed him drawing closer, felt the heat from his body, inhaled his unique scent. His words soothed and comforted, the mesmerizing rumble of his voice enthralled, hypnotized...suddenly Kat’s eyes popped open and she twisted out of his grasp.
He’s doing it again!
She’d almost kissed him...almost let him kiss her. She didn’t want...could not want...that.
Hell. She didn’t know what she wanted.
“What do you want from me?” she demanded.
“To help you.” The look he gave her was as confused as she felt. “That’s all. I guess I feel responsible for you, okay?”
“I told you, you’re not responsible. Your brother got me pregnant, my job got me the stalker and... What’s in this for you?” Suddenly she stopped her tirade. Stared at him. At his lips.
HE COULDN’T DENY IT. He’d wanted to kiss her. Almost had kissed her. Was still kicking himself for not kissing her.
She blinked, narrowed her eyes. “Why can’t you be honest with me? What do you really want?” She turned away and paced like a cat, all fire and fury, eyes flashing, words tumbling out, spitting anger, her hands curled like claws.
She was absolutely magnificent.
“I may look like a whore—”
“Don’t say that.” He took a step toward her, his hand out. “Please. Don’t.”
She backed away.
He dropped his hand to his side.
Her chin came up. She glared at him. Her words, soft and controlled, had all the more power to hurt. “I told you I don’t act like a whore. Nor am I looking for a relationship. I don’t want to get involved with anyone. Especially you, Seamus. My God, you’re Riley’s brother!”
She might as well have slapped him. He stepped back, putting as much distance between the two of them as possible in the space between the bed and the door. Kat’s face paled. This time her hand reached out. He wondered if she somehow wished she could call the words back, apologize for insulting him.
Did she even realize how much she’d hurt him? Seamus took a deep breath, struggled for control, felt the bands tighten across his chest. He clenched and unclenched his fists, hating Riley now more than he’d ever hated his brother in all his life.
“All right.” The words felt as if they’d ripped from his very soul. He spat them at her, words filled with venom, filled with the black hatred for all that Riley had taken from him. “You want honesty. You’ll get honesty. You asked what I want from you? It’s simple, Ms. Malone. I don’t want you. I don’t want anything to do with you. You’re the means to an end. I want the baby. That’s it. I want my brother’s child.”
IF ONLY HE HADN’T been disturbed, he might have heard what they argued about. He’d been close enough until that twit of a housekeeper practically tripped over him. Well, she wouldn’t do it again.
He rubbed his leather-gloved hands over his thighs, flexed his fingers and replayed the feel of the old woman’s life ebbing beneath his grasp. He’d only come today to observe, to study the dynamics between Seamus O’Rourke and Kathleen Malone.
Killing hadn’t been on the schedule, but she’d left him no choice.
Once it happened, he’d wanted her to see him, to recognize him in that last moment as she hovered between life and death, suspended in his powerful, crushing hands.
He’d waited too long. That was disappointing. His glance shifted to his left, to the tip of a worn shoe sticking out from under a perfectly trimmed juniper. His body thrummed with power and he took a deep breath befo
re turning his gaze to the window just above him on the second floor.
The power within him increased. His need grew. He’d heard the door slam when the other O’Rourke left.
The bitch was there, alone. Pregnant. Vulnerable.
There was no plan, but neither was this impulse. He never acted on impulse. No, he thought, this is a brilliant opportunity to move forward. A chance to gain more power.
He slipped through the open door into the kitchen.
Chapter Four
“STUPID. HOW COULD YOU possibly be so damned stupid?” Seamus abruptly halted his frustrated, furious pacing across the back deck and stared at the upper window, the one to Kathleen’s bedroom. The enraged words he’d shouted at her banged about inside his skull like discordant cymbals.
He bowed his head, closed his eyes in self-disgust.
He’d really screwed it up now.
Any minute she was going to come flying down the stairs. He’d hear that beat-up little car of hers peel out of the driveway and he’d never see her again.
Maybe it was all for the best.
What right did he have wanting his brother’s baby? Even more despicable, what right did he have wanting Riley’s woman?
The few short weeks since Riley’s death had driven home some hard truths. Seamus knew he was avoiding the real issue—that all the years he’d condemned Riley, he’d envied him even more, and had wanted to enjoy the freedoms Riley had without the guilt that was Seamus’s constant companion.
Now Riley was dead and Seamus not only wanted his brother’s child, he wanted Riley’s woman as well. Well, he’d definitely screwed that up. What an ass ... Here he’d promised to protect her and he’d threatened her with the worst possible thing anyone could say to a mother-to-be. He’d scared her badly. Frightened her enough to run far and fast, to put as much distance between herself and Seamus O’Rourke as was humanly possible.
She didn’t want his protection. She didn’t want his friendship. She’d point blank told him she wanted nothing to do with Seamus O’Rourke.