“I don’t want you to catch pneumonia on your walk back when you go. You didn’t answer me about the concert. I take it you’re not interested.”
I swallowed hard, trapped by those scarred hands, stronger and gentler than anyone else I knew. I wanted more than anything in the world to put my head on the shoulder that was so close, so solid looking and close my eyes. I forced myself to stand up straight and look at him in the eye.
“I can’t. I’m going to be really busy for a long time, but I shouldn’t see you anyway. I didn’t think you’d be here; I just had to come to find out if it was real or if it had all been a dream. You distract me so much that I can’t think. I never should have come.” My stomach twisted even as I shook my head. “It’s not far to Grim’s house; I’m sure I’ll be fine with wet hair. You don’t have to worry about me.”
His mouth was inches from mine. The realization came suddenly, like a kick to the stomach, that with little effort I could taste the life and heat of him. The shivering redoubled. I knew instinctively that if I kissed him, if I touched my lips to his, I would never leave.
I looked down, forcing myself to see the purple shirt that I’d put on so long ago. Had I really been in school giggling about Osmond that same day? Who was I? I should pick up my black, ugly, puffer coat, where it lay behind Lewis on the cold concrete and leave. My uncles would be here any moment, actually, they should have come already.
“I find it impossible not to worry about you,” he said quietly, still running hands through my damp hair.
I studied his arms. Old lines ran up and down them, scars from his Bloodworking probably, but nothing new, nothing recent.
He said in a low, husky voice, “You’re staying with Grim? He isn’t one I would like to fight. What a relief that he doesn’t mind you walking the streets at night in my neighborhood.”
I looked up at him, couldn’t help it, but it was a mistake. His eyes were too close to mine, his mouth in a curving smile that needed to be tasted. Where was that coming from? I wasn’t a kissing person. I wasn’t even a hand holding person.
“I snuck out,” I stammered. “I should get back before he realizes I’m gone. He might worry.”
Lewis kept his steady gaze on me, looking unsurprised by my confession. “And it’s doubtful that Aiden would be willing to divert your uncle for you to sneak out again. It’s a pity. I think that you really would like the band. Have you enjoyed finding out who you are with your own soul? I like the blue.”
I couldn’t breathe, not when every breath was so full of him, so close, warm but unflinching. I had a feeling that he wouldn’t be surprised by anything, wouldn’t be shocked if I told him the deepest darkest thing I could think of.
“Do you like blue? You don’t seem to use a lot of it in your work. I like sparkles, and ponies, but I’m sure you know that. You had my soul longer than I have. Why would you want to take me to a concert? You wouldn’t do that, would you? What do you really want?”
He smiled, a smile that didn’t touch his warm eyes, eyes that sparked gold as they glowed. I knew what he wanted without him saying anything. He wanted the knife he’d had out, ready for me to take, to use on him, to mix our blood together in an ancient ritual from another world.
“I have to go,” I gasped, feeling my heart-rate redouble.
“You don’t have to leave,” he said in a low voice trembling with his effort to control himself, to keep his hands steady on my hair even as his head lowered, closer to mine.
“Of course I have to go,” I said, pulling away from him, sliding against the counter, searching for something to look at besides him. My coat, on the floor behind him. Black. I needed my coat. I needed to put it on and walk away.
“How can I let you go?” he asked, his words chilling me.
I swallowed as I looked into his eyes, golden, burning, unstable and breathtakingly beautiful.
“It’s not your choice.”
“You came here.” He took a step towards me, an ominous step that made my heart pound hard under my ribs.
“You lied to me,” I snapped, my voice loud as anger and frustration I’d been fighting down for months erupted. “You’re a master painter, master assassin, master bloodworker. I am not something you can play with and then drain when you’re tired of pretending to be nice. You’re not nice.”
He cocked his head to the side as he studied me, thoughtfully.
I licked my lips, suddenly nervous under his stare. “There’s nothing that you can say that will change my mind. I’m not quite that stupid.”
“All right,” he said, raising his hands in surrender. “I am impressed with your ability to maintain such serenity in my presence. Do you veins not ache?”
My heart pounded and I gripped my wrist tightly, refusing to scratch my arms, but when I glanced down, helplessly, the scabs were perfectly visible to both of us.
“I’m sorry for giving you my blood. I thought I was helping. No. I’m fine. I’ve got it taken care of. You’re just going to have to live with the vein thing. Sorry. But, you know, if I die, which is kind of likely considering how dangerous my world is and how mindlessly I seem to go rushing into danger, you should feel better before too long.”
“You’ve got it taken care of? How? Won’t you share your methods with me? I thought there was only one way to stop the pain.”
He didn’t sound in pain, but his eyes, golden and heavy burned into me. I shrugged off the guilt I felt from hurting him.
“Sure. Next time I see my dad, I’ll just ask him to lean it out of you.”
“Your father’s leaning you? Why would he do that? Doesn’t he understand the danger…”
“I asked him to. Told him, actually. He listened to me. I know, seems strange that someone would bother listening to what I want them to do to me, but he does that sometimes.”
“You’re still angry,” he noted.
“Yes,” I said, putting my hands on his chest in a stupid attempt to push him back, but his hands circled my wrists, trapping them against his warmth, giving me an excuse to keep close to him.
“Maybe I’ll die first, and then your father won’t have to lean you.”
I flinched. “No. After all that effort I went through to keep you alive, you’re not dying.”
“I suppose it had better be you, then,” he said, moving closer, his forehead brushing mine as he bent down to me. “A beast with fangs, out for your own blood.”
“What?” I asked, pulling away from him, breaking out of his grasp easily. He’d let me go.
“Dream of a woman, and a dream of death,” he said, like that was an answer.
“Are you insane now? If so, would you please stop looking at me like that? Just kill me and get it over with.”
He frowned at me, standing up straight so I had space to breathe. I didn’t want space to breathe. I wanted to curl up in his arms and absorb his warmth until I’d been toasted like a marshmallow.
“I’m not going to kill you. Ever.”
“Why not?”
“Because, I love you,” he answered, his frown darkening his face. “I didn’t mean to get into this mess. If maturity came with age, I would be sensibly running a corporation and organizing the world to my profit. I’m Axel, or I was, but I didn’t age well. I’ve tried. Everything. I want to grow up and stop feeling out of control. I can’t look at you and think of an asset I can take advantage of. I feel fear. I can’t let you die. I told myself that you were safe with Slide. Your father joining them has made them a terror. No one would challenge them. Now, you’re here. In my power. How can I let you leave without finishing the bond? How could I be so selfless? You must understand and accept the consequences of your actions.”
“You’re saying that you’re afraid for my safety, or unwilling to let me go without finishing the bond?”
“Both.”
“Don’t worry. I have a nice Trainer who is going to make sure that I become a very capable Hybrid. After I get tattoos I’ll be much more diffi
cult to kill. You’ll just have to deal with the unfinished bond, because I don’t know who you are.”
“Did you say tattoos? Runes?”
I shrugged for a moment staring back at his bright golden eyes, defiant before he grabbed me, wrapping me in his arms as he carried me through the wrecked garage and towards his car.
“Let me go,” I said as I struggled, more feebly than if he didn’t feel like home. I fought the urge to sigh and settle against him, allowing myself to mold myself to the contours of his body. He ignored my efforts.
“You can’t just drag me off against my will.”
“You came here,” was his terse response.
He picked up the knife from the shelf as we passed, slicing his arm from wrist to armpit as he shifted me in his grasp.
No. His blood rose from the cut, a symphony of red that brought my veins to life. I’d never known burning, never known pain, never known desire until that moment as he ripped his skin open for me.
“I can’t…” I whispered as I closed my eyes, fighting down the pounding inside of me that threatened to break through my own skin. I heard the screams, tasted the death, saw Lewis fall, saw Jason drive the knife through him, tasted death, saw the faces, twisted in agony as I destroyed them, taking their lives, taking their blood, taking their deaths. Everything became smoke and death, darkness, blood, everything closing in on me until I became lost in darkness.
I opened my eyes and found myself on the floor of the dim garage, Lewis hunched over his knees across from me, agony etched on his shadowed face.
“Lewis,” I gasped as I lurched to him, grabbing his head, pressing my forehead against his. “You’re all right. Are you all right? I thought you were dead. I saw you die.”
He wrapped his arms around me, and held me tight, letting me tremble against him, tired, limp, like I’d barely escaped.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t have tried to force you.”
I buried my head deeper into his chest. I didn’t want to think about anything. “It doesn’t matter.”
Of course it mattered. He’d cut himself. Why was I there against him when he had all the power and I had all the innocence? Maybe I couldn’t help myself. Devlin had made me this person, instead of being the girl with the crazy hair who had wanted Lewis dead. My stomach twisted at the thought of my Lewis dying, of the unfinished bond fading into nothing.
“All right,” I said, pulling back and taking his face in my hands, staring into those golden eyes, eyes haunted with pain. My father had said it would be much worse for him. “Let’s finish the bond, then.”
“No.”
I pushed back his messy auburn hair so I could gaze into his warm, golden eyes glowing in the darkness.
“What do you mean? It’s fine for you to drag me off, but it’s not fine for me to want to go?”
“It’s too dangerous,” he said.
“You don’t make any sense.”
He kissed my fingers, one soft kiss at a time until he put my hands in my lap and stood, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down on me. That’s when I realized how dark it was in the garage because I’d killed all the lights except for a line of backups that had come up to light things up enough that we would be able to walk without running into the walls.
“We can’t finish the bond. When I died, it would kill you,” he said, like he planned on dying next week, on his trip to Hawaii.
“That sounds romantic to die together.”
He sighed and smiled slightly. “Don’t be contrary. This is what you want. You just lost consciousness fighting me.”
I shook my head. “That was the memories, the night at the gallery…” I swallowed hard as I stood. “I’m sorry about killing your lights. That’s why I have to be trained. I’m kind of dangerous, but I don’t want to leave and never see you again. I thought you were dead. I’m so scared that I’m going to lose you again. I’ve tried to be normal, but the fear eats at me all the time.”
“You need to stay away from me,” he whispered, but he looked uncertain as I stepped forward and grabbed his hands, burying my small ones in his.
“I like waking up to you,” I said, leaning up and resting my forehead against his cheek. “I know that I want to experience the innocence, the life that I missed, but I slaughtered so many people, lived without a soul for ten years, and thought I lost you. I’ve experienced too much already. I don’t know who you are, not really, but you could introduce yourself to me.”
“You would miss your family,” he said hoarsely.
I kissed him. His words came from far away and didn’t really penetrate until I’d found his mouth, tasted his sweetness, his soft lips warm, silky against mine.
I blinked and pulled away. “My family?”
He swallowed, his eyes full and luminous looking as he leaned towards me. “I could introduce myself to them too,” he whispered before he kissed me back, his kiss persuasion I couldn’t resist.
I drowned in his kiss, his lips slow, soft, gentle as his arms tightened around me, drawing to him, warm, strong, perfect. Too soon, he broke away, glancing to the side for a moment before he met my gaze.
“Where are we?” he asked, arms holding me carefully.
“In the garage?”
A flicker of smile crossed his lips.
I loved those lips. I needed to kiss him again. I leaned forward, but he held me back.
“Are you running away with me, going back home never to see me again, or something else?”
“Oh.” I frowned as I studied his mouth. I had to kiss him again. I could get used to kissing him without losing my soul.
“Why didn’t I take your soul this time?” I asked.
“I’m not so close to death.”
“That’s good,” I murmured, sliding my hands up his shoulders to tangle in his hair, pulling his head down towards me.
“We can’t stand here all night kissing,” he said, twisting out of my grasp, although his hands didn’t loosen on me.
“Why not?”
“I’m afraid that I’d cut myself open again, and then you’d pass out again. It could be a vicious cycle.”
“Oh,” I said, stupidly and then pushed myself away from him, needing space to think. I didn’t want space to think. I wanted to kiss him and forget about all the nights I’d woken up alone with screams in my ears and his last look burning into me.
“Also, your uncles could come at any moment. They should be here.” He frowned as he took a step towards me.
“They think that I’m sleeping.”
“In that case,” he said as he bent his head and captured my lips in a breathless moment when time stood still.
I wrapped my hands around him, pulling him close, sliding my hand over the skin of his back beneath his shirt. The kissing became something more, his caution falling away as he pulled me against him, scraping my scalp with his fingers as he curled around me. Finishing the blood bond would not be so bad. We could do it with a syringe, no blood filling the air, something neat and clinical, nothing gruesome and dark, like the Nether in the woods full of mists and death.
I pulled away, the feel of his skin under my fingers echoing the feel of the Nether. I slid my hand over his shoulders beneath his t-shirt as he gazed at me, his mouth soft, wet. I felt the contours of his chest, down his ripped abs to the waistband of his jeans.
He felt exactly like the Nether. I leaned forward, brushing my nose against the skin of his neck. He swallowed as he held perfectly still, like I was going to rip out his throat and he wanted me to. He smelled like sunshine on grass. No Nether. The Nether had stopped coming when Lewis was captured by Jason. The things he said, they’d been like Lewis, only darker. Could Lewis be the Nether, or was I paranoid because I’d found out that he’d been Axel all along?
“Do you ride around on a monster in the woods at night?” I whispered, feeling idiotic for asking.
His half shut eyes opened wide. “What kind of monster?”
; I pulled away, dropping his shirt over his beautiful, scarred flesh.
“That wasn’t an answer.” My heart pounded as I stared at him, as he stared back, deciding how many of his deep dark secrets he would tell me.
Finally he raised his hands in the air. “I confess. I am the darkness that haunts you. You should go.”
I slammed my hands against his chest, sending him rocking back while he covered my hands with his. “You’re really the Nether creature who I dreamed when you had my soul? How is that possible? You’re the Nether guy who was naked in Satan’s car?”
“Dreamed me? What does that mean?”
“You don’t get to ask questions,” I snapped as I gripped his shirt in my fists. “Why did you come and see me, and why weren’t you wearing any clothes?”
“I needed to make certain that you were safe, and when I’m using mists to move through space and time, I tend to disintegrate my clothing. It’s one of my biggest failings.”
“Why didn’t you tell me who you were? I’ve been going crazy wondering if you’re all right. You weren’t exactly in the best shape when I saw you last.”
“I don’t do confessions.”
“Then you shouldn’t go around kissing soulless girls in the woods.”
He sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m Axel, Hybrid, son of Lewis of Carlyle, a House that decimated more Hollows than any other. My mother is not a Hotblood alone, but half Nether.” He opened his eyes and gave me a scowl before continuing. “Some people wish to hunt those with rich blood. I don’t like killing them. They are addicts. They wish to die if they can’t have more of the Nether mists. I’m perverse in that I dislike killing people who want to die. I much prefer to end the lives of cruel beasts who strain and snarl.” He raised an eyebrow. “Are you following?”
He had as much Nether as my father. That meant a lot. Not to mention his father, however much Nether he had in his blood, which if he was a bloodthirsty and powerful Wild probably meant more than Slide. I nodded mutely.
He continued. “I spent the first ten years of my life with my mother’s clan until a Wild decided to kill them all. His was my first death. I had no one. I lost myself in the woods until Pisces the monster found me and bound me. Twenty years I spent more or less, no aging, creatures of death and darkness bound by a love of the hunt until Old Peter trapped me. Tamed me. Separated me from the darkness and taught me to be human again. Is it clear so far?”
House of Slide Hybrid Page 10