~ ~ ~
“Ex-fiancé. I meant he’s my ex-fiancé,” Sonny said. Her shoulders shook with her exaggerated shiver. “God, I can’t believe I made that mistake.”
The wave of relief that pummeled Ian at the word ex-fiancé was as strong as the tsunami of dread that hit him when that picture of Mr. GQ popped up on her phone. But unease still lingered. If she wasn’t used to thinking of him in the past tense yet, the guy must still be pretty fresh in her head.
“Ask your questions,” Sonny said. “I know you have some.”
“I do. It doesn’t mean I have the right to ask them, or that you owe me any answers.”
“I’ll answer,” she said.
Her admission made his chest grow tight. She was willing to answer his questions. That meant she was willing to let him inside, to share a bit more of herself with him.
“Okay,” Ian said. He pushed himself up on the table and rubbed the worn denim covering his thighs. “How recently did your ex-fiancé earn the ex in front of his title?”
“A year ago,” she said. “I still can’t believe I called him my fiancé. Maybe it’s because I’m tired, or because I’ve tried not to think about him ever since he stopped being my fiancé.”
“How long were you two together?”
“Together for five years, engaged for two.”
His fingers dug into his thighs. Five years was a long damn time.
“We met our first year of medical school,” she continued. “We were in the same study group. I thought it was random, but later found out that Douglas cajoled his way in.”
“To get closer to you?”
Sonny nodded, then shrugged. “I was flattered. I wasn’t used to guys pursuing me. As I mentioned before, my teen years were pretty awkward. Douglas was smart, accomplished. Exactly the kind of guy I knew my parents would love.”
An absurd amount of jealousy raced through him.
Ian wasn’t naïve enough to think she hadn’t had a love life before she met him. Shit, she’d picked him up in a bar and got busy with him a couple of hours later in her car. But knowing she’d been with this one guy for five years, that she’d been set to marry him, set off a toxic feeling in Ian’s gut.
“Two years seems like a pretty long engagement,” he said. “Did you break up because he wouldn’t stop dragging his feet?”
“Actually, I’m the one who refused to set a wedding date,” she said, shocking him yet again. “I didn’t love Douglas. Not the way a woman is supposed to love her future husband. I started to suspect pretty early into our relationship that the main reason he was with me is because he saw me as a stepping-stone to working with my father. I believe that was his motive all along.”
“Yet you stayed with him for five years?”
“It’s...complicated,” she said. Then she shook her head. “Actually, no it isn’t. It isn’t complicated at all. Douglas was the person my parents wanted me to marry. He was my ‘perfect fit.’ That’s how my mother referred to him.”
She folded her arms over her chest and returned to the worktable, reclaiming the pose she’d held earlier.
“My mom was right. Douglas was the perfect fit for the person I pretended to be.” She looked over at him. “But I’m not that person, Ian. I never was that person. It was all an act.”
“I’m not really sure how a person can spend their entire life being someone they’re not.”
“It’s amazingly easy,” Sonny said. “Especially when you feel you have no other choice.” She cleared her throat. “My dad is a prominent heart surgeon in Houston, although we only returned there after I graduated high school. We lived in both Switzerland and Germany for several years. My dad was on a medical team that was nominated for the Nobel Prize in medicine.”
“So he’s that kind of prominent,” Ian said.
“Yeah, he’s that kind of prominent.”
“And the ex? Doug?”
“No, Douglas,” she said. “No nicknames for Douglas. Serious people do not have nicknames. He never called me Sonny. It was always Madison.”
“He sounds like an ass.”
“He’s a total ass. Breaking off that engagement was the best thing I could have done. It was the first step on my journey.”
“This journey of yours,” Ian started. “How did it happen? How does the daughter of a world-renowned heart surgeon wind up in little old Maplesville baking cakes?”
“One day I just made the decision to go for it. I needed out,” she said. Her eyelids slid closed as she shook her head. “I was so unhappy, Ian. It felt as if I was suffocating.” When she opened her eyes and looked at him, Ian was floored by the blast of raw honesty staring back at him. “Then my grandmother died. That was the true catalyst. She used to tell me that when I wake up in the morning, I should have one goal: to find whatever joy the day had in store. There was no joy in my life. When she died, I decided that life was too short to spend even a single day of it being so miserable. I knew I had to make a change.”
“So you chose to become a pastry chef?”
“To be honest, my job with Kiera is the first actual chef position I’ve held. Although, that may change soon.”
Unease sparked within him. “How so?”
“I’m afraid to even talk about it.” She bit her lower lip. “I’ll probably jinx myself.”
“Talk about what?” Ian asked.
“One of my dream jobs just became available. I know I’m not qualified yet, but I’m thinking about interviewing for it anyway.”
Ian swallowed deeply, and then had to clear his throat. “What job?” he finally asked.
“Assistant pastry chef at the Windsor Court Hotel.”
“The one in New Orleans?”
She nodded. “This would be such a huge leap for me, Ian. The Windsor Court is world-renowned for their high tea, and their head pastry chef is one of the top in the country. Can you imagine all I would learn?”
“It sounds like a golden opportunity.”
“It’s all very pie in the sky, but I got to where I am right now by taking risks. If I hadn’t done so, I would be miserable and stuck working as a surgical resident in a career I hated.”
Ian could barely breathe past the dread that suddenly filled his chest at the thought of her having a job interview that could potentially drag her away from Maplesville.
“So, your grandmother,” he said, trying to change the subject. “Was she a pastry chef, too?”
Sonny’s light laugh filled the air. “Not at all. My grandmother, Maw Maw Jean, was known as the cake lady around town. She was self-taught, never had any kind of business license or anything. She just baked all kinds of cakes and other sweets in her home kitchen. In the summers, I helped her. I always knew this is what I wanted to do. So, about a year ago I quit my residency. And I left.”
Ian’s head reared back with surprise.
“Wait, you quit? After all that hard work?”
She nodded. A different thread of unease wound its way around Ian’s chest.
“When you said medical school didn’t work out, I thought maybe you’d been cut from the program. You know, flunked out or something.”
“Actually, I had the highest rating of all residents in my program.”
“Yet, you just up and quit. Just like that.”
She shrugged. “It was surprisingly easy once I made the decision to do it,” she said. “And then once I had my first taste of freedom, I knew I would never allow myself to be bound by anything ever again.”
Ian tried to swallow down the bitterness that started to climb up his throat. He didn’t want to make comparisons between what Sonny had done with her medical career and what his own mother had done with her family, but how could he not? The suffocating feeling she described sounded so similar to the same thing his mother told him before she left for Paris that it was as if they’d read from the same script.
How could he trust Sonny not to pack up and leave the way his mother had? Hell, he already knew she had one foot out the d
oor. She could very well be out of here at the end of the month.
And even if he could convince her to stay, would he always have that worry in the back of his head that she would start to feel suffocated and decide to leave? What would that do to Kimmie?
Ian had to clear his throat before he could speak. “Are you completely estranged from your parents?” he asked.
“No,” she said. She gestured to her phone, which she’d placed on the table again. “As a matter of fact, my dad called today. He wants me in Houston for a banquet where he’s being honored for one thing or other. I told him I couldn’t go, and so he recruited backup, as if getting Douglas to call would make a difference.”
“Houston isn’t that far of a drive. Why aren’t you going?”
“It’s next weekend,” she said.
Next weekend. Kimmie’s party.
Dammit.
Ian selfishly wanted her to be here next weekend, not only because of the work they’d put into planning Kimmie’s party—let’s be honest, Sonny had done most of the planning, she deserved to be here to see it all come together. Even more, Ian didn’t want anything reminding her of what she’d left behind. He wanted to keep her in Maplesville as long as possible, and the thought of her even sharing the same air with the ex-fiancé she’d left in Houston weighed like lead in his belly.
At the same time, Ian didn’t want the gap between her and her family to widen anymore than it had already. He knew better than most the importance of keeping family together.
“Look, Sonny, I know you think you should be here for the party, but I can handle it.”
She shook her head. “No. No way.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Yes, it is,” she said. “I will not miss seeing the look on Kimmie’s face when we surprise her. But it’s not just the party. My father has to understand that he cannot tell me to jump and expect me to ask how high. I did that for twenty-seven years, Ian. I’m done living that way.” She slapped a palm to her chest. “I’m finally finding me. And I like what I’ve found.”
His lips lifted in a small smile. “I like what you’ve found, too. It’s good to know you plan to fight for you.”
Yet, even as he said the words, a pall fell over him. Ian knew she wouldn’t be here for long. Not after hearing about the life she’d left behind.
This adventure she’d started was still new and fresh, but how long before she started to miss what she’d given up? He already knew her time in Maplesville was temporary. Once the novelty of this new life she’d discovered wore off, or the pressure of her family’s attempt to bring her back into their prominent lifestyle became too great, she would be gone.
Maplesville was a great town, but there wasn’t enough here to hold the attention of someone who’d lived all over the world, who was used to…to whatever the hell a former medical resident with a Nobel Prize-nominated father was used to. There wasn’t anything he could offer Sonny that would make her consider staying in Maplesville once she decided it was time for her to leave.
It’s a good thing he hadn’t gotten in too far yet. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much to pull away.
Not too far in yet?
Shit. He was so far in he couldn’t see his way out. Watching her go would hurt like hell.
~ ~ ~
“Hey, man, you think that cue has enough chalk yet? Just go ahead and win this game so we can start another one already.”
Ian looked over at Sam and then back down at the pool table, the one he’d been playing on since high school, with the quarter-size patch of green felt missing in front of the left side pocket.
Ian had a mind to hit the seven ball toward that pocket just so he could ride Sam about bringing this ratty pool table from his mom’s rec room instead of buying a new one when he moved into his condo, but his heart wouldn’t be in it. He didn’t have a heart for much today. Ian went for the easier shot to the right corner pocket and then set his pool cue on the rim of the table.
“I’m sitting out the next one,” Ian said, taking a seat on the worn leather couch, also a transplant from Sam’s parents’ home. His friend really needed to get his own furniture.
“You’re sitting this one out?” Dale asked. “You’re the one who suggested we get together.”
“Dude, what’s going on with you?” Sam’s annoyed voice rang out.
Ian couldn’t fault his friends for their frustration. He was the one who’d called them. He’d had a shitty shift at the refinery and didn’t want to go home because he knew his night would be just as shitty. He’d been trying to distance himself from Sonny these last few days. Ian figured it was easier to detach himself now than to wait until the day she inevitably picked up and left Maplesville. He knew it would happen eventually. Hell, if she got that job in New Orleans that she was so excited about, it would likely happen in the next couple of weeks.
He rubbed his chest in an attempt to abate the ache that had taken root there Saturday night.
Ian looked over at his two friends and debated baring his soul. The three of them had been tight since junior high school, which meant nine times out of ten he already knew what their reaction would be even before he said anything. But then he bailed on the idea.
“I’m worried about the loan not coming through in time,” Ian said instead. It wasn’t a complete lie. He was nervous about the loan. “I found out today that whoever processed my paperwork got my social security number wrong when they entered my application into the system. It’s going to delay things even longer.”
“Damn, man,” Dale said. “If you want me to, I can give Vanessa a call, ask her if she can maybe hold off on putting the building on the market?”
Ian shook his head. “I’d never ask your sister to do that. It wouldn’t be fair to the Millers. Besides, Vanessa wouldn’t do it anyway.”
“No, she wouldn’t. I just figured I’d tell you that to make you feel better.”
Ian huffed out a laugh as he took a drink from the can of soda he’d grabbed from Sam’s fridge when he first arrived.
His answer seemed to have satisfied both Sam and Dale, which was good, because he wasn’t up to discussing Sonny with them. Not yet.
Besides, what would he say? That he was falling for his beautiful, carefree tenant? That, for a moment, he actually believed he had a chance with her? Until he’d discovered just how deeply that free-spirited attitude ran. Until he discovered that after years of committing to becoming a doctor, she’d up and quit like a kid who no longer wanted to take piano lessons—or like a mother who no longer wanted to raise her family.
His most eye-opening discovery? Learning that the bohemian goddess living above his garage came from money. Crazy money.
Here he was, crossing his fingers in hopes of getting a loan to buy a building in tiny Maplesville, while Sonny’s dad owned an entire medical group in Houston with over fifty high-powered surgeons working under him. Ian still couldn’t get over the shock he felt as he’d scrolled through web search results for Dr. Carter White. The man was a legend in his field. He could give his daughter the world.
What did Sonny have to gain by tying herself to a mechanic in Maplesville?
Sure, he had money coming to him in a few years from the settlement from his dad’s accident, but that was what? A hundred grand? That didn’t go far these days, and Ian planned to put half of that money on the side for Kimmie. Sonny probably had a trust fund ten times the size of that.
What could Ian possibly offer her? Other than a couple of orgasms in the passenger seat of her VW Bug.
He swallowed a groan.
It was so damn unfair.
But he’d never fooled himself into thinking that life was fair. Life was life. You took what it handed you and you pushed forward. Fairness wasn’t guaranteed. It wasn’t even expected. No one who had lost his father in a freak accident, then watched his mother checkout on her own family, could ever be naïve enough to think life was fair.
Sam tossed his pool cu
e on the table. “Whadda y’all say we go down to The Corral.”
“I’m good with that,” Dale said. “It’s fifty-cent wing night.”
“No!” Ian practically shouted.
Dale put both hands up. “Okay, man. Chill. I didn’t realize you had something against fifty-cent wings. You don’t have to eat any, you know.”
Ian drew both palms down his face. “It’s not the wings,” he muttered.
He was seriously losing his shit, and if he didn’t take it easy his friends would realize it was something more than just the bank loan. Based on the confused glances they shot his way, they already had.
But he couldn’t handle The Corral tonight. Ian wasn’t sure he would ever be able to handle it. He couldn’t even drive past there without getting hard. Of course, the same was true for Ponderosa Pond, Hannah’s Ice Cream Shoppe, even St. Michael’s Church. It’s a good thing he wasn’t Catholic.
If only he could ignore the warning signals that began to blare in his head the moment he discovered Sonny had deliberately abandoned her residency program. The thought of her flunking out hadn’t disturbed him nearly as much as knowing that she’d quit on her own.
He didn’t want to think of her in those terms, as a quitter, as someone who could so easily walk away. He wanted her to be the kind of person who stuck around, even when things got tough.
Maybe he was being too pessimistic. Maybe, if he tried hard enough, he could convince her to stick it out. Maybe he could show her that life here with him in Maplesville is all she would ever need. He could fix bikes all day while she baked cakes, and then they could spend every night naked and sweaty in bed.
But his more practical side, the side responsible for making sure the electric bill got paid and that the milk in the fridge wasn’t expired and that his little sister flossed nightly, knew that he couldn’t get caught up in this fantasy.
Sonny would eventually get tired of living in three hundred square feet of cramped space. Ian was even more convince of it after seeing the palatial Houston estate she’d grown up in displayed in one of the articles he’d run across last night.
The socialite blog had a picture of Carter White, his wife, Regina, and someone who vaguely resembled the woman currently living in the apartment above his garage. The three of them stood before the open wrought iron gates of an enormous home. Even though the caption underneath the picture stated that the younger woman was Madison White, Ian still had a hard time believing it. She had bone-straight hair, falling just past her shoulders. The dozens of bangles and the adorable nose stud were nowhere to be seen, and the white slacks and beige sweater looked like something out of a preppy catalogue. He couldn’t imagine the Sonny he knew wearing something so boring without it being forced on her at gunpoint.
All You Can Handle (Moments In Maplesville Book 5) Page 12