by Corrie Wang
Her eyes flicked to me, then away. Her right hand moved to twirl her braid as it did when she was nervous, but it only met air and settled for her earlobe instead. She checked if I was still staring at her. I was. A tiny nervous whicker escaped her.
“Smiley face,” she said.
When the Parents left, Audra closed the dining room doors. Ailey took her Doc off her lap and placed it on the table. I wondered if she and Audra had been engaging in the same surreptitious dinnertime color commentary that Audra and I always had. I realized I didn’t care.
“So?” Audra asked, hands on hips.
“Sorry to interrupt. Ailey, I was about to tell Audra that I figured out who made the sex video. It’s this hacker in Philly. I was going to show you guys what we swiped from his home hub, but my Doc died on the bus ride back. We left in such a hurry to get there, I forgot my charger. Ailey, can I borrow yours real quick?”
“My charger?”
“No. Your Doc.”
She clutched it to her chest, glanced at Audra, who rolled her eyes impatiently, like, what’s the big deal? Only then did Ailey meekly nod and hand it over.
“You actually tracked down the person that made the video?” Ailey asked.
“We did.” To Audra I said, “He was one of the ConnectBook guys after all. We got him to delete the source file.”
“So that’s it?” Audra asked, begrudgingly interested, begrudgingly impressed. “The video’s gone?”
“Not quite. You were actually right too. There was something that linked us all. We all looked like his ex. And there was a reason I was chosen more than the others. Oops, Ailey you deleted me as a biometrics user. Is the friends’ password prompt still the same?” Before Ailey could answer, into the Doc’s microphone I said, “Flipper Fourteen.”
The Doc whirled to life. By the nervous way Ailey glanced at Audra, you’d think I was about to, like, delete her movie queues or reading shelves. Maybe while I was at it…
“So, one of the things I learned today was how to search for hidden files. Audra, you already know this, but Ailey, you would be amazed at what Sharma can teach you over a two-hour bus ride. Apparently, there’s this way to scan all Doc files solely based on gig size. Doesn’t matter where you store them; the program simply looks for bulk fileage. So, say your hi-res nude selfies are all in a double-encrypted folder, this special search will bring them to the front of the list. See? Here they are.”
I put the folder on fast slide show and swiveled the Doc around so the girls could both see Ailey’s previously hidden pics zip past on-screen. Since they were originals from Audra’s shoots, the girls’ faces weren’t cropped out yet. In half the photos, while the girls posed ubersexy, they were crossing their eyes or sticking their tongues out or just caught midblink. They were the antithesis of the sexy selfie face. My mouth got all bile-y. I guessed it was the taste of jealousy, because the girls also looked like they were having so much fun.
“Granted, this doesn’t work if what you’re looking for is stored on a separate drive, as I’m sure all your B&P files are, Audra. But how many people back up their data on the home hub like they’re supposed to? Besides, if a gal’s worried about her folks accidentally decoding it—say if her dad’s some big gig over at Eden—she definitely wouldn’t take a ’crypted file off her Doc and stash it on the home hub. And most especially not if it was the first official download of her old best friend—air quotes—‘having sex’ with her teacher.”
Audra’s perfect little heart-shaped lips formed an O. Ailey’s pouty lips formed a flat, angry line. A few more swipes and I’d logged on as a guest to Audra’s wallpaper screen. Behind Ailey, my sex video came to life.
“I told you, I didn’t make the video.”
“Correct. And I only blame myself for not seeing that statement for what it is: suppressed evidence, aka the lie-by-omission technique. Very crafty. So while it’s true that you didn’t make the video, what you omitted is that you did find it on the Faculty Activities board of Park Prep’s website.
“I still don’t know why you were looking at the dead-zone Faculty Activities board—have mucho time to kill, do you?—but you must have been all-caps SHOCKED to see it. You downloaded it pretty quick, huh? Because you knew that as soon as anyone else saw it, Dr. Graff would zap it from existence. Then you created your own account for it and reposted it. First on YurTube, then on the Student Activities board, which you very well know is as much a part of every Parkside Prepper’s five-minute checks as ConnectBook.
“Your G-Calendar says your mom was choreographing the Rockefeller Center Christmas show the day before the video dropped. I’m guessing you were killing time at the Forty-Second Street library, waiting for her to get out, before your annual holiday-windows walk?”
I was getting good at this detective stuff. It was almost as easy as they made it look online.
Ailey gazed out the dining room windows. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Okay. Sure, so I guess it’s a total coincidence that AnyLiesUnmade is an anagram of your name. Kind of clunky, no? Did you come up with that yourself? Or did you use an app? I’m guessing app.”
“Kyle,” Audra said. “Stop.”
“Almost done.” I held a hand out to Audra, warding her off. “I see the proceeds of the video let you buy that car you always wanted—told your parents you were using your savings, right? The rest is probably already stashed away in your money-market account. You know, I never figured you for a stalker, Ailey.”
“What makes you think this is even about you? And who’s been stalking who? You’re the one who wouldn’t stop txting me.”
“I didn’t know it was you. I was trying to get my hater to take down the video.”
“Wait,” Audra snapped. “You were txting AnyLies? Why would you do that?”
“To be honest? I thought it was you, Audy.”
Ailey burst out laughing. Not in a comical way, but like in a she-might-go-for-my-eyes kind of way. Audra stepped back. The outside streetlights cast a sickly pallor on Ailey’s face.
“Of course,” she said. “Of course you’d still never see me. All those txts we sent each other? It was just like old times. Don’t you remember how we stayed up until two a.m. txting? You think Audra would ask you if your friendships were good for you? Don’t you see? I believed you were innocent before any of them. I tried to help you. I dug around online and told you there were other girls. But did you thank me? No, instead you got famous.” She laughed. “You’re indestructible, Kyla Cheng. And that means you’ll probably never get it.”
“Get what, Ailey?”
But she just stared blankly into space. I was at a loss for words. I hadn’t intentionally hurt Ailey all those years ago, but I guess I’d known she had to be hurting. But it wasn’t like I’d been her only friend. She’d had those swim-team girls. And then she’d found Ellie. Was it my responsibility to make sure she made it through high school?
But Ailey was right. She’d believed me when I’d told her it wasn’t me in the video. Instantly. Her AnyLies txts had filled in all the gaps that Audra’s lack of txts had left in my life this past week. In her own weird way, Ailey had stepped up. And if I had done the same all those years back, even a little, we probably wouldn’t be here right now.
I tried again. “Jessie and I spoke on the bus ride back from Philly.”
I’d sent her a txt that said,
moi Sorry I = psycho. But I know it’s not you who’s been doing this. I know who is. Mind running over some things with me? Know this isn’t great for you either. Truce?
She’d called me—voice called me—immediately.
“Jessie said she never posted those videos. That she doesn’t even own @JessieRosenthal. All her profiles are under @DarkEnchantress. I’m guessing it was you who organized that flash mob via Regrets Only? It was you who was in the locker room at the Y?”
Ailey rocked forward a little, nodded. “Catching the fight was just a lucky coincidenc
e. I was going to surprise Ellie and walk her home. And then I heard Ellie say that Jessie was her best friend. And I knew. It was happening again.”
“What was happening again, Ailes?” Audra asked.
“I was losing her. Ellie this time, I mean. Once again, I was falling out of my best friend’s graces.”
It felt like the entire dining room was one giant screen and we were watching Ailey’s avatar. There wasn’t an ounce of emotion in her voice. I never expected Ailey to put up much of a fight, but I also wasn’t expecting this toneless, dronelike honesty. Audra and I were transfixed.
“Ellie clarified and said Jessie was only one of her best friends,” I said as gently as possible.
“I guess that makes everything okay, then, does it?” Ailey tilted her head to regard me. “Do you even know what true friendship is, Kyle? I don’t think so. Every time I was around Fawn, she was doodling your brother’s name—you’re welcome for sharing those, B-T-W. Mac’s out slurping it up with other girls, letting me be all handsy with him in the hall. Even Audra—sorry, Senpai—she knew I took those pics of you with Mr. E. We were shooting B&P when I saw you check in at those apartments. We even searched the building together, squealed when Mr. E.’s name was listed as a resident. It was her idea to drive all the way out there. Audra sat next to me as I snapped away.”
Audra shook herself a little, surprised to be dragged into it. She cleared her throat, took a sip of water. Reluctantly her eyes left Ailey and met mine.
“I was concerned,” she said. “I thought you might be in trouble.”
I snorted. “You’d never drive half an hour to anywhere, especially somewhere like Brighton Beach, out of concern. Oh my gosh, Audy, you never did believe me, did you? You were trying to bust me.”
“Sharma said there was no way someone could make that video.” Audra sounded as exhausted as I felt. “I didn’t see how it couldn’t be you. Even when you ‘found’ the source video, next second it mysteriously disappeared? I believed someone was after you. But, no, I didn’t for one second believe that wasn’t you. And then when Ailey said you were at Mr. E.’s, I thought catching you in a secret might make you less high and mighty when I told you mine. Guess I was wrong.”
For once she wasn’t being nasty. All our fury had been burned away by Ailey’s bizarre monotone speech. So I nodded, like, Fair enough. Audra’s expression became less pinched. We almost reconciled right then. I could imagine after Ailey went home we’d go upstairs to rehash this very fight, but then something occurred to me.
“Wait. So then you knew it was Ailey. She took those Mr. E. pics Sunday night and posted them on the Student Activities board under AnyLies. That was on Monday. You’ve known for almost three days now.”
Audra’s lips pressed together. She fiddled with one of her ridiculous diamond studs.
“I’ve had real-life creeps stalking me because of all of this, Audra. Every organization I’m a part of dropped me from their contacts. All the parents I babysit for think I’m a tramp.” My anger was full-on back. “Ailey submitted my college apps, Audra, and you knew.”
“This isn’t about her!”
Ailey pounded a fist on the table. I’d never seen her look so furious. Not when Coach DiPietro suspended her from a swim meet in the sixth grade because she was too competitive. Not when Moon Li called her hair a gutter weave in eighth grade. Both those times Ailey was angry. Now, she looked…crazed.
“Audra knew I was AnyLies because I told her. I told her how satisfying it was to watch you get your comeuppance. I didn’t do this so I could buy a car. I did it to completely humiliate you. Guess I’m not the only one who doesn’t change her passwords. Hiii, Harvard.”
“You ruined my life because I too abruptly stopped being your friend years ago?”
Ailey gave a tiny laugh. Tears welled in her eyes. Her voice quavered, finally carrying some emotion in it. I’d never wanted to hurt someone so much in my entire life.
“I did it,” Ailey snapped, “so you could see how it feels. Knowing that the people you thought loved you best—Mac, Fawn, Sharma, your brother, Audra—aren’t at all who you think they are. Or did you all just ‘grow apart’ this past week?” Ailey snorted. “We ‘grew apart,’ Kyle? You ‘too abruptly’ stopped being my friend? We were best friends for nine years—nine years—and do you know after Audra came up to you in the cafeteria freshman year, you never called me, not even once, ever again?”
Audra gasped, like this was the most shocking fact of today.
“That can’t be true,” I said.
“Trust me,” Ailey laughed tearfully, “it is. At first, I figured once the girls knew you, and once you were settled with them, you’d, I-D-K, pull me along. It wasn’t so that I could become popular. I could give two swipes about being popular. It felt like my Doc crashed. We spent every click of our time together for nine years, and then you suddenly stepped away. It was like you died, but worse, because I could still see you. Or maybe it was like I died, because I could see you, but you didn’t see me anymore.
“Who do you confide in”—Ailey was sobbing now—“when the person you told everything to won’t answer your calls? You used to come over to my house two or three times a day. Whenever you were upset or bored or you just wanted to raid the cupboards, I was there for you. After Audra, you’d pass me in the halls and not even say hi. I knew you weren’t doing it to be mean, but I wished you were. At least then I’d have known I did something to make this happen. Or that I at least mattered enough for you to despise me.
“I didn’t have a few lonely months, Kyle. When you dropped me, my life dropped. They put me on antidepressants.”
Ailey shook her head, fought for a smile, sobbed in her breath. Audra tentatively rubbed Ailey’s arms, as if she was trying to warm her up. Audra wouldn’t look at me. But Ailey couldn’t stop.
“Thanks, pookie,” Ailey hiccupped. “I’m okay.”
I should have listened to my mom. Her experience was from Ailey’s perspective. Only someone I’d irreparably damaged could have wanted to ruin me so badly. None of what Ailey was saying I’d done had been intentional, but that didn’t mean I was innocent. Audra was right. I did deserve this—all of it.
“It doesn’t matter,” Ailey continued. “I’m better now. Because then Ellie came along the end of freshman year and saved me. Unlike you, Ellie is a good, loyal friend. She told me how sweet I was, how much fun she had with me, how indispensable I was. I mean, she slapped you for me.
“And then she and Jessie met in some troubled-teens therapy group, and suddenly Jessie ‘got’ Ellie the way no one else did, and suddenly Jessie was Ellie’s top contact. And Ailey wasn’t good enough again. At least I can rationalize you dumping me for the girls, but Jessie is awful. I don’t know why Ellie can’t see it. I mean, if I don’t equal better than Jessie Rosenthal…”
Ailey wiped her nose on one of the Parents’ fancy napkins. She immediately apologized.
“So when I stumbled across that vid on the faculty wall—I was doing research for a piece I was making on Ms. Valtri, FYI—I didn’t know it was fake. I just knew you needed it exposed. I was going to take it down that very afternoon. But then not only did you come to my house—to blame me—but when I invited you to dinner, you looked so disgusted by the mere thought of sitting down to a meal with us…and then later that night when I txted, offering help, you blocked me. And I knew you hadn’t learned your lesson.
“AnyLiesUnmade was perfect. It was all a lie, your whole life. I almost posted the flash mob under AnyLies, but then I saw the two-birds-with-one-stone beauty of it all. Maybe Jessie didn’t post those vids about you, but I mean, hello, who spends their time making stalky ‘human projects’? With a little help from me, Ellie would have to see what a nightmare Jessie was.
“Except it didn’t work. Ellie hated that flash mob in the hall, all right. She and Jessie had a huge fight about it. Ellie voice called me, sobbing about it. But they made up, like, one click later. And I knew all-ca
ps-to-period FRIENDSHIP IS THE BIGGEST LIE OF ALL. No one actually cares about their friends; they just care about how their friends make them feel, what their friends can do for them. I mean, you’re the perfect example, Kyle. You want to change the world, but you don’t give two craps about the people trying to survive in it.”
I looked to Audra for help. She was biting her thumbnail, trying not to cry.
“I don’t know what to say,” I said. “You’re wrong, Ailes. I did care. I still do.”
“No, I cared.” She sniffled a laugh. “I cared enough to hate you.”
This wasn’t supposed to be how it turned out. I was supposed to feel victorious. This was supposed to be my win. Instead I felt dirtier than the first time I watched the Mr. E. video. I was too dumbfounded to offer any kind of rebuttal or apology. I just wanted to get out. Out from under Ailey’s glare, out of this house, out of my own skin.
Without any fanfare or celebration, I held my finger down on the Mr. E. video file on Ailey’s Doc. On the wallpaper screen we all watched as the file quivered for a click and then disappeared when I selected delete. I quick checked my G-File. It was still a mess of links and nasty comments, but now they led to an error message—Content Deleted. The video was gone. I’d deleted it from Ailey’s Doc. I’d won.
I’d never in my life felt more miserable.
“Sorry. I’m just gonna go.”
Giving Ailey a squeeze, Audra said, “I’ll walk Kyle out.”
Snuffling, Ailey nodded. I silently got up to leave. When I was at the door, Ailey called out, “Scarred or worshipped, isn’t that what you always said, Kyle? Welcome to being scarred.”
Out on Audra’s stoop, it took us a few clicks to know where to begin. The lingering deadness of Ailey’s voice had wafted outside with us.