by Hebby Roman
Her father had acquaintances and business associates in town. His firm had sent flowers, and several of his staff had dropped by for very short visits. A few of her fellow graduate students and coworkers had visited during the first few days, too. But none of these people were what she would call friends. She didn’t even have a close girlfriend.
There was no one she could turn to, no one to help her, no one to comfort her and listen to her fears. Stunned, she came to the frightening realization of how alone in the world she was. And her loneliness only heightened the fear of losing her father.
But she’d made this particular bed for herself, and now she must lie in it, as her mother would have said. If she didn’t have friends, it was no one’s fault but her own. She’d never taken the time to cultivate relationships because she’d been too busy proving herself a dutiful daughter, too busy following her father’s dictates.
When her mother died, Adriana’s world had collapsed. She’d been very close to her mother, who had lavished unconditional love on her. But when she’d turned to her father to fill the void, she’d learned he was different. His love wasn’t something to be freely given. It was a precious commodity that you earned.
She knew about her father’s failure and subsequent sacrifices for his family, and she’d tried to please him, needing his acceptance and love. But no matter what she did, it had never been enough. With every prize she’d laid at his feet, he’d urged her to climb higher, try harder.
That was when the seed of doubt had begun to grow. She’d begun to believe that his life had been ruined, cut short, because he’d put aside his ambitions to support his family, and that he resented his family because he’d never realized his dream.
She hadn’t wanted to repeat his mistakes, so she’d embraced his view of the world, believed that success was the only important thing and that people and relationships weren’t worth the trouble.
By not needing people, she’d isolated herself, just as her father had, isolated herself to the point of nothingness. Now there was no one. No one she could turn to, no one to help, and no one who could understand the pain she was going through.
Except.
Rafael haunted her. She remembered his warm, brown eyes and the way he laughed. She recalled the touch of his fingertips brushing her face, and the way he ran his fingers through his hair when he was nervous. Every hour of every day since her father had been admitted, she’d fought the images of him that her mind conjured, fought and struggled with them like demons that needed to be exorcised.
She couldn’t ask him to help her—it wouldn’t be fair, not when she knew the way he felt about her and when she’d already rejected him. But his final words wouldn’t go away, no matter how hard she prayed, no matter how hard she tried to blot them out.
I just want you to know, always know, that you’re loved. And if you should ever need my help, I’ll always be here for you.”
A sob rose to her throat, and her eyes burned with unshed tears. She covered her face with her hands again, not wanting anyone to see her distress. How could she have walked away from him? How could she have thrown away his love?
Love and loving were the most important things in the world—not success, not ambition, and certainly not making money. Without love, nothing else mattered.
She rose to her feet and wiped the tears from her eyes and assured the night nurse that she would return within the hour.
#
The drive to Rafael’s townhouse seemed to take forever, but that wasn’t surprising. Cloistered within the walls of the hospital for so long, Adriana had lost track of time.
Glancing at the very functional and imminently practical digital watch on her wrist, a gift from her father for her last birthday, she read the lighted dial. It was the sixth of June. She breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn’t bothered with times or dates when she’d hurried from the hospital, and she was in her car before she realized Rafael might not have moved to Las Vegas yet, but he’d said he’d be here by the first of June.
Now she prayed that he’d be at home. Glancing at her watch again, she saw it was almost three in the morning. He must be home at this time of night.
She’d managed to get lost, though she thought she remembered where the townhouse was. Wandering around the southeast side of Las Vegas, she cursed herself for not having paid closer attention.
Then she saw it, the stucco and tile-roofed townhouse she remembered. She glimpsed a pile of neatly stacked moving boxes outside with the garbage and knew this had to be his place. She turned her car into the driveway and shut off the engine. She sat there for a few moments in the dark, filled with trepidation, wondering how he would receive her.
She shut her eyes, and allowed herself to remember how he was: his gentleness, his caring, and his understanding. How could she doubt him? Her eyes flew open.
She wrenched open the car door and sprinted to the townhouse’s entrance. Pounding on the door, she called out to him, sobbing his name over and over.
Chapter Ten
Rafael struggled to pull on his pants. He glanced at the clock on his nightstand and saw that it was after three in the morning. Who would be pounding on his door at this hour? Hell, he didn’t even know anyone in Vegas yet.
When he threw open the front door, Adriana fell into his arms, sobbing and clinging to him. He was stunned, but it was one of the nicest surprises he’d had in a long time. His arms tightened around her, and he held her close, stroking her hair and murmuring soothing words. He didn’t know what he was comforting her about but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was she’d come to him.
After a few minutes, her tears subsided into hiccoughs, and then she quieted. He wanted to know what was wrong, but he could be patient. Holding her in his arms wasn’t exactly a sacrifice.
He’d missed her. And he’d thought about her all the time. When he’d moved to Vegas, he kept thinking he saw her everywhere: walking across campus, driving along the Strip, steering a grocery cart at the local A&P. But to find her on his doorstep in the middle of the night was beyond his wildest dreams.
She lifted her head, and he feathered a kiss of greeting across her mouth. Her lips opened beneath his, and she responded eagerly to his kiss. Holding her and kissing her again and having her kiss him back was his craziest fantasy come true.
What had happened? What had changed?
He had to know, so he broke their kiss and leaned back. He raised his hand and gently wiped away the tears on her cheeks.
“What’s wrong, Adriana? I’m happy to see you, but it’s kind of late for a social call. Not that I’m complaining,” he added quickly. “You’re welcome anytime but ...” He hesitated. “Why are you crying? What happened?” He took her arm. “Here, come into the living room and have a seat. Would you like some coffee?”
She perched on the edge of the sofa. “No, no coffee. But thanks for asking. And I’m sorry it’s so late. These past few weeks, day and night have kind of run together for me. I hope you don’t have to be up early tomorrow.”
“That’s okay. Tomorrow’s Saturday.”
He sat down beside her, having decided he could forego the coffee, too. When he put his arm around her, she nestled against him. He could scarcely believe it. This wasn’t the cool and distant Adriana he remembered, the woman with more barriers than a steeplechase race. But that was okay, he could definitely get used to the new Adriana.
She shook her head. “I didn’t even know what day it was.”
He kissed the top of her head. “What are you trying to tell me? Take your time.”
She took a deep breath and then she explained everything in a rush of words: her father’s heart attack and his fluctuating condition, her vigil at his bedside, all her fears and doubts and worries.
“I had a lot of time on my hands to think, Rafael. And I was so lonely. There was no one to help me.”
She gazed up at him and tentatively touched his lips with her fingertips. New tears shimmered at the corners
of her eyes. He didn’t want to see her cry again. Bending his head, he kissed them away.
She pulled apart from him with a sigh. “You were right, Rafael. There’s not anything more important than family and having people who care about you. Without that we’re nothing.”
He was stunned by her change of heart. Had she really changed so much in such a short time? It was hard to believe but then she’d been through a life-changing event, almost losing her father. And it must have touched her to the core of her being. A tiny flame of hope flared in his heart. Hope that the change in Adriana was real and ... lasting.
She lifted her arms up and put them around his neck and kissed him. Her kiss seared his soul. When she pulled away, she said, “Thank you for caring about me. For being here. I have no one else.”
“You’ll always have me. You can’t get rid of me.”
She laughed. It was a tentative sound, but it carried a note of hope he was clinging to.
And despite the awful circumstances that had wrought this change in her, from a selfish perspective, he wanted to laugh right with her, whoop with jubilation, and howl at the moon with joy. He wanted to carry her off into his bedroom and make wild and abandoned love to her. And he wanted to go down on one knee and propose.
But now wasn’t the time, not with her father in the hospital in critical condition and Adriana worried about him. Now what she needed was someone to be there for her, someone she could lean on for comfort.
“Let’s go to the hospital,” he said.
Her indigo eyes widened. “You mean that? But you and my father—”
“That’s not important. What’s important is getting your father well.”
“Rafael, how can I ever thank you?”
“You don’t need to think me, Adriana. This is what people do when they care about each other.”
#
When Adriana looked at Rafael, sitting patiently beside her father’s bed, her heart swelled in her chest. Tears filled her eyes and burned at the back of her throat. Since the first time she’d seen her father in the ICU, she hadn’t cried. She’d clung to her outward composure—until tonight. But tonight she’d made up for weeks of not crying, knowing there was someone who could help her, who would stand by her. She’d broken down and allowed herself to vent all the pain and helplessness she’d been going through.
And now, she felt like crying again. She rubbed at her eyes. It was a different kind of crying, this time, a bittersweet emotion because Rafael had touched her heart with his selflessness, with his infinite capacity for caring and with his unconditional love.
She couldn’t help but remember that awful scene between her father and Rafael. And she’d been stunned when he’d offered to sit with her father while she went home and rested. His compassion and understanding had struck a deep chord within her, arousing feelings she hadn’t had since her mother was alive.
It was at that moment that she finally accepted his love, finally believed that he loved her. And she knew she loved him, too. It was a humbling feeling, receiving this wondrous gift from a man and wanting to return it with all her heart and soul and body. With Rafael beside her, she could face any future. And their lives would always be rich, if not in material things, then in other ways that mattered more ... so much more.
Her mother would have approved of Rafael. As the realization dawned on her, she
wondered where the thought had come from. For a split second in time, she felt her mother’s spirit very close, guiding her. Then the feeling was gone, as quickly as it had come.
She pulled the little green plastic frog from her pocket and stared at it.
“What’s that?” Rafael asked.
“I guess you could say he’s my personal talisman,” she replied. “Puerto Rico has these unusual frogs, called coquís, and their croak is quite musical, like they’re singing. And Puerto Rico is the only place in the world where you can find them.” She closed her hand around the coquí. My mother gave me this little frog a long time ago, and I always keep him with me.”
“It makes you feel closer to your mother, doesn’t it?” he asked.
“How did you know?”
He shrugged. “Just a guess. I’m glad you have something that makes you feel close to her. I would have liked to meet her. She sounds like a wonderful lady.”
Her chin trembled. She put the frog back in her pocket. “She was. Yes, she was.”
He smiled. “Hey, get outta here. Go home and rest. The nurse will be here in a couple of minutes to shoo us out anyway.” He glanced at her father. “But I’ll be just around the corner. We’ll be fine.”
Gulping back more tears, she nodded and crossed to the door.
#
During the next three days, Rafael took turns with her, staying at the hospital. He managed to work around his lecture schedule, and even brought papers to grade while he sat with her father. Adriana began to feel like a human being again, having the time to sleep and eat and change her clothes without rushing. And with each passing day, her love for Rafael grew and deepened.
Then after all the waiting, after all the long days and weeks of frustration, everything happened at once. Her father regained consciousness and turned the corner. Adriana and he wept together, clinging to each other. He was still weak and slept a great deal, but they unhooked some of the machines and started letting him eat real food.
Juan arrived from L.A. and consulted with Dr. Davenport. They moved her father from ICU to a regular hospital room. And through it all, Rafael stayed beside her, as much as his work would allow, a comforting and solid presence.
Her brother accepted Rafael, and seemed to like him. Her father also acknowledged him and spoke with Rafael briefly. With her brother’s help, she relieved Rafael of his bedside vigils so he could catch up on the work he’d been neglecting.
Dr. Davenport told her that he wanted her father to rest for several days and eat solid food to regain his strength. After her father grew stronger, the doctor explained, he would perform a quadruple bypass operation.
Then the doctor took her to one side and outlined the procedure. He tried to reassure her with statistics about the high success rate of bypass operations. And he finally committed himself, telling her it was his professional opinion that her father would make a complete recovery and live a long and full life.
She thanked the doctor and started to hope again, really hope. When she asked her brother for his opinion, she was comforted to learn that Juan had already discussed the operation with Dr. Davenport and agreed with his prognosis.
All her prayers had been answered, and she’d been doubly blessed, discovering that the unconditional love Rafael felt for her was the most important thing in her life. And she’d finally realized how lucky she was and allowed herself to open up and love him back.
#
On the day of Miguel’s surgery, Adriana and Juan went early to the hospital. They stayed with their father during the pre-op preparations until he was wheeled into the operating room.
Dr. Davenport offered to have Juan observe the surgery, but her brother declined, saying he would rather stay with his sister in the waiting room. Rafael was at the university teaching his classes, but he’d promised to come after his last class was over.
The hours crept by for Adriana. Juan had already warned her that a quadruple bypass would take several hours. She and Juan tried to eat lunch in the cafeteria but only managed to pick at their food.
When they returned to the waiting room, Rafael was there. He greeted them both and then swept her up in a crushing hug, whispering words of reassurance to her.
Then the nurse came in and announced that the operation was over. Dr .Davenport followed soon after, still dressed in his soiled scrubs. With his face wreathed in smiles, he declared the operation a success. Excited and jubilant, the three of them exchanged kisses and hugs. Adriana even felt the need to kiss Doctor Davenport, which made him grin.
They paced the floor for another hour, waiting for
the anesthetic to wear off so they could see Miguel. When the nurse finally returned and told them they could visit for a few minutes, Adriana and Juan rushed from the waiting room.
Half-way down the corridor, Adriana realized Rafael wasn’t with them. Turning back, she found him sitting in the waiting room, leafing through a dog-eared magazine.
“Aren’t you coming?” she asked.
He raised his head and smiled. “Not this time. Maybe tomorrow. You and Juan will be enough excitement for today. But I’ll wait here for you.”
“Well, okay. Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
She sprinted down the corridor again and entered her father’s room. Juan was standing beside him, holding his hand. She went to her father’s other side and gingerly put her arms around him, bending down to kiss him.
“The doc told me I should be able to go home in a few days,” her father said, shaking his head. “Hard to believe, but it sounds wonderful to me. Can’t wait to get out of here and go home.” He paused and there was a mischievous glint in his eye. “There’s one nurse, the full-figured one with red hair that kind of reminds me of your mother. I might miss her, though.”
Adriana hid her smile behind one hand. She couldn’t believe he’d just said what he’d said—it wasn’t like him. He’d never dated after losing her mother. But it was definitely a hopeful sign. “Oh, Papá, we’re so happy. You don’t know how worried we were. But if you’re ogling the nurses, you must be feeling better,” she teased.
“Hey, it’s good to be alive. Made me realize what’s important, and there’s going to be some changes when I’m back to full speed.” He returned her smile and asked, “Where’s Rafael?”
Surprised at her father’s new attitude and that he would ask for Rafael, she replied, “He’s in the waiting room. He thought Juan and I would be enough strain for now.”
“Bring him here,” her father said. “I want to talk with the two of you. No time like the present. Life is short.”
She glanced across at Juan and lifted her eyebrows. Her brother shrugged and offered to get coffee for everyone, except the patient.