by Meta Smith
“She told me she and this other girl, Shelle, worked at this strip club, Sue’s Rendezvous. They had things all worked out with the guards and managers and stuff. Tasha said she could hook me up with a fake birth certificate so I could get a real ID. Then I could work at the club. They always seemed to have plenty of money. I wanted out, and Tasha was offering me the way. I figured, what harm would it do? I’d just do it long enough to save up for a few months’ rent on a place in Miami till I found the Lopezes, maybe get a car, and pay for college. I figured six months max and I’d be ready to roll. In my eyes it was a do-or-die situation. Once I turned eighteen, Morristown was going to turn me out to the streets with not a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out. I had to start thinking about my future because it was clear to me that no one else was.”
“What was it like, being so young?” Ginger asked Dez. “You had to be scared. It must have been awful for you. I remember how disgusted I was when I first started dancing.”
“At first I felt degraded. It was embarrassing to be half naked in front of strange men. They said some of the nastiest, foulest shit I’d ever heard in my life. I couldn’t believe that there were bigger pigs in the world than Ernesto. They would lick their crusty lips, leer at me, and touch themselves. And, of course, they tried to touch me. It thoroughly disgusted me. But when I got my first taste of money, it was like crack. I was addicted, and there was no going back. Gone was the disgust and shame. Suddenly, nothing I did felt too low, as long as I got my high in the end, my dough. But there was something else. There was the rush of power I felt when a man stared at me, longing to touch me, and both of us knowing that he couldn’t without paying the consequences. These men could have chosen any other woman in the club to dance for them, but they chose me. They could be out spending money on their wives, girlfriends, or even on themselves. But they chose to give it to me, all because of an illusion.
It was a game to me, playing pretend. I pretended to be interested in their weak conversation. I laughed at their corny jokes and told them how cute and smart they were. Sometimes I was a total bitch. It didn’t matter. It was like they couldn’t help themselves. In the end I always got paid.”
“But Dewante was your first trick, wasn’t he?” Ginger asked.
“Yeah, but I would have had sex with him for free. Now, imagine what that would have done to me! I’d be scarred for life. I used to have a huge crush on him. I’d have been ruined when I found out that this guy I thought was the business liked it in the butt. Besides, if it hadn’t been for that trick, I wouldn’t have met you. And I don’t know where I would have been if I hadn’t met you. I mean, honestly, think of how low-budget I would have been!” Dez laughed.
“I feel like I was a bad influence.” Ginger looked filled with guilt. “Don’t. You didn’t make me do anything. It wasn’t my first situation
like that, where I was faced with temptation. If anything, that whole episode went down because the price just happened to be right. Money can tempt even the strongest of people. Greed is natural, even if it is wrong. Come on, twenty-five hundred dollars? Who wouldn’t go there?” “I guess you’re right,” Ginger said. “So you came to Miami looking for
Mr. Lopez.”
“Yeah. One Sunday morning, after I had been stripping for nearly four months, me, Tasha, and Shelle were sitting in the TV room watching football. The camera scanned the crowd and stopped on a group of wives chilling in the stands watching their men ball. The commentator remarked on how lovely they all were, and I agreed, but they weren’t any prettier than me. I eyed their perfect hairdos, their artfully made-up faces, their fancy fur coats, and their blinding diamonds. The shot only lasted a few seconds, but for me it was an eternity. It was like I saw my destiny laid out ahead of me.
“I was going to end up with a man like the football players I saw on TV. That’s why I wanted a baller so bad. Fuck bumping and grinding for perverts in strip clubs. I’d never have to struggle again. My man would pamper me and spoil me, and maybe someday I’d have children of my own. Everyone would respect me and envy me. I pictured a fancy house with a swimming pool and gardens and a maid to cook and clean for me. My kids would know nothing but the best, never suffering. If I married a guy like that instead of linking up with some loser like Ernesto, I could be a good mom, a good woman.
“When they happened to mention that the Super Bowl was in Miami, I saw it as providence. Tasha and Shelle told me some girls from Sue’s
were gonna dance at the Rolexxx. So I came up with the plan to make money and find Mr. Lopez. Instead I found you. I just packed my stuff a little bit at a time and either took it to the club or stashed it in my locker at school, since I wasn’t keeping any books in there, and I bounced,” Dez concluded.
“Girl, you are so blessed you can’t even see it. But I can. Anything could have happened to you! Your little fast behind probably should have been dead. But now you’re a success. You should be proud of yourself.”
“But I’ve done so many things that I’m not proud of. Besides the tape, I slept with Sparks. Here I am, supposedly in love, and I can’t keep my legs closed for the man’s brother,” Dez confided.
“How the hell did that happen?”
“Well, you know how it goes. I was feeling all vulnerable and sad over Bentley, and Sparks was there to listen. One thing led to another...”
“And you let him hit it.” “You got it.”
“But it was a one-time thing, right?” Ginger asked.
“Not exactly. There was the first time, there was New Year’s Eve, there was All-Star Weekend...” Dez rattled off their encounters.
“Well, when was the last time it happened?” Ginger wanted to know “Right before I invited you out here,” Dez admitted.
“You’re kidding, right?” Ginger inquired. Dez shook her head.
“No wonder he left town. Obviously, dude’s head is messed up. Desi, you gotta slow your roll. If you want Bentley, you have to commit to that, but if you want Sparks, you need to admit to that.”
“Well, that’s not all. Sparks had been kicking it with my so-called friend Leilani. She used to model with me, and then she moved to behind the scenes. She’s always been kind of a hater, but aside from you, she was the only person I ever really let into my life in Miami. We had been beefing really ugly over Bentley, and when I got my deal, she started acting really funky. She was a production assistant on the video, then she got bumped up to assistant director by Sparks. We kind of clashed on the set, so when Bentley confronted me about the tape, I just knew she was the one who had set me up, and I kicked her ass.”
“No, you didn’t!” Ginger doubled over in laughter. Dez smirked. “Yeah, I did. Real bad.”
“You oughta be ‘shamed! So what’s the deal with her now?” Ginger asked, still chuckling.
“I don’t know. Sparks said she was cool, but he wasn’t feeling her, he was feeling me.”
“You believe that?” Ginger became serious.
“Of course! Why wouldn’t he? I am me, after all,” Dez joked.
“You better be careful. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” Ginger warned her young friend.
“I ain’t worried about her. I’m worried about K.G., my old sponsor.” Dez realized that her life was an even more tangled mess than she’d first thought. Bentley, Sparks, Leilani, K.G.–all of them were pissed at her for some reason or other.
“Why? What’s up with him?”
“He’s been paging me off the hook. He’s starting to get a little scary. I tried to end it, but he keeps saying shit like I can’t escape him. It’s been like five months! I told him that it was over, I needed to focus on my career, I couldn’t give him what he needed, he deserved more than me, it wasn’t him it was me, blah blah blah.”
“Why not tell the truth, Dez? Lies have already gotten you into so much trouble,” Ginger advised.
“What? Tell him I never felt anything for him, that I played him and used him for his loot? Ginny, he’s a str
eet-type nigga. You gotta be real careful with them, you know what I mean?”
“Oh yeah. I feel you. So what are you gonna do?”
“He claims to be giving me some space. But eventually, I may have to get a restraining order.”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that. He isn’t saying he’s going to hurt you or anything, is he?”
“No, but I still get this funny feeling.” Dez couldn’t articulate it, but something didn’t sit right with her and K.G.
“Well, relax, girl. It sounds like K.G. is the least of your worries. He’s miles away. What about the here and now? What are you gonna do about this brother situation?” Ginger figured that Dez needed to deal with what was on her plate and not worry about what was for dessert.
“I have no idea. I dig Sparks, I really do, but in more of a big brother kind of way. My heart belongs to Bentley. I can’t explain it. It was like love at first sight. He’s who I want. What I feel for Sparks is more like a crush or gratitude.”
“Is this going to affect your career? There could be some fallout if Sparks decides to confess to his brother. Or what if he starts forcing you to keep doing it? He could blackmail you. He knows all your business, plus he signs your checks.”
“I don’t know. Sparks is cool, plus he doesn’t want to hurt his brother. I’m pretty sure that he’ll keep his mouth shut. I still love Bentley. So I’m
going to make sure that what happened before, never happens again. I’ve got to make this work out. I’m not ready to give up on Bentley.”
They were interrupted by the intercom alerting them a visitor was on the premises.
“I wonder who that can be,” Dez pondered aloud. “I’m not expecting anyone. And no one ever comes all the way out here unannounced.”
“Only one way to find out!” Ginger instructed her. ‘’Answer the door.
I’m nosy!”
Ginger followed Dez into the foyer to look at the closed-circuit TV that monitored the house. It couldn’t be!
“It can’t be!” Dez exclaimed.
“Who is it?” Ginger peered at the monitor. “It’s Bentley!”
CHAPTER 21
S
PARKS WAS CONSUMED WITH GUILT. HE HAD MIXED business and pleasure as well as betrayed his brother. He knew he’d
crossed a line that never should have been crossed, but he couldn’t resist Dez. Now he was falling in love with her! He knew she didn’t feel the same. It was obvious that she was still hung up on Bentley. What did he expect? He had known that what his brother and Dez had shared was real. He knew his brother. And he never wanted to hurt him, but he couldn’t help but covet such a prized possession as Dez. He’d only wanted to experience her love for himself, even if it wasn’t real. Besides, Bentley was too young to give Dez what she needed. He was still into getting with groupies. Sparks could provide her with a home, a career, a sense of stability, more love than she had ever known, and he could buy her the world.
He was interrupted from his thoughts of Dez by the ringing of his cell phone.
“Hello?” he answered.
“Baby, it’s me, Lani. I haven’t heard from you in a few days. Is everything all right?” Leilani asked sweetly on the other end.
“Hey, Leilani. I’ve just been really busy. Me and Dez have been in the studio 24/7, trying to get this album out. And the announcement for the nominees of the BET Awards came out today. Bentley and Dez are up for
Best Rap Collabo.”
“So soon? The song and video have only been out a couple of months!” Leilani exclaimed.
“Yeah, can you believe it? It just made the cutoff. The awards are in June in Cali,” he informed her.
The BET Awards! Leilani thought. He better take me! L.A. is just where I need to be to network with the real Hollywood players.
“There you go, leaving me again. I’m never gonna get any time to spend with you. As it is, I already have to share you with Dez! I’m not good at sharing,” Leilani pouted, hoping he’d catch the hint and suggest that they spend time together in L.A.
“Uh, yeah. Well, you know...business is business,” Sparks stammered. He liked Leilani, but he knew in his heart that she wasn’t the one for him. She was far too jealous of Dez, although she had good reason. But moreover, he wasn’t stupid; he knew a sack chaser when he saw one. Leilani put on an excellent front, but her true colors were starting to show. She was always name-dropping and hinting at things she wanted him to buy for her or do for her. She also put on airs, trying to impress him, instead of being herself. She just didn’t get the fact that he would have given her far more than she could have ever schemed out of him. Dez was up-front and honest about what she expected, and he could respect her for that. And she was real, faults and all. It was just one of the reasons why he felt so strongly about her.
Why can’t I stop thinking about Dez? Sparks mused.
“Well, where are you?” Leilani said, snapping him out of his daydream. “Virginia. Had to holler at Missy about some tracks,” explained, silently debating whether he should just end their fling now and get it
over with.
“Think you can make it down here? Just for a day or two?” Leilani pleaded. She’d whip some good loving on him, and then it would be the BET Awards for her.
“Yeah, I think I can manage that. I’ve got something I want to talk to you about anyway,” Sparks told her. Leilani felt a rush of excitement. Sparks was probably going to make their relationship more “official.” Leilani began to plan what she was going to wear to the ceremony.
“Okay. Well, I’ll call you with the details a little bit later. I’ve gotta run,” Sparks finished.
“Okay, honey. I’ll see you soon.” Leilani hung up the phone, satisfied and confident.
That settles it, Sparks thought. I’m gonna break it off with Leilani. If I can’t
have Dez, I don’t want anyone.
“IT’S BENTLEY!” DEZ EXCLAIMED. “WHAT SHOULD I DO?” SHE
squawked, running around the foyer like a chicken with its head cut off. “Go upstairs, fix your hair, and put on some makeup. I’ll handle
Bentley,” Ginger instructed. Dez hesitated.
“Girl, what little game you got, you got from me! You love Bentley, right? You want your man back, right?” Ginger asked her with her hands on her hips.
“Hell yeah!” Dez declared.
“Well, then, get your butt upstairs. I’ll buzz him in. Don’t come downstairs until I tell you to.”
Dez took the steps three at a time, nearly tripping when she got to the top. She ran with haste to her bedroom.
Ginger looked in the mirror by the door after pressing the buzzer that opened the gate. She fluffed her hair, smoothed her clothes, and answered the door with a Martha Stewart smile.
“Why, you must be Bentley.” She grasped his hand and shook it firmly before gently pulling him inside.
“The one and only. But I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you. Are you a friend of my brother’s?” He grinned at her flirtatiously. Although Ginger was much more conservative-looking, she was still a dimepiece.
“No. I’m Ginger. I’m Dez’s sister.” Bentley’s smile faded immediately. “Where’s my brother?” Bentley asked impatiently, his tone ice-cold. “Your brother is out of town, but there’s no reason to be funky with
me, Bentley. I haven’t done anything to you.” Ginger looked Bentley squarely in the eyes. It would take more than some pretty boy with an attitude to intimidate her.
“Yo, I’ll be back when he comes home,” he announced, and turned to leave.
“Huh-uh. You’re coming in the kitchen, and you’re gonna sit down and talk to me,” Ginger commanded. Bentley looked at her, but before he could object, Ginger was dragging him to the kitchen table.
“You got a lotta balls to be ordering me around in my brother’s house,” he snarled.
“Yeah, so what’s your point?” Ginger threw his attitude back in his face. Lord, please don’t let this boy make me fo
rget I’m saved!
“Yeah, you Dez’s sister, all right!” Bentley laughed, softening.
“Well, yeah, I guess I am. You hungry?” Ginger asked him. ‘’A little.”
“Cool. I’ll fix you a plate. Want some sweet tea?” she asked him pleasantly. Men were so simple. A little food in their bellies made them putty in a woman’s hands.