by ammyford1
“What else have you lied to me about?” I said, raising my head to look him in the eyes.
“Nothing. I swear,” he said desperately.
I’m not sure I even recognised him. I turned away feeling like a robot. “Please don’t follow me,” I said flatly.
“Sophie, please.” His voice was a strangled cry. I held up my hand to him and started to walk away. I wasn’t sure at that point where I was going, all I knew was that Toby was safe and I needed to find some air.
I can remember thinking, what a clear, beautiful evening it was. I walked up the hill, inhaling the smell of the grass that had been warmed by the sun’s rays that day. It evoked that smell of the sun on Ahran that first time I had met him. How long ago had that been? I really couldn’t be sure. The last ten minutes had been so surreal, it made me doubt everything that had happened.
I had no idea whether the portal was still there but that’s where I found myself heading. Home seemed a distant reality and somehow I had to get there. I walked to the spot where I thought the portal was and took a few faltering steps forward. The gut-wrenching sickness gripped my stomach and I welcomed it. Within a few moments I was stumbling through my woods. I’m not sure how long it took me to get home, it could have been minutes, it could have been hours.
Chapter 27
I spent the next few days in suspended animation. It was like I had been cryogenically frozen and it was taking a while to thaw out. The problem was each time I thawed a little, I felt such heart shredding, gut tearing anguish that I simply wasn’t strong enough to deal with it and so I pressed the quick freeze button until I was numb again. I stayed in the house, acting like my own personal jailer. I kept the doors locked and the curtains pulled and ignored the phone each time it rang, which was pretty much on the hour, every hour, through the day and night until I ripped the plug out of the wall. When I could be bothered to eat I ate what hadn’t gone off in the cupboards. Ahran came a number of times, banging on the door. On one occasion, I sat on the other side listening to him calling my name, my mind and body numb. He could have easily kicked the door in but he chose not to.
I’m not really sure what went through my mind those first couple of days. I just remember feeling utterly betrayed. Ahran had lied to me. It wasn’t an inconsequential detail that had just slipped his mind, no, the man I loved, who I had begun to trust my future with, had caused the death of my precious sister and left her to die in a ditch. It was this rather weighty detail he had neglected to tell me.
It sounded like something on The Jeremy Kyle Show, a jaw dropping story you marvelled at disbelievingly but were secretly thankful that it was happening to someone else and not you. I spent most of the time sat on the sofa, lying on my bed staring at the ceiling or sleeping. Unfortunately, when I slept my guard was down and I dreamt a series of terrifying dreams involving castles and guns, being chased by faceless men, women in black dresses with red fingernails trying to gouge my eyes out and a dream home that burst into flames every time I put the key in the front door. Each time I woke up drenched in sweat, screaming Ahran’s name. The whole cycle was abhorrent and exhausting.
Eventually, the desire to talk to Toby overrode everything else I was feeling. He was the only thing in my life that came close to making any sense, even if he was half alien. I wanted to cling to him and prevent myself from drowning in my own personal sea of despair.
Where was the phone that Ahran had given me? He had wanted me to call him if I came across anyone suspicious. It turned out that the person I should have been most suspicious of was him. It was an uncomfortable irony. I had only used it once, the night Bennie had come over and we had called Ahran to check out whether he was for real. I grimaced. Ta da! Fake.
Perhaps the palace’s number was on it. I hurried downstairs wracking my brain as to where it was. I searched in all the obvious places and tried to think back to when I had last had it. It had been at the hospital after Audrey’s attack. I went to my coat hanging on the coat rack in the hallway and sure enough it was in the pocket.
Bingo! There were two numbers, the first was Ahran’s, the second read ‘Halsan’. The only person I wanted to talk to was Toby, I certainly didn’t want to talk to the King or Queen but before I could talk myself out of it I hit the dial button for the palace and a man’s voice I didn’t recognise answered.
“Oh hello, could I speak to Toby McAllister please?” I knew I probably wouldn’t be lucky enough to be put directly through to Toby but it was worth a try.
“Who is calling please?” asked the accented voice on the end of the line.
“Um, it’s Sophie McAllister.”
“One moment please.”
I waited some time.
“Hello Sophie, this is Sulaan.”
“Ah Sulaan, thank goodness. I would really like to talk to Toby, is he there?”
“Just hold on one minute.”
I rolled my eyes to the ceiling in frustration, was it always going to be this difficult to speak to him when he was staying at the palace.
After waiting an age I heard the line click.
“Sophie. How are you?”
It was Halsan. Tears of frustration began to sting my eyes. Was it too much to ask to speak to my nephew? I didn’t want to explain myself to anyone. “I’m fine thank you, can I speak to Toby?” I wasn’t in any condition for small talk.
“I’m afraid he has gone out with Ley.”
“I just want to know if he’s okay.” I was struggling to prevent the tears from betraying me. I missed him like crazy and felt terrible that I left him in the way that I had. Such was the shock I had felt after Talina’s disclosure I had barely known what I was doing. That evening and the last couple of days were such a blur.
“He’s absolutely fine, although he is really missing you and keeps asking when you are coming back.”
“I don’t think I will be coming back for a while. I think perhaps Toby ought to come home.” I knew it was a long shot.
“You know I can’t allow that to happen at the moment Sophie.”
My sob came out before I could stop it.
“Sophie, are you alright? Ahran told me you’d had a disagreement, surely it is something that can be resolved.”
I almost laughed. No, this was really something that could not be resolved, unless Ramians had the ability to bring the dead back to life.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk about it.” Could you please ask Toby to call me when he gets back?”
“Yes of course, as long as you are sure there isn’t anything else I can do.”
“No, I just want to speak to Toby.”
“Very well, take care Sophie, we shall speak again soon.”
“Goodbye.”
I threw myself onto the sofa cushions and sobbed my heart out. What of my life now? I had lost everything. I laid there for a long time. The last conversation I’d had with Ahran played over and over in my head. Why hadn’t he told me he had been to Hatherley a year ago?
The evening Katie had been killed Toby had been at a party and Katie had gone to collect him but never made it there. Her car had been found facing the opposite direction in a ditch about a mile out of the village. Why had Ahran been following her? And why had she turned around? Thinking back to that evening I searched for the answers to my questions. It all made very little sense. And then a thought occurred to me. There had been a wrapped present sat on the kitchen side. Toby must have forgotten to take it with him. Had Katie lost her life that night because she had turned back to get it? I wrapped my arms around myself as the events of that night came back with crystal clarity. Tears fell silently down my cheeks. The sense of loss I had felt the moment the doctors had told me they had been unable to save her, came back with such force, pressing down on my chest so painfully, that I hardly knew how to take my next breath. And then to learn that the man I thought I loved had been the cause of the accident and hadn’t told me, only amplified my anguish. I just wanted to be sucked down into
the earth, never to feel or be again.
I must have fallen asleep because I woke up cold and in the dark. As much as I never wanted to set foot in Ramia again, I knew if I wanted to see Toby I was going to have to go back. If he didn’t call this evening, I would call again tomorrow and arrange to visit him.
I switched the lamp on, went into the kitchen to advance the heating and switched the kettle on. I hadn’t had a cup of tea since I’d been back and I needed the reassuring feel of a mug of tea in my hands. There was a bitter nip in the air and the heating would provide no more than a background heat so whilst the kettle was boiling I laid a fire in the log burner and lit it. Unfortunately, there was a far colder chill at my core that I suspected even my wood burner would struggle to warm. I sat back on my heels and stared into the flames for a long time. Ahran had managed to rip a gaping hole in my chest and there was no band aid big enough to cover it. I feared it would never heal, that I would have to live the rest of my life with an open wound, a constant reminder of how I had lost everything. I closed my eyes and hung my head. Was breathing always going to be this difficult? I curled up in a ball on the rug in front of the fire, the kettle forgotten, and hugged myself, hoping the pressure would contain the pain, but the agony continued to pulse through me over and over again. For the first time in my life, I wondered whether it was really worth carrying on.
*****
I opened my eyes unsure of how long I had been lying on the rug. These moments of blackout had been a theme over the last few days. The fire had gone out and I stared at the cold black emptiness of the wood burner as it imitated what my life had become.
Suddenly, I felt an overwhelming urge to hear my best friend’s voice. I gingerly got to my feet, my bones feeling like they were a hundred years old. After plugging the phone back into the wall, I sat on the sofa and took a deep breath before dialling. After a few rings she picked up. I didn’t know what time it was, it could have been midnight for all I knew.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Bennie, it’s me.” My voice was flat.
“Sophie! Bloody hell! Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been so worried about you, why haven’t you called?”
I let her rant. She had every right to be angry with me after the worry I must have caused her. The last time I’d seen and spoken to her was when I had asked her to cover for me just after Toby had been kidnapped and before I bolted out of my back door leaving her sitting at my kitchen table wondering what on earth was going on.
“I am so sorry, it’s a very long story. I don’t suppose you are at your mum and dad’s?” I tried to sound like me but my voice sounded lifeless.
“No, I’m at my flat. Sophie, are you alright? Is it Toby?”
“Toby is fine.” I deliberately didn’t give her a rundown of my wellbeing. “I was hoping you were local.” I couldn’t face the idea of travelling up to London to see her.
“Well, as it happens I had planned to come home tomorrow, I suppose I could come down tonight?”
“Could you?” My voice broke and I started to cry.
“What has happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I lied.
“Thank God for that, I didn’t know what to think, I thought you’d been kidnapped or murdered.”
I gave a humourless chuckle. “No, I am alive.” I was at least that. “I’ll tell you everything once you get here.”
“I’ll be there in a couple of hours.”
For the first time since I had returned from Ramia I felt a glimmer of warmth. I hadn’t yet worked out what I was going to tell her but I had a couple of hours to think about it.
“Great, I’ll see you later.” I went to put the phone down.
“Sophie?”
I put the phone back to my ear.
“Yes?”
“Do the police know you’re home?”
“No, why?”
“There’s a warrant out for your arrest, they think you were involved in Toby’s kidnap.”
“Oh God, really?”
“You weren’t were you?” I could hear the edge of doubt in her voice.
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Have you found Toby?”
“Yes.”
“Thank God for that. Have you spoken to anyone else?”
“No, not yet.”
“Well don’t, as soon as anyone knows you are home the police will be knocking on your door. When I get there we can work out what to do.”
I wasn’t altogether surprised, the police were bound to be suspicious, first, Audrey’s attack, second, Toby’s disappearance and then my mysterious departure.
“Okay,” I replied and we both hung up.
I made sure the curtains were tightly shut. I needed to get my story straight before I spoke to the police. I went into the kitchen, the place was a tip. I glanced at the clock, it was nearly eight. I set about tidying up and used the time to think about what I was going to tell Bennie. I went upstairs to have a shower. I couldn’t remember if I had even cleaned my teeth over the last few days and it felt good to stand under the hot stream of water. I stood there for a long time, my feelings for Ahran on lock down and wondered if there would ever be a time when I’d feel strong enough to deal with them.
I dressed in my old tracksuit bottoms and a white t-shirt feeling the need to cling to anything that felt familiar. I went back downstairs and made a mug of tea and took it into the lounge. I decided it was probably best not to relight the fire and so I turned up the thermostat, sat on the sofa and wrapped my hands around the mug.
Should I tell her the whole story? She was my best friend and she had a right to know especially since I had left in such a hurry without any explanation. I wasn’t ready to tell her about Ahran, but I didn’t have a problem telling her about the search for Toby. The big question was did I tell her about Ramia?
I remembered the conversation I’d had with Halsan on the beach, he had made it very clear how much the Ramians valued their anonymity and if I told Bennie was I jeopardising their security? I knew I could rely on her, but was I threatening Toby’s security if I told anyone about Ramia? How much would MI5 like to know about a parallel universe? Toby would be a seriously interesting case. If I thought I had lost Toby now, he would be taken away from me for good if the government ever found out. I just couldn’t risk it. I loved and trusted Bennie, but for her and Toby’s sake Ramia would have to stay a secret. I decided to go with the foreign royal family story and just hoped she believed me.
There was a gentle knock on the back door.
I made my way to the door but hesitated.
“Sophie, it’s me,” Bennie whispered as if sensing my uncertainty.
I opened the door to my dear friend and we hugged each other tightly.
“It’s so good to see you Bennie.” I couldn’t stop the tears from cascading down my cheeks, she was such a welcome presence.
“Come in.”
“What on earth has been going on? Where have you been?” Bennie asked, holding me at arm’s length. “I really thought I’d lost you. You look dreadful.”
“Thanks,” I said with a wry smile. I grabbed a piece of kitchen roll and blew my nose.
“Do you want tea?” I asked.
“No thanks, I thought we could do with some of this,” she said, holding up a bottle of rosé.
“Let’s go and sit down,” I said, grabbing a couple of glasses out of the cupboard.
“Where have you been? I’ve been so worried about you both,” she said
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Bennie sat on the sofa and tucked her long legs underneath her. She waited patiently, nursing her glass of wine, giving me the space to begin in my own time.
“There’s a limit to what I can tell you,” I said. “I hope one day I’ll be able to tell you everything but the situation is…” I searched for the right word, “…sensitive.”
“What do you mean sensitive?” she asked.
“I can’t answer all
your questions, but I’ll tell you what I can.” I felt uncomfortable withholding information from her and reassured myself I was doing it to protect Toby rather than any selfish reason to protect myself.
“Toby was kidnapped and after I left here we spent the next week trying to find him.”
“Bloody hell!” she exclaimed. “We?”
I braced myself before I said his name. “Ahran and me.” She cocked her eyebrow and I ignored it. I punched down the pain that surged through my chest.
“Was Toby kidnapped by that crazy woman?”
I nodded, thankful that I didn’t have to speak immediately.
“Where did she take him?”
“It took us ages to find him, but eventually we found out he had been taken to a remote residence of hers.” A picture of Bazeera’s castle flashed in my mind. “Even I was kidnapped at one point.”
Bennie’s eyes widened even further.
“It was horrific,” I said, shaking my head. “Luckily I was rescued by Ahran’s sister.”
“His sister?!”
“I know,” I said, shrugging and shaking my head. “She’s like Lara Croft’s ninja cousin.”
Bennie nodded. Her face was a picture, she was clearly struggling to take it all in.
“Ahran and a friend of his, they are both like former S.A.S, rescued Toby. We all managed to escape and that was pretty much it.” I hadn’t told her the whole story of course. I neglected to tell her about the King not allowing Toby to return to Earth, that Ahran and I had fallen in love, and then, thanks to his vengeful ex, found out that he had caused the death of my sister. I almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of it all.
“Flippin’ heck Sophie, it all sounds God-awful.” Bennie looked scandalized.
“I nodded and swirled the wine in my glass. I was trying hard to fight the waves of desolation that were about to engulf me once more.
“So where is Toby now?”
“He’s with his grandparents.”
“Whereabouts?”
“I can’t tell you that.”
“Is he coming back?”