by Roman Shepp
Quentin was losing himself again, and Tony saw an opening. Without hesitation, he brought the bat back and swung it around with all the force he could muster. If this didn't fell the giant, then nothing would. The bat swung across Quentin's sternum, sending him to the ground like a bowling pin. Tony soon followed, collapsing beside Quentin, breathless.
Chapter Eleven
Although it hurt him to leave Tony behind, Saeed knew he had to get the others to safety. He held Tara's hand, and practically dragged her out of the bunker into daylight. He wished he could have shielded her eyes from all the horrors of the world. Even now they had to step over dead bodies, and it wasn't fair that Tara should be seeing such things. He thought of Aaminah and how he always had promised his daughter that he would fill her life with sunshine and rainbows. Childhood was a precious thing, and something that was over all too quickly. The grim reality of life took hold and dragged an adult's soul down into the muck. Aaminah was dead, and Tara's childhood was in ashes as well. It saddened him to think about a girl who had been forced to grow up far too quickly.
Part of him thought about telling Tara, Martha, and Belinda to wait there while he went down and helped Tony, but one look at Tara told him she wouldn't be able to cope without him. Tony had Rosa, Frank, Jane, and Phil to help. Tara only had him. He didn't think Martha and Belinda had the strength to look after a child.
“What are we going to do, Saeed? Are we going to help stop the bad man?” Tara asked.
“We're going to be safe, Tara. I promised Tony that I would look after you. We're going to find somewhere safe, and then we're going to meet up with the others. Okay? You don't have anything to worry about. I'll make sure nobody hurts us,” he said, hoping he wasn't lying. He remembered saying something similar to Aaminah years ago when she had been scared one night. He hadn't been able to keep that promise, so he was damned sure he was going to keep this one.
Martha and Belinda were hyperventilating. It was almost funny to see how Tara was able to handle the stress better than those two. They were standing next to a tree, huddled together, trying to gain strength from its thick trunk. Saeed walked over to them and tried to get them to calm down.
“It was him. How did he find us?!” Belinda wailed.
“I don't think he was looking for you,” Saeed said.
He glanced back at the bunker, wishing Jane or Tony himself was out here. They'd be better at handling something like this. Saeed himself barely had started recovering from his own trauma. He didn't know how he was going to look after all these people.
“What's going to happen?” Martha asked.
Saeed glanced at her hands. She'd grabbed the map before she left, which showed some quick thinking. All three were looking at him to make a decision. So far, he had looked to blend into the shadows, happy to let Tony and Jane take the lead. Rarely had he provided any input toward the group’s decisions, but now the responsibility fell squarely on his shoulders. Ever since that first night, when his family had been taken from him, Saeed had withdrawn into himself. There was no chance to hide any longer. These people depended on him, but could Saeed rise to the challenge?
The last people he had been responsible for had ended up dead. Martha's question hung in the air. Saeed glanced at the floor, wondering if he had it in him to take care of them. Would they be safer without him? It was a question he had to face.
“Saeed?” Tara asked, her face a picture of innocence.
He looked into her wide eyes and saw the entire truth of the matter. He had to take care of her because she had nobody else. He knew that if Aaminah had been in the same situation, he'd want someone to be good and kind to her. If Saeed let his own guilt and shame prevent him from looking after this little girl, well, he'd truly be lost.
“Sorry, Tara, I was just thinking,” he said, breathing in deeply. He planted his feet on the ground and looked around him.
“We're going to wait here a little while to see if anyone else comes out, but then we're going to get moving. Tony bought us some time. He wants us to be safe. I'd love to be able to go back down there and help him, but our job now is to continue on. We have to find somewhere safe, and we'll find the others again soon.”
He spoke the words. Yet he wasn't entirely sure whether to believe them. He was left thinking about something his father had said to him before Saeed had been married. His marriage to Nadya had been arranged, and they only had met each other a few times. To promise that he would spend his life with her had been daunting. Especially since he had been brought up in the Western world, where freedom of choice was a fundamental right. Saeed had wanted to stay true to his traditions, though, and live the same way as his ancestors, but in that moment, he wondered if he could live up to them.
“Saeed,” his father said, “I know exactly what you're going through. I went through the same thing, and my father went through the same thing before me. This day is not easy, but it is not supposed to be,” he began.
“How am I supposed to promise something I'm not even sure of myself?” Saeed asked. At that point he knew he was attracted to Nadya, but he was afraid they would find out they were not suitable. He only had one chance at marriage and did not want to waste it. He already had taken more time than usual to find a bride.
“You do not have to promise you will love her in the sense of what you are thinking. There are many more ingredients to love than a marriage. There is trust, respect, and honor. Those are things you must promise. Promise you will be a decent man. Do not forget that she is a person too, and she will share these feelings. The two of you can use that common ground to help get to know one another. Do not feel as though you are alone in this. You are not. Think of the humane thing to do. Be honest with your wife. Be dignified. Treat her with respect. If you are struggling, tell her about it. I know it is not always easy for us to open up about emotions. The things said between a man and his wife are sacred, but there are many things said behind closed doors. When you have children of your own you will understand even more fully.
“Life is not always easy, and the things we promise do not always come true. But the fact that we promise to try is the most important thing. Even if you do not feel the burning of a passionate love right away, there is still a chance it can grow. Give yourself to this marriage. Try to feel the love. Nurture it like a shrub and watch it grow. So many things can change in a life, and love is a sea you must ride. Like every feeling, it will ebb and flow, and as long as you are committed to it working, you will see results.”
Those words of wisdom had indeed worked. Saeed had ended up falling completely in love with Nadya. Now he felt the same with his promise of care. He did not know that he would be able to take care of the others, or that he would even see Tony and the others again. Yet, as long as he kept believing and kept trying, he could be proud of himself, and that was a feeling that had been absent from him for a long time.
“Can I speak to you for a moment, Tara?” Saeed said, pulling the little girl aside.
He kept one eye on the bunker, ready to run in case the masked man came out. He wanted to give the others as much of a chance as possible, although it was strange to stare at Don's dead body outside the entrance to the bunker. He had chosen the wrong time to leave. The wrong time for all of them.
“Did your mommy and daddy get a chance to tell you about this world?” he asked, trying to find the best way to talk to her about the situation.
“A little bit. They said it was more dangerous, and that a lot of things were going to change. Like, I wouldn't have to go to school. I didn't mind that so much, but they also said I wouldn't be able to see my friends again. That made me sad.”
“Yes, I can imagine it would. There are very bad men in this world, Tara. That man was one of them. I don't know why he wants to hurt us, but it's important that we try to get away from him. Tony and the others are fighting down there so we have a chance to get to safety. I know it might seem wrong to leave them down there, but that's the choice they ma
de. Okay? If that man comes out again and finds us we're going to be in a lot of danger.”
“I know. I wish we could help them, though.”
“Me too.”
“We will see them again, won't we?”
“Yes, Tara, we will,” Saeed said, although in his mind he wondered if it was going to be in the next life. “Just stick by me and you'll be okay. We have a map and I think those ladies are kind. We'll find a safe place and we won't have to worry about that bad man again.”
Tara nodded and slipped her hand in his. Coming out of the bunker had been something that happened on instinct. Saeed had wanted to rescue Tara. It felt strange at first, having the hand of another little girl in his, but it was beginning to feel natural. He looked at the bunker and knew that, as much as he wanted to stay, they had to leave.
“Let's get out of here,” he said, worried that if they stayed any longer the masked man would come out and all of this would have been for nothing.
He gave a silent prayer for Tony, wishing he could have said a proper thank you to the man. It wasn't right that Saeed always was surviving when others were dying. He wasn't special. He should have been the one to pay the ultimate price. Looking down at Tara, Saeed made a silent vow that nothing ever would happen to her. He wasn't going to make the same mistake again. He wasn't going to let another little girl die.
It was difficult to not think of Tony and the others, and the grim chance they had for survival. The masked man fought with such ferocity that he seemed unbeatable. If this was to be their deaths, then Saeed regretted that he didn't get a chance to give them his thanks. There were always so many things left unsaid in life, things that always would haunt his memory.
Saeed led the others into the forest, wanting to get as far away from the bunker as possible. The more distance between them and the masked man, the more time they would have to figure out what to do next. There was, of course, the other threat of this strange community, and Saeed wanted to stay clear of that as well. However, since they had left the bunker in such a rush they hadn't brought any food with them. Saeed had a few things stashed in his pockets, but they weren't enough to survive for any reasonable length of time.
Just before the world had gone dark Saeed had been talking with Nadya about how comfortable their lives were. They had reached a point where they had a good amount of savings in the bank and could afford to take annual vacations, but now that all had ended. All his years of hard work had meant nothing. He was left with nothing, and it was difficult not to feel despondent. Would there ever be a point when he felt comfortable again? The state of the world was such that everything was scarce, and if he made it through to his later years he would have endured a whole lot of scraping and scrambling. Just the thought of it almost was enough to make him surrender. How Tara was going to make it through he did not know.
'You're stronger than that.' Nadya's voice came back to him.
'I'm not,' Saeed thought.
'You are. You can lead these people to salvation. This is the purpose I have told you about. These people need you, Saeed, and I know you can be what they need. Cast aside your doubts and let yourself be the great man I know you can be. Do not hold yourself back. You may think the world is your enemy, but it is not. You are your own worst enemy.'
There was much truth to her words, even though he still would put the masked man ahead of himself in the enemy pecking order. Thinking about that man, it was concerning how easily Saeed could have fallen into the same traps. If Tony hadn't been around to keep him sane, Saeed easily could have lost his mind and given into the rage and anger. There was a monster lurking in Saeed, and every day was a struggle to control it. The masked man evidently had lost that struggle, but Saeed would not. He couldn't, for Tara's sake. He was not going to let himself be so twisted with hate.
They walked until it grew dark, getting deeper and deeper into the forest. Martha and Belinda didn't want to stop walking for fear that the masked man would come for them again. They still were convinced he had targeted them somehow, but Saeed knew he had come for the ones who almost had unmasked him.
Tara was getting sleepy, and it had come to the point where Saeed was carrying her. It wouldn't do any good to keep walking like that, so he insisted they make camp. Martha and Belinda didn't seem too impressed, but they obeyed him anyway. Saeed was glad the climate was temperate. Without tents they had to sleep under the stars, vulnerable to the elements. Martha and Belinda settled down quite quickly. Saeed didn't pay much attention to their whispers, for he was more concerned with Tara. He placed his jacket over her body to act as a blanket, hoping she would get some rest, for she sorely needed it. Saeed settled down beside her, trying to get as comfortable as possible on the hard ground. He began by laying on his back, hands on his chest, staring up at the stars through the breaks in the leaves.
Saeed just was beginning to fall asleep; his body was exhausted, when he became aware of Tara writhing beside him.
“Hey, hey,” he said soothingly, putting his hand on her shoulder reassuringly. Tara was sniffing.
“I'm sorry. It's scary when it's so dark and quiet.”
“I know,” Saeed said. “Try looking up at the stars. I always liked looking up at the stars. They're so beautiful,” he said, and pointed toward them. Tara followed the gesture and looked up too. Her sniffing stopped, but she still was agitated. Saeed could hear it in her breathing. “I used to tell a story about the stars to my little girl, Aaminah.”
“Do you think she'd mind if you told me?” Tara asked. Saeed was a little taken aback by the question. He always had thought of the story as something precious between him and Aaminah, but now that he was beside Tara he started to think that actually Aaminah wouldn't mind at all.
“I think she'd be okay with it,” he said, and Tara prepared herself for the story.
“It starts a long time ago, when the gods walked the Earth. They were proud and powerful, and humans bowed down to them everywhere they went. It was so bad, in fact, that no humans ever could accomplish anything. They were always so focused on worshiping the gods. At that time, the night sky was completely dark as well, and nothing ever happened. Nobody ever could see anything, because the gift of fire had not been bestowed upon them either.”
“How did they get fire?”
“Ah, that is a story for another time, and another night,” Saeed said, unable to hide his amusement at Tara's curiosity.
“Anyway, the longer the gods reigned the more some of them felt sorry for the humans. There were these beings of such great potential and they were completely wasting it on making sure the gods could live in luxury. The gods began to disagree. Some of them wanted to keep things the way they were, and who could blame them? But these gods were not thinking about the welfare of the humans at all. The opposing faction wanted to give humans more freedom, wanted to show them they were capable of being more than they were. They wanted the humans to have more ambitions and desires. So, a war broke out.”
Tara gasped.
“It was a terrible war as well. The gods wreaked havoc across the land, and the humans were the real victims. How could they fight against gods? They could do nothing but cower and pray that everything would turn out for the best. It was a tragic war, and many died, but in the end the gods who wanted the best for the humans won. They were weary, but they granted the humans their freedom. What do you think happened next?”
“Umm, did the humans celebrate?”
“They did indeed, although they did not know the extent of what they were celebrating. You see, the humans had lived so long as servants that they didn't know how to be anything else. The gods tried their best to inspire the humans, but most of them did not know how to act. Then the gods realized that as long as they walked the Earth they always would be in the humans’ way. With a heavy heart, they admitted that if they were to be true to their beliefs they would have to leave their homes for the good of the humans.
“The humans, of course, were not happy abo
ut this. They worshiped and loved the gods, after all, and it wasn't going to be easy for them to adjust. They wanted things to stay the way they were because they did not know any different. Serving the gods was their life, and it seemed strange to want anything different. The gods knew they had to sever the ties that tethered them to the Earth, but that that was not going to be enough. They were ashamed of all the time they had taken away from the humans and wanted to give them the opportunity to make up for it. So, they had a plan to illuminate the night. Not enough to prevent the humans from sleeping, but just enough so they still could be productive if they chose.
So it was, on one sad day, that the gods leaped into the heavens and took their place as stars. They couldn't leave the humans they so loved forever, you understand. So, there they watch us eternally, looking down on us to make sure that we're completely safe. They left us on Earth so we could grow and find our own purpose.”
“So, they're looking down on us now? Like Mommy and Daddy are in heaven?”
“Just like that,” Saeed said. “They gave up something they loved so that we could have something precious too. That's what love is like really, you give up a lot because the love you have is more important.”
“Like my mommy and daddy again,” Tara said.
“Yes,” Saeed said, hoping that the story brought with it more comfort than just a reminder of all that Tara had lost. “Aaminah liked it because she liked the idea of the gods looking down on her.”
“I like that too. Do you think they'll ever come back down again?”
“Maybe. Maybe they will. I'd like to meet them if they did so.”
“Maybe they could bring Mommy and Daddy back with them, and your family.”
“That would be nice, although I think we might have to wait a little longer before we see them again.”