by Tina Donahue
She shook out the garments she’d arrived in seven days earlier, recalling how she’d stripped for Logan, dropping them on the outside walk. Blades of grass stuck to the black top, grit to her linen shorts. She pressed the items to her face, hoping to smell him on them.
As luck would have it, Logan came into the master bedroom at just that moment. No doubt to see what was keeping her.
She was still naked, not even having taken a shower yet. He, on the other hand, was scrubbed fresh, dressed in a navy tee and jeans, hair combed and face shaven, though not by her. That part of their deal was over.
Tessa’s soul ached. Her face warmed at how idiotic she must look, trying to catch his scent on her stuff. The rest of her yearned to have him close.
Logan remained nearer to the doorway than to her, looking uncomfortable. Like a host whose guest had outstayed her welcome, and he didn’t know what to say about it, not wanting to bruise any feelings, even as he hoped to see her gone.
He’d told her he only wanted to have a good time. She should have believed him.
She had no other choice now.
After clearing her throat, she held out her clothes and lied, “I think Molly must have slept on these at some point. They kind of smell like her. Do you mind if I use your washer and dryer?”
“Use anything you want.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ve told you repeatedly to make yourself at home.”
A nice prospect, but certainly debatable given his clipped response and seeming annoyance. Unlike the previous day when he’d talked eagerly about his devices, holding nothing back, he’d become more aloof as Tessa prepared to leave.
“Thanks,” she said, trying to keep her voice from cracking. “Would you like me to make us some brunch before I go? I’m not a great cook, but I can do eggs and stuff.”
“I’ll make it. The laundry room’s just before the sunroom.”
Where she’d coaxed him down to the floor, delaying his plans to use the pool. Pulling her Scheherazade act to make him do what she willed. No chance of that now since he was already heading downstairs.
Abandoning her plans to wash her clothing, Tessa took a quick shower instead, got dressed and saw to the rest of her stuff. There wasn’t any real packing to do since nothing had touched her skin except for him and perfume during her entire time here. Such lovely, magical moments. Gone now.
She forced down a swallow and ordered herself to chill, like the professional escort she was. The call girl he wanted her to be. To simply get through these last minutes together.
When she came into the kitchen, Logan busied himself with the meal, not bothering to look her way. Tessa stood by the table, feeling like an interloper, watching him finish the eggs and toast. Again, she noticed how comfortable he looked cooking for others, as though he’d done it many times for his children or Nicole.
“Can I help?” Tessa finally asked, breaking the silence.
“All done.” He put their plates on the table.
“You forgot the milk.” She went to the refrigerator, knowing he liked a tall glass with his breakfast, rather than the coffee she preferred.
With the carton in hand, Tessa turned.
Logan was staring at her outfit—black shorts, a top in seafoam green with short flutter sleeves, and cream espadrilles. No wedged platforms this afternoon or bows that tied around her ankles. For her and Logan, those days were gone.
Disappointment registered in his eyes. Indifference quickly replaced it as he regarded her hair, back in a ponytail, rather than worn loose. As far as her makeup went, Tessa had gone wild—at least in terms of what she knew he didn’t particularly like—putting on a bit of eyeshadow, blush, and rose lipstick, in addition to mascara. To the average person she probably looked natural. To him, she was no longer stripped bare, accessible.
As though he couldn’t have cared less, he turned away and pulled out a chair for her.
Her heart sank even further. “Thanks. Looks good. Smells great.”
The pups agreed. Their tails wagged furiously. They kept vocalizing that they wanted some of the food.
Logan nodded in response to Tessa’s compliment. That was the sum total of their communication with each other. While they ate, they showered attention on Molly and Jack. Kind of the way married folks did with their children, using them as a buffer against unwanted and hurtful intimacy.
When the hum of Wallace’s Lincoln neared, the pups scampered down the front hall, wanting at the new visitor. Logan picked them up, one in each arm.
“No, wait,” Tessa said before he could put them in another room. “I’d like to say goodbye if that’s all right.”
He frowned. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
Because she was an escort and he was her client? How about that? Or the way he’d been acting since they got up, like strangers again. All of the great times already in the past for him.
Not her. Tessa feared she’d remember and long for these days for the rest of her life.
“Hey you,” she murmured to Molly, her voice thick with emotion. She scratched the pup behind her ears. “Where’s your pacifier? You lose it again?”
Earlier in the week, Tessa and Logan couldn’t find it anywhere, while Molly had whined endlessly for her property. After an exhaustive search, Logan had finally located it in one of his shoes. Tessa smiled at her memory of how pleased he’d looked at having discovered the prize before she had, with them making it a game. Stupid, silly stuff that, for her, enriched the sex.
“You be good,” she told the pup, kissing the top of her head.
Molly licked Tessa’s cheek, leaving slobber all over it.
Logan thumbed it off, then stopped as though he realized what he was doing. Bringing back his hand, he mumbled, “Want me to get you a tissue?”
She wanted more days with him, just as she had with the other people she’d lost in her life.
“I’m good,” she lied, forcing herself not to lean into Logan…to smell, touch, taste him, drowning in his heat and strength.
On an unhappy sigh, Tessa said goodbye to Jack. He licked her fingers and barely held still long enough for her to kiss the tip of his nose. “No more Animal Planet for you, hear?” Tessa spoke sotto voce to Logan. “He gets way too excited when he sees another Lab, especially the girls.”
Her joke made Logan smile. For about a second. Outside, the Lincoln came to a halt. He glanced in its direction.
“Time to go,” Tessa murmured, fighting sadness.
Logan turned back to her. A long moment passed as they regarded each other. She hadn’t trimmed his hair as she’d promised. He hadn’t spanked her again as he’d threatened repeatedly these last days. So much left undone. Unsaid.
He inclined his head toward her luggage. “I’ll put your stuff in the car.”
“Wallace can do that.” No need to drag this out. It was over. It had never begun. “Goodbye, Logan.”
Mindful of the pups, Tessa leaned into him carefully, brushing her lips over his. Jack’s tail kept whapping her belly. It ached with loss.
Tessa swallowed and eased back, then used her thumb to wipe her lipstick from Logan’s bottom lip. “Thanks for a wonderful time. I really enjoyed it.”
Color rose to his face, his expression one of need, frustration, sorrow. Too many emotions, most of them unpleasant. He seemed on the verge of saying something, then simply nodded.
Unable to resist, Tessa went to the back of him and wound her arms around his torso, her cheek to his uninjured shoulder. His tee smelled of Downy. It wasn’t half as nice as his natural scent. Mindful of his scars—that he’d said no longer hurt, surely not like his heart—Tessa hugged him with care and tenderness.
After a moment and a sigh that sounded wistful or forlorn, Logan looked over. “Let me put the pups down.”
“No, don’t. I have to leave.” With her palms pressed to his flat belly, Tessa hugged him once more. “Be happy, okay?”
She didn’t wait for his answer. Releasing him, Tessa gr
abbed her purse and luggage, then fled the house.
“Everything all right?” Wallace asked when he saw her.
“Great,” she lied and hurried into the Lincoln, clearing her throat, swiping at her eyes.
Not once did Tessa look back as Logan’s place grew smaller and smaller in her side view mirror. That was too damn hard for her to do.
Wallace seemed to understand or didn’t want to get involved in anyone else’s heartache. He kept quiet as he drove.
Molly and Jack followed Logan from the front door into the great room, the wall of windows in there. He hadn’t recalled putting them down. Their pudgy bodies bumped against his legs. They whined, wanting to play.
For as long as he could, Logan watched the Lincoln winding down the drive that led to the main road. When he finally lost sight of it, he acted without thinking, hurrying to the stairs. From the second floor, he might be able to see it a little longer.
Halfway up the flight, he stopped and considered how foolish he was behaving. Watching Tessa leave wasn’t going to make this any better. Already the house seemed beyond empty. Too quiet even with the pups’ noise. Her delicate scent still lingered. For how long? Another hour? A full day?
He couldn’t hope for that any more than he could expect the wonder of her having been here to last. She wasn’t his girlfriend. She’d never be his wife, not that he figured she’d be crazy enough to have him. Tessa had merely enjoyed their time together. She probably considered him a kind of friend—since that seemed important to her—but nothing more than that.
Except maybe as a guy who also needed her compassion. Exactly what Logan didn’t want. Not from any woman. Especially not her.
When it came to Tessa James, his needs were many and had nothing to do with her empathy. For one split second as she’d hugged him in the foyer, he had imagined his caution receding so he could just go with his heart and ask her to stay awhile longer. Loving her as she required and he needed. Building one day on another, making a future, perhaps another family.
Just as quickly, he’d told himself it was out of the question. They barely knew each other. A week wasn’t adequate time to get to know anyone, even if it had started to feel like that with her. And another loss, even a mild one when it came to Tessa—her disapproving of something he said or did, not teasing him any longer, no longer joking around—would be more hurt than he was prepared to bear.
Dammit, this was supposed to have been only about sex, having a great time, letting loose. For the most part, he’d managed to make it so.
All he had to do now was accept it for what it had been, then forget about it. Lose himself in work as he’d always done. Stop picturing Tessa’s inviting smile, her adorable dimple, and delightful sass, how she played with Jack and Molly.
How she’d stirred and restored him.
Yeah, that was all he had to do…put those memories out of his mind. It would take some effort, sure, but he had persistence to spare and would use it.
Their parting was the best thing, especially for Tessa. Even if she had deep feelings for him, which she hadn’t vocalized despite those few yearning looks he’d seen, she deserved a better man. One who was whole, who could trust easily and believe in hope as readily as she did, and give her everything she damn well deserved.
Chapter Thirteen
Felicity propped her feet on the end table in Tessa’s snug apartment, her glass of Crystal Light punch resting on her belly. Outside, children screeched in joy and outrage at whatever game they were playing. It seemed to Tessa that the kids always got more rambunctious the closer it got to the beginning of school. Now only a couple of days away.
There was simply no stopping time.
She sighed.
Felicity leaned across the cushions to look at the chess game on Tessa’s laptop. “Who’s winning?”
“Ah, me, eventually. I’m playing against myself.” She hadn’t made a move in fifteen minutes. No matter how Tessa tried, she simply couldn’t concentrate on the plays.
Felicity sipped her drink, then pressed the chilled glass against her throat. “Do you really need to practice that before you see Charles again?”
“I don’t want to disappoint him.”
“From what you’ve told me, as long as you’re topless, he’ll be fine.”
Tessa didn’t return Felicity’s smile. So what if Charles had preferences? It was no crime for him to want them to play chess poolside, indoors or outdoors, at his huge Maryland estate. All he asked of Tessa was that she wear only her bikini bottom and a gold anklet. He liked to look at her as they played. They’d never shared anything more than a brief hug. Sex wasn’t what Charles wanted.
“He’s a nice man,” Tessa said. “I think it’s sad that he has to pay someone to spend time with him.”
“Well yeah. He’s not a troll. He’s what—mid-forties? Still fairly good-looking, not to mention stinking rich.”
Tessa mumbled, “He’s lonely.”
“Ah hon, with what he has to offer, he’s not lonely. I’m certain there are any number of women who’d kill to get their claws in him.”
“Exactly. That’s why he doesn’t know who to trust. He can tell me stuff he wouldn’t share with anyone else.”
Felicity tapped her fingernails against her glass, a clear sign she didn’t agree.
“He can,” Tessa insisted.
“Fine. He’ll probably have lots to share since you’ve been putting him off for weeks, ever since you got back from…” Felicity didn’t finish, as though realizing what she’d been about to say—that Charles hadn’t seen Tessa since she’d gotten back from Logan’s.
Even the thought of his name caused Tessa’s belly to flutter, followed by her heart sinking. A little over a month had passed since she’d hugged him so foolishly…so hopelessly in his foyer. That first evening away from him, she’d slept with her top pressed to her face because she imagined it bore a faint trace of his scent. As the days passed, Tessa had dreaded answering her phone, and had given Ronnie nothing but excuses as to why she couldn’t accept appointments with clients.
“You want to take some time off?” Ronnie had finally asked, her question ringing with sympathy.
No doubt Wallace had told her about his and Tessa’s funereal ride from Logan’s estate. How she’d rested her head against the window and sighed repeatedly.
“Do you mind?” Tessa had asked. With what she’d made from that week with Logan, she could afford to take the rest of the year off and still pay her bills.
“Not at all,”Ronnie said. “Call in when you want to return. The timing’s up to you, all right?”
No, it wasn’t. Tessa wasn’t certain she’d ever be the same again. She kept picturing Logan’s face lighting up, his baritone rich with excitement as he’d explained his work. She recalled those times he’d watched her when he didn’t think she’d notice. His expression thoughtful and at times yearning. No different from hers.
She’d wanted them to get to know each other a little and got more than she’d bargained for. Going through the day without seeing his smile, hearing his laughter, having him wrap his arms protectively around her while she did the same with him was nearly more than Tessa could bear. She liked him so much. Too much.
“When are you planning on seeing him again?” Felicity asked.
Tessa stared, until she realized Felicity was talking about Charles, not Logan. “In a few days.”
“That means you have tonight free.” She patted Tessa’s thigh. “Come with me to the club. Have some fun.”
“I don’t know.” She slumped against the sofa’s cushion. “I’d have to do my hair and nails, wax my legs…”
“Not to mention walking fifteen miles in the snow to get a cab,” Felicity joked. “Listen to yourself. You’re still in your mid-twenties. You’re not dead yet. You need to have some fun.”
Tessa shrugged.
This time Felicity sighed. “It’s only fun, sweetie. That’s a good thing, not bad.”
; She nodded, but still didn’t agree to go.
Felicity let the silence drag on for a bit, then said, “Okay look, I didn’t want to have to tell you this, but you’re beginning to worry me with the way you’re holing up in this place.”
“I’m not holing up. I live here. You’re not telling me anything I don’t know. You’re just interpreting it wrong.”
“That’s not what I wanted to tell you.”
Felicity sounded so serious, Tessa frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Logan, what else?”
Her belly cramped.
Felicity put her glass on the end table and pulled her legs beneath herself as she turned toward Tessa. “I know you really like him, or maybe you feel you can fix him.”
“There’s nothing to fix. He’s fine just as he is. He is fine, right? Nothing’s happened to him.” Tessa leaned toward Felicity, her pulse really pumping. “Oh my god, he hasn’t been in an accident or anything, has he?”
“No. Of course not. It’s not him I’m worried about, it’s you. Listen to yourself. You really, really like him. But babe, you need to get a grip. He’s a client, nothing more.”
Tessa sagged back against her sofa and muttered, “I know that.”
“I don’t think you do. You’ve been sitting in this tiny little box you call your home, moping around while he’s gotten on with his life.”
The pain in Tessa’s gut moved to her chest. Heat stung her throat and cheeks. “What do you mean?”
Suddenly, Felicity was mute.
“Tell me,” Tessa insisted.
“All right, all right.” She inhaled deeply, then spoke on a sigh, “I ran into Georgiana the other day. She’s one of the agency’s escorts you don’t know. We got to talking. Logan has a formal dinner tonight. Something to do with his business. He called Ronnie and arranged for Georgiana to accompany him to the event and to spend the night at his penthouse in the District.