I would never tell her or anyone else this, but I was worried, too. I was scared I would lose them. I was scared of leaving them behind so they had to fend for themselves when something happened to me. But I would never say it out loud. Bikers didn’t get scared.
So, I pushed the thoughts away and vowed yet again to keep them safe from all harm, to put an end to this and win back my territory. Because no one came onto my turf to fuck with me without paying dearly.
The rest of the day was uneventful. We spent time together, watching movies, cooking dinner, talking about trivial things. When Amy went to bed, Hazel and I spent time getting to know each other. I explained to her how I had gotten into the gang, how I had decided to be a biker.
She told me about her art and how it had been her life, her identity, for so long she was nothing without it. I understood her on that level. Without the gang, I didn’t know who I was either.
We came from such different worlds, but we were the same in many ways.
“Have you thought about how life will be once the baby arrives?” Hazel asked, her hand on her lower abdomen. “It seems so surreal to me still.”
I nodded. “I’ve been a little occupied, but I can tell you now: we’ll make a home with the four of us.”
“Do you want a boy or a girl?”
“I want a child with you,” I answered.
I didn’t care if it was a boy or a girl. I would love the child either way. But if it were a girl, it would be easier for me. I had already raised a girl, and it was easier to keep her away from my world. It was so easy for a boy to fall into the wrong crowd, to be tempted to prove himself and do the wrong thing.
I had seen it firsthand so many times. But when the time came, I would handle whatever happened. And I would love the child we created together unconditionally. I might not have understood romantic love as well as I should have, but I understood paternal love, and I was good at it.
We finally turned in just before midnight. Hazel slept in the spare bedroom, and we didn’t have sex. Everything was peaceful, and I held onto that as tightly as I could, while it lasted.
When I woke up the next morning, Hazel and Amy were already chatting in the kitchen, making pancakes.
“Morning, ladies,” I said. “You’re up early.”
“You’re sleeping late, Daddy,” Amy said. “It’s already nine.”
I glanced at the time. “So it is.” I had been relaxed enough to sleep in a bit. That was a good sign.
“I’m getting the paper,” I said, opening the front door. I kneeled to pick up the paper.
When I stood, Hazel stared at me. Her face was pale, her eyes haunted.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She lifted a trembling hand, pointing behind me. I turned.
A white skull had been painted on the door, covering half of it. The words were scrawled at the bottom, making my blood boil:
Marked for Death
Chapter Eighteen
Hazel
It wasn’t safe being on the street. It wasn’t safe being at home either. Not now that Christopher Maxwell had found us, not now that he had painted his skull on Logan’s front door, marking us for death.
“What’s that?” Amy asked, eyes wide. The look on her face suggested she knew exactly what it was. It was the same skull that had appeared on every graffiti tag in town.
Logan walked to Amy and folded her in his arms. “We’ll figure this out, honey. Okay?”
Amy swallowed hard and nodded. She seemed calmer than I was. Maybe, as Logan’s daughter, these things were a part of her everyday life. But none of it was normal for me.
I was in a panic. Logan was trying his best to look after us, protect us, but it seemed the more we tried to stay safe, the worse things got. Now that Maxwell knew where I was hiding out, nowhere was safe anymore.
“What are we going to do?” I asked Logan. I was on the verge of hysterics. I was pregnant, we had a teenager in the house, plus Amy and I were both artists, so we were targets. I feared for my life and the life of Amy and the baby. What kind of life was I introducing my child to when we were in this much danger even before she was born? I felt helpless and unequipped to deal with the situation.
“Calm down, Hazel,” Logan said, putting his hands on my shoulders. “Look at me.” He forced me to make eye contact with him, to stay grounded. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, Amy or the baby. We’ll handle this, okay?”
I nodded. I had to believe Logan. It was all I had left.
“I’m going to make a call,” Logan said, walking away from me. He pressed his phone to his ear, and a moment later he had Earl on the line.
He returned, satisfied.
“Earl has a place outside of town,” Logan said. “It’s a safe house of sorts. He’s agreed to take us there, Amy too, so we can be safe until we figure this out.”
“And Maxwell won’t find us there?” I asked. It sounded like a good idea, but I was worried it wouldn’t be good enough.
“There is no way he can find out where we are. Earl is willing to use all his resources to hide us. I told you, he’s on our side.”
I nodded, glancing at Amy. She looked as nervous as I felt. Going to a safe house was exactly what we needed, we had to hide until we were safe. I hated that it had come to this, but we had to deal with it now.
Earl didn’t just deliver a safe house to us. In less than an hour, he had rounded up a police escort to take us out of town. He came to collect us personally in an unmarked car. As we drove, cars joined us. Police officers fell in line one by one, all in unmarked cars until we were a convoy. We drove out of town, leaving L.A. behind.
“Are they all police officers?” Amy asked, looking out of the back window. I sat with her in the back seat while Logan was in the front with Earl.
“Every single one of them,” Earl confirmed. “I have a lot of friends in the police force, and a few of them owe me a favor. See it as a gift from me to you.”
Amy grinned. “This is cool.”
I had to agree with her. Being escorted by a convoy of unmarked police cars finally had me feeling safer. We could do this, we could stay safe until we figured out what our next step was.
Logan’s cell phone beeped, and he picked it up, opening the message. I glanced at his profile from the back seat. He was frowning.
“Is everything alright?” I asked.
“I think I just got a message from Maxwell,” Logan said.
He looked at Earl who asked him to repeat himself.
“You heard me,” Logan said. “Listen to this: ‘You can run, but you can’t hide. If I want your artists dead, you can’t stop me.’”
My blood ran cold, my stomach twisting into a fist of nerves. “He can’t know that we’re leaving town, can he?”
Logan shook his head. “I’m sure he’s just trying to threaten me. Although I have no idea where he got my number. This is not a good sign.”
“As soon as we have you at the safe house, you’ll have nothing to worry about,” Earl confirmed.
I leaned forward to see Earl’s face. His words were full of confidence, but he looked worried.
We drove in silence for a short while before Logan’s phone beeped again.
“Another one,” Logan said. “The safe house won’t do you any good, he says.” Logan looked at Earl. “He knows what we’re doing. How the hell did he figure it out?”
Earl shook his head, keeping his eyes on the road. “I must admit, I don’t know. But don’t you guys worry.” He looked over his shoulder at Amy and me. “There are cameras and an alarm system at the safe house. I won’t be far away. You’ll be safe there.”
I wanted to believe him. I wanted to trust that we would be okay, but if Maxwell knew where we were, we were in trouble.
After about an hour’s drive, we arrived at the safe house. It was a quaint double story building with a manicured front garden and the carport. We climbed out of the car and followed Earl to the door. He unlocked
it, stepped inside, and disarmed the alarm before inviting us in.
The inside was as well looked after and as attractive as the outside. The place was neatly decorated, unlike a bachelor pad. This was done by a woman.
“My wife and I secured this place before we got divorced,” Earl said as if he knew what I was thinking. “Since then, I changed it into a safe house. A place like this is necessary every now and then, and it doesn’t hurt to have a place to escape to.”
He gave us a sheepish grin as if he felt unsure about us having this glimpse into his life. I was relieved we had somewhere to be safe, I didn’t care about the history of the place.
“Thank you for this, Earl,” Logan said, shaking the detective’s hand. “It means more to me than you know.”
Earl nodded. “Stay safe. I’m not going to rest until we solve this. Until then, make yourself at home. I’ll keep you updated.”
We watched as Earl and the other officers left, leaving us alone. Earl had given Logan instructions on how to set the alarm system, and for the first time since I had seen the skull, I felt like we might be safe. I didn’t know how Maxwell had figure out we were going to a safe house, but he couldn’t know where it was. The three of us were together, safe for now, albeit a little shaken up.
Chapter Nineteen
“I don’t know what to think or feel,” I admitted when Earl and the officers had left. We were alone in a strange house, far away from anyone or anything that we knew.
Logan walked to me and pulled me against him. “I know it’s a lot to take in, but we’ll be alright. This is to make sure we’re safe.”
I nodded, my head against his chest. I knew Logan would do everything to keep us safe. It was who he was. But so much had gone wrong already and I was starting to fear that there would be no end to the danger and the uncertainty.
My art had always been a release, an escape from reality, a way to express myself when the world didn’t understand who I was. No, my art was the one thing that could get us killed, and it hurt me.
“Come,” Logan said, taking my hand and leading me to the couch.
We sat down together.
“I’m going to explore,” Amy said and disappeared into the house.
Logan looked like he wanted to go after her, but we were safe, for now. He could relax. He thought it, too. He stayed with me instead of going to check on his daughter.
“I know this is hard,” Logan said again. “But you know I’ve got you, right?”
I nodded. “I know. I’m just scared that this is going to stop. Everything is so dangerous now. And with people turning up dead… It’s really freaking me out.”
“It won’t last forever.”
“But that’s the thing – this won’t last forever, but how long will it be before the next thing happens? Until now I lived in this bubble thinking nothing would ever go wrong. I’ve been cured of that naivete, but I’m worried now that the world I’m bringing our child into isn’t a world that’s suited for him or her. I don’t know how we can keep our family safe.”
“You’re right – there will always be something out there that will threaten to hurt us,” Logan said, and it didn’t make me feel any better. “And there’s no knowing what will come next. But I feel a great swell of pity for anyone who tries to hurt my family.”
Logan looked so fierce when he said it, I doubted anyone would survive him if they really pissed him off. And despite his morbid admittance – that we didn’t know for a fact we would ever be safe –, I felt like he would protect us. There was nothing more dangerous than a man who stood to lose his family.
“Look what I found,” Amy said, coming back into the living room. She had found board games and packed them out on the coffee table. Clue, Scrabble, and Monopoly. “Do you guys want to play?”
We both nodded and shifted closer, so we were around the coffee table. We might as well keep ourselves busy. There was nothing else for us to do.
We started with Monopoly and Logan called dibs on the shoe.
“That’s not fair,” Amy said. “I want the shoe.”
“Take the puppy,” Logan said, and I laughed.
It turned out he was competitive at board games. We played and laughed, and I realized how much of a family man Logan was. He didn’t look like a family man with his rough attitude, crass words, and the way he was willing to harm people for the sake of keeping his gang and his family safe. But together, in this little house, waiting out the storm, I saw a man that could be a good father to my unborn child and a good partner.
When I had fallen pregnant, I had been terrified of what it would mean for me – whether I could raise the child alone, whether I should. I had taken a chance letting Logan into my life and considering raising the baby with him. But I realized I had made a good choice.
I hadn’t chosen a good man because I saw it up-front. I had been lucky that Logan was as amazing as he was because we had been together for the sex alone. But it was perfect. Fate had dealt me a good hand.
We made supper together using what Earl had left in the fridge for us. Our supper consisted of grilled cheese sandwiches and salad, and we ate it in the living room together. It was the best supper I ever had. There was something about the three of us working together that made it feel like I was already part of the family. That I had somewhere I belonged.
After supper, Amy took a shower. When she was done, she announced she was going to bed.
“I’ll tuck you in,” Logan said.
Amy came and gave me a hug. “I’m glad you’re here with us,” she said, and I was surprised. I had thought that she was disappointed – because I was the reason why we were in this mess –, not happy to be sharing this darkness with me.
“There’s no place I’d rather be than here with you,” I said, and I meant every word. I had grown very fond of Amy.
Logan walked with Amy to the guest bedroom upstairs where I was sure he would check the safety of the room and make sure Amy was ready for the night.
When he came down again, he sat down on the couch with a sigh.
“It’s easy to live my life, running with the gang and handling the bullshit that comes with it. The danger we’re in now isn’t new in my life.”
I nodded. Logan didn’t live a very clean, innocent life and he had the burden of a lot of lives to bare. He had taken responsibility for his men when he’d become president.
“But seeing you and Amy in danger has really made me rethink where I’m headed with this. It’s never been this close to home, not since Amanda left. Even with you in danger it makes me wonder if I’m a good dad, if I made the right choices.”
I put my hand on Logan’s arm. “If there’s anything I can tell you, it’s that you’re a good dad. Amy is a wonderful girl, and she's grown up to be a strong woman. You put your family first, and that’s more than some men who walk the straight and narrow every day do.”
Logan took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “It means a lot to hear you say that. I’m a big tough guy, but sometimes I need to know I’m still doing the right thing.”
I learned a long time ago that good and bad, right and wrong, were all relative terms. Nothing was clear-cut, nothing was black and white. It was easy to say a man who broke the law was a bad guy, or what he was doing was wrong. But now that I was in the thick of it, everything looked different.
I was starting to realize that the life I had always envisioned for myself – safe and cozy and away from anything that could really endanger me – had also been a life without risks and without passion beyond my art.
Yes, we were in a bad spot now, but for the first time, there was a hell of a lot more worth fighting for.
Chapter Twenty
Logan kissed me. I loved it when he pressed his lips against mine. Logan was a great kisser, but when I was with him, I felt like everything fell away and it was just him and me. When we were together, the danger didn’t exist anymore.
At first, we had fucked for the sake of fucking beca
use we both loved the other in bed. But it had become so much more than that.
Again, this time, when he kissed me, everything fell away, and I forgot the danger we were in. I forgot that we were in a strange house because someone was after us for something as simple as art and I lost myself in him.
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