Sins of thy Mother Part 2
-A Novel Written by-
Niki Jilvontae
Copyright © 2015 by True Glory Publications
Published by True Glory Publications LLC
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This novel is a work of fiction. Any resemblances to actual events, real people, living or dead, organizations, establishments or locales are products of the author’s imagination. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are used fictitiously.
Cover Design: Michael Horne
Editor: Kylar Bradshaw
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Acknowledgments
First, praises to the Most High for this gift and the ability to share it with the world. I'd also like to thank EVERYONE who supports me and believes in me. You all don't understand how much your love means to me. Love you all from the bottom of my heart!
Dedication
I dedicate this book to the son I lost.... I will never forget you my king. You are forever in my heart C.J. 09/11/2001 Mommy loves you!
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Sins Of Thy Mother Part 2
By Niki Jilvontae
Chapter 1
“Tisha, my baby. Mama came to get y’all...everything is gonna be okay now!” Denise said as I glanced at her in utter disbelief.
I could barely breathe let alone believe my eyes as I watched the woman in my nightmares, my mother sit at the island next to my stunned foster mother Tania and another lady who had to be from the courts, smiling at me. I felt light headed as I glared at her and she sat there with her dingy, peach business suit on, her hair pulled into a tight bun, and so much makeup on she resembled a cracked out clown. I could tell that Denise was high as a kite on prescription pills instead of her normal heroin, crack, weed, alcohol mixture because she was a lot calmer and way more focused than she normally was.
Like the true psychopath junky that she was, my mother reserved prescription pills like her bipolar meds mixed with 30 mg Oxycodone for those special occasions, when she had to wow the judges as she called it. Any time she had to face the authorities, she would pop a handful of happy pills and then put on her best performance. As I walked into the room, I could tell Denise was up to her old tricks. The way my foster mother was begging me to forgive her with her eyes said it all. I knew right then that Denise had won the best actress award again. She had obviously convinced the courts well enough to get us back, so once again we were being returned to her world, our nightmare. I could do nothing but bite my bottom lip and clench my fists as tears fell from my eyes and I watched as my world was ripped apart.
“Tisha, I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do. This is Mrs. Lee and she is a representative from the court, who works with Child Protection Services. She says that your mother’s rights were never taken and she filed the appropriate papers to get you all back. I’m so sorry, Shartisha.” Tania said as she got up and walked towards me and I ran into her arms.
I balled like a baby as my foster mother of a few months hugged me with more love than Denise had shown me in my entire 17 years of life. I felt numb and once again shattered as my foster siblings Krista, Jewel, and Ryan ran over to join in the family hug as tears fell from all of our eyes. Like countless times in the past, my siblings and I were being yanked out of our horrible situation and placed in heaven on earth only for Denise to come back like a ghost in the night and snatch us up with the help of the courts. The same system that was supposed to protect us and help us put us right back into the clutches of the devil each time we escaped and there was nothing we could do about it. We just had to try to protect each other the best we could and up to that point we had done an okay job.
We were doing okay until that second when I realized that one of the most important pieces of the puzzle was nowhere to be found. As I glared at Denise with that zoned out, glazed over, brain-dead junky look in her eyes, I knew he wouldn’t be though. If she was anywhere around, it was guaranteed that my little brother Sha would be gone. He still couldn’t stand the sight of her or to hear her voice because all of his wounds were too fresh. Despite how well I, he, and our sister Terricka’s lives had been living with the Robinson’s, Sha never forgot all of the horrible things our mother did to him, to us. He never forgot and probably never would forgive her. I don’t think any of us would forgive her for the hell she put us through.
“Where’s Sha?” I asked Tania with tears flowing down my cheeks as she wiped my eyes with her thumbs before kissing me on the forehead.
“He’s in the tree house. I haven’t been able to get him to come out since he saw them pull up. I’m so sorry, Tisha. I love you so much and we will fight for you guys. As soon as Michael gets home, he’s going to see what can be done. I called him at work and he’s on his way now. We L.” Tania said before being rudely interrupted by my mother clearing her throat and smacking her lips.
I envisioned myself running over to the island and drop kicking her wacky, cracky ass right off the stool she sat on as she taunted me, smirking while rolling her eyes at my foster mother. I glared at Denise with malice from across the room as she continued to smirk before looking at the Dollar Tree watch on her arm.
“Uhh, we have to be going, so go get the mu… Go get Shamel so that we can go, Shartisha. The police will be looking for Ms. Shaterricka too, be sure to tell her THAT when she comes back.” My mother said to my foster mother as I felt her words vibrate through my body.
Although she was trying her best to be nice and speak in a non-threatening manner, I could still hear the violent undertones in her voice and see the insane rage surging through her body. I knew that as soon as we were out of eyes reach the maniac who gave birth to us would make us regret the day were we conceived. That was a truth that we could count on.
I turned back to look at my foster mother with tears still flowing from my eyes as Denise continued to bicker behind me. I looked into Tania’s loving, scared eyes and I couldn’t help but to wonder if I would ever see her again. I couldn’t help but to cling to her one last time before totally pissing Denise off.
“That’s a fucking nuff!” My mother yelled before catching herself, holding her mouth with her hands while looking at Mrs. Lee with wide eyes.
I froze in my tracks, holding my breath and anticipating a total shit storm as I heard Denise get up from the island behind me. Part of me cringed, anticipating the heavy blow she could throw. However, another part of me prayed she would let the real her shine through for a second. I would take one of her punches to the head or elbows to the ribs just to expose the real her. I hoped in that moment her pills would wear off and she would be the raging lunatic no one else ever seemed to see, but was the same monster we had to endure abuse from our entire lives. If there was such a thing as luck, then my hugging Tania again as my mother walked closer would have set her off and caused the reacti
on I was looking for.
In a perfect world that’s what would have happened. In a world designed for anyone other than a child of my mother’s it would have been possible. However, the Lewis children were never visited by luck. We were cursed children who lived by circumstance and once again the sins of our mother was the circumstance that would cause us unbearable pain. I could feel the hair on the back of my neck and arms stand up as my mother sucked her teeth and began her stellar speech.
“I’m sorry everyone, my emotions got the best of me for a moment. I love my children so much, I just go overboard sometimes. Please forgive me.” My mother said looking at Mrs. Lee and then my foster mother.
I saw Mrs. Lee soften after looking into Denise’s eyes and seeing exactly what she wanted her to see. It was easy to see that my mother had woven her magical, druggie web around the lady like everyone else. It was like Mrs. Lee had hit the pipe herself and suddenly lost her damn mind. Denise had her under her spell and she was gone like a crack head in the projects with a $100 bill in his pocket. I felt defeated as I realized my mother had totally fooled Mrs. Lee and managed to ruin my life once again.
Like a true heroin addicted, con artist my mother had played on the kindness of her victims and their motherly instincts. I had to swallow down the lump in my throat when I looked back at Tania and saw a bit of softness behind her sorrow. It was hard to accept but not impossible to believe that Denise had fooled her too. That’s what she did, tricked people. The only problem was she could only fool people who didn’t know how evil, low down, and trifling her ass could be. She couldn’t fool me though because I knew her and I knew that she never had a good intention in her life.
All my mother ever cared about was herself and her drugs, which were both the reasons why she needed us back. She needed us back to inflict her pain upon us and to finance her drug habits through the form of government assistance. That’s it. We were nothing more than a violent release and quick hit in her mind and she had made that clear for as long as I could remember. I knew the real her. I knew that she was nothing but a sadist, psychopath who sold her daughters for drugs, dipped her son in scolding water, and beat, starved, and tortured each of us since we were old enough to walk and talk. I knew and hated her for who she was and I wished everyone else could see what I saw. However, as she sniffled and cleared her throat before continuing her speech, I knew that she was about to win again.
“I love my kids, all three of them and I am so very sorry for everything that has happened. I have illnesses that cause me to behave in a manner I wouldn’t normally behave in. I’m not trying to make excuses I’m just stating that mental illness and drug abuse are real issues that can hurt a person and their family. I know because it hurt mine and now I just want to get my family back together again. I’m back on my meds, clean of drugs 40 days, I’m on my way to being the mother I once was. I just need my children to give me another chance. Forgive me Tisha...Please!” My mother said pretending to cry as I felt her hand coming close to my back.
The heat from her palm seared my back and I felt the pure evil within her soul almost jump from her body into mine as emotions began to take over me. I rocked on my heels and shook while holding back my tears and the rage burning inside before quickly dashing out of the room, avoiding Denise’s touch. It felt like the world was crashing down around me as I ran out of the kitchen, down the hall, and out of the back patio door with tears falling from my eyes. I could still hear Denise’s voice as I burst out on to the door and deeply inhaled the fresh air. I could hear her crying for her audience and gaining the sympathy she wanted as I slammed the door behind me.
Once I slammed the door, silencing Denise’s conniving voice I stood there for a minute with my eyes closed and fists clenched, thinking about all of the pain in my life. It hurt to think of all we had overcome to only be thrust back into turmoil, but I knew that regardless of what hell lie ahead I had to be strong. I hummed our Salvation song in my mind and quickly found the strength to push all of my hurt, anger, and fearful emotions to the back of my mind and put on a brave face for my brother. I took several deep breaths, thinking about what I would say to Sha before making my way across the huge, plush lawn to the two-story tree house he was held up in. When I made it to the little blue step ladder leading up to the bright yellow, hatch door, I reached up to ring the bell but Sha opened the door before I could even touch the string.
“We have to go back, don’t we, Tisha?” Sha asked, looking down at me with those sad, troubled eyes that were wise beyond their years.
I almost burst out into tears staring at the little brother I loved so much, but couldn’t protect from the one person who was supposed to love him the most. I wished that at 10-years-old my brother didn’t have to from suffer memories that would haunt him the rest of his life. I wished that I could take all of his pain away and give him the healthy, happy life he deserved. If wishes were dollars, I would have been a millionaire, but they weren’t so all I could do was try to ease my brother’s mind and my own at the same time.
I had to convince him and myself that everything would be okay when we left with Denise, even though my heart and mind were telling me something completely different. My heart told me to prepare for the disaster. My mind told me that I hadn’t seen the worst of my mother yet. As I stood there staring up at my little brother with brave eyes and a crumbling heart, I knew that both my heart and mind were right. I knew that pain was in our near future if we left with Denise, but there was nothing I could do. She always found us no matter where we went, and when we were found we were always brought back. I couldn’t fight that. I just had to do my best to make things bearable, like I always did.
I managed a big smile at Sha before motioning him down from the tree house as I gathered my thoughts.
“You know I can’t be climbing trees with your niece or nephew in my stomach, boy. I have to be careful, no more jumping off roofs like Bat Girl.” I said laughing as Sha stepped down on to the ground in front of me and smiled before touching my stomach.
For that brief second my brother looked so happy and peaceful as he touched my stomach, ignoring the world around him. He was so calm and serene I almost didn’t want to interrupt his happiness with the ugly truth. However, I knew that I had to. I owed him the truth no matter what.
“Yes Sha, we have to go back.” I said to Sha suddenly as he immediately stopped rubbing my stomach and attempted to go back into the treehouse.
I grabbed Sha’s arm pulling him back into my arms as he cried and tried to break free.
“No Tisha, I won’t go back. She is crazy and she does awful things to us. I hate her, she’s a monster. Why can’t anybody else see that? Why won’t anybody help us? Why won’t you help us, Tisha?” My little brother said while crying hysterically as I turned him around in my arms so that I could hug him head on.
Sha held me tight and allowed all of the tears that were penned up inside of him out as I rubbed his back and hummed the words to our Salvation Song in his ear. I could feel Sha’s tight, tense shoulders and arms soften in my embrace as my love and the melody of the song soothed his aching heart. I knew what he was feeling, oh too well. And there was nothing more I wanted than to take away his fear and anxiety. However, I doubted I would ever be able to do that. What I could do was assure him that I would be right there with him until the end, no matter what, so that is what I did.
“Sha, I know it’s scary to even think about going back, but we have to. We know the courts don’t work for us and that lunatics like mama have more rights than anyone. I can’t promise you that things will be different when we go back home with Denise this time, because I’m sure they won’t be. What I can promise you though, is that I will be here for you. I will protect you Sha. I won’t let her hurt you and when the first opportunity presents itself I’ll get us out of there. Just roll with me in hell a little while longer lil brother. It’s just me and you on the inside now and we’ll have to get Terricka to work from the outside. If we
stick together, we can get away from Denise for good. You just gotta trust me. Okay?” I asked Sha as a tear fell from my eye and he wiped it away.
I looked into my little brother’s sad, tortured eyes and I saw a deep sorrow and an unwavering strength. Just like Terricka and I, Sha had lived through hell, survived, and developed a calculating, unrelenting strength that emanated through his eyes. I could see the fight still in him as he managed a weak smile before nodding his head at me.
“I trust you big sis, you know I do. I trust you and Terricka with my life and I know that if no one else cares, y’all do. I’m just scared, Tisha, but I’m gonna be strong and I’m gonna help protect you. I won’t let her hurt you anymore or hurt the baby in your stomach. I love you, Tish.” Sha said as he hugged me tightly and I hugged him back as tears ran down my face.
I held my brother and cried one last time before drying my eyes, grabbing his hand, and bravely walking into the valley of the shadow of death.
Chapter 2
“The Lord is my Shepard; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His’ name sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
SINS OF THY MOTHER 2 Page 1